YES 100

Posted on Posted in Young Employed and Single

I am under no illusion that we live in a perfect country or that we are perfect people because if we are honest with

ourselves we are not. We have this blame culture within us where we cannot take responsibility for ourselves as a people without first placing all the blame on someone else. Once upon a time we blamed apartheid, it’s gone now but when things go wrong we bring it out and we blame it. Then came the ANC government, free health care, free houses, free money (social grants), roads, schools, hospitals, clinics etc built but guess what, we blame them for everything because as long as something negative happens it’s the governments fault. You know there are people that blame the government for rape no matter how many more police they have added and awareness campaigns plus holidays in fact. Now we have turned our attention to foreigners, those that live on the margins of our society as the new burden. What happens when they live? Who do we blame, Pedis’s maybe, or Venda’s, wait I am wrong maybe Tsonga’s? I mean after all, they are darker than Zulu’s and Xhosa’s, they don’t have as many people but have an entire province to themselves even bigger than KZN? Mmmm that’s what Xenophobia does; it makes you turn on one another. This police man had made me so angry and even in my situation I wanted to give him a piece of my mind.

“Sir, that was uncalled for!”

Simba protested and went on to say,

“I demand to see my friend. I have a lawyer on his way and I know my rights. I have just taped what you said to me about foreigners and imagine how it will sound if it goes to the media especially now with all the Xenophobia happening. Just imagine, a police man, in uniform at that saying such things? How long do you think you will keep your job?”

And believe it or not, he said this in fluent Tswana. I am certain the cop was as shocked as I was but here is the thing, because he did not speak Zulu it made him foreign? How? My mum used to have this thing where if I spoke to a guy in English over the phone her first question would be,

“Umuntu?”

This can mean two different things but in her context she was making sure whoever I was talking to was not a Nigerian because God forbid, the ancestors won’t approve. It would be humiliation on her part if I was running with a foreign man. We take it for granted but like this police man, some of us have parents who hold such beliefs too. Do we reprimand them? The answer is no!

“Why didn’t you just speak Tswana then?”

The cop asked in Zulu but Simba responded in English,

“Because I can use whatever language I want in South Africa. That is the reason why you are employed, to protect those rights. Sir, I am asking you politely may I please see my friend!”

He asked the cop again. I held my breath because if he said no I knew that I would be screwed. I wanted someone I knew to talk to.

“First delete the recording otherwise I won’t let you go back there!”

The policeman said.

“No!”

Simba responded.

“First I see that she is fine, then we make some arrangements for her, then I delete!”

The man had stood his ground and I was praying that he had not pushed him too far. Cops are there to protect your rights but mention your rights to them and they get angry. It’s a weird situation I tell you.

“Ok then, I will take you to her! I am very certain it’s the girl from the suburbs, Lungile Mbatha because you speak with the same arrogance!”

Wow!

That’s how they see people who speak in English, as arrogant! It’s this kind of ignorance that has killed this country. I am just stating facts!

“Yes it is!”

He said. There was bit of excitement in his voice even though he tried to hold his resolve.

“Ok come this way.”

They went through and I saw them walk towards me. I stood up immediately.

“There she is, be quick!”

He said and he left him to walk towards me alone. This was odd. I thought we would be given a room or something. I hugged him and he asked,

“Are you ok? What’s going on?”

He asked me two questions at once.

“I am ok. Now my former company is saying I stole something. When I left the office all they allowed me to take was my bag so how could I?”

I asked him crying. Seeing someone you know can make you lose it.

He came and sat next to me.

“I know white companies play dirty; I know a lot of people who having resigned have had such problems.”

He said to me. I am not sure if that was reassurance as to that I was not alone or what.

“We need to get you out of here first. Where is that lawyer friend of you mentioned or should I call mine?”

He asked me. My attention was distracted because walking towards us was the none other than Mbuso. That was fast. I had not even heard him when he came the way I had heard Simba.

“Mbuso!”

I said as soon as he walked in. I stood up again and Simba stood up too.

“You called your mechanic?”

Simba said perplexed. I don’t remember telling Simba he was a mechanic or his name for that matter. Wait, I had, when we were drunk, he had asked me who else was interested in me. I vaguely remember saying,

“Some guy from my complex but he is a mechanic, what can we possibly discuss!”

And we had laughed at that nasty comment. I am so ashamed right now but I had said it. I am very educated and to a certain extent I was right, what conversations would I have with my husband considering the huge gap between our intellect and our salaries.

“So how does he afford to stay in your complex? I mean on a mechanics salary he can’t be earning much!”

