Young Employed and Single

YES 105

There was a time when my sister was my best friend. We were like one person. Even in the early stages of her marriage

we were still this close. When her husband started abusing her she would come to me for advice and I readily gave it. I know people warn you that do not seek marital advice from a person who is not married. I know they tell you that only another married couple can tell you how to get things right. It may be true I guess but how many marital counselors are divorced or cheating? I am sure it’s a lot. However, there have to be boundaries whether we are blood or just friends. I was wrong I know and much as I would say I would bring a whole lot of hurt to any person who hurts my sister cry maybe she was right that I should have not beaten up her husband. It’s not even a fine line in the sand, it’s a big Great Wall of China if I say so myself. This thing was causing a rift that had to close soon otherwise we were going to be like my mother and aunt. Look at your siblings and imagine not having them in your life in future? I was facing that prospect.

“I am sorry.”

I said to her. I did not fight her back on the jab she had just done.

“Sorry? For? You can’t apologize for having a good time at a time like this.”

She said sarcastically rolling her eyes at me. My sister was good at making you feel guilty.

“No sis, I am sorry about what I did to your husband. I crossed a line I should never have. No matter what my intentions were, I was wrong.”

I told her. She looked at me a bit confused but unmoved. I walked away from her. I was feeling a bit weak so I wanted to grab a snack by the cafeteria downstairs. I saw it when we walked in.

“I am going to buy something to eat, do you want something?”

I asked her as the gap between us grew.

“No thanks!”

She responded. At least she responded. Maybe I had gotten through to her but this is my sister, the woman can keep a grudge Shem! When we were in high school, there was a girl that used to bully her. That was like when we were in grade 10 even. They had a physical fight and my sister unfortunately lost. Fast forward eleven years later, that same woman who used to bully my sister, all born again, living in Cape Town mind you and educated applied for a job at my sisters company and guess whose lap the application fell on, Pam! Lol. She recognized her immediately and invited her for the interview, all the way from Cape Town only to tell her that she just wanted to see if she grew horns like the devil she was and now she can fuck off! Anyway that’s how my sister tells the story but the point is my sister can keep a grudge.


Simba said from behind me in the cafeteria shop.

“Oh I did not see you there!”

It’s true I had not seen him. He had said he was 30 minutes away and that was 45 minutes ago so I was expecting him.

“Yeah just wanted to buy some Mentos that’s all before I called!”

He said with a guilty look on his face. No one wants bad breath I know. It’s a complete turn off.

“I am actually going to see an aunt of mine who works here before I join you. I called and she is on shift. Give me a few minutes…”

He said.

“Ok cool but please when you come back please take me home so I can pick up my car.”

I asked him. I was not sure my sister with all her moods would give me a ride. He agreed and walked away. When I walked out of the shop I decided that I needed fresh air. After almost sleeping jail fresh air helps. There was some construction towards the corner of the hospital yard. I mention this because two constructions workers walked towards me. They were so dirty as though they had not bathed in days. No one paid any attention to them. One of them pointed at me and they both laughed. The one who pointed made a low whistle and I was just annoyed like really. I wanted to walk back in because somehow I felt uncomfortable. It’s not like they could do anything but we do judge a book by its cover.

“Hello my sister!”

The guy said with biggest grin I have seen in a long time. Every girl knows there are people who should never talk to you in public and construction workers often fall in that category. What kind of bad thing would you have done t God for this guy to even remotely think he can talk to me mxim! Really! I ignored him but he was not deterred!

“Naye yellow bone yellow mellow, intombi ehamba pezulu kwa manzi!”

Here is a yellow bone, yellow mellow. A woman who can walk of top of water.

He started and he was literally dancing doing some funny step dance!

“Intombi ehamba langeni kodwa hayi shiyi mthunzi! Sssssssss!”

A woman who walks in the sun but does not create a shadow

“Spoko straight, daywalker, DW hawema! Ssssss! Eish eish eish”

He hissed at the end and held his head with both hands before he did a little dance as though he was dancing pantsula with the Trompies back in the day. That was a time to be alive and the fact that he was wearing overalls and ama safety shoe just completed the look. He was missing the sporty though but he was almost there. This was not happening. I turned around but did it deterr him, no! It just had to be the uglier of the two that had taken interest ah mara and guess what, he was dirtier than the other! I don’t know how its possible he could be dirtier, with all that dust and grime on their faces talking to me. He stepped away from his friend who was laughing and said,

“Ntombezana kahle hahle ngicela usondele sizo khuluma indaba zethu ngoba mina nawe siyafanelana!”

