Love can blind you to the true nature of a person. When you are in love you virtually sanctify a person who more
often than not does not deserve it. If you think of all the people you have dated and you thought you loved, after the truth came out as to whom they really where was that love even worth it. Was it wasted? I sat there for what seemed like forever as I tried to piece things together. When you suspect someone of cheating everything is amplified and even the smallest things that they do look bigger than they actually really are. Londiwe had been shady for a long time but was it because I was already suspecting her of something.
“Babe what has happened again this time you look so far away?”
She told me and she was right.
“No its nothing! I have to go!”
I told her standing up.
“Go where this late Vusi?”
She asked me surprised by that statement.
“I am going to Tumi’s place! You are more than welcome to come if you want!”
I told her.
“Does it really have to be right now? You can always see him tomorrow love come on don’t do this!”
She begged me.
“That’s why I said you can come too if you want!”
I told her already picking up the keys.
“Ok I am coming with but this had better be for a damn good reason!”
She said to me.
“I don’t need a good reason to go see my friend. Either you get with program or you stay behind!”
I told her this time using a harsh tone with her.
“Vusi you are changing and I don’t like it. You used to be the sweetest man ever and you never raised your voice at me like this!”
She complained when she joined me in the car. When she went to dress warm I had gone to sit in the car.
“I thought you and your sister said I am weak because I am soft and understanding! Why is it not working for you anymore?”
I asked her sarcastically as I drove towards the gate.
“But I am not the one who said it, she did!”
She said in protestation.
“Yes she did and you fucken allowed her to speak of me like that! I am your husband and if you allow your family to disrespect me like that it means you don’t respect me as well!”
I told as harshly as I possibly could. I screamed at her in fact and she sunk into the passenger seat next to me.
“I am sorry!”
She said to me but I was not hearing it,
“Do you really hate me that much that you would take pictures of your bruises so that you could blackmail me in future?”
I asked her angrily.
“Picture? What are you talking about?”
She asked me surprised.
“I went through your phone and I saw you texting someone about what you were going to do with those pictures!”
I told her.
‘What did you see?”
She said taking out her phone immediately.
“I did not read the conversation fully ..”
I told her but it was open already.
“I will read it to you!”
She said immediately and I tried stopping her but it was too late,
“If on the third time there are no sperms I am going to use those pictures to motivate them to come out. He was such a beast tonight and it was the best sex ever. My man is back Nonjabulo and I am so happy!”
She read it out loud. I just did not know what to say. It felt as though I was being manipulated by her yet again. Yes she had just read it out loud for me but there was something I was missing.
“Vusi are you going to say something. This thing of us fighting because of your moods is getting old. I can’t keep on trying to pick you up emotionally!”
She told me.
“So why do you bother then?”
I asked her.
“I can’t believe you would as that even. I do it because I love you that’s why!”
She protested. At this stage we were at Tumi’s place.
“Dude what happened to you? I was expecting you hours ago. These documents are so difficult to fill in I am so glad you are here!”
He said as I walked and then he got the shock of his life when he saw Londiwe walk in behind me,
He said very surprised to see her here.
“Hi Tumi, sorry I tagged along!”
“You didn’t tag alone; you came here with me because you wanted to see where I was going at night. You thought I was cheating!”
I told her bluntly. Tumi looked surprised by that response and Londiwe said,
“Wow Vusi really? In front of your friends! How are you going to embarrass me like that?”
She asked me very annoyed.
“Tumi, when your first baby mama got pregnant, the first visit to gynaecologist to check did you go with her?”
I asked him.
“Yes I did. I had to make sure she was not lying!”
He said and laughed to himself.
“I go with all of them in fact and if you don’t want to go with me you have something to hide! Women nowadays you can never trust them, why?”
He asked me.
“I was told her ancestors don’t approve of me knowing of my wife’s status imagine yet they approve of her to go see an Indian doctor!”
I said sarcastically.
“Whoa mate that’s not cool! If you have problem with your wife don’t come and fight it here! That’s low!”
He said turning on me.
I asked him.
“No mate that’s childish! She is standing right there, you tell her at home what the problem is and not drag her to your mates place to embarrass her!”
He advised me crossing his hands across his chest.
“I just wanted her to hear about it from someone else because to her every time I bring it up it’s like I am picking a fight. I still have not seen a single paper from the gynae and if she was pregnant how come she is not tired and all that shit that come with pregnancy?”
I asked her or him I am not sure.
“Dude you are a moron! Unless you have been pregnant before you don’t know how a person’s body will react! Come on now mate you are smarter than that!”
He said mocking me. He was right too and still she had not said anything. She started crying instead.
“I would like to go home now please!”
She asked me.
“Why? I told you I had something to do here and you came anyway. We haven’t even started and you already want to leave!”
I said annoyed at her. I was not doing it on purpose. I was angry at her and this anger was making me be mean. I just wanted her to leave me alone. I don’t know if it was because of the guilt I had for sleeping with Naledi or the empowerment it had given me that I can walk away from Londiwe why I was doing this. You see it with women who are in relationships they don’t want anymore, the moment they cheat and sleep with someone else they feel like they finally have the power to leave. That person they were things just drops in respect and the more they cheat the more they find courage to talk nonsense to him. I felt like that right now but the words were coming out without me thinking it.
“She is right mate! You not in a good state right now! You never talk to Londiwe like this. Take her home we will do this when you are feeling better!”
Tumi advised me. I wanted to argue with him but I realized that it was not going to help anything. I was being a dooshbag and maybe I should go sleep it off. We got out of his place and went to the car, she was sobbing silently and I felt super guilty at this stage. I just don’t know what had gotten into me.
“You know you humiliated me in there right?”
She told me. I knew that very well.
“I know and I am sorry. I don’t know where all this anger is coming from. It’s been building up!”
I told her. It was meant to have been apology but now it was more like an excuse for my actions.
“I see your point about what happened with the gynae. I did not realize that it meant so much to you otherwise I would have foregone the hall traditional thing!”
She told me.
“You know you used to say you loved that the fact that I still kept my traditions intact. You said it made me different from these chappies Joburg Zulu girls you grew up around! Now I do tradition and it’s no longer good enough for you!”
She turned around to look outside the window as she said that. She was right too. Those were things I used to love about her but even traditions have limits. Now our child must die because you can’t go to a doctor? No that does not work for me.
“I think its best we keep quiet so that we don’t argue anymore!”
I told her coldly.
“I think so too!”
She responded without turning back to me. We drove in silence the rest of the way. There would be no round three of sex fortunately and I took the couch yet again. I had a lot to think about. In the morning I had made up my mind.
“I am moving in with my mom!”
I told her. She stood there completely frozen.
“Why? I don’t understand!”
She said when the words finally came out of her mouth.
“We are bad for each other!”
I told her.
“Vusi please don’t say such things? Come on whatever it is we can work it out!”
She pleaded and she was crying.
“Maybe in future. We need some space between us before we kill each other or our baby if you are even pregnant!”
I told her. I stood up and went to the bedroom where I took out my gym bag. I stuffed some clothes in and she came running after me.
“I am pregnant! Why would you even think that?”
She cried at my feet!
“Please Vusi please I am begging you don’t leave me!”
She cried. It was so heart breaking but too much had happened now. Sometimes you just need to breathe.
“I have to go!”
I told her and. I walked out leaving her crying.
I did not intend to come back!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Good morning to all the readers and to you Malume Mike.
I am a 16 year old girl and I am a twin. My sister and I have been fighting a lot lately because I confronted her about sleeping around. She lost her virginity last year and she is already on guy number four. We are identical twins and her reputation is starting to affect me because I am having to fight some of her battles when these peoples girlfriends come to confront me thinking it’s her. Last week Malume two girls wanted to beat me up in the transport saying I had stolen their boyfriend. I am still a virgin and I have never even kissed a guy. A male friend helped me by taking out my school books to show them I am the wrong one. It was so humiliating. In high school when school term ends all the beefs are settled on the last two Fridays. I am scared I am going to get beaten up. My sister does not care about all these things because she has a lot of attitude and she can actually fight. I am so scared. I have told her about her sleeping around but I am also scared of going to report at home. My father has a tendency of punishing us both if one does something wrong. I will also be blamed therefore for what she does if I report. He says we are twins so we must stand together always in good and bad but now I am lost.
I want to help my sister stop what she is doing and I don’t know how.
Please help me.