YES 136

Posted on Posted in Young Employed and Single

In every family there is this main uncle who thinks he is the boss of everyone. He is treated with respect as the

main patriarch of the extended family. Often he is the wealthiest and has the most powerful hence why people cower in his presence. Everyone bends their will to him and lick his ass. My uncle was that guy in the family. He was a dick and I did not like him one bit.

“I am not being impetuous! My mother just died. She died alone! Where were all of you when she had problems? I remember she once called you asking you to help her with the land the chief gave her. You told her she must do it herself and must move there to look after it. Now you want to stand there and say you were there for her? Are you serious?”

I said standing up to him. You could hear a pin drop at this moment. I am certain the cowards wanted to bury their heads in shame but I was not going to be mellowed by that.

“Come on people, calm down. We are here for the same cause. Fighting amongst each other won’t help anyone. Please let’s use level heads, there is a lot of work to be done.”

One of the uncles said humbly. They could never call out my uncle when he was out of order.

“If it was not your mother’s funeral I would have beaten you up for your insolence!”

My uncle retorted with disdain.

“Hit me? Hit me because I said you can’t take what you did not work for? Are you serious? You still hit women in this day and age? Shame on you Malume you are supposed to be our guide but you are just as bad!”

I said looking him straight in the eye. I can testify to this, being a girl child in some families is a burden on the rest of the family or rather they treat you as though you are a burden on the family. My crime, if it was a crime at all was that I had dared to speak up for the property my mother had so painstakingly accumulated over the years. Where was this so called family when my mother cooked and cleaned for white people once upon a time? They must just relax! Now he thinks he can just come and carve out my mother’s things like it’s a piece of chicken.

“Your uncle is right you need to respect him!”

One of my older aunts said.

“No, he is wrong! If my mother wants him to have something it will be there in the Will. What is so difficult to understand about that? It’s a very simple concept!”

I said getting annoyed. I had a temper and I was known to have a temper even by the family.

“But there are rules to be followed and there are things that will have to be shared.”

She said.

“Mancane Sindi, you tell me, how would you feel if your kids are deprived of the things you built for them? Even you will not stand for that!”

I appealed to one of the younger aunts hoping she will see reason. My extended families I haven’t mentioned yet attended Shembe church and were very stuck in its traditions.

“I am not allowed to speak on such matters. This is their meeting!”

The aunt I had appealed to said looking down as though she was scared of her own voice.

“You are on your own on this one I am just following protocol!”

My uncle explained.

“Well I will challenge protocol if I have to. We have not even buried my mother yet and already you are looking for ways to divide us.”

I said standing up. I really could see why I was a thorn in their butts!

“Bhuti she is right, let’s worry about other things first before we reach that. Let us mourn and bury sisi first before we bring up everything else!”

My aunt said. It seemed to calm everyone else down myself included. We discussed the program for the funeral and everything else associated with it. Guess what, not one person contributed anything financial including the uncle who wanted us to share things.

“You need to control your temper Lungi. I get where you are coming from but there is a way these things are addressed.”

My aunt the one who had not backed me up said. Our mothers were first cousins so that made her my aunt. We used to be close but when my mum fought with my uncle we had kind of being excommunicated so she too had stopped talking to us.

“I know but there are rules and none of those rules say we must suffer for someone else’s greed! I can’t be scared of a man who cannot even take care of his own children!”

I said to her defiantly. Men always wonder why women don’t respect them as they used to. Well there is the answer, to be respected you must do things worth respecting! I understand there are places where you pack your education in a drawer and stay in your lane. This is one of them I suppose but I would have had these people been there for my mother. They had virtually become strangers to us over the years so no, I was not going to take this lying down.

“We are not dividing anything! I will get every policeman from here to KwaZulu Natal to arrest anyone who takes anything from this house! That much I guarantee you!”

I told her again so she could go warn him if she wanted to. With that said I was done. I wanted to rest so I went to my room and shut myself in and lay down. It had been an emotional last 24 hours. My sister and aunt were going to do the other things as I was not going to the mortuary and what not. I don’t think I could have survived that. It was dark already when I got a phone call and it was the last person I expected, Mbuso! I must have passed out.

“Hey, I have someone here who wants to talk to you!”

