Have you ever heard the saying that says,
“Marriage is a cage!”
It sounds rude or defeatist when you say it but is it wrong? Think about it. Right now I was asking for space but in marriage as a man you don’t ask for space unless your wife gives you space. In her head you asking for space is like saying you don’t want her anymore so her instinct is to beg and plead with you not to go out. On your wedding day they tell you,
“Your man must never go to bed angry at you, never allow him to do that!”
So to her especially when you ask her to give you two minutes to yourself it’s as profound as saying you don’t want her anymore. I drove home at last but not as planned. If this had backfired because guess what, Londy was right here with me. Through thick and thin they said, yah neh, masipa a bona! This is where I had wanted to be the whole time. I never wanted to go to the party in the first place now look what had happened. Londy was not a happy camper having left her sisters party earlier than she intended. In the car she kept on apologizing and I kept on telling her its fine.
“Baby I am sorry!”
She said one more time when we entered the house. The apologies could not continue otherwise we will do this all day.
“Come here love!”
I said to her standing in front of the TV. She walked over to me and I opened my arms. You know, if you have someone you truly connect with, the simplest hug can mean so much. I have never pretended for once that my wife and I were perfect.
“It was just a misunderstanding and all I am saying is that this is the last time we fight over your family!”
I consoled and warned her at the same time.
“Yes you are right! No more parties!”
She said and we laughed. Loving someone means having such fights every now and again. There is no way two people can sync perfectly not even twins. We all have personalities.
“I stole a few drinks from the party after all that! I left them in the car I am coming.”
She said and left me standing there. She did not close the front door when she went out. I watched her walk out and laughed.
“You are a criminal and if you end up in jail I will not bail you out!”
I shouted after her!
“Listen to you! Where are you going to get a wife with an ass like this again?”
She said playfully slapping her ass as she disappeared into the darkness. That’s my wife for you when her demons are not in charge funny and witty. I picked up my phone.
“Tumi mate I am sorry about today, Londiwe had a last minute party I forgot about. Can we take a rain check and work on it tomorrow!”
I told my best friend. Tumelo Tshabalala was my best friend. We grew up together and like me he also did I.T but from a different university. He was from Katlehong but now lived in the Midrand.
“It’s cool. I was also caught up. My sister needed help with something so time wise it wouldn’t have worked!”
He responded. At least that was covered. I don’t believe in excuses and he knows that so for me to make one it means that definitely it was not by choice.
“There is an outfit I bought for you baby and seeing that you only ever see me in the dark maybe today is the day…”
Londy said when she walked in. I knew exactly what she meant.
“Are you saying what I think you are saying?”
I asked her.
I told you my wife can be witty, sexy and fun. I love role play in sex and so did she. Let the games begin
Every story has a back story so here is ours. When I first met my wife it was not even love at first sight. I remember the day I paid Lobola she came singing,
“We found love in a broken place,
We found love in a broken place!”
I think that’s Rihanna. I laughed but if ever there was a truism that described her and me that was it. It was therefore not a case of I saw her walking down the street and I fell in love with her at first sight. Nope, it was not that simple. She was dating an acquaintance of mine and even then I can’t even call him that. He was someone I knew. I met her at a braai thrown by a mutual friend.
“Ecse this is my girl Londy, Londy this is Vusi!”
He said in his introduction. I don’t know how he ended up introducing her but he had. I shook her hand. He was one of those people that spoke tsotsi but like me he was also in IT. That was how we knew each other. He was from a college though and there are many of those to be honest that offer their version of the program. I will not judge but let me put it for you like this, I went to a university for my I.T making my degree a Bentley in the field and he went to a college making his degree a Toyota Tazz. Didn’t they discontinue that? Just asking. I had not looked at her twice. Its hard to take someone who dates a clown seriously. A few hours later, still at the braai she had said something off side and I remember distinctly he clapped her so hard she fell over. He was not even a big guy but the force of that clap I will never forget. I think that was the first time I made contact with her, sprawled on ground with a nose bleed terrified that he was going to hit her again and he would have had I not jumped in front of him.
I asked him pushing him away. I was bigger than him.
“She does not respect me sfebe! I am a man not one of her girlfriends!”
He said as though trying to get sympathy from me. The women at the party who saw this attacked the guy with violence. I have never been so proud of women sticking up for each other. They moered that guy proper and the reason why he could not fight back was because he knew that if he touched any one of them their boyfriends or dates would tear him apart. As she was bleeding I was the one who helped her up. She had jumped defensively thinking that maybe I was going to add to her trauma but I was her protector I guess.
“I want to go home please! Can you call me a taxi or something but I don’t even have the money!”
