Majuba Chapter Two

Good Morning

A lot of people inboxed us complaining that giving you guys only one chapter of “Wololo: and “Majuba” to make a decision was unfair as it was not enough material. So today I will give you chapter two of each to balance that scale. Lol guys there is no need to be angry at me in my inbox we just blogging and its meant to be fun. Thank you for the wonderful response. Young Employed and Single therefore returns tomorrow.

Thank You

Mike Maphoto


Chapter Two

At times I feel like I set myself up for failure. There are things I walk into face first from which I should know what the consequences will be but I choose to ignore the signs. I know my wife and I know how she reacts to things yet I constantly fall for the same traps. It’s my fault really. I say trap because sometimes it really does feel like she is setting me up to fail and it works all the time. It was not always like this though. She was not the woman I fell in love with but that did not mean I loved her any less. She loved me too but ever since she discovered how ‘woke’ she could be, things had changed. She now wanted to demand rights and so on and that really was what was causing problems between us. I watched her walk in front of me and when we got into the sitting room she turned arms folded across her chest and she was fuming.

“Are you not even ashamed at yourself for openly gawking at her in front of me! I was standing right there!”

She shouted angrily. For some reason women believe that if they raise their voices you can hear them better even if you are standing two meters away.

“Love you can’t accuse me of looking when she came out naked! Why are you angry at me for something that was not in my control?”

I asked her trying to calm her down. There was no way I was going to enter a shouting match with her because we will become the very neighbours we were fighting.

“You were supposed to look away! You are so disgusting!”

She said angrily. This was not a joke to her and I recognized that.

“Baby that is not what happened and you know it!”

I tried to calm her down regardless. Look how this story had turned. We had started off going to stop a fight at her behest and now we were having our own fight. I tried to move in and her hug her to calm her down but she slapped my hand away.

“Don’t touch me! Go be with Nobuhle! It’s were you want to be right! I bet she turned you on!”

She said and walked away toward the bedroom. I followed her!

“Don’t you even dare think you are sleeping on the same bed as me? Take a blanket and get out!”

She said angrily. I was not in a mood to fight. She needed to calm down and frankly speaking, I needed to calm down too! I was angry at her for leading us hear but I was not going to make it worse by fighting angry. That’s the worst thing you can ever do. This was going to be a long festive at this rate.

I switched on the TV and there was cricket playing. It was better than nothing and the joy of being a man comes from that we get pleasure in most things that play on TV. It’s not sexist it’s just simple fact. We have sports channels, news channels as well as all the nature and do it yourself channels. How can one be bored then with all that at your disposal? I was therefore a happy camper so if she thought she was hurting me by sending me to the couch she was wrong. It was somewhere between seeing a lion get its ass whopped by a buffalo and the cricket that I started to fall asleep but guess what, the fight done with the neighbours, the sex started. I had just fought my wife because of them and now they were having sex and I was on the couch. How did it get here? It was though they were doing it to spite us the neighbours that stuck their noses into other people’s business. It was a miracle that I even fell asleep.

“I hope you remember that we are going to my sister’s place today so get up and get ready!”

Was the first thing she said when she woke me up. My wife loved shaking you when she woke you up. Why can’t a person just stand there and call out your name. My wife would shake you like a dog trying to tear open a shoe just to wake you up. It’s like she grew up in a tavern.

“I have already taken out the clothes you are going to wear because last time we went to a function you dressed like George Zamdlela in 2005!”

I don’t even know what he looked like back then and guess what, the last function she dressed me up as well. Like all women she insisted that she was stylish and we all know that is even a bigger myth than white people saying they love us. I can’t even remember what time I slept because if there was one thing I could give my neighbour it was respect for the longest fucking sessions. Let me put it for you this way, this guy fucked so long and so loud I had stopped making love to Londiwe the same time he was doing his business because long after we were done they would still be at it. It kills your spirit as a man and just brings the jealousy out of your wife. What kind of drug was this dude on really? This guy did it none stop like who was he, king kong? Only unemployed people and construction workers have that kind of stamina because how do you have such will power to generate such energy.

