Young Employed and Single

YES 152

Don’t believe in all this stuff of love at first site that has been drilled into us by white people over time. It’s

part of the reason why most of you now sit crying how many are trash when the problem is sometimes you do not take enough time to know who a person is before jumping into bed with them and calling him Bae! Are you that desperate to be loved that after knowing someone for two days you go around saying you have a man? No ladies! A man can surprise you with how he develops in front of you and often it’s not in your favour. Look at Mbilahelo, he might not have been my type but surely this Henry Cele look alike was turning from ugly darkling to swan in front of me. He had really saved us but looking back I was too blind to see it. Eish pride is a bad thing!

“Lungi wait please!”

He asked me. He had followed me out of the room in front of all these people.

“You can’t wait the whole police station wait just so you can talk to me!”

I told him when he got to me.

“Lungi doesn’t be mean talk to the man so we can go!”

Miriam chirped in like she always does. This woman really has no brakes. Her big mouth is what had allowed Mthobisi into my place in the first place. I would never have invited a stranger in no matter what.

“Thank you maam!”

Mbilahelo thanked her in the politest way. She did not respond and instead walked away from us. She went and sat in the visiting area.

“How do I get my car keys back?”

I asked him.

“I actually don’t know hey but I will ask someone. Just wait here!”

He asked me and he went back to where we had come from. He came back two minutes later and said,

“Someone has been sent to release the car. You will have to inspect the car though just in case anything is missing?”

Konje this is South Africa where even with the police you expect to be robbed. I have always wondered what happens at accident scenes and the police find one of the victims of the accident with money. Do they take it or give it back to the family? That’s how misguided the moral campus of our police is.

“Ok thank you. What do you want?”

I said angrily at him.

“I think I deserve that. I really am sorry for my brother and what he brought to your doorstep. I promise I will fix it and you will never here from us again.”

He told me.

“Thank you!”

I said coldly. When you are angry you tend to say things you don’t mean and often that anger clouds your judgment.

“I have to get back to work now and will update you when I can on what happens next. I can assure he won’t come after you if he knows what’s good for him!”

He said reassuring me. With one look of regret he took one step back and disappeared back into the rooms. I stood there for a moment longer I don’t know what thoughts were going through me but I just stood. I then turned and walked to join Miriam.

“Sorry about that!”

I apologized to Miriam when I got back to her. She was sitting there looking lost Shem.

“It’s ok. Did you remember to ask for the keys?”

She asked me.

“Yes. He went to go get someone to bring the car around. They park the cars somewhere else I think!”

I told her. I could not help but feel sorry for her.

“So are you going to tell Bongani about your adventure today? He will never allow you to come visit me again!”

I asked and told her at the same time.

“I don’t need anyone’s permission to go where I want and no I won’t tell him. Besides this probably all the action I am going to get for the rest of year!”

She said and there was something in her voice that betrayed her sadness in that admission. She was not a happy camper clearly.

“Is there something you want to tell me Miriam? I thought marital life was bliss and you are having the time of your life?”

I asked her.

“It has its moments but now is not the time for this conversation the walls have ears!”

She said. There were people in the waiting area which I guess was good enough an excuse.

“Sorry to pry but just know if ever you want to talk to you know I am there!”

I told her. She did not respond to that.


I told her when they finally gave me the keys to my car. I had waited there 30 minutes for them to hand the damn thing over. I just wanted to leave this den of thieves because Mbilahelo had been right in asking who had allowed Mthobisi to the back. It’s not just in the movies clearly where the police work with criminals.

“It’s a good thing we had a friend in here otherwise we would be sitting with funny people right now. Imagine having a big mama asking you to sit on their lap Shem!”

She said to me in what was obviously a joke. I did not want to laugh but there was a way in which Miriam could cajole you. I found myself laughing.

“Eish imagine. I am angry at Mbilahelo and Azwindini though because they almost ruined our lives!”

I told her and she surprised me when she asked,

“But why are you angry at Mbilahelo? He saved our asses back there! It’s his shit brother that we should be angry at!”

She reminded me. To me he was guilty by association so I was not about to forgive him on the word of my friend.

“Well he is just as guilty to me as far as I am concerned so that’s that!”

I told her.