Girl can you please come closer so we discuss our things because you and me are a match!

Was this guy serious. Was he honestly doing this but ladies know this, there is no one braver than construction worker. It’s like all that hard pap they eat, at sis o ma’s corner gives them even more guts than a CEO. They have no sense of occasion, if it makes sense at that moment they will hit on you.

“Yaz ntombi ungishaya dingdong nase maphupheni uyangihlanyisa”

You know what girl you mess with my mind. Even in my dreams you make me crazy!

“Umuhle ngathi ugeza ngo bisi, ukhanya ngathi uyilanga! UFord Kuga, pele pele ya matshonisa no January, yazi wa shisa!”

You are so beautiful as though you bath with milk and you are bright like the sun. You are a Ford Couger, peri peri of a loan shark in January, you know you are hot.

They become poets these guys. You ask yourself when do they think up these things. Worse if its a Zulu origin guy he will do like a small dance as though you are those girls in maskandi videos. Nguwe uVan Damme of the moment madam speaker. Yah neh, now I wish Julius was not friends with the DA because imagine the things he would be saying about Honorable Phumzile. Iyoooo! Its like that shield advert which says Ong nka o kare go na le ntwe e hweleng ka fase ga ma kwafe! It smells like something died under her armpits! That’s how Julius would be behaving but guess he stopped wanting the land back sigh! The guy was not done and I just wanted to go and stop being wooed by this dirty but funny man.

“Ma Unga ngi coma ngiyakhu thembisa ngizo ku khotha nje nge ice-cream ngoba ubaba nje nge shugela”

If you say yes to me, I promise you I will lick you like an ice cream because you are sweet like sugar.


My defences broke I burst out laughing because truth be told, it was funny. I promise you whether you are having a bad day or not these people are funny. The problem with these construction worker guys however is that if you ignore them bazokutshela indaba zakho!

“Waze umuhle sisi wam!”

You know you are beautiful my sister!

And just like that he walked away. He was not aggressive like those queue marshalls on Bosman! He simply walked away and I responded,


At the compliment. I was actually smiling after that, I am human. Who does not want to be told they are beautiful.

“What’s happening?”

Simba asked when he arrived as he saw me laughing still and my hands in the air stunned.

“These construction workers said something funny that’s all!”

I tried to explain but he did not really understand nor see the humour in it. Culture clash! I knew Simba could speak a bit of our languages but how many of you are willing to date and marry a guy knowing that for the rest of your life in your marriage you will have to speak in English. I get tied of it the language at times. Ahhhh, he does not even know what ama skopas, ice, ikota, spykos, Kideo on SABC is… The things we grew up on. I can’t forget Dragon Ball Z, Pikachu all things I am certain he did even know. When you date a foreign person there is a major culture clash to be honest and you have to explain everything to each other just to have background and context. You sacrifice a lot in the name of love.

With that Simba was out of the running!

“Please take me home!”

I told him and he nodded.

The culture thing, English all the time… Sorry Simba!

******The End********

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Hello readers, Im a 22 year old currently in my final year,i have been dating this guy for about 3 years now and he’s currently working in another province now,Things in the past 3 years have been rosy and wonderful but last month when he came to visit me i found a text in his phone showing how he’s been pursuing a gal from his work and that he’s single..I got angry and asked him why did he do that,he said it was a moment of weakness blah blah my Problem is I can’t seem to forgive him,im very faithful and a good looking girl and I’ve been denying men left right and centre,Im currently doing practicals at a certain practice and my boss is pursuing me soo bad thinking of febing nyana le nna.

Is it wise?

Thank You


24 thoughts on “YES 105

  1. Good Morning Revenge

    Firstly, your problem is that o rata dilo. Why go through his phone in the frist place? Unless if it’s some stupid agreement that you have to go between each other’s phone, which would be idiotic.

    Secondly, feba on your own terms. You can’t want to oen your legs because you assume that the boyfriend(who is single) is doing the same. Spread your legs because that’s what you want to do. Remember to be safe(condomise), you won’t be the first intern that your so called boss(without morals) will be sleeping with. This chap is supposed to be mentoring you and licking your cake.

    If i were you i would empower myself and care about dicks later.

    Teke car of yourslef. O sale ngwana!

