Young Employed and Single

YES 207

A lot of people believe that people who have no money and end begging

on the streets are lazy to work. They also believe that if you work hard you will make money and the moment they have that money look down on those who do not. The sad part in all this is this, often even when they have all that money they think they have they are broke. Ask any person who is earning how often they are broke and they will tell you they only have money on payday and after that it’s late for them. My situation was different. I had money but at the same time I was as good as being flat broke.

I needed to call my lawyer.

“Nthabiseng they have closed my accounts?”

I told her frantically.

“That was fast!”

She exclaimed,

“But don’t panic. I warned you of this right and I hope you did as I asked and withdrew money from your account!”

She mentioned.

“Yes I did and I also did everything that you advised me to do. I paid of my car and left just r15000 rearranged the installments to r500 a month, my house my bond is now down to r750 a month as per your advice so I practically did away with my debts!”

I told her.

“That’s good. Now this thing I hope won’t even go to trial as we will try settle and you will have your life back in no time!”

She advised.

“That’s going to be tricky because I did not manage to get enough money out!”

I told her.

“I don’t understand you could have gotten whatever money you wanted out!”

She questioned me.

“I only took out r60000 out and I got busy and so much happened eventually I forgot! Oh my God what have I done?”

I said literally hyperventilating.

“Lungi I told you. I advised you to do something and you did not do it! Lungi why would you do that though? Why?”

She asked me in defeat and angrily at that too. Wisdom with what do with money lacks in most of us so knowing that I could possibly have r60000 only indefinitely was what was killing me right now. How was I going to make it work? Even my shopping needs for food would have to be rationed. R60000 is what exactly R5000 a month for a year! You will be surprised to know there are people with big families who live on less. I am not naïve to think I could suddenly rearrange my life and all of a sudden everything is forgotten. It’s not possible.


She shouted on the phone

“Yes sorry I got lost there!”

I confessed to her.

“When I advised you it was not breaking the law I was trying to set you up for better things but now that you have not done it this makes things harder! Lungi you are my friend and I love you but sometimes you are stubborn for no reason!”

She told me.

“I know! I am sorry! I don’t know how lost track of it really. I am really stupid and feel stupid right now! I am so scared Nthabiseng. I am on my way to the gynae right now and I don’t even have cash. Do you know how humiliating that is?”

I asked her.

“Your medical aid still works but after next month when they fail to deduct it will be a problem!”

She advised me again.

“Yeah I know but every doctor first consult you pay! As if this is not enough guess what, the doctor said I am having twins Nthabiseng! What am I going to do with twins?”

I asked her and at this stage I was sobbing. This was all too much for me. I did not deserve this. No one deserved what I was going through.

“I don’t know what to do Nthabiseng and you are shouting at me! Why must I suffer like this dear God why?”

I cried. I cried for all my frustrations and I think that took Nthabiseng by surprise because all she could say now was,

“Shhhh please don’t cry!”

Over and over again,

“You are going to make me cry too!”

She said and in no time we were both crying. I know people have theories about what a true friend is but those are theories, this is the reality!

“I am sorry I made you cry but don’t worry we will figure it out. I have a very busy day ahead so I will only come see you after hours ok!”

She told me.

“Thank you!”

I responded. I had to go. I did not want to cry further and embarrass myself. I woke myself up. I did not need to stress my babies right now. I had to start being more responsible. As I drove a sms came into my phone but I did not look at it until I was home. I unpacked the car and put the groceries away.

“Thank you!”

I whispered when I read it. It was an ewallet from the only person who knew my situation. I did not want to call her though because she said she would be busy.

“Thank you so much!”

I texted Nthabiseng. Some friends are heaven sent and she was one of them. I was not going to be a bum though as I had every intention of paying her back.

“You welcome. See you later!”

Her response said. She had sent me r1500. This was the second day today someone had given me money. First the strange guy from shopping. I had been rude to him but let’s be honest, every girl has that side of her when a man approaches her she does not feel. We get approached so much it’s sometimes annoying especially if you want to be left alone. I did not even get to thank him.

A sms came into my phone.

“I am on my way there now so be ready when I get there!”

