You know I have always wondered what it would feel like to win the lotto! You know that moment when you see that you
have got the numbers that they are looking for. I have often wondered if I would survive that excitement because goodness me I think I will even go crazy at that moment. Imagine, r70 million on offer and you win that? Now with that in mind when I heard Ntheti’s voice, the excitement I felt was it the same? I lost all energy and sat down. A man came to the phone and said,
“Sir good evening. My name is Alfred and I am a fuel attendant at Engen garage…”
I did not listen any further because I truly was on the verge of fainting as the excitement had overwhelmed me. I did not know how to react; I did not know what to do simply. Mbuso took over the call and started to the man. We had passed that garage earlier with the cop and I knew exactly where it was.
“Oh my God I know where that is! I passed that garage guys!”
I told them.
Mbuso demanded and we drove there immediately. I was not the one driving so I demanded that I drive as it would get us there sooner. We stopped swapped and sped off there.
Ntheteng shouted when she saw her father. She ran to him and he hugged her tightly in his arms.
“My baby girl, I am so sorry!”
He said to her as tears streamed down his cheeks. He was crying and I don’t blame him because we were all crying too. The petrol attendant, Alfred, came out as well.
“Sir thank you, thank you so much!”
My sister said moving towards him and she hugged him. He was a bit surprised but even me with my fear of germs and hugging strangers I went in and hugged him too.
“No don’t thank me, thank her! Most kids don’t know their parents numbers by head and she sang it out as soon as she got here!”
He explained. Small things we take for granted to be honest, small things!
“What did she say happened?”
I asked him.
“She said some bad man was driving her father’s car but when he discovered her he stopped to think on what to do next. She ran out into the bush and when he tried to chase her could not see her. She followed the lights and ended up here!”
Trust Ntheteng to pay attention to detail even at such a young age. This was leadership.
“I must call the police!”
I told them as we walked out but Mbuso immediately said,
“No don’t please!”
I was a bit surprised by this because they were out there busy searching for her and if we did not tell them they will do it all night.
I asked him as we got into the car.
“Because they will grill her all night about who had taken her. I just want her home that’s all! I want her home!”
He said and he had a point but because I knew the police we actively looking for her it would be so unfair to leave them out there.
“No Mbuso that is the wrong move I am sorry!”
I told him of which my sister chirped in,
“I am with her on this one. The police are worried and who knows Ntheteng can give them evidence to arrest these animals!”
He seemed to soften up at this so I called the officer who had driven me home.
“I have good news! We found her!”
I told him excitedly.
“What do you mean you found her? Where when how?”
He asked me.
“She was at that garage we passed…”
I told him but he blew me off and said,
“Red and Blue…”
He said in disbelief!
“Yes red and blue remember you did not believe me!”
I had gotten that vision when I was with him.
“Tell you what! Go home and I will come there to make a report! We were already half way to Secunda!”
He said. This was the news that was best for all of us because it meant that we could all go home. Mbuso sat at the back with his daughter and she fell asleep almost immediately. She must have been tired. The rest of the trip home was a blur.
“Thank you so much for all you did today. I will never forget this both of you!”
Mbuso said to my sister and me. I am petty ok and I had not forgotten that I was not talking to my sister so as soon as we arrived at our complex I went straight to my place and I locked the door. She can go to her fiancé this was not my problem. My sister called me.
“What is it?”
I asked her.
“We still have to discuss what happened Lungi. Can we talk about this tomorrow please?”
She asked me.
“I am busy tomorrow and what’s there to talk about. I am not the one with an issue it’s the two of you!”
I told her.
“Lungi come on stop being so stubborn, this is a very serious issue and what you did was wrong!”
She said but I was not hearing it.
“How was I wrong? You started dating a guy who you met because of me. You did not even bother to find out his history with me and now that there are consequences you turn around and blame me!”
I reminded her. I know a lot of people who do that. They do something without thinking yet can’t take responsibility for their part in it.
“Lungi that might be true that I did not ask you for permission but I didn’t think I needed to! You guys were not dating and you never said anything about him of that nature so how could I have known that my mighty all knowing sister didn’t know that you buy condoms at the garage!”
She said angrily and ouch! If someone else had said it to a different person I would have laughed but well it was to me.
