Have you ever experienced real fear in your life? Everybody claims to know what it is but not many have actually experienced it at its raw force. I was one of those people up till now. They say bad things dont happen to good people so this somehow meant I was a bad person. I was paralyzed. I did not know what to do. I looked in the room to see if I could protect myself with something but there was nothing. I could not scream because it’s not like anyone could help me now. The fear spread through my body as though it was ice water being poured into my veins. I clenched my fists so that I could steady myself and be ready to think of what to say when he came in. I needed to convince him that I was not the one who must go to this evil man. The way he had beaten her up was not natural. I looked at the monitor and I saw the evil man sitting on the edge of the bed waiting patiently. I heard people come up the stairs and I knew immediately who it was. It was Ahmed. He was turning on his word. Had he not said I was not to be touched? All religions are the same then, we all have liars. I was shaking like a leaf at this stage and even now trying to steady myself I could literally hear my teeth clatter. I heard him put in the key, O God, and saw then saw the door handle turn downward, please God. He opened the door and stepped in,
“It’s your turn, I can’t disappoint a client!”
He said so casually like this was client trying to buy Colgate at the tuck-shop and Aqua fresh was the only brand left.
“I am not going! I would rather die!”
I told him defiantly through those very clattering teeth. After seeing what I had witnessed death was better. There was going to be a war tonight that’s for sure.
“He likes that fight in a girl but you saw how cruel he is. He will beat you up for it but that’s your choice! Be stubborn!”
He said coldly. How could he be so cruel? Even if we were just his goods a proper businessman protects his investment right.
“You are weak! You said you would protect us but now you are allowing your so called clients to protect your goods! What kind of business man does that? You want us around for longer not just for one session!”
I advised him. I can’t believe I was advising a low life pimp on how best to prostitute us.
“Well I have no choice!”
He said but. I knew I had touched a nerve. I am not sure which part though. That’s when I felt it, I felt as though I was peeing and I could not hold it in. It was hot and sticky. I felt as though I was having a runny tummy. I have never been so happy in my life. I knew what it was.
“Thank you Jesus!”
I whispered. I don’t suffer from period pains like other girls so I don’t the get warning signs. I am one of those girls who always walk with a tampon or a pad in my handbag. That’s my fate but because I have seen girls who suffer from period pains I would rather have no warning than be bedridden with pain.
“Well if he wants to have sex with a girl on her period then that’s fine but it will be messy!”
I told him.
“You are lying!”
He accused me. I have never done this before and I will never do this again I suppose. No one, not my mom not my female friends nor my boyfriend has ever seen my discharge. I am super sensitive during that time of the month but without hesitation I lifted my skirt and pulled my underwear down.
“That is disgusting!”
He said angrily and stepped back outside.
He cursed out loudly from the passage. Muslim men are like ZCC men, they don’t believe that a woman on her periods should be in the company of a man. I know married people where the wife has to sleep in a different bed if she is on her periods. It’s amazing that rape for some men is not disgusting but periods are. God had answered my prayers this once and thank heavens I had not taken those pills to postpone my periods when I left South Africa as I had planned. What had stopped me? Oh yes, time! I was supposed to go see the gynae but things got hectic.
Ahmed called his lady servant. I heard what sounded like a lightning strike but that was him slapping her. He said something to him in his language that was barely audible to me. I heard her pleading then he slapped her again. This time in English he shouted,
“Clean her up you dog!”
And walk away. Fatima practically ran into her room. She was sobbing but not wailing.
“Come with me!”
She said to me angrily. I think had it not been because I had just saved myself from rape I would have felt sorry for her. This time I was perfect.
“Why didn’t you say you on your periods?”
She asked me angrily. I wanted to respond but she did not deserve an answer. I just followed and got out of there as quickly as I could.
She said when we got to the bathroom. I wish I could run away but how. I did not even know how to move from one floor to the other.
“I will bring you pads!”
She said. I was a tampon person myself but I was not going to complain. I took off my clothes and this time I used the shower. I cried again in the shower but my mind was on my girls and how I was going to look at them when they came back. Fatima came and took me from the shower and the girls were not back yet.
