“Thank you Jesus!”
That is what Ntheteng had said when she heard that I thought her father was my baby daddy. Did you see that new law that says you can’t beat up your kids? Well imagine having a child who speaks out of tone and amongst adults like this. How on earth do you allow for such mischievous behavior and say you are building a strong steady family? It’s impossible really. There has to be some sort of discipline. I believe I turned out alright and my mother was strict as hell and she never hesitated to discipline. Very soon our kids will be like American kids telling us to ‘fuck off’!
“Ntheteng now is not the time for this behaviour!”
I warned her trying to prise her away from my body.
“No Aunty Lungi my father needs to know that he can do better and I don’t like her she is always whining! At least with you he won’t have another baby chasing him around!”
Kids! This is what happens when you don’t discipline and better yet, never say anything in front of kids you don’t want said in front of adults. Mbuso was embarrassed by this no doubt but it’s him who had raised a brat not me.
“Ntheteng go home right now and you best believe we are going to discuss this when I get home!”
The father said angrily. I had never seen him use such a harsh tone with her.
He said and she ran off to her house. My sister stood there breathing heavily. I could not believe the tone he had used but I could see a vein starting to pop in my sister. She had tears in her eyes.
“Lungi, did you say that you are pregnant with my child?”
He asked me. He had so much disbelief in his voice I swear his jaw was going to stay on that floor.
“I did not say you were the father but it’s highly likely that you are! It was not supposed to come out like this, not in a fight with my sister and the only reason why I am willing to talk to you is because that’s what went down. You were not supposed to know!”
I told him and I think I was being fair and honest with him.
“How selfish are you to think that I would have allowed that to happen? Do I resemble any of those loser men who abandon their kids at the first sign of trouble? I am not that man Lungile Mbatha and I don’t care how many degrees you have or lawyer friends on your phone book you carry, I will fight you tooth and nail for access to my child!”
He warned me. If Mbuso was not Mbuso I would actually think he was a good guy.
“It’s my child, it’s my body and I could choose to terminate this child right now and it’s my right not yours!”
I told him. Its true too, fathers don’t get as much protection as women do under the law and yes this includes if he wants the baby when it’s born or not. It’s like as women we have all these laws to screw over men for the power they actually never enjoyed under apartheid but we all pretend they did.
“You will not abort my child Lungile! I will take you to court if I have to and if that fails by God there will be consequences!”
He said horrified that I had even said that. He had also threatened me but I chose not to address that at this moment.
“What do you think the court will do Mbuso? The body is mine and the constitution says we I have the right to terminate pregnancy so yup you can take me to court all you want but not only will you lose your money you will also lose the child anyway!”
I reminded him. He did not seem to believe me even now. That’s what happens when you are not educated enough to do the basics. Ok that was mean but to be fair education gives you protection which ignorance does not!
“I can’t believe that you are willing to kill a baby because its mine! What did I do so wrong to you? Ntheteng loves you so much yet you want to kill her little brother?”
He said that and emotional blackmail really works when your emotions are high. Why was he giving my baby a sex when even I did not know what sex it was?
“What do you mean by that? I never said anything about me aborting I gave it as an example of the power I have over this situation! You can’t come into my house and force me to do what I don’t want to do! I was not lying when I said that you could be the father and that’s where it ends. I was not asking you to by pampers and formula, I can afford myself I was just saying that you donated the sperm!”
I told him. Our voices were raised at this moment as he argued about how evil and selfish I was being at this moment. Personally I don’t this I was. He was not supposed to have eavesdropped on our conversation but he had so now I had to deal with that.
“You are so ….”
He said pulling out his hair literally. I had surely vexed him but men are used to women begging them when they say they are pregnant.
“Wait…don’t touch me!”
My sister said angrily.
“What’s wrong? This has nothing to do with us please let me talk to your sister!”
He said to my sister who had been dead quiet so far.
“How dare you?”
She asked him angrily.
“How dare I what?”
He asked her. He turned around and my sister clapped him so hard I am sure he will be seeing double until next year.
“What’s that for?”
He asked her in shock over that clap. He was even bleeding the poor soul but I was not going to enter this one.
“You slept with my sister then you went on to sleep with me? How could you do that? Who does that?”
She asked him angrily.
“I thought you knew! You have never asked me who I have been with and I have never asked you who you have been with!’
He said complaining trying to stop the nose bleed with his t-shirt.
“It’s my sister. How could you do that? It’s my sister! My own flesh and blood! How could you?”
She asked again. I don’t think Mbuso realized what a bad position he was in right now because I know when my sister is angry. She is slow to temper but when she is there its late for anyone who stands in her way.
“I am sorry for that! From my understanding sister’s talk and they talk about such things so how was I supposed to know that you didn’t know!”
He asked her.
“Lungi, why didn’t you tell me?”
