Young Employed and Single

Y.E.S 101

I think when you have children you cannot take reckless decisions. I don’t have any but that’s part of the reason why

it is like so. A child is a full time responsibility where you sacrifice everything for them. The reason why we praise single mothers is because of this one thing where they have to give everything for their child. No one speaks of single fathers. It must be just as hard for a man to raise a child alone let alone a daughter. It’s a no brainer because if you don’t take care of yourself first your children will suffer. Mbuso if he went to jail would have royally messed up and I don’t think this was an option. This bribe thing was not necessary, I had my own lawyer and she would come. She had never let me down before so why start now.

“Ah uncle you are taking this too far, all I asked was if we can talk on the side!”

He said again. I think he too was panicking a little. This was not the mean cop remember but the good one but the way he had said that reminded me of the bad cop.

“Come with me!”

The officer said to him angrily. His tone was harsh and mean.

“Leave him alone!”

I protested but Mbuso motioned me with his hand to calm down. I was not calm at all I was scared and when I am scared words come out.

“Let him go, he knows what he is doing!”

Simba said also stepping in front of me. I was scared. Simba comforted me by giving me a hug just as Mbuso turned to look at me. I felt so bad I kind of pulled away from Simba. It was just a hug though.

“I don’t want to be forward but are you seeing Mbuso? I am not the type to interfere in people’s relationship so please tell me so that I can leave!”

Simba said when he was out of the hug. I was not ready for that to be honest. It happened so fast.

“No it’s not like that. He is my neighbour. I can’t even say we are close but we hang out a lot.”

That was honest though. I was not married to the guy and we were not dating. I was not even sure of my feelings for him.

“I saw something beautiful in his daughter and I am close with her. That’s where the relationship comes from. She is so adorable that’s why I don’t want her father to end up in jail because of me!”

I told him what my immediate fear was but somehow I felt guilty of hiding behind Ntheteng. I was not sure whether I liked Mbuso or not and it’s not even because I was being difficult. Fifteen minutes later Mbuso walked back towards us and simply said,

“Let’s go!”

He turned and walked. He did not need to tell twice nor tell us where we were going but we followed him right up to the parking lot. No one asked us anything, we simply just walked out.

“Thank you thank thank you!”

I whispered loudly to him. I was not flanked by the two of them as we walked out. As fate would have it, they parked next to each other. Simba had a black Range Rover, not top of the range but Range Rover nonetheless. Mbuso had his old beat up Toyota bakkie. I could even see the grease on it. I had to decide which car to go in. Goodness! What was happening here?

“Thank you for what you did for her!”

Simba said when we got to the cars. Simba spoke as though I was his and he spoke for me.

“Anytime, it’s what family does for one another!”

Mbuso responded. That was creepy. Why was he calling me family?

“So who you driving with?”

Mbuso asked. Mbuso was toying with him because that question was loaded. He knew that whoever I chose the other had to back off. Simba had run to my rescue first and I knew I was going to have more battles with that company so I might need him for his intellect. Mbuso on the other hand had been my hero; he had saved the damsel in distress so he gets to kiss the princess no matter how old his bakkie was.

“I am going with you. It makes sense; Simba stays in the opposite direction in any case!”

I responded without looking at either of them. From the corner of my eyes I saw both men’s reaction, Mbuso smiled and Simba frowned. I really wanted to walk up and hug Mbuso as a way of saying thank you, believe me I did but I did not want to do it in front of Simba. This was getting awkward as was but he really had saved me.

“Yeah she is right. I will call you in a couple of hours!”

Simba said. This time it was Mbuso who offered his hand for a handshake of which Simba accepted. We all got into cars and then drove off. I felt bad for Simba because what had just happened was obviously a statement. I had made the right decision right?

“Are the two of you dating?”

Mbuso asked me. If that was his way of breaking the silence then this guy did not know what subtlety is, wow!

“If you should know the answer is no. He was on a contract I was working on at work and we became friends.”

I told him.

“Well he likes you. He likes you a lot and I think you like him too, I mean you called him first!”

He said not even attempting to hide the annoyance in his voice. Instinct told me to shout at him to stay out of my business but this was the guy who had just saved my ass.

“Please let’s not talk about that. Tell me what happened with the police and how come you know so much about dealing with them?”

I asked him. I had a lot to deal with but right now that’s what I wanted. This was the conversation I wanted to have for now.

“Money changed hands if that’s what you are asking. There was a docket being opened on you but that disappeared. I asked him what would happen to the people who laid the charge against you and he said that will be taken care of as well!”

He said changing radio stations.