  2. Great start to the week Mike! Aah but Lungi give Simba a chance pleeeez! You are right tho, having the same culture does make things easier. Revenge eventually within long distance relationships this is going to happen. This is the one text u saw there couldve been many more that were kept well hidden from u. I think if you considering other male interests, its time to move on then girl. Two wrongs dont make a right. All the best!

    1. Ga a batle nnyalo… complaining about mechanic, complaining about successful guy who is on her “level”…. how old is Lungi again? she must be 22yrs old like this intern.
      Sisi… leave your very “single” boyfriend. heal. take your time and find a guy in your province. and NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO NOOOOO!!! to your boss, now and even later in life. NO!!! DONT PLAY LIKE THAT… NOT WORTH IT

    2. Ga a batle nnyalo… complaining about mechanic, complaining about successful guy who is on her “level”…. how old is Lungi again? she must be 22yrs old like this intern.
      Sisi… leave your very “single” boyfriend. heal. take your time and find a guy in your province. and NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO NOOOOO!!! to your boss, now and even later in life. NO!!! DON’T PLAY LIKE THAT… NOT WORTH IT

  3. Thanks Mikeesto, as for the guy was dirtier than the other lmfao!!! khala abo ‘Dudlu’ left and right 🙂

    Intern, scroll up to the first advice and proceed.

  4. Lol just like that Lungi? okay ke bymme Simba..Maybe your sister will be fine now, maybe she just wanted an apology

  5. LOL the construction guy got me blushing! Thanks Mike!

    As for denying Simba because of cultural difference! How close minded is this highly educated Lungi woman? Isn’t the difference that makes thing exciting and interesting?

    Revenge. If ufuna ukufeba feba mara ungafebi to avenge your boyfriend’s febing ways. It is your body that you must use not his. Your boss is a no go zone! For a million reasons but the most important one is that it’ll ruin your career. You’ll be known as the intern who fucked her way to the top, no matter how well you do on your own. Stay away from your boss.

  6. Hayi Lungi, don’t discriminate against Simba because he’s from a different culture. My fiance is an english speaking South African and I’m a shona speaking Zimbabwean but we get along waaay better than I did with my shona speaking Zimbabwean Ex. hehehe

    P.S We also know what skopas, ice, kota, etc are and believe it or not and we grew up watching SABC too. Being from a different countries doesnt mean we didnt have similar childhood experiences.

    @QnA Long distance relationships are always a problem. Why don’t you just follow the advice given above? Cut your losses and focus on your career. Febing does not solve your problems honey.

  7. thanks ta Mike. lol day well made, big ups to construction workers and their confidence.
    Intern do not do not sleep with your boss. its not worth it never will be, trust me the ‘she slept her way to the top’ name tag isn’t attractive at all. u dont want that stigma attached to u.

  8. Ta brada Mikie.
    Sucking yo mentor’s b@#§ is not the best way to revange on yo “assumptions” that yo bf cheated. So many fishermen dropping their fishing hooks on U as U said.
    Do it outside if that’s what U really want & if it will give U satis. Otherwise both U can just move on. Remember “once a cheat….” doesn’t work on men only. Better not taste the forbidden fruit or U get hooked like nyaope

  9. Lungi likes Sfiso more. Want her to end up with him, they are like the perfect match.
    @Revenge, never fuck with anyone @ work you don’t want to have a bad reputation before your career starts.

  10. Besides wanting to get back at your single boyfriend. Febing with your boss is only going to make your own life difficult and awkward, these things never end well. Love yourself and make decisions that benefit yourself sis.

  11. Ok…someone clarify.Did we not just hear Simba speaking fluent setswana the other day??….Lungi dear….out of the running…hehehe…you make it seem like their many banging down your door…Mechanic seemingly cant afford you and you have zilch in common except for being neighbours….even then he’s stringing you and the pretty Doc along ( isithembu anyone?..hehe).Sifiso…well besides the fact he cheated on his wife,which will always keep you wary….he’s still mourning same late wife and not actively pursuing you….for all you know you’ve been friendzoned or even booty-call typa thingy zoned….hehehe.Simba so far has been your best bet….no apparent extra baggage,understands your lifestyle and job etc. Another thing…..we’ve never heard you speak venac with Mbuso ever, Sifiso speaks English too soooo……?#AsWeWaitAndSee

  12. @Prudence, so true, myb Lungi can even learn some tswana from him. What is a rainbow with one colour??? Jah Man!
    Lungi is like ppl who will pile up excuses for not doing something while others are finding solutions to everyone of them. Like we’re on solution 100 & she’s on excuse 101.
    Rolling my zoll as I wait 4da next post.

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