She asked me. I was not going to fight my sister physically. I was backing down.
“What could I say to you? You always assume I am out to make your life miserable. I am sorry!”
I told her. She looked at me and then disappeared into the night. I was to blame there was no doubt about that. I had not played my part well. I should have told her but pride or stubbornness got in the way now I had to be the one that had to apologize to my sister for sleeping with a guy I slept with before.
“Why are you just standing there, you need to go after her!”
I told Mbuso who had not gone after his woman.
“I will go after her, I will apologize and I will beg her…”
He started to say,
“Why are you with my sister? Do you even love her or are you just looking for a mother for Ntheteng?”
I asked him. The look on his face was like I had just slapped him but truth be told that’s what happens when you tell someone a truth they were not prepared to hear,
“Of course I love her why else would I propose to marry her!”
He asked me defiantly but more importantly unconvincingly.
“You are disgusting man, my sister is a wonderful trusting person yet here you sit selling her dreams. How can you be so cruel?”
I asked him.
“I love your sister!”
He declared again a bit more loudly this time.
“How can you say you love her, you just met her you idiot?”
I challenged him.
“Is there a time limit that must be there for you to be in love with someone? If I say I love her then I love her, you cannot tell me how to feel and when to feel it!”
He said again this time his tone more aggressive. I had actually managed to strike a nerve and I had really gotten under his skin.
“We are not here to talk about me and your sister but about me and my baby that you have in there!”
He said pointing at my tummy like it was a bakery. I was about to snap at him when my sister ran back in,
“Guys there is a problem!”
She said almost out of breath!
We both asked,
“Ntheteng is not home!”
My sister announced.
“What do you mean she is not home? I sent her there just now! Maybe she is hiding in the wardrobe or something. She does that when I shout at her!”
He said but I could hear the concern in his voice. Talk about timing.
“I got there to take my bags to leave and she was not in her bed nor was she on neither the couch nor the bathroom! She is not there!”
She explained as fast as the words could come out of her.
“Let’s go look for her now!”
I told them without hesitation. We went to the house and he went to all the wardrobes, the child was not there.
Mbuso said running outside. The panic in his voice was palpable.
He shouted again.
“Lungi you go right and I will go left! She can’t have gone far!”
He said already running.
“Please stay in the house in case she comes back!”
I told my sister as I did as he asked. I ran to the side of the complex I never went to shouting her name. People started opening their doors to find out what the commotion was about.
“I am looking for a six year old girl. She left my place to go next door but she never arrived!”
I told an elderly white couple that also opened. Before long a lot more people joined us including the security guards. They were new guys I did not know them but we trust in the uniform right.
It was then it hit me!
I called him.
“Yes what is it?”
He asked his hands on his head.
“Where is your car?”
He looked around in panic.
“What do you mean?”
He went to the parking lot and indeed his car was not there. It was gone.
‘She must have been in the car!”
He screamed running towards the gate.
I told him.
“I am doing so but I want to know which way the car went!”
Stupid man tracker doesn’t need all that but when someone is panicked they lose all sense of reason.
“Tracker, my car has been stolen and I think my six year old daughter was sleeping in it!”
I heard him scream on the phone. He was hysterical and crying…
So was I!
And my sister!
Have you ever lost a child?
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Sawubona bhuti and your readers.
My story is long but l will try to summarize. I have been with my partner for 16yrs. We have 2 children, he is a wonderful father and makes time for his children. The problem is making time for me or us (him and l).
We don’t ever do anything together, no date night, no dinners, no lunch not even a walk at da beach. Hell, l think the day he takes a walk with me to the tuckshop l would die. I have spoken to him about this, l have begged, l have even shouted but no changed.
His answer was ” make plans l will be there” but that never works even when l insist l will pay, he will make every excuse not to go and we end up not going out. When l go out with colleagues it’s a problem as well. So my life is work, studies, gym and home nothing else. Even my going to gym is a problem for him. On birthdays, fathers day, valentines and so on, it is l that gets him gifts but l get nothing. Yet l was told (show me what to do and l will do it) but dololo. Even if l suggest something that will not cost him or us money like a picnic l will make the food at home, still no he is either tired (or we are wasting his diesel) which l even offer to pay for but no.
I love this man but l am so bored in this relationship that l feel myself pulling away from him emotionally. He was never like this, he is not an out going person but he use to make an effort but for the past 7 yrs it’s been excuse after excuse. Even if l ask him to buy me maybe a clothing item, not going to happen yet we are already in a store buying something for him or the children, when l do buy things myself it is a problem as well. I don’t think he is cheating but his lack of attention for me has got me to a point where l dislike being intimate with him. I am not cheating (l do play with myself). I’m at a point where l am thinking about cheating just to put back fun in my life but l don’t wana hurt him. Am l a bad person for wanting quality time away from the bed room with my man? Am l asking for too much from this man?