You know there are women who will shame a man for cumming too quickly. I had a friend who dated a guy and a week into dating
they slept together for the first time. The guy did not last a minute. The following day they tried again and same thing happened. She dumped the guy. When he tried to get her back she put him on blast and made him a joke amongst all of us at university. I was younger then and of course I was part of the crew that used to laugh at him every time he passed. These things happen of course but for some reason its humiliating when a man does that yet when a woman is dry and can’t have sex it’s so tragic and we all need to support and help her find solutions. Those are some of societal double standards. I had a question though? Was it because he knew he cums so fast the reason why he wanted us to first get married before we had sex? This way it would be too late to turn back? Mmmm questions I tell you. Secondly was this the reason why he was single. He was a hot guy with money yet he had no leeches falling over him? It would make sense if that was the case. Lastly, ok fine I started off with one question but now am on a roll, how could I help him? I am very certain something like this worked on his self esteem on some level surely. These were all questions for later because for now my typical woman kicked in shem as I wanted to laugh but the way I was so disappointed in him I just lost all the energy to do so just made me shake my head.
“Dude you can’t be serious! After all that work you pull that stunt?”
I said taking off his blindfold so he could see my disappointment in my face.
“Oops! That definitely was not supposed to happen I am so sorry. I don’t even know where to look!”
He said looking like a kid who had been caught doing something he should not be doing. He seemed genuinely disappointed in himself as well and probably more than I was.
“If I was a nicer person I would leave you tied up on that chair until you make it up to me!”
I said making that ‘tse’ click with my mouth. I was genuinely annoyed because there is no woman in the world who wants a man that can control himself.
“I am sorry I haven’t had sex in a very long time! Maybe it was the over excitement you know I don’t know but regardless I am so sorry. Please don’t judge me on this!”
He explained but I was not interested. I buttoned up my shirt quickly and I untied him.
“Who said anything about judging? It’s what to do with you now that’s bothering me and you should be bothered because you are tied down to a chair and I can get up and leave right now!”
I told him cheekily. I saw the horror on his face as I said that. My words were hitting home. I guess being tied to a chair was not the smartest thing after all big guy.
“All I can do is apologize! Are you really that angry? I can’t tell?”
He asked me. I rolled my eyes and him and made my way to the bathroom. I needed a shower.
“Lungi please answer!”
He asked me. I walked away towards the bathroom and he sat there still tied down. Ok I was not that mean. The aim was not to humiliate him after all.
“I am untying you then I am going to bath. Go clean up the mess we left there. After that little stunt you pulled I won’t do it for you!”
I told him. I was just lazy to clean up after myself and did not feel like washing dishes.
He said genuinely relieved. I heard him cleaning up as I ran my bath. The shower was not an option considering that he had such a big tub and all the oils you can imagine. I was going to enjoy this.
“Lungi is everything ok in there?”
He asked from outside the door forty five minutes later after I had gone quiet. Goodness I had even forgotten I was in water hey.
“I am done!”
I shouted out to him. I really did not want to go home tonight but I was not going to sell myself short either by sleeping with him. He had had his chance and now I had my excuse.
“That’s a nice bath you have there! What are we watching tonight?”
I asked him. I had wrapped my hair in a towel to make it clear I was not going anywhere and when he saw this he smiled.
“I have a lot of movies. My brother is like a true pirate and he brings me things to watch! What are you in the mood for?”
He asked me.
“I don’t like romantic comedies because they lie. All white women in them have to cheat on their partners to find love then it should be alright with us that she broke another person’s heart in the name of love. That’s not for me!”
I explained and he shook his head saying,
“I never thought of it like that and you are right hey. That’s the basis of most of the successful romantic movies! It’s amazing what amount of garbage they show us and we gobble it up! If it was black man in South Africa cheating on a woman and that woman ending up with him we will all be saying karma must come bite them in the ass!”
He said sitting down giving me the TV remote.
“Did you just use the word gobble in a sentence? What are you … Five?”
I asked him laughing.
“It’s just a word come on hey! Can I say something please?”
He asked me and before I could even answer he went on to say,
“I am so glad you came today. I really did not know how else to invite you over!”
That was very sweet of him. I was not going to be rude to him even after the little stunt he had pulled and I smiled back saying,
“I am glad I came too. Thanks for dinner!”
I said to him. We watched series actually not movies and I found that we liked the same things. I found myself laughing at the same team he laughed at.
“I needed you advice on something important!”
I finally told him my real reason for coming here. He was smarter than me, ok maybe slightly but his advice on this was more than me I suppose.
He told me.
“With the payout from my old company what should I do with it?”
I asked him casually. I did not want to do what most women do when they act like they are totally clueless and man act like they know it all.