“I see now you have jokes and you say you want us to talk?”
I asked her angrily as well.
“I don’t have jokes. This is serious and you know. If you are pregnant by my fiancé’s child we need to discuss this!”
She said and there she was throwing that fiancé word around. Last time I checked she was angry and wanted to go home yet now she was fighting for her relationship.
“I did nothing wrong to you. If I recall when you started dating neither of you told me in fact I found you next door. I know it’s an uncomfortable situation now because you thought you were clever doing this behind my back. I am tired dude I want to go to bed is there anything else you want?”
I asked her.
“Lungi come on, you are being stubborn. We can’t ignore this it’s too big and you know it!”
She started again.
“Ok then tell me this, what exactly do you expect me to do? I am pregnant. There is a baby in my tummy right now as we speak. There is no baby in yours. There is a ring on your finger; there is no ring on mine. You have a man in your bad and there is no man in mine. Those are the facts, what is the solution?”
I asked her. We had gone around in circles all this time so now maybe getting to the point would allow her to allow me to go to sleep. This was not a conversation I wanted to have now in any case.
“That’s very simple; I am the one getting married so you should be the one to sacrifice! You must have an abortion!”
She said with so much confidence she even knocked the air out of me. I was stunned to the point that for a moment I did not have words to say. She recognized this and said,
“Imagine what you would tell her when you introduce her to her aunt. You will be saying your aunt’s husband is your father? How will that even sound Lungi? I will be married to him and you will have a child by him. We might as well do Isthembu ke where I am the senior wife at this rate!”
She continued oblivious of what she had just said I must do. She wanted her bread buttered and that’s fine but for her to have suggested that and so candidly too.
“Did you day I must abort my baby? No wait I must kill my baby over a guy I met and slept with before you so that you can have a piece of metal around your finger?”
I asked her. I think put like that it meant totally different. I had compared murder to metal so obviously I won that round and from the sounds of it she was at a loss for words.
“Lungi I didn’t mean… I …”
I said rudely and I hung up. I was tired to be honest. I lay on the bed and my sister tried to call me once but I allowed the phone to ring and I ignored it. I actually thought she would come knock by door since she was vat and sitting next door but she did not. I had a call of my own to make and this was something I think I had been thinking of for a while now.
I called the only person I knew who was willing to help me on this.
“Aunty I am ready. I think I need to explore this calling thing a bit more!”
I told her.
“Calling thing? This is not something you explore, it’s something you either do or don’t do! It’s not one of your science experiments at school! A decision like this because once you open the door for it closing it is no Childs play.”
She explained to me.
“I thought this is what you always wanted for me to take the calling now you are saying such things?”
I asked her annoyed.
“You are not doing me a favour Lungile you should know me better!”
She reprimanded me.
“I am serious aunty I need to do this. I feel like a lot of bad things are happening to people and around me and I know I am to blame. That is why I am doing this!”
I told her. Sometimes as a person you grow up and accept responsibility for your inactions. You can’t complain about land yet in the same breathe do absolutely nothing about it except retweet.
“Ok then. I will make the arrangements!”
She said before she hung up. At least this time I was clear about this and there was no turning back. When I put my head down I passed out. I don’t even think I dreamt because before I knew it was morning.
I was finally going to twasa!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for your time and for reading my letter.
I met my boyfriend about four years ago when he was in a happy relationship with a friend of a friend. We were introduced at a party and at the time I was looking for a job he had contacts he shared with me and I got the job. His company where he worked had a contract with where I got the job so we started interacting a lot and before long it was a full blown affair. He lived with his then girlfriend at the time and I knew her. It’s hard not to feel guilty but the more I fought my obsession with him the deeper I fell. Eventually we were found out and his girlfriend asked him to chose her or me and he chose me. It was a hollow victory because it was an affair that was never meant to happen. We started dating exclusively and a few weeks ago he asked me to marry him. I thought I would jump up at that opportunity but I actually realized that because of how we met and what we did to his ex he is not someone I can fully trust. I don’t know if he has cheated on me but it is something that constantly haunts me. I am in love with his man but I feel like I go insane when he does not pick up the phone or is not where he said he will be.
Can I ever get over this? I made this bed I know but right now the only thing I am certain of is that I love him. Will that be enough to continue with marriage?