He said. I knew it was Ntheteng so I allowed him to give her the phone.

“Hello Aunty Lungi, I am sorry about your mother. I wish I can come and give you a hug but daddy says funerals are not a place for children!”

She said so sweetly. This child had a way of pulling at your heart strings. I swear you would think that she was being paid to be ultra sweet.

“Thank you so much my little one!”

I told her graciously.

“You are welcome Aunty Lungi. Don’t worry your mother is now with my mother sitting with Jesus!”

You should have seen the tears roll down my eyes at those words. When you love someone and you lose them, tears are an endless fountain. I had no idea I had so many of them though.

“Here is daddy…”

She said giving her father back the phone.

“She insisted on talking to you before she slept,”

He started to explain and before I could respond he said,

“Ntheteng put on your pyjamas and get into bed. I will come read for you just now ok!”

He said to her in between what he was saying. I did not hear her respond but he came back to me instead,

“Sorry about that. I thought I was going to be able to come to you but unfortunately I could not get a baby sitter!”

He explained.

“Its ok, there a lot of people here anyway I would not have been able to give you attention!”

I explained to him.

“Nah it’s not about the attention, sometimes just knowing someone is there to have your back and tell you they got you is more than enough!”

He explained to me. My aunt peaked through the door and called me to come with her. I thanked Mbuso for his kind words and told him that I had to go. Even though I was crying Mbuso had actually managed to make me smile

“I am meeting someone at the gate please come with me!”

My aunt asked me. I don’t think she had noticed I was not the phone when she first called me because that could have made it rather rude had she done so.

“Since when are you scared of walking in the dark by yourself?”

I teased her as we got up to walk out.

“I am not scared but you have been stuck in the house the whole day. You shut yourself like that and it’s not healthy. A lot of people have come and go today whilst you were closed up like that. It’s a funeral, its rude you can’t shit yourself up like that!”

She was advising me when we got to the gate. As we got there Miriam came out of nowhere.

“I thought you were out, I have been in and out of the house all evening where were you?”

She asked me. I had not seen her that’s for sure.

“I fell asleep I was tired. I am up now though don’t worry. Let me just take my aunt to the car then I will be right with you I promise!”

I told her when I noticed that my mother had not stopped with me. She had walked away and was already next to whoever she was meeting. As I approached her I heard her say,

“What happened? I thought your mother was coming. Why did she send you?”

She asked him.

“I am sorry aunty; you know mum can be a headache at times. She received people just as we were about to leave so she sent me to bring the money instead.”

The man said in a deepish voice which was so familiar to me but I did not know how. When I got to them my aunt said,

“Ah ok me wanted her to meet my daughter Lu…”

And my movement made the guy turn to look at who was coming. You should have seen both our jaws drop!

“You? What … I mean how… What do you want?”

I asked him rudely. My aunt looked so confused.

“You two know each other?”

She asked us both and I responded immediately.

“Yeah your friend here tried to arrest me imagine!”

I said angrily and he responded,

“And your daughter refused to go for a drink with me! How is she your daughter though I mean I have known you all my life I would have known this, I am a cop for crying out loud.

He retorted. He actually sounded bemused by it all. He was not happy.

“Mbilahelo she is my sister’s son! It’s her mother’s funeral and your mother was coming to meet her!”

My aunt explained.

“But how do you know his mum?”

I asked her.

“She was my mentor into all these things and she helped me a lot but I swear I did not know that you knew her son or that he would even agree to be sent by his mother! Mbilahelo vele how did you end up coming you never go see your mum”

My aunt explained to me in awe before turning to Mbilahelo.

“I asked to see you because I have been having some bad dreams. I went to see my mother about them and she said the person I am supposed to see is you so when she had guests I volunteered!”

Did he say dreams?

You have got to be kidding me.

This was some trick play I tell you.

Stunned.

