Young Employed and Single

YES 119

A rush of blood that is what they call it. That is a moment when someone loses their mind in such a way they are

almost temporarily insane. That’s the only way I could explain it. For the record, I did not attack Nicole because she had been on a date with Simba. I need to make that clear. I was not going to fight for a man physically especially in public. I have myself respect for that to keep me in check. I fought with her because she can’t tell me that she thinks its right that her white skin makes her think she is better than me or us for that matter. Let me say this again for those who don’t work in the private sector, a white person can tell you what they want, when they want and where they want! What do we do with our so called black majority, we grin it and bare it because we are fighting so hard to keep the job! I was not fighting for that and I know Nthabiseng would be fuming at me right now for this but I would do it again if I had the chance.

“What was that?”

Sfiso asked angrily as we walked away from the crime scene with him practically dragging me away. The interesting thing about fighting with white people is that no one stops the fight. Every race has its grudge or prejudice against the next.

“I am sorry I am just going to go home…”

I told him meekly. It was the next logical option considering the drama I had caused.

“I think you should!”

He said rather annoyed at me. I had presented myself as ghetto and not many educated men find that attracted. My phone rang as I was saying this. It was my sister.

“Mum is out; I have taken her home you should come see her!”

She told me. Like wow really. She could not have told me that mum was being discharged and we could have picked her up together.

“I have to go Sfiso. It’s about my mum. Sorry I spoiled lunch for us!”

I told him as I jumped into my car. He had actually parked close to me and I saw him look at me as I drove off. He took out his phone and dialled. The phone in my car rang.

“You just drove off without saying thing about what happened?”

He asked me annoyed.

“Yes sorry I had to go my mother has a bit of an emergency. The person who called there was my sister!”

I explained to me.

“I don’t mean about the phone call I am talking about in the restaurant.

I knew that’s what he had meant all along and I had thought we could avoid all that unpleasantness but I guess not.

“She is an ex colleague who had it coming and she provoked me!”

I told him.

“Ex colleague from the same company you are suing? Are you sure that was wise?”

He asked me the obvious. I know what I had was stupid and he had every right to point that out to me. I was a bit annoyed though that everyone knew I was suing my company. It’s like I could not keep my mouth shut the way I was telling everyone who would listen.

“Eish it probably was not but when I saw her then she passed those comments about my job I simply wanted to vent. It happened so fast and I know I will regret it later!”

I told him. There not that much traffic getting on to the N1 and because I was using hands free I allowed myself to hold my head in frustration. I was frustrated at myself.

“Oh well you have more than just vented then because there is no way she is not going to try and sue you again on a personal capacity! What were you thinking?”

He asked me and he could not hide his anger. I know I had embarrassed him with my behaviour. I had and that was bad. We had come to discuss Mbuso and Ntheteng now we were discussing this.

“I fucked up I know but it’s done. I should probably call my lawyer now and give her the heads up!”

I told him. Somewhere I read that if provoked you should turn the other cheek. Why had I not listened mara? The adrenalin from the moment was gone and guess what, tear works! I was crying. What was going on with me?

“I want to leave for Mpumalanga today and I think I will fly out at the end of the week. Will I be able to see you again?”

He asked me.

“Yes you will and you should. It’s really important we talk face to face!”

I told him panicking a bit.

“Ok Rambo just don’t beat up anyone else in my absence!”

He said as he hung. That was meant to be a joke but that came too soon.

“Rambo my ass!”

I told myself as I continued with my journey. Mum was out of hospital so that at least was one less stress and a much appreciated one at that. I was expecting the police or someone to call me but not one call until I reached my mother’s house. I called Nthabiseng but it did not go through.

“Nthabiseng where are you?”

I asked myself out loud. I had to go out and open the gate so I could park the car inside. My sisters car was there too so I guess I must be prepared for her drama too. Imagine that feeling when you are not even looking forward to enter your own house.


Someone said hitting the car from me behind.

“Where have you been hiding?”

