Majuba 20


Sometimes you lie even when it so unnecessary to do so. With this I had had no intention to lie at all and the words had just come out. A little voice inside my head kept telling me to take it back but an even louder one kept saying words I did not intend. I can’t believe I had just lied like that and so easily to the man I loved. The look on his face was priceless. He even had tears in his eyes so how could I possibly tell him that it was a slip of the tongue. O lord what had I done. If I took it back now he would never trust me again. I had told the ultimate lie.

“Vusi why didn’t you say you wanted a baby all along the way you are so excited is not real!”

I said laughing at him guiltily because he was too busy dancing alone in the living room and what’s worse, the dude can’t even dance. He was doing fist pumps like a white person trying to dance to gqom music! Sigh! I had really put my foot into it.

“Of course I am happy. My excuse was finances you know that but fuck it, fuck finances we are going to make it work!”

He said as he looked at me with so much love in his eyes. How could I take it all back at a time like this?

“We must start thinking of names!”

He said to me suddenly. It’s like the thought had just crossed his mind and to him was the most brilliant thought ever.

“No Vusi stop it. I told you for three months we need to keep calms. Its bad luck to name a child before the child is born!”

I warned him with a stern voice. I was scared I was going to lose him with all that was going on. Vusi hated Simon so much that he would have dumped me for sure after seeing me on top of him. I love my man and I had messed up with my lie now I had to fix it.

“My love you know what, we need to buy a house you know…”

He was saying there was a knock at the door and it was my sister. What the hell did she want? I got rid of her fast though. She did not always listen to me when I said something and now this was a case in point. For now what I needed though was to think.

“I am sorry baby for her disturbing like that but you were saying something about a house?”

I asked him when she had left. Indeed he had said that.

“Oh yes. I was thinking out loud. I don’t want my baby to grow up in an apartment block with nowhere to run. I mean what’s if it’s a girl, with the number of kidnappings and missing child posts I see around us I really think we need to now move into a new estate with yards and so on!”

He told me and I just stared at him blankly. It was not because I did not appreciate the idea that I was not excited but rather because I had asked him several times about this and he would always dismiss me like I did not know what money was.

“Vusi I have been asking for this for a long time and much as I am happy with it, you have shut me down every time I asked!”

I reminded him. If I had made the lie I had to play it right. Imagine messing up even in a lie then benefitting nothing out of this.

“Yes I know but in all honesty you also never seemed to want a baby and start a family. I have also asked several times for that!”

That was his response. I had my reasons for not wanting a family early and it was him. Much as Vusi was a nice guy, he never seemed to want to commit fully. Every time the wedding question came up he would avoid. I had even raised with my own labour and willing and dealing I had raised R35 000 now to contribute to our wedding. It was something he knew.

“I can’t have this baby out of wedlock I am sorry!”

I told him.

“Ah come on, again?”

He asked me. His mood suddenly went down.

“Yes again. I am not going to tell my children in future no sex before marriage when they appear in our wedding pictures! That’s just witchcraft!”

I said and he laughed. He had sent me that meme and we had laughed about it before.

“So you want us to start planning a wedding?”

He asked me.

“Yes I do want us to start. I am not that far along and in 3 months my pregnancy will not be showing that much!”

I explained to him.

“I want to do this right and you already know how many superstitions I have!”

I told him going in to hug him.

“What do you mean?”

He asked me. I know when he is sceptical and right now he was being sceptical.

“Love would you put our baby’s life at risk for anything. We need to start going to church properly to make sure our baby is blessed hence why we must get married in the church!”

I told him. I was actually about to get my wedding. I have always wanted that and I have been asking him for this. I did not want anything fancy, hell I did not even mind just going to court and signing papers? I wanted to be Mrs. Zungu more than anything else.

“Ok fine we will do this. Thank you for this. I really am happy!”

He said without putting much more of a fight. It was only a matter of time before he asked us to go see a doctor together so now that was my next plan. I had to get a doctor to confirm I was pregnant and also to one day confirm I was having a miscarriage. The plan was forming fast.