“How come you did not ask me what I am guilty of? What if I killed someone?”

I asked him because I realized he did not know what was going on. He laughed after I said that and I laughed too. I was so relieved I was not in jail anymore. I guess it was all the emotions in me because embarrassingly I burst into reason for no apparent reason. I cried.

“Why are you crying now? You are going home! Nothing has happened! Please stop crying please!”

He begged me.

“No I don’t want to go home. I have to go to the hospital!”

“Oh yes how is your mum? I forgot to ask this morning but I had a crisis at work so I rushed there!”

He said taking his eye off the wheel. I tried to call my sister but her phone just rang. Had they moved my mother already?

“I can’t get hold of my sister; the plan was to move her to private.”

I told Mbuso.

“Let’s go check at Bara first, it’s no big deal!”

He said. It was then that Nthabiseng called me back.

“I am so sorry was out and I forgot my phone. Are you ok? Where are you? What police station I am coming to get you now!”

She declared as soon as I picked up.

“Its ok, my friends came rescued me. They said that it was my old company that laid a charge of theft against me which is not true. I have no access to anything worth stealing so it’s all made up!”

I told her.

“We need to meet and discuss because tomorrow we must respond. Where are you?”

She asked me. I told her what was happening with my mom and that I was on my way there. She sympathized, wished her well and said I should call her as soon as I came back.

“You have friends to bail you out I see. I like that. I used to keep a small circle of friends but with Ntheteng here it got kind of hard.”

He explained.

“Please tell me if I am being forward but I am a bit curious, do you make a lot of money as a mechanic? Do you own the company?”

I asked him.

He laughed fortunately.

“Why do you ask?”

I asked him.

“Well Ntheteng goes to a private school and that’s pricey, our apartments are pricey and you just paid a bribe of I don’t know how much for me! It’s a lot of money!”

I explained what had been bugging me about this guy. I was not ready for his answer.

“When Kgabo died, that’s her mother’s name, we had life insurance. With that life insurance I bought the apartment so I am not paying anything and I also put Ntheti into school. I paid up for two years in advance and should I ever wish to take her out they will give back the advance. I am a mechanic yes, don’t have enough education to be honest but I am good at it. I wanted to open my own store but I couldn’t as I could risk too much and then lose the remaining money for Ntheti’s education!”

He said but I could see a tear roll down his eyes. Eish, me and my big mouth, I should never have asked.

“I am sorry about your wife!”

I told him.

He cleared his throat to respond then kept quiet.

He still loved her.

I can’t compete with that.

*******The End**********

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Hi Mike
I would like to remain anonymous
I met a guy in 2011 and we started dating everything was great between us n we even discussed marriage. In 2014 I fell pregnant n to my surprised he completely changed n mistreated me, he even told me to take a taxi when I was in Labour. You can imagine my shock when I found out he is married with 3 kids 2 days after giving birth through a phone call from his wife, he was even denying the baby claiming I was a one night stand. I was crushed n almost lost it but eventually I accepted n tried to move on with my life which has been hard since every guy I meet has a problem with me having a baby, so I ended up with my baby daddy, we not really dating but we are sleeping together n we talk every day. I am starting to fall for him again n it troubles me but I can’t seem to stop, how do I let go? How do I detach myself from this person he is the father of my baby n his doing his bit as a father, I want my son to grow up knowing his father which makes it hard for me to cut ties with him. Please advice I feel like this guy has control over me.

21 thoughts on “Y.E.S 101

  1. Thanks Mikeesto, The things that money can buy eMzantsi… Need a new circle of friends hayi!!

    Troubled, as long as you still have reasons and excuses for staying with the douche then you aint going nowhere. This dude lied to you and cheated on his wife and kids. He made you fall pregnant under false pretences and called you a one night stand… I’ve never in my life heard of a 3year ‘one night stand’ so this guy is probably smoking cheap weed also. You almost lost it, he could’ve driven you to Sterkfontein and yet here you are opening yourself to him again… You need to be sick and tired of being a baby mama side chick, you need be gatvol and call it quits.

    You seem to also be attracting wrong dudes, I mean who has a problem with someone who has a kid when there are people on doubles and triples born in 94… Find yourself sisiwam, I don’t know how old you are but if you are around the 20’s then chill and raise your boy, maybe a man will come along, maybe he won’t. If he doesn’t, you need to be prepared for that but this settling for a married man when the wife gon’called you as a warning shot is just too risky…You will die!!


  2. I like Mbuso, he is a humble guy, no money yes but he is the type that treats their women like Queens, praying for my Kinda Mbuso every day.

