I really don’t get it, why do women insist on insulting other women when it comes to men. We spend so much time demanding better treatment from men when we go all out to destroy each other and bring each other down. This girl had really ticked me off. My sister looked at the phone in shock and the tears just kept falling.
“I have to go!”
He said on the other side. It’s amazing how much of a child a man can become where a woman is involved. This was not a woman but a girl and he was old enough to have told her off but she already controlled him.
“Go! You really are disappointing!”
I said on behalf of my sister who was too distraught to speak for herself.
“This is the last time you call him! You can’t do this to yourself. Let him move on if he wants to!”
I told her. I felt that was the only way to reassure her in this scenario. She was in trouble.
“Girls what’s going on?”
My mum asked when she saw that she had been crying.
“It’s nothing mum. I will be fine!”
She told me.
“Are you missing your husband? I told you that you can go home I am fine now. No man wants to be left alone for too long!”
My mother said to her and it left me a bit confused. What was going on here?
“Mum I told you he is fine with me being here. Go back inside please so I can come in and cook for you! I am here to come and take care of you so be taken care of!”
My sister shooed my mother away. I was so confused. She went into the house leaving me alone in the driveway. What the hell was she doing? I went to the car to take out the groceries I had bought followed her into the house. I did not say anything to her as I packed things. There was not enough space so I had to clear some. My mother was truly a hoarder Shem, so much unnecessary things.
“Please don’t say anything!”
My sister whispered when she came to the kitchen.
I asked her acting oblivious to what she could possibly mean.
“Come on you know!”
She did not want to say it out loud.
“You didn’t tell mum that you are not together anymore?”
I asked her.
“No. And I won’t until I am ready. You know how much she adores him. She is still recovering right now and I don’t want to spook her.”
My sister explained.
“She looks fine to me!”
I said to her and there was panic on her face.
“I am only joking sis come on I won’t tell her. You will tell her on your own.”
I reassured her. I was just playing around with her and no matter how self righteous I often was I would never have told on her something like this.
She said and came in and gave me a big hug. I was not expecting that hey. My phone vibrated in my back pocket and I pulled out of her hug to pick it up.
“Hey, I thought you never wanted to talk to me again?”
I asked him.
“Goodness no, why would you even think that? You are so addictive; I need you as my daily dose!”
He said and I found myself laughing.
“Really dude! You remind me of this blog I was addicted a few years ago, Diary of a Zulu…”
I did not even finish the statement and he cut in,
“Diary of a Zulu Girl are you for real! That thing had people addicted like nyaopes in Hamanskraal!”
He said and I laughed at him,
“Wait no, you read that? Are you for real you actually read that?”
I asked him shocked to death by that.
“I read a bit. Gorilla Python and S! You know I was convinced I knew some of those people!”
We laughed and then he just went quiet.
I asked him.
“It was my wife who introduced me to it. At the beginning I thought she was cheating on me because she was always on the phone. We even fought about it because she wanted to see how jealous I could get imagine! She strung me along until the very last minute of me snapping and showed me! I was embarrassed…”
Then again he went quiet. That was an awkward moment.
“Sorry I did not mean to talk about her. You just brought up a memory that’s all…”
He said and then he went quiet as though he was thinking.
“Can we talk a bit later!”
“Sure, take all the time you need.”
I told him. He was emotional I could hear and I think that memory had hit home. Now I wished I had not brought up that book at all. He was not supposed to have read it anyway because I thought only females read.
“Who was that on the phone? Is that your new boyfriend?”
My nosey sister asked me.
“No he is not my boyfriend just a friend!”
I responded to her but she looked at me funny and said,
“You are lying. I know when you like a person and when you are lying the bottom of your lip twitches!”
“Is it Mbuso?”
She asked me. My sister had met Mbuso, the first time at the hospital I think.
“No it’s not so stop asking questions because I am not telling! Let’s start making supper you know mom does not like her food late!”
I reminded her also wanting to get her off my back. She changed the topic and we started talking about other things. It was about two hours later just as we finished cooking that there was a knock on the door, guess who?
“Dude did we fight? What happened to you? I haven’t seen you since Nelspruit!”
I said when she walked in. To be honest I too had also been part of the problem. This girl had discovered that her husband had another wife and decided to say. What more deceit levels did a woman want?
“It’s because you were angry at me that’s why and I needed you to cool off first!”
She explained. She was right about one thing, I was that judgmental friend and this was why I would have avoided me too.
“Its not that I judged but the way it went down we both know it was wrong right?”
I asked her wanting to make sure that was not entirely wrong on my own.
“Yes it was but after watching Uthando Nesthembu I am at peace with my decision!”