***********The End*************

@diaryofazulugal
Mikeatdiary
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Mike@diaryofazulugirl.co.za

Dear Mike

I am 29 and I am about to marry the most amazing man. We dated for a year and a half after I left Bloemfontein and moved to Jhb. He is from Jhb. As fate would have it, he has just been promoted and got a very good job back in Bloemfontein and we must move back together. Our wedding is in September and I should be happy that I will be moving back closer to my family but I am not. Here is the problem, before I met him I used to be very promiscuous. In Bloemfontein a lot of people knew because I either slept with their husbands or bosses. Even for me to end up in Joburg it’s because I had done too much damage. I had women wanting to beat me up and someone even burnt my car once. I have changed though so much that I don’t drink, smoke or party no matter what. I am not born again but I attend church regularly. This is the woman that my fiancé met and fell in love with. I have never told him about my past. Imagine telling your fiancé that you were the town bicycle having threesomes with politicians etc. I am saying all this because this is how bad I was and I accept it. My issue which I would like help with is if we move to Bloemfontein he is bound to find out? It’s not that it’s a small town but I was well known and at the time I guess I did not care. Now I do.

What should I do? Please after you are done insulting me can you offer me advice as I have met a very good man?

Thank You

Bloem

63 thoughts on “YES 136

  1. Confused… who is who where in the last scene witb Mbilahelo?
    @Bloem – I’ll wait for the others to respond… threesomes with politicians, damn….

  2. Thank you Mike for our daily dose, you’re awesome
    Bloem, I never really understood why society expects women to behave a certain way and if we fail to conform we’re called all the ugly names you can think of, while men can boast about their sexual conquests.
    That being said the past always has a way of coming back to bite you in the ass, so you have two options; 1. Tell the guy everything and let him decide whether or not he can live with that (if not, have a vodka float, mourn the relationship and move on) or 2. don’t say a word and let him find out on his own and let this blow up in your face.

    1. Until there’s no more denying? Then what? Imagine he hears it from multiple people? You can deny when it’s one or two but a bunch mhmmmm, its pretty tight. Bloem is not as big as joburg, there’s literally 2 options where people party, 2nd avenue which I’m sure she frequented, everyone who thought they made in bloem went there especially Cubana and Kasi (Ekhayeni which was always full and The Thoughts which was always full of kids).
      But lets say he also doesn’t go out since she doesn’t, bosses? peoples husbands? he’s bound to meet colleagues who have encountered her be it the bosses or the wives of.

  3. Mhmmmm Bloem, I might know you. I studied in Bloem and was probably a promoter at every event you were a VIP at Lol.

    Eish, I suggest that you tell him. It’s best he hears it from you than from other people. I say this because when people resent you, they tend to add spice just to animate just how “bad” you are. So I say, tell him yourself. He will be disappointed, and hurt maybe but I do think he will get over it. You were young and “stupid”, now you’re a grown woman who’s making better choices.
    You also don’t wanna start this new “book” in your life with things lingering from your past. Also dig deep into what caused it, it sounds a little too much to have been just “bad choices”. Some women tend to be promiscuous because some idiot took it by force and so as means of regaining their power they sleep around. But you don’t sound like you’re broken over it. Or maybe you dealt with it when you moved up to JHB.

    All the best, Mr Amazing will surprise you and understand. But be prepared for if he doesn’t. What will you do then? Fight for him right?

  4. Thanks Roses for providing clarity…
    Big up to my sister Lungi for standing up to that Malume, this is where your temper / short fuse is needed….

  5. 😂😂😂😂😂lungi your ancestors are match makers😂😂😂😂🙌🏾 I can’t deal.
    Blown if the man loves you he won’t care about your past. But then some people are not strong enough to handle e truth. Only you know him well. If he is not judgemental you can tell him. If he is then you have a problem on your hands.

  6. Bloem aslong as there is no proof deny deny deny otherwise you will loose your man mama…I know telling the truth is a good thing but trust me I’ve lost so many things in my life because of being honest…you are not guilty unless proven guilty…..but on the other hand if your man loves you he won’t dump you if you tell him the truth…….mina my lies are catching up with me my parents are doing a memulo for me and my virgin breaker will be there so kushubile and the guy talks too much but I will still deny…so it your choice mama either you deny or tell the truth kusa early

  7. Jyslaaikit, Bloem! I’m sorry my girl. This could go either way. And if he does accept your past, whose to know that another “old you” in Bloem, whose life you may have messed with, won’t want to do the same to you…?