“I beg to differ. I like a man who is firm and in control and that guy has all that and more. He really is the right man for you because I think with a push over guy you will chew him up and use bones as toothpicks!”

She said and we laughed at that.

“I am not that difficult hey but no he is not my type. He is a policeman and even though he does not wear uniform he is one. At home I will end up paying all the bills because I will earn more and what will happen to his ego and manhood then?”

I asked her. I know people will call me conceited but the reason why women with high jobs don’t often date men with lower jobs is because at some point it gets to your man. If you should ever tell him what to do he will take it as though it’s because of your financial supremacy that makes you talk to him like that. Such men end up trying to put you in your place and more often than thought they will get physical to prove their superiority. This is something I had thought so believe me I was not trying to come across as arrogant and don’t forget police officers carry guns! How many femicide stories have you heard of that involve cops and spouses? I rest my case.

“I don’t know why you don’t grow out of this thing of thinking that you are better than everyone else you meet. That guy is a genuine guy and worthy of getting a call-back from the mighty Lungi!”

Miriam is probably the only person I allow to talk to me like that. She has a way of calling a spade a spade and if it was someone else I would have stopped on the freeway to drop her off there. Now

“I am not saying I am better Miriam I am just not sure it would work. What would we talk about? I don’t want someone who is constantly exposed to violence and much as you are saying I am judging I know most of the guys you have been with and not one of them wore a blue uniform!”

I reminded her and she laughed. Its true I don’t knew her entire army of men but I am certain she never dated a cop.

“Well it’s probably because they never found me attractive like they do you!”

She said in what an obvious diss but we laughed. After the morning we had I think laughter was indeed the best medicine.

“Will you be able to take me home after this? I don’t think I want to hang out with my mother today and she will insist I stay if I come with you!”

She asked me. I had even forgotten the original plan had been to go to my mother’s place to go dig out that will. So much had happened with so little time so wisdom would say I must go home and relax!

“I think I just want to go home now. My mother’s Will can wait for now but yes I would love to take you home since I don’t even know where you stay! You should be ashamed of that you know.”

I told her and she just laughed uncomfortably. When we got to my place instead of throwing caution to the wind considering what had happened I told Miriam,

“Let’s go now before I sit down and get lazy to stand up!”

Drivers will know this feeling very well. If you have been driving and you get in the house and sit down it will be very hard to get up. The car just drains your energy

“Yes let’s and besides today I want to cook Bongani a big meal. Imagine I could be eating prison food right now. I bet you they give them magwinya and milk!”

She said cracking a joke at the expense of where we were earlier.

“Nah this is SA criminals get rewarded I am sure their meals are better than most families out there!”

I corrected her. I was actually quite happy that we were leaving. I took more clothes as I decided there and then that maybe sleeping at home was wiser than sleeping at my place. What if Mthobisi came back? What then?

We drove into an estate and I asked Miriam,

“What are we doing here are we lost?”

It was a very posh expensive estate where even the security as you entered carried guns. Where do you have white security guards at the boom gate?

“I live here. Third house on the left!”

She said. Third house on the left? My eyes immediately darted forward and third house on left was amazing. I want to say this loudly I was humbled. The house was big and definitely expensive. No wonder why she had married a man she clearly did not love Bongani really had done well for himself.

“This is beautiful Miriam!”

I told as I looked at it from the outside.

“Thank you!”

She told me and I could see her sense of pride in it. You know it’s easy to judge promiscuous girls growing but walking into this house made me feel so poor and stupid. I was jealous and proud of her at the same time.

“I want myself a Bongani too! Well done girl!”

I told her.

“What happened to the apartment because last time if I remember well you told me about it?”

When she first got married I recall they had a fight and police got involved. I am very certain she said they had an apartment.

“It was temporary they were painting and something about toxic fumes so we stayed there!”

She explained. I honestly shook my head at this. You see why these girls no longer want to work for their money, its things. You work so hard to end up staying in a tiny apartment where you are paying either enormous bond or rent you choose! Sigh!

“Come inside so I can give you a tour! I don’t think Bongani is home though.”

She said as we walked in eyes wide open at the beauty of this house. I mentioned before how bad being proud is but ah, jealousy is worse. This house was worth millions.

