My starting point, if anyone ever tells you that marriage is easy or meant to be easy they are plain delusional. I
want you to consider all the temptation in today’s world as well as the pressures that stop you from over committing to any person. Look at Shaun the stylist? That guy will always be a reference point because he thought he did everything right. The marriage our parents had and enjoyed is not the marriage you should expect today and tomorrow. That’s the bottom line. Women will be quick to tell you how childish or immature Londiwe is but is she really in a world where people will lose their morals for money? How many women have dropped their panties simply because the other man had more money than the one they had for whatever reason? I rest my case. When Londiwe mentioned the baby my first instinct was not on how she was so selfish but how she had all the power to terminate the pregnancy. I went after her,
“Londiwe what are you saying vele? Are you saying that the baby is at risk if you and I are not together?”
I asked her just outside my room.
“I don’t have the money to raise a baby and I can also honestly say that if I don’t have your support I don’t want a baby alone! I have seen so many people suffer and who wants a baby in a loveless engagement!””
She said to me and much as I wanted to shun her for that statement it made sense. I don’t believe in men who abandon their babies the moment they are born and truth be told a lot of men do that. I have so called friend who boast when they pay maintenance not knowing that over and above that money his love counts. Being there for your child is priceless.
“Like I said I am going home! I have already whatsapped you the address since I doubt you will remember the way. I have done nothing wrong in all this and Simon should not even be someone you are threatened by if you loved me because you know no matter what I am for you. I can’t believe you could even allow doubt to creep in because I work hard for us!”
I had not even gotten a chance to counter react to what was happening.
“I am not going to follow you to your mother’s house. I did not come here for that. If you think that’s the best way to fix that then you do that. In 2 hours after I have rested a bit more I am driving to Jhb. If you are not in the car with me when I drive back then don’t come back!”
I told her and I turned back into my room. She got into her cab and it drove off but oh well that was her not me. I had said my piece. No woman in their right mind would abort a child when they are married right? I walked into the room and put both hands on my head. I was worried. This is not what I wanted in my marriage. My phone rang and it was my mother.
I said by way of greeting.
“What kind of greeting is Yes Mom, greet me properly!”
She said snapping at me.
“Good morning mom!”
I said. I was not about to argue with her. I had done my one argument for the day so I was good.
“That’s better, good morning!”
She responded probably feeling chuffed about herself because I had corrected myself.
“I wanted to come over and see you later today. How are you feeling? Is the headache gone?”
She asked me. Headache? I had even forgotten about the attack with the way I had been focused on Londiwe. I subconsciously touched the place where I had been hit on my head as I responded,
“I am fine don’t worry.”
I told her.
“Where is Londiwe? I have been trying to get hold of her. They want her to come in and do some stuff don’t know what?”
She asked me. Crap! I had also forgotten about that.
“She will call them back she is out on an errand and left her phone and I will see you much later today as I am also busy!”
I lied to her. Lying to my mother was an everyday thing because she was nosey so I always came up with excuses. I doubt very much I am the first child to lie to their parent and by the looks of it I will not be the last.
“Ok then. I had to pull some strings to get her this job so please make sure she calls!”
My mother reminded me before she hung up. I kind of got what Londiwe meant that now my mother would remind us every day that she had helped get her a job but oh well, we can’t always have things our way. I had given Londiwe a 2 hour ultimatum. I checked out of the room packed the car, not that there was a lot to pack and got ready to leave. I was going to leave here I was not joking. As I drove out of the hotel parking my phone rang. It was her.
“Please stop I am being you.”
She was indeed. A white taxi that had driven in. I waited for her to come out of it and get into the car with me.
“So you were really going to leave me behind?”
She asked me not out of anger but more out of disbelief.
I responded and drove out. She was crying but Woman’s Month or not I was not going to dry those tears off for her. When a woman behaves like this does it still mean as a man I am trash for bringing those tears out of her? I don’t think so!
“So you came?”
I said to her an hour into the drive. We had not said anything to each other for that long. Someone had to break the silence because at some point it becomes awkward.