“Love I want to make love to you tonight. Now that I am pregnant no condoms finally! I was starting to feel like you don’t trust me!”

I said laugh and kind of making a fist pump. It’s embarrassing that as a couple he had always insisted on condoms. Once or twice we would do it without but that was often by accident.

“I knew that was coming…”

He said laughing,

“We are about to start having the best sex ever!”

He said laughing. There would be no sex that night though because he had work to do and I was still not 100% from the hangover.

The following morning I called my sister because she was the only person I could tell who could help me out of this mess I had gotten myself into.

“I am in trouble Nonjabulo!”

I told her. I did not want to tell her why because she is a problem when she knows a secret.

“I am your sister you know I can help you with anything.”

She assured me.

“I know you can that’s why am calling you.”

With every person in your life you need to know their weaknesses. With my sister it was her vanity. Dumb people always want to be made to sound intelligent and relevant. That was my sister. I loved her but she was not the cleverest person around. What she did have was a hustling mentality which had made her many contacts.

“I am coming over now?”

I told her. I jumped into an uber and we met at Southgate Mall. It’s amazing the one shady mall I could think of was the one shady place we ended up. Southgate, eish if I could tell you the number of things that happened there you would cringe but it’s all South Africa now to be fair.

“What is it Londiwe? I am so curious right now I could not even sit still?”

She asked me.

“I am ok thank you for asking!”

Is aid sarcastically after she had not even asked me what was up?

“Do you know anyone who can help me to get a baby?”

I asked her.

“A baby?”

She asked me clearly confused by the question.

“Yes a baby.”

I responded trying to act as naturally as possible.

“Londiwe I am confused and I won’t lie a bit scared by what you are asking!”

She told me.

“This is your fault too but am not blaming you. Vusi almost broke up with me because of Simon being at your party and now I ended up lying saying I was pregnant! If he finds out am lying about that he will probably dump me!”

I explained to her. She looked at me intently trying to process what I was saying to her.

“Londy what you are asking for could be dangerous. I don’t want to end up in jail!”

She said attempting to stand up.

“Nonjabulo please sit down. I am not asking you to do anything illegal. I just need to know who you know who can help me get a baby that’s all. You are the most connected person I know!”

I told her. She pulled her hand away from mine cautiously.

“I don’t know about this? This is not a good idea Londy.”

She said. I was not here to hear that. I needed help.

“Ok fine not a baby. I need a doctor who can confirm I am pregnant then I will lie and say I got a miscarriage. Is that better?”

I asked her.

“Yes I guess… Please don’t kidnap someone’s child Londy!”

She advised me as she sat down again,

“Do you know someone then?”

I asked her optimistically.

“A fake doctor?”

She asked me.


I was anxious. She had not really given me answers that I needed.

“Oh there are plenty of those and they are not even fake, they are real doctors who just love money!”

She said to me but she was still very sceptical even now.

“They are not in Marabastad and funny places like that right?”

I asked him.

“Of course! The best crooks don’t work in the shadows, you find them were you least expect them and that’s the suburbs!”

She said and we laughed. She was in. She was going to help me!


******The End*******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Hi Mike ,
Thanks for the story , i am really enjoying YES
I am a 27yr old female and I have been single for about 3 and a half years.
There have been guys here and there asking me out and some were quite decent but none I have been interested in enough to persue a relationship with and I don’t believe in getting into a relationship with someone I am not madly in love with from the word go
My problem now is I’m feeling kind of lonely at this point ,i just want that special someone that I can share life with and also I am just sexually frustrated now ,3.5yrs single = 3.5yrs with no sex. With my ex we had sex all the time ,and 80% of the time it was good sex , so to go from that to nothing is just so frustrating
I am at a point where I am ever considering calling my ex for a “casual hookup” ,which I know is just wrong considering he has a gf. A friend of mine even suggested I go to those massage palours with “happy endings” ,lol
What should I do , call up my ex 3.5yrs later?, settle for one of the guys asking me out (although I’m not really interested) or just continue waiting on that “perfect guy” ??
Lonely and frustrated

30 thoughts on “Majuba 20

  1. OMG what the hell is Londiwe thinking!!!This will definitely backfire and she will lose vusi I swear.

  2. Londy yazi uzofa sisi …… frustrated please stop waiting for the perfect man he doesn’t exist. You grow to love a person. It doesn’t happen instantly.