Simba had asked me. Crap, I had never thought of that. I will give you an example; you cannot expect to find two teachers living in Bryanston. It just does not make financial sense. They would definitely need a lifestyle audit after that. Could Mbuso be up to criminal activities I mean how else could he afford such? I could barely afford my place myself. I had thought all that in the bar drinking. These were questions that made me want to ask him more about himself but I was on a date with Simba at the time so I had to bury those thoughts. That’s how I had come to forget about it.

“Yes I called him. Mbuso hi!”

I said giving him a hug. That mechanic comment was uncalled for but again in Simba’s defence, I had told him I was kind of seeing him so I would be annoyed too.

“Are you ok?”

He asked me very concerned.

“Yes I am but I am scared. I did not do this!”

I explained to him. Simba cleared his throat wanting to be acknowledged.

“Mbuso this is Simba my friend, Simba this is Mbuso my…”

Before I even finished Mbuso interjected and said,

“Her mechanic!”

He was being sarcastic and did not even bother to mask his annoyance at that.

“Sorry man I meant nothing harmful by it. I was out of line!”

Simba said offering him his hand but Mbuso was not so courteous. He ignored and looked at me.

“Tell me how the police have treated you! I need the details!”

I was very surprised at the specificness he had asked for.

“They are so mean. Two guys came to arrest me and one was so mean I cried. He did not care and was making threats of how bad it was going to be for me!”

I told him. He stood up and made an air punch.

“Yes!!! That’s good!”

He said and looked up.

“How is that good? That is so scary!”

I asked him very confused.

“Trust me its good.”

He told me. Even Simba was confused for I looked at him and I am sure we both thought maybe the mechanic was losing it.

“Please explain we are lost!”

I said we because Simba had to be part of the conversation.

“Don’t worry he does not hate you! It’s what they do, one works hard to scare you and then the nice one will ask for a bribe so you can go home. It’s what they do!”

He said cheerfully. I always say education is every day, you learn something new every day. If you are not learning something new or teaching anything new then you might as well go and die because you are not contributing to humanity at all.

“You will not be sleeping here today I can promise you that much!”

Mbuso said. It’s amazing that the things you know usually are only amazing or great in your own field. I will give an example of a doctor, she is brilliant and amazing and knows everything in the hospital but take her to play netball and she is probably as useless as a child. That’s how it is. Simba was not dumb, he knew other things.

“How much do you think they will need?”

Simba asked him. Mbuso stiffened every time Simba spoke and I pray to God that he was not xenophobic too. I really hoped it was because of manly rivalry in front of a woman.

“I don’t know chief! I am going to find out. I might be only be a mechanic but I have friends in such places too!”

He reminded Simba of his quip. Eish le yena Simba why did he say that?

“Eish man I was out of line for that and I am sorry!”

Simba said again.

“We need to work together on this to get her out of this. How do we go about it?”

Simba asked him. I am not going to lie, much as he had disappointed me with his line, Simba had stood up in a way I admire. Pride for me is the worst of all sins. He had swallowed his pride to be willing to work with someone who he considered his inferior and knew something he did not know. Many people I tell you now do not talk to people they consider their inferiors. Look at all this xenophobic violence right now? It’s because people are not willing to understand their neighbour as they consider them inferior to them in the first place. Now I know why the greatest commandment in the bible is and will always be,

“Love your neighbour as you love yourself! By this shall all men know that you are my disciples?”

Some of these things you don’t take them seriously but they actually are that serious.

“There comes the nice cop!”

I told them and they both turned around. He was walking right towards us.

“Good afternoon gentlemen, I need to borrow her, we have to do the charges!”

He said sweetly. I could hear Mbuso’s warning in my head now but was he right about it.

“Ah officer, what charges now, is there a place we can talk?”

Mbuso asked me.

The officer acted so shocked.

“Are you for real right now?”

He asked him looking angry.

Mbuso, Simba and I froze…

Had we miscalculated?

He touched his handcuffs,

Was he arresting Mbuso for trying to bribe him!

What was going to happen to Ntheteng?

*******The End********

@diaryofazulugal
Mikeatdiary
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Mike@diaryofazulugirl.co.za

Dear Mike

Thank you for reading my letter.