She lamented. Honestly ladies I don’t understand, when you are with a guy why do you go out without money. Look I understand he is taking you out but you should always have money to go home even if he promises to take you home. She did not even have airtime imagine. I would have given her money for a cab but after that slap that would have been inhumane of me.
“Its ok I will take you home!”
I told her before I even asked where home was. Lol eish I had to say lol, she did not even stay in Jhb she was in Thokoza which is the other side of Boksburg. Imagine, this time I am in Jhb North. It was a good hour’s drive and because I had already said I would in front of people I had to. People in the East Rand must date people in the East Rand! That’s the only way we can save the environment shem!
“Thank you very much!”
She said. She was still bleeding so I escorted her to the bathroom to wash up and then we left.
“Your name is Vusi right?”
She said when we got into the car. She had remembered me. I could not remember hers. Remember there were many introductions made so its ot my fault.
“Yes its Vusi!”
I told her. I was too embarrassed to ask for hers.
“Must I stop at the garage and buy you water or painkillers?”
I asked her.
“Yes please! I would have asked but you have already done a lot for me. Thank you!”
She said. It felt weird I won’t lie. One half of her face was already swelling quite visible and the eye on that side was red. Mind you this guy had clapped her just once. I am not scared of girls but having one so vulnerable was not something I was used to. You have to ask yourself what kind of stress a man would have put on a woman to allow to jump into a car with a total stranger at night and she find it safer to be with that stranger than the man she knows. She had not gotten into my car out of anger but defeat.
“I am really sorry for what that dooshbag did. He really was out of order!”
I told her as she looked outside at the street lights as they whizzed past us. I could see her tears.
“Its ok, I deserved that.”
She said in a hoarse whisper! I wanted to tell her no but I kept quiet. We had not driven far when a police cars bright lights flashed behind us. In Jhb its such a tricky thing when the police stop you especially in the East. There have been too many stories of fake police cars robbing people so now I won’t lie I was nervous but I had to stop.
A female officer came out of the car and walked towards us.
“Officer is there a problem!”
I asked her when she got to the car.
“No it’s just a stop and search please come out of the vehicle!”
She said. I hate this about Jhb. This stop and searches. We both got out of the car. Her partner was standing behind the car with his hand on his gun as though to say,
“Make a move I dare you!”
I don’t think she had looked Londiwe yet because when she came to the drivers side, the swollen lip and swollen eye were facing away from her. Only when she got to the other side did she freeze.
“Did you hit this woman?”
The officer asked me angrily walking immediately to my side. I could see her anger literally rise in moments. All I could think at that moment was,
‘Please do not shoot me!”
Meaning I stuttered forcing her to ask again.
“I asked you a question!”
She said now standing in front of me.
“No officer its not what you think!”
I explained to her but she was not hearing it. She was so angry she punched me in the stomach. I did not see that one coming. I buckled in half as he had actually hit me pretty hard.
“Officer, he is the guy who rescued me. My boyfriend hit me and he came to my rescue!”
Londiwe explained shocked running to me. The police officer looked confused for a second and said,
“Its women like you that allow men like this to get away with it!”
Angrily. She didn’t believe me looking back, much as I was angry too, I don’t blame her at all. She walked towards me and said,
“Listen here dot, if you ever hit her again I will take this gun, put it in your bum and pull the trigger!”
The police woman said. Had she not heard what Londy had said.
“It was not me officer!”
I protested again but before I could brace myself she punched me in the stomach so hard I swear it was a man who had done that. This was a Caster moment.
I just doubled over on the road as I watched the two cops walk away. Eish I wish Fikile Mbalula would have been the Minister so that I can report to him about this on Twitter but oh no, It was the General in play I don’t think he even had Twitter… Bheki!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Hello Mike and readers.
I am addicted to sex. I have been to rehab, I do counselling I have been prayed for but akuncedi. Bethuni I get physically ill if I don’t have sex for a day. I am on medication to suppress my libido and my sexual feelings but azincedi. I sometimes overdoze the meds so that I don’t feel anything.
I try to not expose myself to sexual things like porn and stuff but haikhona masengifuna ipipi angibambeki. I distract my self everytime I think about sex. My husband has been very supportive and understanding. He has been very helpful as well.
Instead of getting better it is getting worse. I can’t live like this anymore and I want it to stop. Lately I have graduated from dildos and toys into men. I can sleep with 3 men in a day and not feel satisfied. Lately, I get the kick out of being paid to have sex. I don’t even need the money. I sneak out of home and go fuck strangers.Hubby does not know this part.
I sometimes think of ending my life but I think how my kids and hubby would be hurt. Ive thought about getting a divorce so that I don’t feel guilty for sleeping around. It would hurt mys husband if he found out that I am now sleeping with other men. This thing is threatening to destroy my family. I really want to stop, please help me.