“Say what?”

I asked her when I sat up. She really had no chill this one. You know when you wake up you often don’t remember everything. You need about ten minutes to set your brains in order.

“Your sisters? What for?”

I asked her groggily.

“You can’t be serious. I told you this weeks ago!”

Its true she might have but weeks ago means that I could not possibly remember if she had not reminded me again. It’s really that obvious.

“She is having a braai for her birthday!”

Oh yes! I remembered now but…there was a but!

“I can’t. I have to finish the presentation. We can’t get this wrong. I am thinking of having Tumi and Senzo over so we can work on it again!”

I explained to her but she stood there as though I had stolen something from her.

“Be ready in an hour! I told you that my sister is having this braai and you said we were going. My mum is going to be there and if I show up without her favourite son in law how is that going to look?”

She asked me. Her favourite son in law my ass; I was her only son in law!

“I know love but if we get this contract you know it will benefit us for a long time to come. You want a new car right and definitely our own house in a good neighbourhood?”

I asked trying to bribe her conscience.

“Yes I want all those things but they are not happening today. Today we are going to the braai!”

She said with a cheeky grin on her face. Just like that an hour later we were on our way to her sister’s place.

“We need to talk about what happened last night!”

I told her as we drove out two and a half hours later. Remember she had said an hour and in an hour I was done waiting for her. Her excuse,

“If I finish getting ready before then it means I look like shit!”

And yup, that was that!

Back to last night! I was not going to sweep it under the carpet.

“You mean how insensitive you were towards me but staring at another woman just because I gained a little extra weight! You know you did not even compliment my outfit today?”

She asked doing her lipstick through the passenger side mirror. Eish! I had not complimented because much as my wife had many clothes, many of which still had price tags, she had favourites. Those favourites were recycled often enough that at some point I thought I was the one encouraging the recycling by giving compliments.

“Huh! What has you gaining weight got to do with anything?”

I asked her stunned by that analogy and deliberately ignoring the compliment part!

“Yeah dude. Ever since I put on weight you look at other women angithi. Even that day at the mall I saw you. I just chose not to make a scene of it!”

She said as though she had achieved some major feat.

“I don’t even know what day you are talking about! I am certain I was not looking at anyone but obviously you have convinced yourself to that.”

I told her. She was deliberately changing the focus of the topic to make it about me.

“Yes you were!”

She snapped back.

“Do you think I am that stupid to look at any other woman when I am with you? You think I want to get back home and have someone shout at me the whole night over someone I don’t even know and will most likely never see again! Come on! I am not that stupid!”

I shouted back frustrated. See what I meant! It was not supposed to be a fight but my wife had a way of bringing it out of me.

“Don’t raise your voice at me Vusi simply because you are lustful. I told you that you need Jesus but oh no, you don’t listen. You think the bible is a waste of time!”

She said to me as though oblivious to the fact that I had just shouted her. She was having a conversation on her own that’s for sure because at no point do I think it registered to her that she was overreacted about nothing.

“I don’t go to church because every time we go you want to introduce me to every woman and grandmother at church even the ones you have already introduced me to before!”

I said annoyed.

“Yeah this way they know you are mine and we are a praying couple!”

She said as we drove into her sister’s yard.

“Try not to embarrass us today by not fighting with me please! I love you baby and am so grateful to have a man like you!”

She said as soon as I parked. She ran out of the car because her sister was standing outside with some lady I did not know. I took a deep sigh because if I thought my wife was bad her sister was worst and her mother well, if Satan had a twin my mother in law was it. I hated the witch and guess what, she loved me to death!


The sister shouted when I delayed coming out. Nonjabulo was two years older than my wife. As I was sitting down and she was more on an elevated ground I could see her outfit from feet to head sitting down. She was wearing a blue skirt that was four, no five fingers above her knees. She was blessed too with thick thighs that had more potholes than a road in a township in the Eastern Cape. She was thick black woman and no I am not body shaming but she dressed like she was a size 30 model on the way to a back to school party on June 16. She was easily a size 36 and her tight outfits were so revealing they often made people uncomfortable women included me. I am supposed to compliment that! Jesus take the wheel!