    My questions though are: were you going to tell him if you stayed in Jhb and not Bloem? From the reading of your letter, it sounds like you weren’t going to. So if you’re considering telling him now, is it out of fear of him finding out? How will he react if he finds out from other people other than you? Suppose you go the denial route; for how long will that carry on for? Will you be fine with lying to him?

    Id think its only fair to give him the right to choose whether to move on with you. If not, I hope the anxiety of him finding out; or meeting another “old you”; won’t eat you up.

    All the best sis.

  8. Heheheehehe Mbi knows aunty, hayi the gods have spoken Lungi… Yhuuu but i still want Sifiso shame.

    Bloemfontein who doesnt have a past sisi, we all do good and/or bad… Talk to your fiance tell him even though you dont have to say it all. Do that on that pre-marriage counselling if you cant alone. All the best

  9. Everyone has a past. You have grown and matured now. If the man truly loves you he will look past all the nonsense. You have reformed its not like you will go back to your old ways.

  10. Bloem, vala umlomo. Keep your mouth shut until it comes up. When he does confront you about it then you tell him the truth. Tell him all the sordid details ofb yoyr past, if he asks. Your defense is that you did not think it mattered because it was a past and you were focused on building the future. Throw in his past as well. LOL

    Your past behaviours have nothing to do with anyone but you. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I repeat : YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!!!!

    Until such time that it comes up, thula ufe. Ungumfazi that means “Ufa wazi”.

    1. I agree with Chezz, It does not have to be told at all until something comes up. If you tell him now he wil call u dishonest as you kept it from him and you only tellin him becoz u scared he will find out. When he does find out u act like it’s nothing, roll your eyes and say huh what? that was like years ago hence I didnt feel the need to say anything. It’s over and done why let the past control your future. Good luck sisi!!

  11. Mike, wow, today’s episode is just amazing, somehow I almost cried because I relate to the whole mbilahelo and Lungi story line. Thank you

  12. hhayi suka why did the ancestors allow Lungi to sleep with Sfiso if Mbilahelo is the one. This is annoying I like Lungi and Sfiso I am hurt!!!!

  13. Bloem, just tell your fiance everything and let the chips fall where they may. Imagine his humiliation as well as your own when he hears about your past from someone else.

  14. Thanks for our daily dose
    Hi Bfn
    You need a new friends, church going like I am. Don’t go back to old friends and joints that you are notorious. We all have past and skeletons in our closets.

    I’ve been a bad girl at some stage but most people don’t know even if I say so myself they think I’m joking. If you need to start afresh I’ll be your friend and we rebuild your new image. He also has past and you don’t care about it after all.

    Even those who’ll come with negative comments learn to ignore and humble yourself, soon it will blow over. Shut your mouth as long as no one produces a proof then deny. Mr Maphoto please forward my email to her.

  15. People this Mbilalelo thing is bull…no Mike no sometimes people with calling choose who they want to fall in love with…and don’t forget that Lungie’s aunt told her the ancestors will remove anyone standing on the way so sifiso’s wife was removed so please don’t play with our emotions …there is zero connections with Lungie and mbila nonsense …let There be a twist with a positive end a happy ending

  16. Thank you Bhut Mike…..but Lungi’s ancestors are Baws hey lmao!!!

    Yhoo Bloem… I too told my boyfriend of my past…Much as he said he doesn’t mind because everyone has a past..somehow all that played against me… He goes through my fone and throws my “past” in my face at every turn..Mind you in the 4 years I have been with this guy , I have never given him reason to not trust me …but here I am…always “defending” myself at every turn…..so be prepared for that sis wam

    But he needs to hear the truth form you , rather a stranger who will mock him , to which you will find yourself fighting becaue of your past.. Now thaaaat will be disaster because the past is there, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it unfortunaytely… So prepare him for it..give him all the info he needs so that if he is willing to accept you and YPUR PAST he knows EXACTLY what he is agreeing to.

    And you need to find out what the cause for your promiscuity so you, atleast have a “reason” and say that you were able to work through whatever it was that was “bothering” you at the time that you couldn’t handle…

    Guys don’t like sharing , so he will get jealous ( if he is the jealous type ) when you talk to your ex…so try and avoid things that will make him uncomfortable, to which may raise questions to him about you and you being a changed person…
    Try and be patient with and put yourself in his shoes…had it been him the bicycle-rider, how would that make you feel….