It was Mum Dolly. I did not even see her come so technically she had snuck on me. I was so startled.

“I am here now how are you?”

I said getting out of the car.

“I am good. Your friend Miriam is not talking to me please talk to her for me. She is unhappy about something.”

She told me.

“I will do so. You know her though; she is angry for a week and comes back!”

I told her. She was not coming in she turned back and went to her house.

“I will come see your mum later!”

She said as she walked away briskly as though she was in a rush for something. Five minutes later I smelt why, she had burnt whatever she was cooking not that it was anything new. This woman loved talking and gossiping so much half the time she burned the food. I was not surprised at all.

I wanted to see my mother so I ran in to see what was going on.

“Oh there you are! I thought maybe you did not love me anymore!”

My mother said cheekily when she saw me but she was just teasing.

“You know that can never happen. I am so happy you are home!”

I told her.
“Your sister told me that you were in a meeting that’s why you could not come!”

Wow like really. I did not come because she did not tell me that mum was coming out.

“I am sorry mum but am here now!”

My sister stood up to go to the kitchen. I chose not to confront her aggressively but still talk to her.

“I am sorry!”

I told her when I walked into the kitchen.

“This drift between us I am so sorry!”

I said again. She stood there looking at me for a second then I saw tears, real tears.

“And then?”

I asked her.

“He is leaving me Lungile. He is leaving me. The divorce papers came this morning. He already has someone on the side and I am told she is doing matric!”

She cried. I won’t lie I hated the guy he did not deserve my sister but to say I was shocked was an understatement.

“I love him so much I can’t lose him!”

She declared. I moved in and hugged my sister. I foresaw a problem where she will blame me considering she already blamed me for beating him up. A lot of people will say she will thank me later but when is later?

My phone was ringing so ii had to let go of my sister so I could answer it. I went outside.

“My phone was off sorry but I saw your missed call.”

She said as soon as I picked the phone up.

“Before you say anything something has happened and you are going to kill me for this!”

I told her.

“Please tell me you have not done something major which we can’t fix!”

She asked me concerned. She did not even ask if it was the other person who started she knew it was me and she zoomed in.

“I beat up Nicole, the bosses’ mistress!”

I told her.

“I know who Nicole is but are you fucken crazy?”

She said angrily at me.

“You never used to be this crazy person Lungi what is wrong with you! You need to see someone immediately because you are out of control!”

She advised me. She was very unhappy.

“I don’t know what’s going on with me really. One thing I was fine and the next I was seeing red. I am sorry I let you down! Is this going to jeopardize our case?”

I asked her very worried that it would.


She said and you could hear me breathe a huge sigh of relief.

“Why though?”

I asked her.

“Well because whilst you were busy boxing up people I was signing the agreement!”


“You signed already!”

I asked now anxious and curious. In the morning she had said she would have had an offer but I thought she would wait for me to accept.

“Yes I did!”

I was very uneasy without her consulting me on this but I did not want to show just yet. I had fought with too many people today alone.

“How much?”

I asked.

“Are you sitting down?”

She asked me. I know we wanted more money but should she not have told me first.

“I am but how come you did not tell me when you got the meeting.”

I asked her very concerned by this development.

“I actually did call you twice and I left a message on your phone.”

She responded. I will have to check my phone because that’s not how it’s supposed to work.

“How much did you get?”

I asked her.

“Five Million Five Hundred Thousand!”

Jaw drop!

******The End********

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Hi Mike

Firstly I just want to commend you on the great work you are doing on your blogs. I always look forward to my daily dose.

This one goes to Jackzorro: Nom-jaka-jaka: Thank you for your straight talk and for not sugar-coating things. I’ve been in an unhealthy relationship with the father of my child for seven years. Through all those years, he has done everything from disappearing on me for days. Having girls at home while I’m at work, sometimes even leaving me in bed to go to “gym”. He’s sulked and “thrown” me out of his place 2 days after my arrival with the explanation yokuthi he needs space (we stay in different towns about 150km apart). He’s had girlfriends come and fight with him at his place and he would sit with them in the lounge to talk things through.

We met in 2009 a few months after I broke up with my then steady boyfriend. He’d been pursuing me for a while so when we met while I was still “grieving” , I welcomed his advances. When he is on good behaviour, he is the perfect gentleman, he’ll cook and I clean up, we’d go out on dates, exchange cars when I need a bigger car etc. But when he’s bad yhoo it’s like he’s possessed by demons.

We broke up end of 2013 and during that phase I got a promotional post in another town. He then started calling me, claiming that he missed me and wanted to work things out. Beginning of 2014, I eventually relented and allowed him back in my life. It wasn’t long before he went back to his old ways. A year later, 2015, I fell pregnant. Umntu wabantu showed me flames! Throughout my pregnancy I cried myself to sleep. It is by God’s grace that I managed to carry my baby full-term. Phofu ke not once did he give me any money towards the pregnancy/medical expenses. He even went on holiday a few weeks before I delivered. Never even spent a dime on baby stuff.

When our baby was born, he was there. Right by my side, taking pictures etc. It only took a few days for him to revert to his old ways. No phone calls to check on the baby, cwaka umntu!

To cut a long story short, my baby is 17 months old and her father has never bought her not even a bar of sunlight soap ne Vaseline! For the past year, he’s been going through some financial problems, even had to move out of his fancy place. I have been understanding throughout this process as I have a well paying job so money is not a problem. All that I’ve expected from him is to be present in his child’s life.

Even after we broke up, I have tried to be the bigger person and allow him to visit his child. My problem is that he is only a father when he feels like it. At times we’d arrange for visits which he’d cancel at the last minute or even decide not to answer his phone.

My question is how do I cut him out of my life without feeling like I’m robbing my baby girl of a chance to form a relationship with her father. I’d like for them to have a relationship but this guy just gets on my nerves with how irresponsible he is.

By the way last month, my daughter was hospitalized for a week in his town, zange azidine to even come and visit his daughter. The last time we spoke was when I was telling him we’re being admitted and he totally ignored my calls and messages.

Thank You


26 thoughts on “YES 119

  1. Yhooooo drama!!! Uyayi nyamezela into nawe sisi haibo!!

    I shall sit this one down , seeing you penned this letter for Nomjaka-jaka, lol!!

  2. Thanx. The hunger was killing me kkkkk. @ baby mama iscathulo sitshisa osigqokileyo. Only you can understand your situation and only you can make a decision to shut this idiot out of your life.

  3. yhoo this is just drama, all the way. I’d suggest you just dont do anything. Live your life focus on your kid, try and dont let his craziness and empty promises get into you. If he says he will come and dont just ignore him. Im a mother too and I know how frustrating it can be at times but just raise your kid alone the way you know how. Dont update him on anything uqhubeke nje nobomi bakho, your baby daddy doesnt want to grow up and you cant raise a boy to be a man. This guy has already cut himself out of his babys life ngalo in and out amenzayo…DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. Just ignore the idiot noba wenzani dont let it get to you

  4. Ihheee! Kodwa siyanyelwa yazi singabantu besifazane but how long that goes on for is most often up to us. How a person treats you is largely dependent on you.

    I don’t know if you’re in love but they say a woman in love is the hardest to advise. I don’t know if my approach will work for you, but after persevering in a similar but not so hectic situation for three years I walked. I sat him down and I said there is nothing I haven’t done to make this work and equally I’m content knowing there is nothing I didn’t try and I genuinely was. I know you’ve had many breaking points and moments where you probably feel I’m done but some stupid tiny gesture reels you back in. I pray you find THEE breaking point. Whilst my story has a happy ending I cannot help but wish the same for you. You will feel so liberated. Go claim your power back sisi! Your daughter was not born for you to suffer!

  5. Thanks Mikeesto, waze wanyamalala nkunzi but welcome back. As for the R5.5Mill…. YESES :):):)

    Drama, talk about watching a dull movie. This guy is a douche, not worth a cent not worth a damn stress. You sound so intelligent though, like you should know better, you should expect and demand better. What is it about this bad boy that keeps you holding on for a miracle? He aint gonna walk on water, sure as hell aint gonna change his childish behaviour. Let this thing go sisi, you don’t even have to waste airtime and give him the courtesy of letting him know. Yaz at some point you need to get sick and tired of being sick and tired, if this man can’t offer you much in terms of respect and ubuntu, what can he really offer your daughter in terms of her development? His got zero parental skills, his got zero parental insticts , akho nimba fokol kule bari yakho. 17 months and not even a purity nyana or danone? Hayi no, yinja yamathafa this guy.

    Sisi you are financially capable of taking care of yourself and your daughter. She’s young now, doesn’t know any better and although you may not want to be in the way of her relationship with her dad, he is showing you that he doesn’t want one with her. You can’t force him, let him be. Your daughter will grow up and will decide on her own if she wants to pursue this loser, for now just protect her from instability. What good will it do the child if he comes along and be all daddy then disappear again to do his normal demonic acts? Uzo confuser umntana lobhuti.

    Move on with your life sisi, you deserve better, your little angel deserve better. And remember that #SingleParentsStayWinning You can do this 🙂


  6. I’m in a similar situation with my daughter’s father, only we broke up because he went and had other kids out there! I allow him to see his daughter but I explicitly told him that he won’t do in and out of her life as he pleases, arranged visits must be kept to! I know his financial situation and its not great, but that’s not my problem anymore so I took him to maintenance court and now he’s supporting his daughter, not that I need the money, its a matter of principle! He was a shitty boyfriend but he’s a great father, especially since the breakup! Set your rules clearly bearing in mind the best interest of your child, if he’s not stepping up cut him out, and don’t feel guilty about it, there is a man out there who will help you raise that princess! Good luck

  7. Funny just how I relate to Today’s letter….. Drama my suggestion is that you completely ignore him and carry on with your life….. Your daughter is still young and doesn’t really know or understand what is happening around her besides sensing your frustrations towards this man whom she obviously doesn’t relate to as much as she does with you emotionally. You know who her daddy is and when she is older and she starts asking then you answer her honestly with out making her father look like the douche bag that he is, assist her in reaching out to him and help her pick up the pieces when he lets her down till she herself sees that he is not worth the trouble…… And he himself will later in life regret his choices should he not change by then.

  8. Leave that guy and find a new will talk to him only when he wants to see the baby. .you have wasted many years with him,don’t waste your life..he is not a man,let alone a conplete well functioning human being..even animals show love and compasion for their babies..why are you with someone who is worse than a didn’t mention that you love the guy,I’m hoping you don’t. I mean what’s there to even love about him..

  9. I’m currently going through the same.
    I decided to let him be. Told him I won’t bother telling him anything anymore I’m tired of his immature behavior however I won’t stop him from having a relationship with his son but he must be rest assured I that I won’t allow instability in my baby’s life. Do what is best for you and your lil one let him go and remember a happy mama = a happy baby

  10. Thank you Mike for not elevating my blood pressure today and triggering my already volatile mood. This day is saved thanks to today’s post. I sincerely hope you are doing well.

  11. Well thought Jack my brother, Sisi don’t allow yourself to be played like a ball, ngumntu omnye ungathi wamfumana emfazweni lomfo. Move on with your life and surround with people who cares about wellbeing. Good Luck.

  12. Wow five million five hundred…Interesting as always. Thank u bra mike. Q n A:I say let him be mute for how ever long he wants.Do not stress urself with his immaturity n childishness. U can b a single parent coz he has already sidelined himself from parenting. Ur financially well off so forget abt da moemish

  13. Hi ke, you won these time around Cc lets hope Nicollet wont sue you love and please stop fighting it doesn’t help but lower your standard

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