  3. Lovely and frustrated. Wait you mean there are really those ‘ massage and parlours with happening endings’ places??? Where please

  4. Londiwe bathong! Why isn’t she thinking about trying to get pregnant ? Klaar fela ebile setse a plan-a miscarriage????


  5. Except but Londy why don’t you just say did a home pregnancy test and when you went to the Dr to confirm you actually were not. Those test are not always correct anyway and this way the Dr would not have to lie .

    “Perfect guy”, if that existed most woman would be okay in life……… Lonely and frustrated, you need to give love a chance if you want a relationship. Go on dates with those who propose, you just might meet your match. Sometimes cupid’s arrow won’t hit you instantly as you wish it to.

  6. mara Londy is mad because Vusi was already forgiving her when she came up with this lie of hers. She must just go to the doctor with Vusi and doctor will confirm she is not pregnant and she can just say it was a false alarm ,its not like she even did home pregnancy test moes. Unjani na lo sisi , imagine now faking a miscarriage , tjo !

  7. Thanks Mikeesto, awesome one buddy, Happy Friday.

    Lonely, I feel like you took a decision after your ex to be single and you stuck to that decision 3 and a half years. Big ups to you. The loneliness was inevitable and I think knowing exactly what you want gives you an advantage. Like the others said, ‘perfect guy’ uhlala somewhere on the summit of Mount Everest, chances of you meeting him are 1 in 10 000. Forget about it and start going out there and mingle. Don’t go thinking you will get love at first sight, sisi this isn’t Mzantsi Magic, its real life. The person who can give you 100% great sex might just be the one you don’t even want to entertain as a prospect. Stop looking at guys and measuring them to your fantasy.

    Start going on dates and know people, check their personality, how they handle different topics on different levels, heated and cool. Put them through tests that can eventually lead you to believe their worthy. But don’t be delusional and think you will meet this guy on the street or e-mall and suddenly go ‘ GA GA’.

    Phantsi nge tswayi phantsi!!


  8. Well said jackzorro.sisi pls give those guys a chance and u will find the one or u can do the no strings attached

  9. Thank you Mike and team for the great work. If there is any chance of “Wololo” resurfacing, would you and the team kindly consider it?
    Thanks again!

  10. Ta bradaman Mikie. Salute!
    Lonely & frustrated, “Mr Perfect” exists in your imaginary brain but some women will still advice U to wait for him.
    Give the guts a chance & let them prove themselves. But for releasing some of that salt, ask a friend to hook U up. Use protection until the potential one appears. Go out & look for yo man or wait for Mr Perfect until UR 40! Then what? U settle or become a nun. What’s the difference?

  11. Lonely and confused I’m also in the same boat as you,I’ve been single for 2yrs now and the only people I’m getting proposed are ben10’s which I’m not interested. I’m 38 with 2kids, working and driving. I sometimes asks myself if we still have single men in mzansi or we should consider guys from other countries.

  12. Ah but Mike, you’re doing this all too often now hey :(. A notification nyana of hi guys, I have other commitments, will be back on whatever day would be nice. If you’re not well your partners should let us know so we can pray for you.
    kanti what’s going on?

  13. Mr Maphoto hope UR gud. Pls stop this “van damme” business just going AWOL. Some ppl have panic buttons as they favorite. They start throwing toys out the shopping basket.
    While we wait for pur dear brother Mike, ppls help to understand this debate I have had in my head. Are divorced women angry ppl most of the time than their male counterparts. From the ones I have seen, especially if they remain single (mostly not by choice) they tend to be angry with every other male or to the world in general. Just my personal observation.

  14. Hai unomona mike ngathi unama followers angaka, u trander iminyaka emingaka, even white people are reading your block kodwa lutho ukusi rewarder nge dose # UNOMONA

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