I know my husband means well but how was he not freaking out like I was? How was he not scared like I was? How was he not losing his mind like I was? This was not an everyday average thing that just happened to a person daily, this was not like buying bread, this was his life, this was our life. What the hell did he mean nothing was going to change, a lot was going to change.
I’m sorry I’m like those people who don’t believe in donating their organs after dying because they believe that you need to go to heaven with everything or you might just get sent back to go look for your body parts that are missing, I believe in going back to the sender the way you were when you first came. “Mthobisi let’s just be positive about this okay, let’s practise faith please, I believe that you are going to get out of this pace still fully intact.” I said smiling he shook his head and said “You need to accept that there is a possibility that I could walk out of here not fully intact. It does not bother me at all because I did this to save my daughter’s life and I want her one day to see just how much I love her and I know when we tell her how I lost my legs she will be proud of me, be proud to have a father who is willing to sacrifice his life for her.” He was right I was being a brat, not wanting to understand the situation. I decided to change the topic because in my head I just could not imagine my husband with no legs, never. We patiently waited for the afternoon to come so the doctors could arrive. I was nervous as hell, Mthobisi was in so much pains at one point but he didn’t want to tell the nurses because he said the medication was going to knock him out and he knew if I stayed by myself with no one to talk to I was going to start imagining all sorts of nonsense and start freaking out about this situation so he needed to stay away to keep me sane, my husband knew me so well, he was right, I overthink everything.
When I could no longer stomach seeing him in so much pain I told him it was fine I was going to call my friends to come and keep me company, he told me to call them while he was still up, I took his phone and called Cleo, she took forever to answer as I was about to drop she answered, when she heard it was me on the phone she started screaming, I could hear people in her background asking if she was okay, she apologized and told me to hold on for a few seconds, I couldn’t hear what she was saying to the people she was talking to but after a few seconds she was back on the phone. “Ohhh my gosh Lesedi, I almost got my ass fired, I was in a meeting, I excused myself after that big scream, I lied and told them I just found out my mom had fainted at work, my boss was in that meeting he said I could go to her. Tell me where the hell you are because I am on my way.” I really missed my friends, I told her the hospital I was in and she said she was going to call She Rocks and they would come see me in less than an hour’s time. All this time she was on speaker Mthobisi smiled and said “Your friends really know how to cheer you up, look at the smile on your face, okay you can call the nurse for the strong medication.” I went and found a nurse and told her how much pains my husband was in and she said she was going to bring him medication, a few minutes later the nurse came and injected his drip and Mthobisi said it usually took a couple of minutes for him to feel the difference but this time it was taking longer, after half an hour he was still in pains, I went back to the same nurse and told her to double the dosage, she was reluctant and said the doctor had told them to cut his dosage in half, now that stupid doctor was getting on my nerves, I asked where he was and she said he had gone out to other hospitals that he works in, I practically had to beg the nurse to give my husband more medication and she eventually soften up and gave him more.
Forty-five minutes later Cleo arrived at that time Mthobisi was dosing off, she was surprised to see him on the hospital bed and not me, she had bought me flowers and chocolates, I rolled my eyes when she showed me the flowers but smiled when I saw the chocolates. “Gosh you still hate flowers? I thought you would have changed and upgraded.” I laughed and told her I could change in a lot of things but not my dislike for flowers. I told her we should leave Mthobisi to rest and we went to the waiting room, I was expecting to see my old white lady friend but she was not there. Cleo said She Rocks was now working in some fancy company, the job kept her so busy and she travelled a lot, all over the world, just two weeks ago she was in Italy and had just arrived two days ago from Kenya. “Wow, she’s doing very well for herself” I said feeling a bit envious while I was stuck in a mental institution people’s lives were going on and flourishing and mine was standing still. Cleo explained that She Rocks had been asked to be a guest speaker in some company in Bloemfontein and was on the way back from there. She asked about me and where had I been because they had searched everywhere for me and my mom had told them I had gone to some couple’s retreat with Mthobisi and our daughter, she said my mom showed them a text that I had sent her explaining that we would be away from sometime we just needed to get away from everything and clear our heads and they thought that made sense especially after everything I had been through, I told her it was all a lie concocted by none other than Mthobisi’ s mother, Mthobisi and I were not together I had only seen him for the first time in months the previous day. I told her how my daughter was kidnapped and how Mthobisi tried by all means to find her and how when he eventually did he got burnt and how now he has an infection on his legs and could get amputated, Cleo was shocked by all this. “So where were you all this time if you were not holidaying somewhere fancy. Don’t tell me Mthobisi’ s mom held you hostage and made you do your makoti duties?” she asked laughing, I shook my head and said “Even worse, she had me committed in a mental institution for months Cleo, she told them I was a danger to myself and others, I was drugged day in and day out every day when I woke up it felt like it was my first day there, the pills they gave me f’d up my mind, I was so confused and miserable.” I said remembering how much I hated that place. “Wow! That woman needs a strong sangoma to send her lightning. Remember when she tried puling this stunt a few years back when you had broken her car windows and slashed her car tyres, but come to think of it you are a bit psycho my friend, just a little bit” she said putting her index finger and thumb together to show the little bit signal.
I laughed and said “says the one who chased her husband with a knife around the house and not to mention stabbed her husband’s mistress.” We both laughed and Cleo said maybe we were both a bit crazy which is why we made such good friends. I told her I needed to call home to check on my baby, I had Mthobisi’ s phone with me and I called Mavis, she said all was well and Dineo was enjoying being home, I knew she was just saying that to make me feel better, I doubt my daughter knew the difference of where she was. Cleo and I chatted for hours it felt like I had never left, it felt so good to be chatting to my friend this was something that previously I had taken for granted, that this time I was so appreciative of it, being locked up will make you see and appreciate the things that you don’t see as important because you do them on regular basis but I have learnt that there is nothing more important than family and friends I made a vow to appreciate them much more and show them love and kindness.
A nurse came to find us and told us that the doctors were in Mthobisi’ s room and wanted to see me, Cleo and I followed her back to Mthobisi’s room, my heart was beating so hard, I was even worried that Cleo and the nurse could hear it. When we arrived, there were five doctors surrounding my husband he was still sleeping. They all greeted Cleo and I and shook our hands and each one introduced themselves. Our main doctor explained that he had sent all of them the test results and the x-ray so they were already clued up on what was going on and one of them who looked familiar but I just couldn’t remember where I had seen him explained that he had already examined his wounds. I looked at all of them and asked what the verdict was, my husband’s legs were dependant on these men in white jackets and they seemed so relax while I was panicking and losing my mind. They said they needed to talk amongst themselves and each will share his findings and get back to me, they left and went to the original doctor’s office to discuss my husband’s health.
As soon as they left I started crying “Did you see the way they all couldn’t look me in the eyes? I’m telling you they’ve all come to the same conclusion I could just feel it in the way they spoke” I said to Cleo who gave me a warm hug and told me everything was going to be okay and that I should not come to my own conclusion until the doctors have come back with the results. She Rocks burst into the room and joined the hug and asked why I was crying, I think because she saw me crying she automatically knew something was wrong. Cleo pointed at the bed and She Rocks with a defeated breath said “Oh my God Mthobisi? He can’t die please tell me it’s nothing serious.” Cleo explained to her what had happened to him because I just could not bring myself to repeating that same story again. We must have been a bit too loud because Mthobisi woke up and asked what was happening, my friends hugged him, he saw me crying and asked if the doctors had already come and I told him they went to discuss their findings and would be back.
A few minutes later the doctors were back and we all just froze waiting to hear my husband’s fate.