“Where are they? Come on what kind of a woman are you? He treats you like a dog, he is raping young girls and you just stand there and don’t protect us. Are you even a woman? Where I come from women protect each other!”
I told her which was not entirely true. In South Africa yes there are a group of women, mostly in organizations that will protect a stranger but reality is South African women do not stand up for each other. Do this maths, we are roughly 52 percent of the population, only 17 percent of us are CEOs, 30 something percent are Members of Parliament etc. We don’t support each other and it’s not just in South Africa, ask Hillary Clinton what it means to be a woman. Other women were more than willing to vote for a man who called them prostitutes, a molester and a bigot just because a woman cannot be trusted in top job!
“You need to learn your place because that mouth of yours will get you hurt some day!”
She said and left. I did not wait long. Thandeka was the first to come in. She went and sat in the corner and could not look my way. What should I do now? I wanted to stand up and go hug but my bones would not move. You just know when someone does not want to be spoken too. When Khanyi came in however it was different. Instinct made me get up immediately and run to her.
I said as I wrapped my arms around her but my best friend pushed me away violently.
“Don’t touch me!”
She hissed at me like a snake.
“Stay the fuck away from me!”
She emphasized. She went and sat down but I was not going to lose my friend.
“Khanyi come on…”
I pleaded with her.
“If only you knew how it felt. Leave me alone please Palesa.”
Khanyi said turning away from me. She hated me. She hated what had been done to her and to her I had caused it.
“I am sorry!”
I said to her as my heart was breaking at that moment.
“The day someone steps on your head because it is fun for him to do so is the day you will be sorry! The guy fucked me in my ass, do you hear me, in my ass! He told me that vagina was too loose! I am practically a virgin and he told me that! Where were you when that was happening? We were treated like animals and all you get to say is I am sorry? Get the fuck out our faces!”
Khanyi said and she best out crying. I was the enemy and this time Thandeka did not defend me. 30 minutes later, no maybe 45 minutes as I did not have a watch, Natalie was carried in. I ran to her.
“What did you do to her?”
I asked the men but they did not reply.
“Get the doctor!”
Ahmed said from the door.
“What did you do to her?”
I asked him angrily.
“It’s your entire fault!”
He said staring at me coldly.
“My fault? What do you mean?”
I asked him angrily!
“I said get the doctor!”
He shouted again to one of the men. I think someone had gone already but I was not sure.
“What do you think his reaction was when I told him that the girl upstairs was on her periods? He took it out on her!”
He said and walked. They were blood coming out from everywhere.
“Please just leave. We will take care of her!”
I told him but obviously he had to call Fatima. It’s like she did everything for him. Why didn’t she just poison him? She made his food and his drinks. When she walked in she froze a little then went into action.
“Help me clean her up!”
She said. She had come with a dish with warm water. I guess we were not going to the bathroom. She was actually crying. As she sat next to her helpless body.
“This is against everything Allah teaches! This is not who we are!”
She hissed out loud but I was not buying it. That is what all Muslims say but their people still bomb and kill regardless.
“Then do something about it. Help us please!”
I pleaded with her.
“I am going to help you I promise!”
Hope at last.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for sharing your talent with us. We can be demanding at times but it’s worth it.
I am 29 and I got married 2 years ago. I started cheating on my husband with a guy from work. It started off as just flirting then next we were having sex at least twice a week. My husband has never found out. I am not trying to get out of the relationship with this man but I am failing. It has become so routine that I must get my two sessions with him. What’s worse is that he got married three weeks ago. I was invited to the wedding but I chose not to go. His wife is pregnant already but a friend of a friend tells me that the kid is actually not his. He has not said this to me but because I am jealous I want to tell him. He won’t believe me probably and it might sour things between us so am scared. We have already slept with each other since his wedding. His wife was at work and we went to his house. I have thought of focusing on my husband but I always find something lacking in him. I don’t even know what that something is but it’s not there. If I divorce him I will humiliate him because his family loves me and always tell him that he is the only one of his brothers who got blessed. I am so confused.
How do I get rid of the other guy and how do I fall in love with my husband again?