“Well my first question is are you paying a bond?”
He asked me.
“Yes I am. I am 2 years into a 20 year stint. It feels like a fucken long time!”
I told him and he squirmed a bit.
I asked him.
“Please don’t curse when you talk. It’s degrading. There are many other words you could have used for that not that!”
He looked at me when I said that. He was not joking.
“Ok sorry I did not know!”
I said a bit sarcastic but he did not budge. It meant something to him then.
“Anyway, I estimate your apartment is roughly about a million rand and your bond is 10% of that meaning you are paying r10 000 a month for 20 years working out to a total repayment of r2400000. It’s crazy right?”
He asked me and I nodded my head. Its moments like this that I realize that the ANC fucked up by not going after the banks. EFF is right; the reason why black people are poor and have no shelter is the banks. Imagine you pay the same bank r15000 a month for 7 years for a million rand car but for a house they want you to pay for 20 years. The really oppressors therefore are not the farmers who own land but the banks who give you the money to buy that land from them.
“It is but I need shelter right!”
I reminded him.
“Yeah I know you do. I assume your money will be in millions so you take 1million and pay the settlement amount. Kill that debt first. The apartment is now fully yours. You can even move out to a new place and rent it out. You will be collecting about r6k a month on rental.”
He explained but immediately I shut him down.
“After paying a million bucks for it rent for r6k come on Simba that’s so little!”
I protested. I would charge 10k pshhhh! He laughed.
“Funny enough it’s what everyone thinks but it’s not true. In three years your property will be worth at least 200k more. That means your profit on it alone is 200k. 3 years of rent at r6k is that would calculate to what, r244k. You add those two together and literally in 3 years you have almost made a quarter of your investment back as profit.”
He explained. This might be basic arithmetic but the way he was calculating all these numbers with his head made me appreciate how smart he really. I really love men with a brain hey. Knowledge is sexy and if Kaizer Chiefs is all you can talk about then ah I don’t know.
“Ok cool I get you and I think that’s wise too but you talking about me renting it out where will I stay?”
I asked him laughing not at him but at my own greed as I could already see that big profit.
“With me of course dwee!”
He said without even hesitating. We were not even dating but his dogged determination was quite something. He really was convinced we would end up together.
“Anyway moving on, with the other money you invest in unit trusts so as to make sure you can get a monthly allowance on it and if it’s a lot of money leave another million for aggressive investment.”
“What is that?”
“A business you wake up to do every morning. You make sure you always keep busy that way you grow as a person. Don’t get millions and sleep on it!”
“Oh that’s covered my friend and I want to get into the hair business!”
I told him. I explained to him what we had seen in Roodeport and the lines etc. He stared at me blankly as I went on and on about it.
“You are quiet!”
I said at the end of it all.
“I know. I am sorry but I don’t support you selling hair. You must have pride in your intellect there are better things you can do with it!”
He told me extremely annoyed and dismissive about it.
“You are joking right?”
I asked him.
“No I am not. You have a brain that can change the world and you want to use it to sell hair? Next you will be saying you want to open a flea market because you saw a lot of people on Small Street!”
Says the man who could not even keep his dick up for 30seconds!
***********The End *************
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
Thank you for reading my letter and good morning to all the readers.
In 2015 I was dating a 30 year old guy. At the time I was 17. I met him at a party hosted by a friend from church and we hit it off. He was cousins with the girl hosting who happens to be one of my closest friends. The guy was smart and funny and yes much older but I was happy with him. He never treated me like a kid and if anything he asked for my opinion on every decision he took for us. He never ever bullied me. My parents found out and I got the hiding of my life from my mother. She accused me of prostitution and it was my dad who intervened and told her that if she ever hit me again he will hit her and end up in jail protecting me. The house was tense but we moved on. My parents have always had problems so let me not make them sound like saints. My dad cheated on my mum and has a kid with another woman. They work well together though and hardly fight. About two months ago my mother’s spirits just changed. She was happier and started dressing better. My mother is 44. She asked me to clean her phone her and create space. As a daughter and a curious I went through her whatsapp. I found out she is having an affair and guess with who, my ex the one she beat me up for! I was so mad. I confronted her and she told me to go report to my father if I want because she was having the time of her life. I confronted him (my ex) and he said that things just happened. When my mother went to confront him about us one thing led to the other. I feel betrayed by my mother and right now I really hate her. It’s not some teenage mother daughter hatred but the way she beat me up for this guy I swear she didn’t show me love. I told the guy I am older now so now I am sleeping him again. I want to go show my mother the texts he sends me because it’s going to break her bitching heart. I don’t even love him but to punish her I will do it in her face!
Am I being childish?