I think I am losing my mind. I have been dating my girlfriend for four years now. Two months into us dating she got pregnant and gave birth 9 months later. I decided that I did not want my child to grow up without a father and I paid damages immediately after but when it came to Lobola she refused saying that it was soon we must do marriage later. I accepted because she was 19 at the time and I was 29. Fast forward to January 2017 I told her I don’t want to live like this anymore we should start Lobola negotiations. She was staying at home with her parents so she would bring our son over every weekend. She agreed we have set a date for Lobola for April. One of my uncles then pointed out that there was more to the story as to why she did not want me to marry her in the beginning. He is a doctor so he said I should get a DNA test on our son. I don’t know why I listened but I did. Turns out the son is not mine. I lost it, I almost killed her and I was arrested. I loved her and my son with everything that I had and now both are not even mine. What’s worse is that she confessed that she has been seeing the father of her child during these four years and the only reason she kept me around was because I could take care of the baby and he could not because they are the same age. In the four years I took her to school, yes it’s just a college but I paid every cent of those fees with my sweat. I took care of every bill she had and my sons now today I don’t even have rights on the child. How is that so? You know what’s even worse, I still love her and even now I want her back. Am I crazy? Am I losing it? I beat up a woman, something I despise in other men so much and now I am that man. I hate myself. I can’t eat I can’t sleep and I just want this pain to end. What should I do bra Mike? Please help me before I kill myself. I am so lost. Please tell me what to do.

I have given you my number. Please don’t share it.

Thank You

Gardens

40 thoughts on “YES 100

      1. Thank you. All chapters average 1800 words meaning you have read 180000 words on this blog amazing. 5 pages a chapter meaning 500 pages and that’s before the letter. We have done well friends I am proud of us.

        1. yaaaaaas Mr Maphotho!!!!! happpppppppppy!!!!! happily!!!! happppy!!!!!!!

          Chapter 100 and still counting!!!

          wololo!

          eish brother please don’t think if taking your life away for as long as you still have a heartbeat there is a chance for things to change. here’s my 2 cents

          when bad things happen to me I try to look at it with a positive attitude instead of feeling sorry of myself thinking of what could have. a heartbreak is not easily and something that doesn’t just go away within a day or two. however, 1. brother I say forgive her, for all this heartache she has put you in and the efforts you’ve put only to be left in this situation that you’re in. after forgiving her…… 2. forgive yourself for beating her up due to anger. you can forgive everyone but as long as you haven’t forgiven yourself it becomes worthless. 3. what is that one thing that you always wanted to do but didn’t have time to do it again? yes brother do that and enjoy doing so much that you allow yourself to get lost in it. 4. when your alone having some “me time” when the thoughts of your ex girlfriend start to creep in channel those thoughts into how you can make yourself a better person. I mean, although you seem like a very nice guy we are not perfect. what’s your weaknesses as a person, what can you do to strengths to always overpower those weaknesses?

          last but not least, Thank the good Lord that you found out all of this before the lobola. thank God that if you had married her back then you would have had a liar, manipulating and deceiving wife.

          yes the truth hurt but there is nothing worse than living a life built on another person’s lie.

          this is a blessing for you to better yourself, learn and become an even better person than before. which is her loss and the next partners blessing.

          All the best brother.

        2. we are proud of you. we thank God for your recovery, you scared us for a minute. Congratulations on the 100 chapter. I love YES with all my heart. God bless you bhuti Mike

        3. Yay to us!!! Thank God we have a share in your beautiful gift Mike and thank you so much to you and your team, we are truly blessed. Good health to you my brother!

  1. Gardens I feel sorry for you, this is how pain full life can be sometimes just go for counseling and get help, I think if she is over you just go on with your life you will meet someone who will make whole again, all the best bafo these DNA test sometimes they help you should have done them when the child was born, some women are so cruel really.

  2. Gardens, you do actually have rights to the child albeit not biologically he is yours. You were led to believe that he is yours and therefore he is yours. As far as I know, for you to have rights as the father of the child you have to have been in a partnership with the mother of the child from conception, you must have identified yourself as the father of the child and have taken responsibility for the child (e.g. Paying child maintenance, hospital bills, school fees). In my opinion you should consult someone who specialises in family law. All the best.

  3. Garderna I hear u my brother nd I cannot say I know the feeling but the one person in my life who did also killed himself recently due to that so I’m asking you to let them go for ur own good.what u just said had just happend and as I write we buried him on Saturday pls pls let them go it’s not worth u losing ur life or freedom over her.u will in time find someoy who will love u for real nd can start a family with that person. Pls find a professional person to counsel u regarding this issue nd im still saying nothing is worth u losing ur life over a woman and I hope nd pray that I somehow get through to u.all the best

  4. Gardens.
    You have been betrayed, you have been lied to, you have been made an idiot. I know this might sound very harsh. but if she marries you, (1) will you be able to forgive her. will you wake up next to her and smile. will you still love her the same way you did before you found out about all this. (2) if she has been cheating on you for this long do you think she respects you. wake up and smell the coffee. if you forgive her, trust me, she is laughing at you and your stupidity every time she is with that guy, they have names for you. MOVE ON brahhh. yes you have lost but if you continue like this you are still to loose more.
    RGDS

