Bad decisions don’t always come from a position of dumbness and is something that people don’t understand. We are
quick to call a woman who steals bread or soap in a shop stupid and pathetic not considering that she is a mother that has run out of options. To this you will conclude that she is dumb to get pregnant in the first place without having the means to feed herself or her family but then again you don’t even how she got to be pregnant! That’s the reality of making opinions on a person’s situation without thinking straight. One person was dead already and if my blood could save the life of another then why not? I was putting my body and my baby at risk but I was in a hospital so I was covered.
“Lungi wake up!”
A voice said to me. I felt a hand patting me on the cheek,
The voice said again. The hand was cold and rough which even in my groggy state I knew it was a man’s hand.
“Is he ok? Did it work?”
I asked in my weakened state.
“Yes it worked; your blood helped a Lungi! You are a brave woman to have done this pregnant!”
The voice said. I realized that it was the doctor who had said this. I was feeling a bit week at this moment.
“I am sorry I did not tell you that I was pregnant. I just wanted to help and these people are family to me.”
I told him. He just shook his head and said,
“Its ok I understand. It’s a good thing you did that too because we noted that you have a slight calcium deficiency and it was not in your chats. I have given you something for it and its important right now when pregnant because you need your children to be born big and strong right!”
He told me.
“Yes doctor thank you but I think you made a mistake, for a moment there I thought you said children! This will be the first and last!”
I corrected him. We grow up being told that we need bog families but in reality how are you going to feed three children with the way everything is so expensive. I could barely afford myself even when I had a good job so having more kids that one was really not an option I wanted to entertain.
“Miss Mbatha then I have a surprise for you! You are actually not carrying one but two children! You are going to have twins!”
Was my immediate response.
He responded even nodding in the process.
“It was also not in your chat but I don’t blame the doctor because your pregnancy was detected pretty early and sometimes it does not immediately show but I am pretty certain that its twins! Congratulations!”
He said and his phone rang and he stood up to go take it leaving me alone to my thoughts. Everyone loves twins and the thought of twins but raising two kids at once is the most difficult thing ever if you alone. I was already complaining about the thought of one now two! I reached for my phone and I called my doctor,
I said in an accusatory tone,
“I heard Lungi oh my Lord this is so exciting congratulations on having twins! The doctor told me that they had to check on the pregnancy when you passed giving blood and tests so far saying its twins!”
She said sounding so happy I could punch her through the phone. I was calling to shout at her for not seeing it but that was not going to change the price of bread now was it.
“Yeah its twins but you should have told me!”
I told her off.
“Lungi you refused to come in for a thorough check up. I even advised that you go see a gynae and you said you would! Have you even accepted that you are pregnant in the first place before go there?”
She asked but in a very sweet tone. She was happier than I was. I honestly felt like something was wrong with me. Everyone else gets excited about pregnancy especially when they do not want to terminate yet I did not have the euphoria just worry.
“I miss my mum hey. She would have helped me with all this!”
I confided in her. She was not Nthabiseng who I told everything but she was here now so she would have to do.
“I know you do but don’t worry, we are all here for you and kuzolunga!”
She reassured me. I could not see how right now. There was so much on my plate and it hit me that I was actually unemployed with money that could be taken away from me at any point.
“Its ok I will call you when I get home! I am still at the hospital!”
I told her. She offered to come pick me up but I refused her. I was emotionally drained as is. I looked at the time and it was already before five and by the time I convinced the doctor that I was safe to go home it was almost 8pm. I was not a patient here so I did not have to stay.
“Just see Azwindini before you leave! That’s the only thing I ask of you.”
The doctor had pleaded with me. On that I had no problem as with my blood inside him I had something to tell him. His mother and brother were not at his door this time around which was what I preferred.
He said when I walked in. I did not even realize that he awake when I walked in but his voice was weak.
“Thank you so much for the blood. I heard you were quite the hero in there and all for me! My mother could not stop thanking her people because of you and I don’t know how to say it in Zulu but I will, ngiyakhubongela!”
He said with a weak smile. This man was in a bad state I could see for myself but I was not going to stay long.
“I didn’t do it for you I did it for your brother and your mother! Rudzani is dead Azwindini did you know that? She is dead!”
I told him again. I was trying not to raise my voice so I rather hissed at him at this stage.
“You think I don’t know that?”
He asked me as tears rolled down the side of his cheeks. He was crying and it made me even angrier because he could lie there and shed a tear but when he got better he would definitely be back whoring again.