    All the best nhe…

    Lol.. I like how you give us free will to insult you!! Black twitter tendencies!!

    PillzBerry

  17. Oh homie! Check this out my girl, we all have our past and the truth of the matter is they always find a way of haunting us but in your case I think the questions you’re asking yourself right is, what if I tell him the truth now after we are already engaged to get married, wouldn’t he feel like um betraying our loyalty towards each other? Thing is with past and secrets we don’t intend to keep them from our partners but it just so happens that we keep them in the beginning of the relationship not know if the guy is the right or a long term boyfriend and before you know it things get serious and you don’t know where to start! The only mistake you did here I think is not telling him by the time he proposed marriage because then you were 100% sure that he is your future husband, I would like to share few things with u if that’s okay with you. Bhut Mike may you please forward her my email address… all the best hle ngwanarona

  18. Bloem

    Keep quiet. Everyone has a past you not that person anymore. Guys are jealous, no man can live with the fact that his gf has slept with 10 men (which is the average mind you, not the traditional 2 or 3), Now u want him to live with knowing he’s marrying an ex sfebe? Hai sisi if u don’t do it for ur own good by all means do it to protect his image of u. Keep quiet.

    As a test ask him to tell you of his dating history from first gf, first orgasm, how often he mastubates, teachers or elders he’s had wet dreams about, has he ever asked a gf to abort his baby, His one night stands, how many times he’s cheated and who he cheated with. while u at it ask him how many gals did he promise to mary before you and how many he said he loved but knew he just wanted to bang and bounce. Just to emphasise my point ask him why he stole sugar from his mothers kitchen and you want an affidavit from all the above that he’s a good man and has been good until he met you. Ska bora moreki my skat. #DropsMike

  19. “Dating-agency ancestors” Lungi has got. Dankie brada Mikie.
    Sisi Bloem, tell but not the nutty gritty details, no man wants to hear that. Let him make a “sober” decision rather than hide little time bomb.
    Bcz it will pop, but at least he will offer support & understanding when U do damage control as a team. Most guys do understand that not all women were “angels” in the past. Gudluck hey!

  20. Bloem the reason why marriage counseling is crucially important is for reasons such as this. If your already going through it then I suggest you talk about such in your sessions if your not then please go for it…. You would be surprised at how understanding your future husband might be

    1. what bed ? dont you have a past virgin Mary ? skabora moreki like for real . women like you dont deserve an orgasm

  21. Lungi’s ancestors are persistent hey, I still say I like this Mbilahelo guy and I don’t even know why exactly.
    I love how she stood up to that uncle, more women should do that.
    Bloem, tell him. It’s in the past, you don’t have any infections, you stopped before you met him and never looked back. If he loves you he’ll leave the past in the past

  22. Nice one Mike…dankie
    BLOEM…..I honestly dont understand why this is so much of a bother really ah..it s your past…the guy wasnt even there in your life at tht time.so y must you be judged for things you did once upon a time.???you sound like you ve really changed..dont tell him.dont be scared even .jus be happy you got a loving someone n wen he finds out it will be very immature of him to leave you shem.

  23. @bloem
    I just hope , upcoming sfebes won’t sleep with your “husband ” like the way you hurt other women by sleeping with their “husbands”
    This is why i love karma nje

  24. Dear Bloem. If I were you I wouldn’t tell him at all, how many guys have you ever heard confess about their past to us?! There are none or few, your past is your past and you should get over it. You have changed and that should be your concern now. Just wait until he asks you coz if you confess. There’s 80% chances that things between you will change, its either he dumps you or have trust issues and not see you the same way.

  25. Whats up with Majuba Bra Mike? Phela you have been skipping it for some days now. And we are left in the dark.

  26. Lungi no Mbi abashade….end of story.

    Bloem. Threesomes with politicians, in the words of Nonzwakazi “imfebo bayande”! Jokes aside, you can keep quiet but if you were the well known bicycle as you claim to be, it will not be hidden for long. Those women whose men you slept with may still have a bone and have been waiting for the right time to pick it….I believe that if he loves you, he won’t judge your past behavior because that woman never existed to him.