  5. Nami I say happy hunid :):):) Century baba that’s amazing, Thanks Mikeesto, siyabonga sbalie.

    Gardens, yazin bhuda yam, somethings in life are worth it and somethings aren’t. Your problems right now, they seem huge, they seem like you can’t escape from this but you can, and you will. You need to give yourself the chance here, remember that none of this BS is your fault, you were played, by a kid, it can’t be easy but it won’t change. Now give yourself a chance here bro, so what if you beat the crap out of her, hell I would’ve killed her. Forgive yourself, under the circumstances what else could you do? It aint no excuse to hit a woman but fethu what else could you do?

    As far as the laaitie is concerned, you can take this ish high up, battle for custody in court, you would still win. As far as capabilities to be a parent to this child, the mother has failed, she lied, she constructively made you believe that you were the father, any judge can see this psycho for what she is. she aint fit to be a mother. And yes, she will play the ‘I wanted what’s best for my child bs’ that shit don’t constitute making a mockery of a man’s heart and honesty and money for such selfish and inhumane gains. You can actually file a lawsuit for misrepresentation, defamation and whatever else fraud related charge you can make stick. This girl deserves the worst hell and I don’t know why your heart is playing tricks on you…. why the f do you still want her back my g, I mean loving her still is understandable but wanting her back? Nah dawg you need to play far away from that chick.

    Stop being in love with the idea that you guys had it good, it was a lie, your relationship, the very foundation of it all was a lie. Be glad you found out now and not in 18 years.

    I hope you heal sooner bro but allow it to happen and know that it will take time. Please don’t think that all women are deceitful like this, most may just be but there are honest women out there. Don’t lose yourself over this, rather find yourself and move on knowing exactly what you’ve been through and how it’s shaping you to be a better man for the lucky lady that the heavens are keeping for you somewhere. We’ve all been fools for love at some point, this too shall pass fowethu.

    Jackzorro

  6. Thank you bra Mike for the good read. Gardens I can’t even begin to think about how you feel, my elder brother went through the same thing, even worse he was married to the woman, for 4 years, and he also discovered in Jan, he’s on anti-depresents and going through counseling, you should be greatful that you got out this without a divorce, and you still have your entire life ahead of you. Pray and trust that God will see you through.

  7. Happy 100 chapters
    my brother udlisiwe nje wena.. yadlala but mistakes do happen n even reading ur letter i can still feel ur hurt n anger and dnt even think of gng bck to this gal she’s a cheat n a pretty gud one 4 years wonke wenziwa iside dish ungazi… u deserve better n u will get better

  8. Mara where do these people get bo brother like you, I can’t even get money for straight back for R150 dudes are paying school fees, some ladies are lucky.

    Let go!

    It’s hard but nothing ties you to them.

  9. Gardens,Dont despair dear. Pull yourself together. It might seem like its the end of the world now but its seriously not.im going through a rough patch myself relationship wise. I know how it hurts but you are not alone.Your ideal woman is out there,dont go back and don’t kill yourself she is not worth it.

  10. Yoh Gardens I know the pain a woman can cause Ive been there, Ive lost the sleep, Ive lost the weight and worst part is I still wanted her back dispite that she hurt me a few times. Trust me all those feelings do go away and you will heal it just takes time and that’s all you need. Believe it or not but time does heal. this thing of taking your life is not the answer Im sure you still have a lot to live for so goodluck dude and all the best.

  11. This letter is heartbreaking. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Please do not take your life bhuti. Nothing can ever be worth taking your life, no amount of pain, guilt or shame gets close to how precious your life is. This will pass mntase, nothing stays the same for ever. You will heal, the process is a gruesome but the end result is worth it, once this passes all you will have to show of it are the scars, but the pain will have long gone.

    Time gives us perspective, allow yourself the time you need, to be hurt, to be angry, and any other wound this has created, then decide to move on. Slowly but surely take your heart back from her, you love her yes, but YOU need to love yourself more. YOU CAN LIVE WITHOUT HER. She is not your lifeline, you are. She does not supply you with the breath you have in your body. YOU CAN SURVIVE THIS.

    If you can, please seek professional counsel, you need to talk it out. Do not bottle the emotions inside, it’s slow poison to do so. If you cant get professional counsel, please talk to someone you trust. That person doesn’t have to know how to help you, they just need to be your sounding board.