My phone vibrated in my pocket where it was. I pulled it out, opened it and this is what it said,

“FNB R4 325 000 paid from cheq a\c..497309 @ Cell-phone Banking @ Platinum. Ref. Settlement. 24 Aug 15:38”

I almost fainted not because I was excited but it suddenly felt like spare change in this house.


********The End*********

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

You have given us some good times with your stories and thank you for having the patience to continuously produce like this for us.

I am a 37 year old woman who is unlucky in love. Every man I date dumps me soon afterwards. At the beginning I used to think it’s because I give in too quickly and sleep with them but over time I started being stingy with the cookie. One guy we dated four months before we slept together but like the rest he left. I have lost so much self esteem because of this. You can imagine how many guys I have slept with thinking I was in a relationship. I need your advice on what to do. I don’t have a bad body bad personality nor a bad odour. I tried to ask one of the guys what I did wrong and he said it’s because I was high maintenance. I do not ask anything of the man I date because like Lungi I can afford myself. When we go out I used to help with the bill then I stopped doing so because I thought that was the reason and still they left. I am fast reaching 40 and I have no child and nor love in my life. I don’t want this life. What can I do to make myself not intimidating? I have my own house, car, company (its small) and this is what intimidates people. Mind you I have dated from spectrums of life from low earners to rich guys yet all left me. I really don’t know what it is please help me.

Thank You


37 thoughts on “YES 152

  1. Dear lonely. Four months is not being strict with cookie and maybe you come across as a hopeless romantic or maybe dudes see the way you need a relationship like yesterday. Guys can tell this things. I think at your age you might have done everything on Cupid’s book. Maybe its time to take a break and let things be. Pray to God, he is the one who gives. And if God still thinks you need to wait, then pray for strength as you wait. I know a lady who wasn’t married her whole life until she was 45 years old. She didn’t have kids but at age 45 she got married to a man with 8 children. She went from being mocked for not being married to having a family with 8 grown children who love her dearly.
    So dear lonely, keep praying and waiting. God’s time has no limit. In the meantime, don’t make being in a relationship such a need that men can see it from miles. You are worthy, you are loved. God bless and all.the best

  2. Oh Lungi, beware the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meet it feeds on.

    Lonely, i’m in your same situation but i’m 28. I worry that this is it for me because I’ve actually decided to stop trying. I wish you luck and happiness within yourself though.

    1. good work bra mike. lonely ur situation requares african intervention go to any african church zcc or mapostola ect or consult sangoma reason be it might your past from parents wch ancestors are not happy with something or parents dd not do thus affecting u or someone has cast a spell on u that u never have a relationship or family of your own. reason i pointed this is because of your age wise n from my own personal experience

  3. Lonely, stop looking. They left coz they were not for you. Do you, the right kind of guy will come when you least expect it. you can go on dates, have a sex partner for your needs( dont catch feelings), but dont go looking for a relationship, it will come to u

  4. Lungi really think she is all that, she is arrogant. She use to look down on marium. And marium never use to show off. Yoh I wonder what the ancestors will think about the money deposited on Lungi’s account. Remember her aunt worn her and asked her not to take the money. Thanx mike.

  5. At lonely, it’s so hard to find a man, I’m on the same boat as you. You are not the only one shame. There is a lot of us out there. I wish I can get my own Mbilahelo like Lungi*

  6. Hi Lonely,

    this may sound cliche, however God’s time is the best and he blesses you when you least expect it. I have been on this blog from the very beginning and I was never shy to mention the difficulties of relationship I experienced in my comments( I am in my late 20s). I have also had my fair share of failed relationships and at times I felt that I would probably die lonely.

    I however I told myself that I would never lose hope in love or in the Lord that I serve for he knows my needs before I even kneel to ask him what to bestow upon my life.

    I met my fiance (Yes Fiance) this year and I didn’t like him when I first laid my eyes on him ( his skinny and I have never been attracted to skinny mean), we met at a garage both getting fuel and I refused to give him my number until a petrol attendant literally begged me on his behalf , and as they say the rest is history.

    He paid Lobola on the 29th July and I am one of the happiest woman alive. Anyway what I am trying to tell you Ausi kegore wait upon the Lord, and he will reward you with your life’s desires IN HIS TIME.