  27. we Bloem this is not a movie when did we start confessing the number of guys we have banged now ai dont come here with your foot foot nonsense you breaking girls code. even if you have slept with 89 guys your number should always be 3 ok you can push it to 5 ke if he is a good mood mood.
    Honeeey your vagina does not print reciepts. lalela we live in a world where guys can go out with hoes all but when they want to settle down they choose the snoko of the town . where they will cheat on you 50 times but will die if you so much as flirt with a yellow bone nigga with a six pack . its not fair ,its selfish ,umbhedo etc but truth be told kunjalo nje .
    now mina ngithi Vala lomlomo wakho dont sabotage all of us . now with all of this said i would say prepare Mr Guy for the inevitable ,tell him when you left Bloem you wanted to start a new life away from the Bloem Drama and you hope they are over your teenage mistakes say this on a lighter note do not seat him down uzomxoxela ngobu**** bakho .
    musa ke ukulibe usihalisela nge 3 sum baningi abafuna ukuyi experiencer but we just dont have the guts .

    kodwa ke please share how was the 3 sum , were you with 2 guys or was it 2 girls and one guy? please do share

    1. I love this comment! haha yes there is no receipt machine on your vaginas LOL! I agree what he don’t know won’t hurt him!! and if it’s by the way it won’t be seen as serious. But if u goin to mke it serious then it’s going to be a problem … Mike!!! wheres our daily dose hun??!

  28. what I’ve learnt in life is that everyone has a past. we all make mistakes and we’ve all sinned. Problem with us is that we are sinners but we judge other sinners for sinning differently. We use a microscope to view other’s sins but choose to turn a blind eye on our sins.

    with that said, I believe you would like to have a peace of mind right? moreover you would love your person to love you for YOU and not what he thinks you are. Truth is whether you like it or not…secrets like to show off!! They just pop up like the universe is against you or something.

    and trust me, it was no coincidence that your partner had to find a better job in Bloem. that’s actually a good thing… You know why? because God wants you to introduce honesty to this person… you are no longer that person anymore. in fact you had to go through all of that in order for you to learn to love yourself, respect yourself and more importantly in order for you to give your partner the love that he deserves. Don’t be ashamed of your past…you are not that person anymore but look what that person made you to turn out to be?

    now because you love yourself, you respect yourself and you are a better person than the old you… Don’t let that person have control over you and your partner…Don’t allow yourself to destroy a beautiful thing. be the better person. Sit your partner down and tell him the truth. give him all of you so that when he stays you will never question his love for you ever again!! when he stays you will know that this is the man that God has blessed you with…the man that gives you the 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 kind of love.

    honour your marriage to this man by being honest with him. tell him before the world decides to do that job for you because mind you they will exaggerate…they will rip him apart…they will become vicious…they won’t be nice. and should you decide to tell him the truth AFTER that…trust me…that’s what will make him leave. You would have already fed him to the wolves by withholding the truth from him so how does he trust you? would you trust yourself if you were in his shoes?

    so stand up woman! rise up! talk to your man..protect this man from the wolves….protect this marriage by being honest and most importantly never ever make a decision before you’ve spoken to the man upstairs. God knows that you love this man so tell him that you are about to fight for the man he blessed you with so seek his protection from rejection. seek for his protection from your partner not being understanding…pray for your man…pray for your marriage and pray for yourself….forgive yourself…forgive those that have hurt you for YOU to to do what you did in the past…because we all know that being promiscuous was not driven by Passion but by your wound…I pray that the very same wound has healed. talk to your creator. he knows you love this man and he won’t allow the truth to let him walk away but make him stay.

    trust in the Lord and do what’s right.

  29. At least someone tell us that Mike is fine wherever he is. I think ukwi honeymoon and he did not tell us because he did not invite us to his wedding.

    MIKE its fine, vela bhuti sixoxe, ngeke sikwenze lutho, ushadile ushadile noma ungasimemanga.

  30. Mara guys u know Mike did the Durban July now he has no money to come back lol bamo feditse. …let me check him ko twitter hahah hai issa mess.

    I forgot to do the #MissSaChallenge le some Tsakane chick….bofebe mara Ewu…

    Mikie. …..poi….

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