    I know you cant even see it now, but You are going to be ok. You really will. Anything that doesn’t knock the breath out of our bodies, can only do one other thing, and that is to make us stronger. You’ll come out of this. Please I beg you, I know you don’t know any of us here on the blog, but allow us to give you hope. You’ll find love, you’ll be happy and you will be whole again. This lady, she was never worth you. And one day, hopefully soon, you’ll get why. Please DO NOT TAKE YOUR LIFE.
    You are in my prayers mntase. May God be with you, may He be your strength and comfort.

  12. Lmao. Again I’ll say this, look at that beauiful speech that Jackzorro wrote because the man is the one that got cheated on. But if it was a woman, it’s bashing, name calling etc? Double standards? 😑 Rather be neutral, cause now it’s hard to take your opinion seriously because of your double standards.

  13. 100 chapters *claps*.. lets do 100 more.. thanks Mike!

    this letter breaks my heart honestly.. its so twisted how there are honest people like us looking for a love like this, yet its almost wasted on liars and deceivers.. I’m so sorry you had to go through that garden.. recovering from the heart ache of betrayal by a loved one has never been easy, but i pray you find the strength to move on from that. That girl does not deserve you. One day you will understand why you had to go through this, until then. Do not allow this disappointment to lead you to do something that will cause even more bad than good.. I too think you should seek counselling.. Good luck!

    uLife uTricky yhu *sobs*

  14. Happy 100 chapter.

    Gardens I’ve been lied to and deceived and it hurts sad part I still love him but I’m trying hard not to think of him. I keep on asking myself imagine that disappointment from my loved ones if they can find out I wanted to kill myself for a man. It doesn’t worth it. Those that I shared my story with believe I’m strong as I’m supposed to be mentally ill right now or dead committed suicide,I went through difficult time but not giving up. I shared only 5% of my life as I went through hell in 3 months

    No one deserves that,seek couselling , if you are comfortable you can give Mike permission to share your numbers. You’ll realise that some of us have more problems that others but keeping our heads up on the street. Prayer helped me a lot.

    When you’re sad and hurting her life continues as if nothing happened and I bet she’s badmouthing you every chance she gets.
    Lift yourself up,I know at the moment is dark but joy comes in the morning

  15. Happy century brada Mikie! Proud of my man!
    I agree with “debonairs”. Hard as it maybe, get some counselling & move try to move on with yo life. Cruelity has no sex, both men & women are capable of causing heart-break.
    However as men, I think it’s a bit easier to find a woman bcz we are the ones who propose (usually). A gud woman is out there waiting to heal yo heart.
    Count yo loses & forgive yoself & yo ex & the other gut. Karma is female but she’s our beloved Auntie. She always delivers.

  16. Garden, keep strong most of us have been there where you try to be the best man you can be for a person but in the end gets thrown back in your face. With time it gets better.

  17. Can we as wiman get this into ourr think scul, asilingani namadoda angikhathali ungumhlobo bani, kunjalo nje! Even education cant even change it. Umfebo i mfembo kodwa ayikho indoda efika nesisu sakomunye umuzi, but woman do.

  18. Gardens your story is sad, but it is not worth you committing suicide. Read the book of JOB over and over again until you get some sense of healing, that is my to go scripture when shit hits the fan, read Psalms 91 and Isaiah 54, the Lord is your refuge and he will never give you a burden that will be too heavy for you to carry.

    Pray and seek the Lord and he will make your paths straight, pray with a thankful heart because if it was not for his love you would never have found out.

    All the best dear, I hope the Lord gives you enough strength and be victorious over your upheavals.

  19. Sorry Gaderns…*If she said she was still young n naïve I was going to say try to forgive her* worse that she says she is still seeing him behind your back… Forget about her she doesn’t deserve you.

    Don’t even think of taking your life is someone out there far better.

    Keeping yourself busy this will pass in no time

  20. QnA
    This is a one response I have been avoiding for a while.
    Though this is not relevant, I consider it pure evil what women do of making another man maintain their litter. I believe that if men (like in your case) open a case of stealing under false pretense where you will sue her for all expenses and other things that she made you do, earth will be a better place.

    If women can be forced to pay for nominating wrong guy as a father, I think uTatakho can run out of business soon. On the other hand, the men who abdicate responsibility of their nuts should also be made to pay back with interest and penalty; then they will care where they spill their oats.

    Oh, as many have said that dont kill yourself, I suggest you to try and make her pay.

  21. Great job Mike…

    Gardens, I hope that this does not change you. You are a wonderful man. But it seems these rascals always get our men. Sigh! Don’t entertain those bad thoughts. Your life is way too precious to end over some crazy woman. Take it this way, she wanted to milk you for all you are worth but you stopped her in her tracks. That’s a good thing. Rather now than later.

    Tears dry out after a while and I believe you will heal too. Just give it time.

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