She said and we both laughed. She was talking about some new TV shows centred around polygamy on Mzansi.
“So now you will be expecting r20000 grocery a month and a curfew at 5pm!”
I asked her and she put her hands on her waist and said,
“Not even a child gets such a curfew and if he wants to stay alive he should never bring such archaic rules!”
I paused for a second, hold on,
“Marriage is good neh now you even using words like archaic!”
I told her and again we both laughed,
“I didn’t tell you, he registered me at school and said I need to complete my degree. I am going to be doing H.R through UNISA. He says he does not want a wife who waits to be fed at home as though she has a blesser!”
She explained and I was surprised she would even agree to those terms. I had greatly misunderstood my friend she really had matured. Maybe her fool was good for her after all.
“Let’s go outside and gossip! I don’t want my mum hearing our stories!”
I told her and we walked out of the house. It was like we were teenagers again and guess what, I liked it! I had actually missed her. It’s weird how I could not talk about my men problems with my older sister but with Miriam it came easy. I told everything and about everyone.
“So let me get this, Mbuso is the creepy one uncertain of himself, Simba I remember him from the wedding is the hot African brother who is traditional and doesn’t have sex,”
She laughed when she said that,
“Sfiso is obviously the yellow bone fine brother with a wicked sense of humour and also my husband’s close friend and there is Mbilahelo, what a name by the way whose brother you slept with!”
She recapped when I was done telling her the story.
“Yes, I don’t know what to do!”
I told her in my girly most voice I am sure I even pouted!
“Lungile Mbatha please allow me to say this, when they said 20sfebenteen they were not joking neh lol you have become the new me! Four and a half men all dangling on your little finger! What did you give them Lungi even I was not that good!”
She said and we both laughed but our laughter meant too very different things. She laughed because it was funny how I was failing to juggle and I laughed because she had put it so bluntly in a way I had never considered myself. I had four men and were it someone else I would have called them whores. I was not angry at her for comparing herself to me because let’s be honest I was her now! How the mighty had fallen, I had come full circle to when I first starting journaling this.
“I never realized they were so many! Who is the half man?”
I asked her.
“Azwindini of course! Do you think he will just step back and say yay?”
She asked me.
“Why did you think of him though? I only met his brother today and hell now! I am not going to Venda to be with a cop!”
I said discriminatingly. I wanted my contempt to be very clear to hear.
“I listened to all your options and I know you thought I would go with Sfiso, anyone in their right mind would think that but reality is right now he needs to mourn his wife. It will be at least a year before he can even look at another woman seriously. I will be a bad friend if I told you that you should pin your hopes on him so no!”
She told me with a rather serious look on her face. What hurt the most here was that I got her point entirely so I guess she was pointing towards Mbuso or Simba. I just did not fully trust Mbuso but I won’t lie if I say he had not wormed his way into my heart somewhere somehow.
“Ok oh wise married woman who understands men so well, who do you, think I should follow? I think for once I would do things your way, whatever you say I will do!”
I asked her laughing.
“You promise you will choose exactly who I say you should go with?”
She asked me teasingly.
“Yes I will, I promise! Cross my heart and hope to die!”
I said and we laughed. We used to do this as kids when we were trying to say we telling the truth and because of fear of death that was a serious oath to make.
“Ok then. I am choosing him because funny enough there is something about him that makes him the one. I just feel it in my bones…”
“Dude just say a name ah come on!”
I told her.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Hi Mike & your lovely readers
Been reading your staff since diary of a zulu girl and I must say you’re very talented and thank you for being such a committed writer.
Can I remain anonymous,I just want to share my story with your readers and please notify me when you post the letter.
Im a 25 year old female who’s story is similar to Lungi’s of YES in terms of the calling & relationships.
After high school I went to an FET college and did a nated course and passed it. Nothing worked out for me, couldn’t get a job and all my relationships failed. While struggling to get my life together I found out I had a calling and my mom wanted to hear nothing about these staff because she didn’t want to except her calling as well. But after some time she excepted everything .
Yes we’ve got different values and beliefs but this ancestor thing is serious guys and some people take it lightly. But it’s a matter of choice, it’s either you listen to them or do don’t. And what I know is that things can go very wrong for you if you don’t wanna listen.
I asked for advice as to what I should do from a church elder. And I must say she pushed me into the right direction. And with God anything is possible. My parents had to save money thwasa, while at it I found myself a job and I was able to help. During all this time I met my Mbuso and just like Lungi I told him everything & he was very supportive . When the time came for me to thwasa he gave me the necessary space to do all my staff.
It hasn’t been easy but with God’s grace all is well. After 3yrs of completing my course I finally got myself and internship & I’m still with my Mbuso.