“What choice did you leave me? I obviously want to save us because I love but you are too busy feeling intimidated by other men!”
She said and ouch! No man wants to be told he is intimidated by other men as it works on our ego!
“That’s not how it is? He does not intimidate ok! I don’t get why he is still allowed to call you! It’s not your choice yes that he calls but you can block!”
I reminded her.
“I already did and I am sorry. You are so insecure it’s not sexy. Be my man and know that I am here for you no one else!”
She screamed as though I was not sitting next to her. I had heard her already.
“Why are you making a scene? I am driving and you are going to run us into the bush!”
I asked her.
“You can’t make a scene if there is no one to see you! A scene is made in front of people even I know that!”
She said cheekily.
“Oh now you have been with me long enough to know English!”
I said to her and she went red. I had insulted her with that line because well Jozini is not known for its English speakers now is it. People in small towns work twice as hard to fit in when they come to Joburg and Londiwe was no different. She thought speaking with a twang made her a better person when reality is in Joburg it makes you get robbed faster!
“I don’t want to talk to you. Please just drive!”
She said. I wanted to scream and shout even further but the silent drive was the best for us right now. My phone was connected to the car and next thing it rang. It was the first phone call I had had all day. I checked the caller I.D. And I did not recognize it.
I said when I picked up the phone.
“Hi love! It’s me!”
A female voice said cheerfully. Immediately Londiwe sat up, folder her arms and looked at me.
“Hey Naledi. I can’t talk right now I am driving from Jozini with the wife what’s up?”
I asked her. I had to make sure I mentioned who I was with so that she would not say anything silly.
“Oh then we can talk later but we need to meet on that proposal it’s urgent!”
“Ok cool will give you a shout when I get back!”
I said that knowing that I was already in trouble.
She said and hung up.
“Who was that?”
Londiwe asked me as soon as I hung up the phone. This is a lesson people should learn in life. No matter how innocent you are sometimes connecting you phone to the car will get you into lots of trouble.
“She is part of the project that I wanted you to attend the meeting with at my mother’s house! You refused to come as usual!”
I told her making sure she knew that she could have been there.
“And she calls you love? How is that even normal?”
She asked me.
“Come on you know all these women nowadays, its either love or dear or something weird like that! You can’t sure feel threatened by a word!”
I told her but she was not hearing any of that.
“I am not stupid. The way she said it’s me means that she already knew that you would know it was her!”
“What exactly are you accusing me off?”
I asked her.
“Even Simon doesn’t call me love! He knows I will cut out his tongue if he does so what gives this woman that right! You are a married man and women call you that!”
She said angrily. This was not going to end well.
“Ok then let’s see…”
I said as I dialled her number.
“What are you doing?”
She asked me as the phone made a loud ringing sound in the car.
“Isn’t you don’t believe what I am telling so I am calling her!”
I told her. I was not being dumb I know for a fact women don’t like to be proven wrong in front of another woman. It embarrasses them just as much. I was also hoping that Naledi won’t say anything stupid.
“Stop being childish. Hang up the phone!”
She said. I did that and immediately switched off the phone for fear that she might call back since I had buzzed her.
“I just want you to know that if it were me getting a call from someone who was calling me ‘love’ it would not end well.”
She said as she looked out all the trees darting in the opposite direction as we drove home. I did not feel guilty and for the first time I did not feel like going to tell off Naledi to back off.
Was this the turning point?
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Great work you’re doing, truly gifted
I’m 30 and I dated this guy through out tertiary till last year beginning of the year (on and off), I loved this guy with my soul. He broke up with me only to find out he had started dating someone else at the time, the guy was head over heel in love, they were all over social media so you can imagine how I felt. So late last year he was involved in an accident and passed away, I found out about his death on facebook can you imagine. my problem is I am not getting over the whole thing. I still cry for him even today, it breaks my heart that I didn’t get to mourn him properly. I’m not sure how to move past this. When I think of him its just sadness, anger and an overwhelming sense of loss. I’ve tried to move on but it doesn’t feel the same anymore. How do I move on, how do I get closure, even in death I still love him. I want to feel normal again.