    @ troubled, etswa ko that guy, he is not worthy of you let alone you wasting your pussy on such rubbish. Love yourself enough to let go, you deserve better and in God’s time he will send a man worthy of you your way.

    For now focus on raising and being the best you can be to your child!

    1. I know the Mbuso type😢 and they are capable of loving plus are humble but they know how to juggle multiple women aswell.

  3. Troubled khoyeke uba dom tu, what kind of a father othumela a woman in labour to take a taxi to hospital, hayi marn people like you will be punished by God yhazz on judgement day, hayi suka marn

    1. Leratho he did that because of Lungile’s history with the men he has seen her with, Azwindini, Sifiso, now Simba, Mbuso worships Lungi, he does not love the doctor, I think he was trying to make her jealous and this is blowing up in his face something I doubt he predicted.

  4. Troubled: You make me wonder if your brain works. How do you forgive someone that has treated you so badly? Have you given up on yourself so much that you will settle for such crap? He will never leave his wife for you. The fact that he is supporting his child shouldn’t be a surprise to you because he is doing his fatherly duties. Move on with your life and choose to love yourself enough to let go. He has no control over you, it is all in your mind…

  5. Mara troubled.. why does it sound to me like you are seeking validation from men? if no one wants to be with you because you have a child, be alone. Focus on your son and yourself. If he’s doing his bit as the father, why are you worried about his relationship with his son? You are making excuses. Just stop sleeping with the man and start healing. You’re not falling for him again, you’ve always loved him and that probably wont go away but you need to respect yourself and walk away from that mess.

  6. Dear Troubled, I can’t say I’ve been where you’ve been but I’ve been in a position where I needed to find myself and start making decisions that make me be at peace with myself and my life. You don’t have to be “iNandos” ya baby daddy wakho when he is tired of his “home cooked meal” and stop using your poor son as your excuse because he can be in your son’s life whether you sleep with him or not. Take a stand nge life yakho sisi. Do some self therapy, pray or meditate, whatever you believe in. Read motivational books. I read “You are Bad ass” by Jen Sincero and boy have I taken my power back! I have forgiven people and most importantly MYSELF, learned to love myself and I am on this amazing journey of finding myself and what makes me happy. I have a child and I am not with the baby daddy but that’s besides the point because having a child is not a death sentence on your love life. You need to love and accept yourself first before you can attract anybody else to love you. Know what you deserve and claim. This man has no power over you. It’s you who serves him that power on a silver platter and preys on you.

  7. @ Troubled, sisi you are blocking away your keep saying you can’t find a good guy cause you have a child(personally that’s bullshit) its because you are holding on kwinto engekho and ayikho indoda ezomela leyonto. ayikho into engadluli just make a decision especially if you love your son cause you will die young sisi, believe im talking from experience.

  8. Troubled there is nothing with being single. It seems like you scared of being single. This guy will treat you like dirt as long as you keep on allowing it he wont stop. put on your big girls panties and move on. you have a beautiful baby to keep you busy

  9. how do you expect to succeed now when you sleeping with someone else’s husband?… Yes you didnt know then but Now you know…what are you doing about that?…Find yourself cause seems as you know what to do as lo life umphilayo ain’t taking you nowhere fast.

  10. Dankie bhuti Mikie.
    It’s international women’s day yet yesterday & today’s letters are truly baffling. I’m flabbergasted at these women who don’t know their worth.
    It seems they’re all caught up in the need for pata pata. That can be the only reason why these women sound so desperate. They need to be loved but they are looking for it from the wrong ppl. Where are the gud single guys? Has women empowerment dis-empowered men? God have mercy!
    Can the real men stand up & be counted? Is this where we shud encourage polygamy?Bcz we seem tohave so many women needing the comfort & warmth of a loving husband. What’s the solution?
    Bhuti Mikie, I think yo work is cut out for U. There’s plenty material for yo next book.

  11. Mbuso is perfect for Lungi. He is so grounded. Of course she can’t compete with the dead but she can be the woman he needs.

  12. Hi guys…I find that my heart is heavy laidend as I keep ready the Q&A and most of them its as if as the years go by we have become vindictive and want to validated for it. Girls who are bad find great men and still complain and cheat. The good girls sit in relationships which are suicidal. You sitting in a relationship in which you keep sleeping with a man who denied your child and mara still keep frying di chips that is SUICIDE. Ladies lets get back to cross hey…I myself I am there. Let’s mend our hearts lets seek God to heal all the wounds as only He has that power. If we don’t heal we will attract the same kak. Let’s not dance with the devil and expect God to help us.

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