It must be hard to be a feminist nowadays. Yes we have all the power from the
freedoms that are granted to us by the constitution but freedom is something that we really don’t know what to do with if you are from this niche group. Prostitution baffles most women because on the one hand we say is morally wrong and all those other bad things that you can think of whilst on the other hand is it not empowering women to do what they want with their own bodies? We have women on the one hand saying its wrong and women on the other hand saying finally they can do what they want without being policed. It’s a catch22 argument really but that’s not my point, legal or not I have absolutely no respect for men who sleep with prostitutes. The whole thing seems as abusive and bullying hence why knowing that Sfiso was with one just felt like a stab. What kind of a mother would want their children to grow under a man who thins women can be used as sex objects? He really was out of touch with reality?
“Just my luck! How could I even dare think that I was going to get lucky with this part?”
I asked myself as I settled in and at that moment my phone rang and it was him.
I told myself. He was obviously about to apologize for what he had done and wanted me to just sweep such behavior under the carpet. I was not willing to do that at all. I switched off my phone and closed my eyes. I needed to think this through but for now all I needed was rest. I don’t know if it’s just exhaustion or what but I fell asleep and only managed to wake up around 2 in the morning to take myself to bed. It’s so annoying because now I had to change prepare for bed when I was already sleeping. I found myself just dropping off everything on the floor and got into bed. It took me an hour before I could sleep again but when I did I was gone. I woke up after 8 even which made me realize that when I go back to work I was going to have problems waking up. There was someone knocking on my door. It was still so early though. I wrapped myself around my gown and went to open. I was not expecting anyone so I assumed it was Sfiso. I opened.
I said out loud.
He said then he lifted up coffee and a brown paper bag.
“I brought breakfast!”
He said meekly. The coffee smelled nice though and its aroma filled my nose immediately.
“I tried calling you and when you did not pick up I got worried!”
He said before I even answered him on the breakfast point.
“Yeah I slept early yesterday. I was very tired had a busy day. I switched off my phone and yup that was that!”
I told him.
“Oh makes sense. When someone leaves alone and they switch off their phone it’s really worrisome but I understand. Coffee?”
He said handing it over. If you have never had Starbucks coffee I can assure you that you have missed out in life. I am not making this up especially if you are a coffee lover. I accepted it.
“Thank you! Are you coming from gym?”
I asked him as he was in sweats.
“I was actually going there but the conversation we had earlier on had me feeling guilty. May I please come in?”
He asked me.
“Of course you can, you are here already!”
I had been standing by the door this whole time and I had not intentionally ignored that fact my mind was just far away.
He said as he walked in. My place was not a mess even though I had not cleaned it.
“Just give me a second!”
I told him as I went to put on something to wear that more appropriate. It’s not that I did not trust him but underneath my gown was underwear and it was not even the sexy type. I put on leggings and a top but I did not lose the gown. I felt fat.
“Sorry about that!”
I told him. I put my coffee in the microwave as it was cold already and I wanted it hot. Only after that was done did I sit down.
“I think I owe you an apology!”
I told him.
“How is that?”
“Yesterday you called to give me a job offer and instead of being grateful I threw it back in your face and made it all about me. For that I was wrong and I am sorry!”
I told him.
“Its ok I suppose. I should have given you more room and I jumped the gun!”
He told me but even I knew that he had done the right thing. I think lately I had become allergic to happiness because this guy had given me news which in my current financial situation should have been the best ever.
“Its ok I am sure you had your reasons. I have already made an appointment with connection so that I can go ad cancel all this!”
He told me.
“No please don’t. I need the job I don’t know what I was thinking turning it down in the first place!”
I told him. I would like to say that I had thought this through thoroughly but I hadn’t. The needed me to come for an interview soon so I had to prepare myself.
“That’s great news but please note that you don’t have to be…”
His phone rang and he picked it up.
He said. It was loud enough for me to hear the heavy breathing on the other side.
He said again.
A female voice said on the other line.
He said back. Hold up? I knew who that was. It was his sister the one who was a prostitute.
“Please Simba I need to…”
He stood up and he went outside. I had no idea what had been said at this moment because ah this guy.
“Is everything ok?”
I asked him.
“Yes everything is fine.”
He said faking a smile.
“May I please use the bathroom?”