“Come give me a hug!”

She said walking towards the car. I got out of the car and walked towards her. Like I said she was on a higher elevated ground meaning when she hugged she became taller than me. It is not comfortable having your sister in law’s boobs in your face whether she looked like Nomzamo Mbatha or …let me not go there!

“Londiwe I love the way he is so shy! Makes me want to adopt him!”

She shouted back at her sister my wife who was by door and they both laughed as though it was funny.

The fuck!

*****The End******

90 thoughts on “Majuba Chapter Two

    1. Funny enough the story is not about that at all. I am going for a story of a woman who meets his partner 50 50. Remember I said it’s a story based on equal rights, what a real man should and should not do in a relationship and in society according to women. If you recall in chapter one “a real man is supposed to stand up to other men when they abuse women”. That’s what all woman rights groups say. Vusi questions this when he says it’s not his problem that she married Rambo but to his wife she is telling herself that one day if ever she is in trouble she would want someone else to protect her. This is not a story about a woman ungrateful for a good man but a story about relationships in the modern age of rights equality and expectations

      1. Well ok Mike…thanks…i get it…but’s about relationships 😢 but haaik. Seeing as the masses love it, I’ll have to endure. But big ups always to you brother, you are masses of talent.

  1. Maybe because this story revolves around a guy and having a restrain from strangling such a bashful woman and this is something different as compared to the pro woman blogs we have been receiving. Majuba is a good story to have to follow

      1. There is a huge difference with Memoirs of a Tired Black Man. In Memoirs the female character had an affair and did not marry a man she loved. He said it in the story that back in high school she was the pretty chick that did not want him and when he got money she married him. They were not a communicating couple as they hardly spoke and if anything this couple over communicates. This story is not about cheating but about marriage in the new age of divorce. I wish I could show you the TV treatment I am preparing for this story to see why this story is unlike anything I have

      2. Hebanna!! is it the same Memoirs coz I don’t remember Mxolisi being dead in Memoirs, in fact he appeared again ka Realities.

  2. Ah guys! there is no marriage like this! This nigga cant catch a break I bet you he is going to be pursued by some hot chick at the braai. (there is always one) and sleep on the cuoch again. Please dont have kids. and no wife is not woke she is an emasculating nag.

  3. Personally I’d like to read Majuba, I feel like it will teach me a lot about being a strong-willed woman who won’t tolerate patriarchy but at the same time will not disrespect her partner and make him feel less than a man. So Majuba please.

    1. @yawlah tomorrow…
      I am not feeling this one.. Vusi feels like that puppy who gets shoved around.. I might get ideas that it’s ok to treat my man like that…

  4. I vote for majuba because this is something new especially coming from a male perspective. I believe it will teach me a lot regarding males and marriage. I just hope this book won’t include cheating course I’m tired reading about unfaithful partners

  5. Eish ke habedi, I see too much of myself in this lady and it scares the shizzles out of me,uyangithusa losisi,but please do carry on with this one please,i vote Majuba

  6. Entlik Mike Why cant we have both Wololo and Majuba, even if its one chapter on both every two weeks.

    Both the stories have great potential and would love to see them grow. I love Majuba more but wouldnt mind reading Wololo as well.

    Please think about it.

  7. I loved the 1st chapter of Majuba, I laughed my lungs out but I think I have reservations abt this one. There is an element like you are dissing women Mike. Can’t u tone it down a bit? Like when u said: “She was blessed too with thick thighs that had more potholes than a road in a township in the Eastern Cape”.

    Just my observation though

  8. It sounds different would like to read it further, just to get more insight on man point of view. And yes there are marriages like this out here.

    For some reason couples tend to miss the mark and conform to what 3rd party dictates.

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