“You should know that’s it’s your entire fault. I spit on the day you ever met her because really you killed an angel!”
I told him. I wanted him to know that what he had done was bad and he must remember that girl every day of his life.
“I know Lungi ok!”
He sobbed through the words.
“No you don’t know well enough. I can’t believe this I really can’t! The monster survives and the princess dies! What kind of ending is that?”
I asked him angrily. He just did not get enough as far as I was concerned. Men get away with too much!
Someone cleared their voice from behind me. It was his brother and I don’t care how much he had heard.
“The nurses say we must give him time to rest he still has a long way to go!”
He said from the door. He then walked in to check on him.
“Before you guys go Mbilahelo a word please!”
He said weakly. I was not going to hang around, I walked out.
“I still don’t know how to thank you Lungi?”
His mother said. I think she wanted me to answer as though it was a question but I could not.
“It’s ok Mma. I am just tired and I am going to leave for home now!”
I told his mother. I did not want Mbilahelo to see me leave because I have no doubt he would want to talk to me hence make it awkward.
“Are you not going to wait for Mbilahelo to walk you out? It’s not safe for women these days to go out alone!”
She advised me.
“No that’s fine I will be fine. I parked close to the door anyway!”
I told her. She tried to argue further but I made sure I left before he came. I was no ready to face him. He still wanted to talk about that letter so I knew how this would end.
“Lungi where are you I have been trying to call you!”
My sister said on the phone.
“It’s been a bad day I just want to go home and rest. Please bring me food I am too lazy to go and buy for myself!”
I told her.
“Ok no problem I will send you food. What happened though?”
“Do you remember that girl who came to my place asking me about HIV what what?”
I asked her.
“Rudzani? Of course I know her! She was your colleague for a long time!”
She went to say. I don’t know why I always forget that they all know her. We had shared that office for what seemed like forever now!
“Yes. She shot and killed herself yesterday!”
I told her.
“What? You lie!”
My sister said in complete shock and who can blame her I would have been in shock!
“I kid you not. She also shot Azwindini so am coming from the hospital right now! It’s a mess!”
I told her.
“Please tell me that it has nothing to do with you Lungi? Please tell me it had nothing to do with she came to your place for because even I know that is bad luck!”
My sister said to me. She did not have to tell me what I already knew.
“I am exhausted. Just send the food. Anything you think of I will eat. That’s how tired I am!”
I told her.
“Ok cool I am coming there to sleep over. You can’t be alone!”
She told me. I did not argue with her. The reason why I had left my place was to avoid people. And if I had been healthy I would have told her not to come but I simply had no energy. She brought the food but I barely at because I was exhausted. I went to bed even without bathing.
My phone was ringing. Was it tomorrow already? How many hours are in a night kante?
I said groggily.
“Hi it’s Mbilahelo!”
He said on the other side even though I had his number so his caller identity was there for all to see.
“Yes hi, I mean morning. How is he?”
I asked him as my thoughts sort themselves out into proper order.
“He did not make it Lungi! Azwindini has left us!”
He said and he posed as he gulped. He was crying.
“No that can’t be right! When I left he was on the road to recovery no!”
“He is gone! My little brother. He is gone!”
Azwindini was dead.
I went all through that for nothing.
He was dead.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you so much for all you have done for us as readers. You are one of a kind and when you publish all these books I would like the collection for my younger sisters to read and one day my children.
Mike I am in trouble. I met a guy who is in his early thirties and I am 23. He was perfect amazing and all that. I live in Jhb and he lives in Pta. I would go to his place on alternative weekends and we spoke everyday for hours. I fell in love and I got pregnant. I have never been those girls that believe that a woman needs a ring to have a family but lobola is a must. One of my friends works at Home Affairs and it came up as a joke that we should check out our partners. She found out that my boyfriend was married and even once divorced. When I confronted him about it he said, ‘I thought you knew’! I am not a stupid girl I beat him up good he even went to the police. The police told him that I should have beaten him up more for what he did and somehow the charges were dropped. Now I am an intern, pregnant and have no boyfriend. I am scared Bhuti Mike because I feel trapped and cornered. His wife then called me saying that we should sit down to talk woman to woman. I refused but she has been insisting. I told her what had happened and she said that is how she met him too! This guy is an evil bastard hey but I think meeting this woman is not a wise thing. I don’t want anything to do with this man.
Am I doing the right thing?