She told me.

“Ok cool I will be ready.”

When she got to my place I asked her if she could stop at the garage I needed the ATM.

“I am sure you can swipe there though!”

She told me.

“They always tell us on TV never to carry cash around!”

She advised.

“No its ok. I have a ewallet I am picking up. I don’t want it to expire!”

I told her.

“Problem is I don’t know how to use ewallet. I have never actually received one!”

I told her and she burst out laughing. I don’t know what was funny.

“You are joking right?”

She asked me.

“Crap you are not!”

She answered herself.


I told her.


She said. I was not lying. I was always the one sending others money so when and where will I have used a ewallet. Whenever my mother wanted cash and I was around or I could I would drive there in person. I was not being a snob I just did not know how.

“Don’t worry I will teach you because I don’t want you asking strangers in future!”

She said sweetly. When we got to the atm she took me through it. It was pretty simple actually so I caught on fast. Finally we got to the doctor. We sat there for like 5 minutes. He was still with another patient until the nurse came and said,

“The doctor will see you now!”

“I am not going inside with you; I am here already aint I?”

Ezile said when I looked at her funny for not standing up with me at the same time.

“Ah dude are you serious?”

I asked jokingly so I walked in alone. The doctor when I walked in was actually not in the office he was in an adjoining room which was to my right. Two minutes later someone walked in.

“Sorry for the short wait!”

It was a man’s voice!

Why was the gynae a man?

“You are a…”

I turned to look at him and before I could finish my sentence I froze!

“I am Dr. Masi…”

He said and then he stopped mid sentence. I blurted out,


And he literally stopped for a second and then he went on to sit down.

“It’s a small world aint it and yes I am a man!”

He said as he went and sat down on his side.

“Indeed it is! I guess now you know my name!”

I said completely confused. I was going to kill Ezile. Why had she not told me that my doctor would be a man and worse, this was the man who had paid for my groceries?

“I guess I do!”

He said smiling. It was not a cheesy smile at all and I could tell he was embarrassed too. You know doctors are like teachers, they never really want to bump into their students especially when they are out having fun. He had tried to shela me and now here we were.

“Ok can I just say this, this is awkward!”

I told him.

“Yup it is. I can always refer you to my partner but she is coming in two days though?”

He offered graciously. I won’t lie that thought appealed me to me greatly but knowing me and all the drama that happens in my life I felt it wise to just stay put.

“No doctor its fine. I am start apologizing for being rude to you earlier. With the day I have been having believe me you would have…”

I started to explain but he raised his hand slightly and said,

“You don’t have to explain. I totally understand I think I would have been rude. I am new in Joburg, I was practicing in Bloemfontein so making friends ahs not always been the easiest thing. People here are scared of each other and yup very rude but I will work around that!”

He said cheerfully trying to disarm me a bit more. The mood had been tense but in moments we were both laughing. He was from Bloem married with a child and when he greeted me he said he had genuinely been trying to be nice because according to him,

“You look like you were having rough day and I thought I could help. When I saw you at the tills I knew I was right!”

He said. Shit I had not mentioned that part.

“I am going to totally pay you back!”

I immediately blurted.

“Of course you will otherwise my wife would make force me make a confession to having a sugar baby!”

He said laughing. He had emphasized that confession part as though maybe he had been caught before who knows with men these days.

“Anyway what brings you in today?”

He asked me.

“I am pregnant but I need a full check up!”

I told him. He called his nurse and I went behind the curtain to change. Ok now I was embarrassed. This guy was about to see my secrets down there! I honestly don’t get how men can be gynecologists! You are exposed to so many different lady parts how do you remain attracted to women after that? When I got onto the examination bed the nurse asked me to put my legs up, wide apart on the stirrups. She covered me with a towel. Ratladi then walked in and sat in front of me,

“Ok then let’s do this! I just want you to relax and think pleasant thoughts!”

He told me by way of reassurance.

I have never been more humiliated in my life to be honest.

I just closed my eyes and prayed.

*********The End***********

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Thank you for getting to my letter.