He asked. He put his phone down as went into the bathroom. I ran to his phone and managed to take her number before he came back.
“Where were we?”
He asked me ad before I could answer he said
“Yes the job interview. That is awesome that you changed your mind. I am glad hey wow! Ok then.”
“I am sorry I can’t stay any longer I have things to go take care of now but I will call you in the evening.”
He said. That phone call had spooked him that’s for sure.
“Are you going to your sister?”
I asked him.
“Yes I am!”
He said and he walked out immediately. I don’t know though there was something about the way he said it. I decided to go and bath soon after I finished my Starbucks. This thing was bugging me though. I could not get over how he had left and the voice on the phone. Much as I told myself it was none of my business something felt wrong. I had to follow up.
“Good morning Aunty Lungi!”
I heard Ntheti’s voice from outside even before she knocked. I walked to the door and opened.
“Good morning my dear. Why are you not at school?”
I asked her.
“They gave us extra days off because of the holiday so I now have a very long weekend!”
She said cheerfully.
“Where is your dad?”
I asked her.
“He is at home. He went to bath so I snuck out to come say hi. I have to go home now otherwise he will worry!”
She said and just like that she left again. I had not seen her play outside since that incident meaning that she was not being allowed to play. I watched her skip away and enter their door. I still had to go see her father though. He still believed that my pregnancy was his and it was not.
I called the sisters number.
I said as soon as she picked up.
“Yes who is this?”
She asked me. I could hear that she was crying or rather had been crying. What was I doing?
“I am a friend of your brothers. When he left here he said he was going to you, did he come?”
I asked her.
“I don’t know what he told you but he said to me I must rot where ever I am so no he did not come!”
She told me. Goodness why was Simba like this? With me he was loving caring and with her he was this horrible monster.
“Where are you right now I am coming to you?”
I asked her. She seemed hesitant but she told me anyway. It was not that far to be honest so I got into my car. I called Simba.
“Yes Lungi what’s up?”
He said cheerfully.
“Your sister just called me I am on my way to pick her up!”
I told him.
He asked angrily.
“I can’t believe you said what you said to her Simba! She is your sister and she needs your help!”
I told him but he hung up the phone angrily before I even finished the call. I knew I had lied but I wanted him to know that I was going to her and there was nothing he can do about it. Women need to stand up for women because if we don’t we will watch women die in front of us because of abuse and so on. You can’t call yourself a woman if you don’t have the empathy to help others.
I knocked on the door of the flat and she opened the door. I know I had only ever seen her once but I remembered face.
I said to her when she came outside.
“Who are you?”
She asked me.
“We spoke on the phone earlier. It’s me Lungi.”
I told her.
“Oh yes, I have changed my mind!”
She said. I could see she was absolutely terrified. She kept on looking around.
“I am here now! How about we go have a cup of coffee?”
I told her.
“I don’t drink coffee. You shouldn’t be here! God what have I done!”
She said. I was not sure what was going but I was scared now because of her own fear.
“I am here now!”
I told her. A voice from the house shouted out,
“Tsitsi who is at the door?”
It was a man’s voice, an angry man’s voice!
“It’s a nothing. It’s a lady selling Jehovah’s Witness!”
She shouted back.
“Well tell the bitch to go away and get back here!”
The voice shouted back.
“Please leave or we will both be dead!”
She said and she closed the door behind her. Her fear was palpable! She was so scared even I was scared. I was not going to be a hero. I ran for my life.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for the opportunity to share my story.
I am 33 years old and I got married recently to my long-term boyfriend. He is 35. When we were dating he cheated on me with a woman who would later on become my boss. She got a tender and her company thrived. When I was looking for a job my then boyfriend who was cheating with her at the time (I didn’t know this) got me the job. He just told me it was an old friend. I only found out when we were married that he had cheated with her. She has always been nice to me at work and we are too few in the office to not interact. My problem is I don’t feel hurt or betrayed at all by all this. Every time I think of it I think I should be getting mad and angry but it’s almost like whatever. Does this mean I don’t love my husband? When the truth came out, he told me himself I just ok and continued with my life. I am confused by reaction because this can’t be normal. Even my husband keeps asking if I am one day going to snap ad kill him in his sleep. If anything he is more scared than me.
What should I do? Is this even normal?