The problem with fainting is that you don’t always fall right nor graciously like they do in the movies. Nope I literally
slipped down bumping my head on the way day down on the forehead. I can’t remember if it hurt at the moment of impact but I fainted only for a few moments because even in fainting my ancestors would not give me peace. This really was my fate I tell you. I was not out long through because I could hear the devils voice calling from somewhere saying,
“Lungi wake up!”
Oh sorry it wasn’t the devil just Simba waking me up mercilessly, he was not happy at all.
“What’s this? Lungi I am asking you a question!”
He asked me. Again we go back to him believing the cop but this was like being found standing over a dead body holding a bloody knife. It’s easy to say he was weak and blame him for not believing me but here were his things in my house! He really would be dumb not to!
“I … I …”
“I don’t know!”
I really did not know what to say! I did not know what to do at this moment.
“This is bad!”
He said. He put his hands on his waist and stood there in pure and utter shock. The man did not even help me up from the floor. He walked in and was about to touch a small safe that was left there.
“No don’t touch those things. There could be fingerprints on those things!”
I warned him.
“People like this don’t leave fingerprints Lungi! I mean who does such a thing!”
I was impressed by the packing skills of whoever had done this because it was even neater than my house when it was neat. I would like to believe that it had taken these people less than two hours to do this but the balls on this people, hawema!
“Still, we should not! I know you think I am criminal right now but I have nothing to do with this. What would I gain from robbing you; I just got paid for crying out loud!”
I told him.
“At what point did I accuse you? I never said anything towards that or of that nature! It does look bad though and maybe calling the cops would not be wise at this stage as you will definitely go to jail!”
He said dismissively and did not even bother to turn. I was still sitting on the floor at this stage and I was crying. The tears came out on their own because I am sure even my very body was in shock at this stage. The place where I had bumped my head when I fell was already swollen meaning the moment when Mbuso walked in what he saw was a crying woman on the floor crying with a swollen face.
“What the fuck? Did you hit her?”
He shouted storming in. Firstly he had showed up like those FNB ‘Where did he come from’ adverts meaning out of nowhere and secondly the way he shouted as he strode past me startled me be it for a seconds. A second is all it needed though,
“We don’t fucken hit women you arsehole!”
Mbuso shouted and next thing he was throwing punches. It happened as fast as I jumped up to stop the fight.
“No Mbuso, he didn’t hit me! He did not hit me! Muyekele maan leave him alone he did not hit me!”
I screamed. This is the suburbs ok and in the suburbs there is always some over eager neighbour who can call the cops on you and Mbuso was right, I did not want police right now without a plan.
“I did not hit her you fool, what kind of an animal do you think I am!”
Simba asked Mbuso when he finally managed to push him off. It took both of them a while to calm down as all that adrenalin was clearly pumping.
“Did you call the cops?”
I asked Mbuso as the blue lights approached. What the hell?
“No I did not.”
“I should have though. I tried to call you in the afternoon but you switched off the phone on me. Why did you do that?”
Oh so that’s why he was calling. I did not owe him answers anyway.
“Who owns all this stuff Lungi? What is going on?”
Mbuso asked again starting to annoy.
“It’s his stuff and it’s a long story!”
I said looking at the cop car as it parked right in front of my apartment and out stepped one of the cops.
I exclaimed to myself. Kante how many hour shifts do these cops work. It wAs the same cop who had been at the crime scene earlier on, the one who told the story of the scam? I just could not believe it.
“How is it possible you are the same cop from two different locations?”
I asked him walking straight at him. I was very surprised indeed that he was here again.
“I think it’s time you get to know me because clearly I am not going away!”
He said to me.
“I am not interested in your name.”
I dismissed him and he laughed. I don’t know why I was being cheeky at him but I was.
“How did you get here so fast because we did not call the cops yet?”
I asked him.
“I told you before that we are chasing after a syndicate. When you left I had you followed because I knew you were up to something! Your story was too convenient. Look now we are here and what do we find? I trusted my instinct and there is no way I am not getting a promotion after this!”
He made a slight whistle to emphasize all this property. It was right there and yes he was right, if they did not promote him after this it would be nepotism.
“You are coming with us!”
The policeman said to me.
“Like hell I am. I did not steal his things and he is here to prove that I did not steal his things!”
I told him again.
“Simba tell him!”
I said turning to Simba. I did not want to be arrested again.
“She did not steal it officer. Come on who will be dumb enough to steal and come stash everything in their house. I have been here many times so why would she bring it here knowing that I come through. Even now I was coming to sleep!”
Simba said. He did not have to mention the sleeping part though especially in front of Mbuso who just shook his head.
“Well sir that’s not for you to decide because like I said its part of a bigger investigation now. If you stand in our way I could summarize this as you trying to commit insurance fraud!”
He told Simba, of which even Mbuso stepped in and said,
“Ah really? Insurance fraud how?”
“Simple, they planned it together; he pretended that his things were stolen so that he could claim from the insurance knowing truly well that they are at his partner in crimes house! They get the money back from insurance, his property goes back to his house and they share the money!”
I think at that moment all three of us stood there in awe. The way this man was so creative in his scenario’s he deserved to have his own blog and give Diary of a Zulu Girl a run for its money ah!
“You are joking right? Did you just come up with that right now or let me guess, it’s another scam you have seen?”
I asked him sarcastically.
“Mock me all you want but you are coming with us tonight!”
He said taking out his handcuffs.
“No take me instead. I will say I did it and besides I don’t have a place to sleep tonight the cell will do just fine!”
Simba said being heroic it at last. A man who was willing to sleep in jail for me now that’s romantic. Yeah so what it’s not a man willing to take a bullet for me but it’s the same right.
“No don’t be silly it’s my problem. You work on getting me out!”
I told him. I was going to have to face this sooner rather than later right.
“Mbuso please call Nthabiseng for me. Her number is in my phone and also on the diary by the bedside if you can find it with all this mess.”
I said striding out head throbbing as the swelling was getting worse. I now had this massive headache added to this stress I was going through.
“So Mr. Hero must I arrest you or not?”
The cop said asked Simba again. I gave him that black parent eye, which says don’t you dare and he responded saying,
“No its fine!”
I was impressed with the eye then because it had worked. I was my mother’s child after all. The cops placed handcuffs on me and they were cold. This was embarrassing.
“I told you I suspected you from the moment we got to his house and finally now I got my man or woman! You will tell us everyone else in your syndicate!”
The cop said as we walked out, him holding me from behind. His partner was standing by the car and had not even bothered to enter. I guess it was obvious what was going to happen. I wanted to faint again but honestly I did not even have the energy to do so. Now I had to worry about calling Mbilahelo again to come to the rescue. Would he even come with the way he had stormed out earlier? These were the thoughts going through my head when the cop’s phone rang. His ring tone was,
But there was no ratchet dancing for me at the moment just fear and panic.
“Yes sir we have her!”
He said on the phone. Was he already reporting to his superiors? This syndicate must have been really wanted.
“Here I have a phone call for you!”
The cop said as soon as we drove out of my estate.
“Did you see what I can do?”
The voice asked me.
“Sorry who is this?”
I asked him.
“It’s Pinky Pinky!”
The person said. They thought they were funny neh. Pinky Pinky is like an urban horror legend and was a horror movie back in the day. I remember my sister and I had been traumatized for days after Miriam had made us watch it one day at a sleep over by her house.
“That’s not funny who is this?”
I told the voice.
“You know who it is. Where is Azwindini? I have been nice so far but I am losing my patience playing games with you like this!”
It was Mthobisi. My heart sank. I just felt a cold breeze enter.
“I don’t know where he is! How am I supposed to know that?”
I asked him absolutely terrified. If I had not pee’d at Simba’s house I would have done so on myself right now.
“The problem is you insist on lying. I have no quarrel with you just that you have something I want. I don’t kill women and children but right now I am willing to make an exception. I will ask you one more time and think carefully when you answer this…”
He said and posed for a moment before he asked again,
“Where is Azwindini?”
He did not have to pose but because he had, his threat was even more menacing.
“I, I really don’t know!”
The driver’s phone rang. How many phones did this guy have?
He said. Something was said and the driver clicked his phone.
“You are on speaker now!”
“Good! I gave you a chance Lungi, you didn’t listen. Mzala, take her to the spot and shoot her in the head.”
He said very coldly. I cried out loud immediately.
“I don’t know where he is, please!”
“Her body must not be found.”
The phone clicked and the cop said,
“Wow that went south really fast!”
And immediately he off ramped!
He did not seem bothered at all that he was about to kill me. It’s like he had done this before.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
Thank you for the amazing writings. We have really enjoyed. It’s like watching the best TV every morning so thank you.
I have been married to my husband for 10 years and for 10 years I have been unhappy. I don’t know how to explain it. I never thought my life would be this boring. He is a good man but he is very quiet and conservative. His idea of us going out is hiking or going to see animals at a game reserve. I am not an outdoor person and no matter how often I say this to him he still insists. He does not have friends and is home every day by 6 pm. We never go on holiday and even the kids complain that the only time we go somewhere is to go visit his parents. He is very strict for no reason and its killing our marriage. Recently at work a new girl came to my work place. She is a lesbian. I was tasked with helping her settle in as we from the same home town. My husband freaked out so much so he was talking divorce. He actually thought I could cheat on him with a woman? How does he feel insecure with a woman knowing I have never ever been with one? I don’t have male friends at all and the female friends I have can only come to my house I can’t go to them because he is uncomfortable. I have often thought of leaving him but we have two beautiful kids to rise. How do I turn my life around without having to divorce this man? He is not abusive he is just miserable and his misery is drowning this marriage.
Please help my marriage.