I have been married to my husband for 16 years now and I used to think that I knew him very well. About 6 years ago my husband decided to be born again after a car accident killed two of his colleagues and he survived. I supported him with because although I was not a serious Christian I understood a need for a relationship with the church. Instead of joining these many new age churches he went and joined IPCC (Modise). I told myself that I could live with it. He then encouraged me to join with him and again I did so but reluctantly. I did not enjoy it though as I grew up in Lutheran so after a while I told him this. This is when all the problems in my marriage started. He started calling me disrespectful and said I thought I was better than other people. I just did not like the church and to a certain extent he was right in that I am a very classy person and I like classy things. I now found myself in a church where men are encouraged to take other wives and the like. That is not how I was raised and what my education led me to. My household is now so tense I think we are on the verge of divorce. I love my husband. I thought I could do anything for him and my family but if I subject myself to that church I am going to find myself having to accept a second wife eventually. That’s not me I would kill that woman in her sleep no doubt. I am trying to fix my family but I don’t know how. He is adamant to stay whilst I am adamant to go.

Can anyone advise me on my problem?

Thank You


14 thoughts on “YES 207

  1. straight to Q&A:
    Wife, IPHC (popularly know as Modise church) is a very classy church depending on your definition and description of classy hey, But, i don’t want to dwell much on that dear.

    Spirituality is a very emotive subject. i don’t know which school of thought you cheer the most: the one that dictates that a woman must follow rules that the man as a head puts, or the one that dictates that we are individuals first and collective after, meaning that you come first?
    Either way dear, unity is vital in building and sustaining the family. i strongly advice you to make an informed research about IPHC at Silo Zierbekom, so that you can discuss your fears with your husband factually and on an informed ground. spiritual issues are very sensitive, so please, don’t discredit a church, just face your feelings.

  2. Im upset that Lungi cant catch a break actually. Your writing is so good that im stressed with Lungi every step of the way! Thats how much it captures me,lol!
    Wife, its a tough one because you say you have told your husband how you feel, so communication is clearly not the problem here. I personally feel staying in a church that does nothing spiritually for you is dangerous in the religious realm. Uzoya and that will mean every Sunday you wake up and do something you are not happy with, regardless that will still lead to an unhappy household. No one should ever force a church or their beliefs on any one else, husband or not.

  3. Wife
    Let it go. Tell him you will no longer go to that church and let him go alone. There’s nothing u can do about the possibility of him taking a second wife other than being grateful it hasn’t happened and there’s a chance it won’t happen. The problem u have right now is that u don’t like the church, so stop going and try to non verbally persuade your husband not to go as well. Do something u know he cannot resist whenever he’s due to go to church or plan fun activities for yourself during that time instead of stewing about it. U know his weaknesses, use them. It might take sometime and effort to work but eventually you’ll win. I mean u can catch more flies with honey than vinegar u know. That church has only had him for 6 years, you’ve had him for 16 I’d say the odds are in your favour. U can even include alternating Churches… His church this week then Ur church the next week sort of thing.

    1. Alternating churches would be harder. You can’t pray to 2 gods at once. IPHC prays to Modise whilst Lutherans pray to Jesus Christ.

  4. Lungi’s ancestors need to come through for her now, ngine Stress on her behalf kunini.
    I hope the twins survive.

  5. …and which medical aid is lungi on that requests one to pay cash for consultation? I have never heard of such. I am on Discovery and I have never had to fork out money to any specialist for consultation, it gets deducted from your medical savings and even if that runs out you still get two free consultations on your threshold.

    I know you don’t owe me anything Mike but please do your research, lately you seem to derail off from reality.

    @ to those puppets that will be attacking me after this post, go jump off a bridge and see if I care.

    1. Hi.. First consultation with a gynecologist they require cash, Admin fee or something. All gynecologists charge this fee at first consultation. I also had to pay R600 for my first consultation a few months back, then the check ups there after they deduct from ur med Aid.
      Hope this will be helpful.

      1. @Letty you are then on a wrong medical scheme. I use Dr Seabe, he is based at Life Brekenhurst in Parktown and girl I have never had to fork out any money from my purse, everything gets deducted of my medical savings!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *