YES 110

Posted on Posted in Young Employed and Single

Mbilahelo Mudau where do I know you from?

Anyway having police at your door is not a nice thing.

“Sir, please I can’t let you in because I don’t know you. I don’t know if you need a court order or what for me to talk to you but alone I am not going to talk to you. Please leave!”

I said sternly. The two cops looked defeated. I think they did not even have a comeback but it’s not my fault that we cannot even trust our own police.

“Its ok maam but we will be back. Here is my advice, get a lawyer and talk to us with your lawyer present. This is a matter that is not going away.”

He told me. His white partner was already annoyed and he walked away to the car leaving Mbilahelo alone with me.

“You are very persistent, go with your partner!”

I told him as he remained standing there.

“It’s not even that. It’s just ironic but I know this company. My sister in law was working there and she always used to complain about the racism there!”

He explained. Was that the link?

“Your sister in law? What’s her name maybe I know her?”

I asked him curiously. Maybe I had met him before then that’s why he was familiar.

“Not really sister in law but she is dating my brother and has been for years. Her name is Rudzani!”

I wanted to burst out laughing. Of all the rotten luck in the world.

“So I take it you are Azwindini’s brother?”

I asked him.

“Yes I am.”

Amazing stuff indeed. I stood there, both hands on my waist because shock does this to you. What the hell was going on in my life really? It’s like someone was playing with my life and emotions. They had strings controlling me and were busy laughing at me as they turned in screws.

“Oh you know her?”

He asked me. It was too late for me to take back that I knew because there was no doubt that he was going to ask her about me.

“Yes I do. We shared an office before she moved to Cape Town. She might not know it now but it was the best decision she ever took!”

I told him.

“How so?”

He asked me.

“Its one of those companies that destroys you from within if you know what I mean.”

I told him. She had never mentioned him before. If anything I thought Azwindini was an only child all along not that I ever asked. Truth be told for a long time I imagined she had made him up. Girls do that.

“Yes I got that. Please don’t be hostile when we are trying to get to the bottom of this. Our job is to investigate the police not the public.”

With that he too left. I decided that I was not going to just sit here and do nothing. I went to the hospital to see my mother. She was much calmer and very relaxed when I got there.

“Lungi I was just thinking of you!”

She said when I hugged her.

“I am here mum is everything ok? How are you feeling?”

I asked her.

“I am fine hey. Nothing is wrong with me. I have asked me to allow me to go home but they said tomorrow. I am excited. I can’t stay here too long with sick people!”

She said teasing some lady who was fast asleep.

“That is good then as long as you leave when you are 100%.”

“Lungi I am worried about you. I know you don’t want to hear me say this but you need a husband and kids. Even if you don’t want the husband part you need kids.”

She started to lecture me on her favourite topic.

“Mum come on!”

I told her.

“No my dear you do not listen. You will be 30 very soon and looking for your first child. Does that even make sense for you?”

She asked me. My mother annoyed me so much when she came up with this conversation and usually I ran away today I could not. It was just me and her.

“I will get a baby soon mom don’t worry!”

I reassured her.

“When is now? You can see I am starting to fall sick. One day I will fall and not wake up then what? You want me to die without ever seeing my grandchild? Please don’t let me go that way!”

She pleaded with me. I felt a bit guilty for once because what if she had died. The one thing she had only ever wanted was a grandchild.

“I won’t let you down. I have to go now mum I still have things to do!”

I told her. She hugged me and I left. That conversation had gotten me so emotional but its ok I will be fine. I had a lot on my mind especially as to how I will get out of this mess. I called Nthabiseng.

“Two guys from IPID came to my place when I got home. They wanted to ask questions but I refused to answer them without a lawyer present!”

I told her.

“You did the right thing. They must try meeting you at our offices. They might be investigating the police but if you are implicated then you will be arrested.

“You said Mbuso paid the bribe and you did not know about it?”

She asked me.

“I can’t say I did not know about it completely but yes he did why?”

I asked her.

“Well because Mbuso is the guilty one not you so you might end up having to send your friend to jail to save yourself.”

She told me and that is what I feared. I had thought of this too and it’s true I had not paid the bribe but it was done for me.

“I hope it won’t get back to that.”

I told her.

“Don’t you have friends in the company who can advise you?”

She asked me.

“I am sure there is a way around this but dropping your lawsuit against them is not an option because you will end up walking with nothing.”

I was trying to think of who was high enough to talk and ask for advice and the only person that came to mind was Susanna.

“Ok then let me see who I can call.”

I told her. When I got home I had think through my strategy. I had a plan and I knew it had to work but how was I going to do it. I really had messed up this time because where I came from talking to the police was not a good thing. When you find yourself the subject of constant debate and in this much trouble the truth is you need to do something to turn your life around. I needed a break and this was my moment. This company had taken so much from me and now I had to take back my dignity.

“Hey Susanna how are you?”

I called the only person in the world I could think of. Imagine, Susanna whom I had made it my life’s mission to call racist and the sort.

“Lungi it’s good to hear from you. What’s going on?”

She asked me as soon as she recognized my voice. I told her the whole story as it was and she listened attentively.

“Cobus Van Zyl is an evil man if he can scoop that low. For a married man with three kids you would think he would have better humanity in him but no clearly not. I will find out what I can do for you but I am afraid my hands are tied. Wow, he accused you of theft. I wish you can sue the crap out of him. That man has made your life miserable!”

She lamented with me. We were never friends when we worked together but she had been more of a friend now than ever before.

“Married man with three kids… Imagine!”

I said out loud. What could I do though? They were coming after me or rather he was coming after me. Then it hit me. The answer was right in front of me. I had Mr. Van Zyl’s number from when were arranging the deal with Simba.

I called him.

“Lungi you should not be calling me what do you want?”

He said in a rough tone when he picked up but it’s not like I expected any less from him.

“I should not but I have one question for you! Well Mr. Van Zyl where were you on the 14th of December?”

I asked him.

“14th of December? I don’t understand.”

He said and I don’t blame him because I would not have remembered a random date.

“Protea Hotel Wanderers. I saw you kissing Nicolene in the restaurant and yes I have the video!”

I told him bravely.

“You have what?”

He asked me furiously.

“I know your wife; I have seen her a few times when she came to the office. I wonder if she is into threesomes because if she is not, you are about to have lots of drama!”

I told him calmly.

“You would not dare! That’s my family you are messing with!”

He said angrily.

“No sir, you would not dare because that’s my future you have already messed with!’

I responded defiantly.

“You know what to do!”

I told him and with that I hung up the phone!

*********The End************

@diaryofazulugal
Mikeatdiary
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Mike@diaryofazulugirl.co.za

Dear Mike

I would like to thank you for the wonderful reads over the years. I wish you all the best.

I am 41 and have been married for 13 years. My husband and I started dating at school so we have been together for almost 20 years. The relationship has died. We don’t talk anymore and even when we do we sound like an old couple. He is very traditional and when I try anything new even a recipe he does not want. We don’t go out unless it’s to do grocery shopping come pay day. We don’t attend weddings or funerals together unless it’s on his family side. If it’s mine I can take one of the kids. He does not really go out much as he drinks moderately. I cannot go visit anyone and what’s worse when people come visit me he is uncomfortable. I feel like I am in a prison. I don’t know if I still love him anymore to be honest but I also don’t want to break up our home. I am scared of what is out there and to face it alone if I leave. We have 3 kids together. What do I do to revive this marriage? Should I even be bothering to try?

Thank you

Unhappy

24 thoughts on “YES 110

  1. I had typed a very long comment to Unhappy and our internet dropped mxm just when I had clicked on post mxm:(

    1. Rather do it on your email drafts or notepad, its easier to cut and paste coz internet never loved us 🙂
      Askies!!

  2. Thanks Mikeesto, Thinks looking up for Lungi but I still smell a curve ball around the corner.

    Unhappy, When I left a 10 year relationship my ultimate reason was being unhappy. I left because I chose happiness, even though I had wronged the other more than I had made right by her, I still up and left. You cannot substitute happiness, you cannot compromise on it. In seeking happiness you need to be selfish because it will be you and you only that sleeps with a heavy conscious of feeling unhappy.

    Some make their own happiness whilst still in an unhappy environment, I say why does one have to manoeuvre around such in the first place, should happiness be what we strive for above all? Even with success and wealth, no money in the world can buy you happiness. So sisi omdala, sit yourself down, drink a bottle of Smirnoff, this one specifically because it will achieve the objection. You need to get drunk and you need to tell this man how useless he has become. If he can’t make you happy nje emotionally, even if he is Patrice Rich and hunky and good in bed, he is useless.

    Yea you have 3 kids and yes you have been together for two decades but so freaking what, Winnie was with Madiba and waited while he was in jail for 27 years and he still left her ass. Yes he might’ve been motivated by the cheating but he was unhappy, up he left. Life is too short to be unhappy sisi, no amount of excuses or road blocks can ever justify you being unhappy with so much to be happy about in life.

    You have a husband that is always home with you, that drinks moderately, I will assume he never cheats. You have 3kids a roof over your head and I will assume you work. He wants to constantly be with you and the kids and is uneasy when strangers invade your haven… You feel like you’re a prisoner in a home you helped built, your warden is your husband that you said vows to and swore to love and cherish til death. You write to us in a crossroads regretting possibly why you got married in the first place to this traditional man that has no social life at all? Why have I heard this before though?

    If you want to leave bounce, don’t let us justify it by experiences unique to our lives. If you can fix this, which I’m sure you can, fix this. You are 41 years old, you are married for 13years. I refuse to believe that this just suddenly happened, you played your part in this dull lifestyle you find yourself in so do something bout it baby.

    Jackzorro

    1. ‘Ýou cannot substitute happiness, you cannot compromise on it. In seeking happiness you need to be selfish because it will be you and only you that sleeps with a heavy conscious of feeling unhappy’- well said Jackzorro.

      When I turned down two marriage proposals people did not get it and those who were proposing could not get it. I simply could not see myself married to anyone because I really enjoy being by myself…and as Jackzorro puts it, I decided to be selfish because when I looked at the future I did not see myself happy if I was married to ‘someone’ for the rest of my life.

      Mrs. Unhappy, I think being in marriage means you would have to feed off from each each other in order to be able to sustain the forever relationship you both committed to. Now if one part of the two is taking and not giving back to the other, one ends up drained and result in having nothing to give. This is when the selfish aspect has to come in, you need to find your happiness which is something that easily feeds the soul that has reached the stage of being depleted. It does not look like you will be able to change the way your husband is but you can definitely change how YOU can continue with the ‘forever contract’ that you have with him by feeding your soul yourself (getting your happiness) so that when you come back home, you exude and give the warmth and love that a wife and mother is supposed to give. In your case, it could be just to take a time out from your family altogether (SELFISHNESS) for a brief moment to work on yourself. Ultimately… you are the one person who is responsible for your happiness. Ms. P has said it already, he might be happy with how things are and he has his happiness there…so, girl, find yours.

      Cheers!

  3. Mrs Unhappy, at 41 you probably didn’t just wake up and realise your marriage is boring, he couldn’t have changed overnight. You need to find out what about this you don’t like, take some time out and find yourself without your husband’s blinkers. Take a holiday, by yourself or with your kids. Go figure out what makes you happy. Take 2 weeks of leave and take a shot left, go and be bored by yourself until you find the one thing that you enjoy. Speak to your husband after, when you have more perspective of what it is you’re unhappy about. See if this is something that you want to change about your marriage. You might discover a passion that you didn’t even know you had. Or you might find out there’s nothing wrong with your marriage, you just hit stagnation and wanted excitement.

    It’s not fair on yourself, your kids and your husband to have you unhappy with the situation and see the negatives only in a family you’ve built since you were young. Start looking at both the positive and negative and decide for yourself what you want out of life. Your husband might think you’re happy with the set up because you’ve put up with it for so long. Speak to him, tell him how you feel and decide after what to do, you might find you’re happy with your life after all. For some people, a routine life is the best.

    Lastly, remember that you are responsible for your own happiness, not even your kids can help you with that if you don’t know what makes you happy. Go find your happy and bring it to your family. Speak to your husband, you’ve known him for 20 years, in 10 years, you will have been with him longer than your own parents.

  4. Mhm thatha Lungi, can Mr Van Zyl seal the deal without unnecessary costs of going to court already Eix re kgone go berekana le taba ya go thwasa.
    Thank you Mike for a great read.

    It’s only 1/10 marriages that still have a spark after spending decades together. Hence why we have a high rate of divorce, cheating partners, and well a lot stay in the broken marriages and compromise their happiness for their kids, so the question is are you willing to risk it all and go for your happiness that’s if you’ll find it or try harder to bring back the spark in your marriage???

  5. Lungi needs to just go Twasa!!! fast because this is all so depressing, the fossils are most definitely pulling strings here!!! And why should she have the baybie? what about her married sister…? Like JackZ said, people get married to multiply!!! Lungi’s mum le ene o tsenya stress!!! how is she going to multiply without serious potential donor……..

  6. Yes Lungi yes!!!

    @unhappy, Sometimes people are happier apart. You have realized that you are unhappy, maybe your husband has not, so therefore you need to talk to him and you will be able to make a decision judging from the way he responds.

  7. Ta Meneer Mikie!
    Mrs Unhappy @41, sounds like Mid-life crisis to me. There are 2ways to solve. U work with yo hubby & try to ignite the spark in yo relationship. Send the children away & just be the two of U at home or on a shortleft vacation. Or U do it alone but it’s risky bcz U cud be tempted to go astray. That cud lead to complications U cannot handle at times.
    Leaving yo marriage without tempting to resolve yo problems is cowardice. U will be taking the easier route & what will U be teaching yo kids? That when the going gets tough U quit.
    By simply getting out does not guarantee U finding happiness. U cud regret yo decision in 2yrs. There are lot’s of single parents wishing they cud have tried harder to save their relationships. Most end up being a skaftin of somebody else.

  8. Mid life crisis sisi, those who wanted happiness anD left left the boring husbands bayazisola. Try to go for counselling and get professional advise. Even these groups at church will help you deal with this. It happens to a lot of people akuwena kuphela. U r in a different phase in your life. Imagine, uzothi uyamshiya, Wena ozosala with kids and he will get himself a new mini cooper. Uzozenzenjani izingane wena, u can’t start ukuyojola at this age. Sisi, lungisa umuzi wakho, do a research of how to solve your predicament and be close to the Lord, He can whisper words of wisdom in your soul on how to survive this. Remember 20 yes ago u felt it was the best, 20 yrs later akusafani. Trust me if you find wisdom to go thru the the next 20 yes u wud have fulfilled a dream of seeing the next generation of your offsprings. Nabantabakho wud have learnt from a warm home with parents

  9. Dear Unhappy. I get you. I am also 41 and I was also unhappy in my 12 year marriage. I was unhappy bcause my husband was unhappy. I tried so hard to make it work. I begged, I cried, I fasted and prayed. He still left. He left me twice. We have 2 girls a teenager and a toddler. My toddler asked everydat a d night for her daddy. The teenager became my rock she used to tell me that the only consolation was that the house was quiet. She told me to look at myself. She used to say mom you are beautiful if he does not want you then that is his loss. My husband came back her wanted to work things out. He told me that he missed me. He missed a home cooked meal. He missed cuddling. He even said that he was misserable without his family. He asked to come back. He asked that I take him back. He is back life is better. We are tiptoeying around each other but I am glad he is back. He tells me how much he loves me and how much he missed me. I have not asked him where he was or what he did. What I have noticed is that he is using protection and he has asked me to go with him to see our family Doctor. I am going and I am hopeful because as much as I have been hurt I love him with all my heart. When he was gone I found myself I know wha I want and I am happy with life. Him leaving me gave me a chance to find myself as hard as it was it was all worth it.

  10. Unhappy wena nkare u have reached midlife crisis nyana nje, the only thing u can do is spice up ur marrige sit that man of urs down n talk to him, reflect on what brought u together in the first place go bck to that place n work on ur marrige nobody said it was going to be rosy waya waya, the comes a time wen its not working, u not talking to each ada all of a Sunday lol ur all lovey dovey. Bekezela cc getting married is easy but staying married takes hard work it comes with all phases in it this too will pass just communicate with ur man before u lose something with nothing

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