    Look at Leleti Khumalo, for years she was in an abusive relationship with Mbongeni Ngema and she was unhappy and childless . Got out ofthat toxic marriage and remarried and had kids in her 40s because God’s delay is not his denial.

    Kgotlelelo etlisha katlego Samma.


    1. Congrats on your engagement hey 🙂 woow…I remember we were in the same boat od single women and at some point people were posting letters dating two men …and we would be like….” Where on earth are ya’ll getting these dudes” lmao ….

      1. @ Pillz thank you, God answers ONLY in his time. We just need to be patient and continue living in hope.

  7. Lungi though!
    Lonely take some time out dont jump from 1 relationship to another, Love will find you….Good luck dear

  8. I loved today’s chapter. Simply because it highlights what we struggle with every day: jealousy and constantly comparing ourselves with our friends. The green eyed monster in our hearts that is ever so present, whether we think we are better or expect life to be fair because of our righteous decisions or holding ourselves in a superior esteem, or simply expecting life to be kind and giving because we have been kind and giving. But we forget that the rules we adhere to are society’s and not necessarily that of universe’s or life’s. It’s a hard thing to admit when this monster visits and it makes one question themselves, but we must be weary of it. Weary because at times it can turn from natural jealousy to ukuthakatha, buloyi, when we start wishing others bad because we are jealous or not wishing them good because of what we lack thinking it is unfair. We are all on our own paths. Respect it and live it to the best of your ability, jealousy comes, but make sure it does not stay. Life owes us nothing.

    Lonely, I feel you girl. I will not speak for the men out there, but I will say this. Get to know yourself, like brutally know your self, you flaws, you strengths, weaknesses, assets, even the things you do not want to admit about yourself. Once you do this, I think you will see what the problem is with you, because in all these men you are the denominator. Not to say that they are great but maybe in knowing yourself you will see that maybe it’s your choice of men that are a problem, maybe you choose assholes . You have nothing to lose but you gain yourself in this. Also maybe stop looking, your man could be the guy who you have never even looked at as a potential bae or he could be not. All the best, and always use protection

  9. Envy is bad,appreciate what you have Lungi, if we can learn to stop looking down to others we won’t end up like Lungi. Some end up being jealous and start bewitching people.

    Lonely I’ve been into your shoes until recently and got help from church. Sometimes you find that you have a spiritual husband that chases the men away. Is a sad thing to be lonely or being played knowingly for fearing to be alone. If you need my help you know what to do. Get help ASAP some things need urgent attention,my mother didn’t get help and she’s growing old alone and lonely.

  10. Lonely stop looking. Take a break. Fall in love with u along the way u will realise that those who left u did u a favour. Am happily single been 3yrs now i ve been hurt badly i took time out started building myself coz i realised along the journey of searching for love i neglected me myself n i! I still believe in love but i refused to compromise myself for losers when i meet a guy who has 70%of qualities i want i pray about n ask God to show me if he is the one or passerby so far not the ones so i dont mind waiting.

  11. Miss T please explain what is a spiritual husband maybe I also have that because I can’t my Mr perfect maybe if I explore that I will get answers and get and keep a man

    1. Hi dear,I don’t know how to explain it well. Some people will dream sleeping with men in or women,some can even feel their presence around them. Then in that case is not easy to have a partner as those spirit chase them away. Most people take this as just dreams, but in reality is the problem.

      Men will walk out of your life for no apparent reason , some will tell you they love you but can’t be with you and they don’t know why. I tried my best to explain for further information get my email address then I’ll give you my contact to talk further

      1. Miss T, can I have your email address please. I do experience this every now and then. And, i didnt take it serious until inyanga mentioned it to my mother.

      1. Eish Ms T I experience that a lot. I will dream of this man and we loving each other so much and when i wake up I have a vivid imagination of how he looks like. And I always wondered where are all these men who love me so much in my dreams. I think I also need to talk with u further abt this

  12. Dear Lonely

    The problem might be you want a relationship so bad, you probably have it all planned, forgetting it takes two to make it work, try taking a backseat and just enjoy being you, love you and when men see that in you they will not only do the chasing but the keeping as well.

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