Blessed 65

Posted on Posted in Blessed are the Blessed

There is a saying that says a wife always knows. Look it’s not true. She knows when she finds out or when she start

suspect because you changed your routine in something. That’s when she knows. A lot of people fall for that line but it’s actually not true. His wife knew something was up or suspected at the very least suspected that’s for sure. Did this mean he was going to dump me?

“Your wife asked you what you getting me for Christmas? Did she ask for me by name?”

I asked him.

“Yes she did.”

He said.

“Then it will be dumb of us to meet tonight. Rather g home and put out those fires. Tomorrow is another day. We can talk tomorrow but please send me money so that can start preparing for the trip!”

I told him. I had spoken like a true gold digger here. No matter what problems your blesser is having he must recognize that his reason for existence is to send you money. He needed to send it.

“Ok I will do so. Don’t worry the trip is still on! Is Khanyi ready?”

He asked me. Why was he worried about Khanyi now?

“Yes we are ready!”

I told him before I hung up. Now it was time to deal with my mum since I could not go be with Sam tonight.
I have already said my mother had another thing coming if she thought that I was going to leave with her and have her bully me. She would definitely not allow me to leave the house and give the speech of how it was her house and her rules so I must not even think of disobeying them. When I was at school I could at least make up something and defend myself. She however could not find me here. I finished packing all the inessentials which were definitely going home. As I am not a messy person most of my things were ready to go. I called an Uber and I called my father.

“I am coming to your place right now!”

I told him as urgently as possible. He already knew my fight with mom so he knew what was going on. He is the one that always wanted me to come to sleep over.

“Are you sure not speaking to your mother is a good thing especially if you want to go. Avoiding the fight does not make it go away.”

He advised me. Come on now. If I fought with my mom now I would probably only make this worse. That would not help her or me in any way in the long run.

“Dad, I don’t want to confront mom today! There is so much going on in my head including why I tried to kill myself about her! You think all her cheating we did not notice as kids. You tried to hide it but every time I think of it I wonder what if you believe that Boitumelo and I are not your children?”

I said off the cuff. Ok I don’t know where that came from because that definitely had never crossed my mind but I knew it would hit home.

“Ah Palesa how can you even think that? Of course I am your father!”

He responded flabbergasted.

“It’s easy for you to say! I don’t want to fight with mom because I will tell her all the truths people never told. Growing up watching your mother cheat can corrupt a child and worse a girl child. I am going to Dubai. I worked for it. I did not sleep with someone to do it. If mom tells me otherwise I am going to tell her the truths she was never told!”

I warned him. I knew what I was doing, or at least I did. My mother was not coming to talk. If I refused to go with her she was going to try putting me in the car by force. That was her way of negotiating. For the record I never doubted that he was my father. Hell no. We even had two identical birth marks on the small of our backs. He was my dad. With my mum cheating however, for a brief second I had managed to create doubt and that’s all I needed.

“Let me see if I can talk to her!”

He said resigned to the fate peace maker. I know when I am winning a fight. I was winning.

“Ok dad thank you!”

I said and then he hung up. There is a huge difference between men and women cheating. Men don’t get pregnant. That’s very important and the easiest way to create doubt in a man even if you cheat ten years later after marriage is questioning the children. It’s a low blow but I needed to go to Dubai whatever it takes. I was willing to sacrifice my family and my dignity for it Shem. I did not wait for him to call back.

“Your mum is still coming but…”

He said and I was about to protest when I heard the but and let him continue.

“I told her not to pick a fight and just take your clothes home as she always does. I told her that you are sleeping at my place because we had some father daughter things to discuss. She did not agree at first but I impressed upon her why it’s so important so she agreed. Le wena when she gets her don’t give her a reason to be aggravated!”

He warned me. I decided that I would listen to his advice. I cancelled my Uber and went and sat in my room to wait for her call. It took another 30 minutes before she got to me. She called from outside. I took my bags downstairs. She was crying.

“What’s wrong?”

I asked her.

“Don’t act as though you don’t know what you said to your father!”

She said curtly. My father had told her all that? Crap. He was not supposed to. He was supposed to tell her that I was not going home with her that’s all. Ah come on grootman!

“I don’t know what he told you but I am ready to talk to you about if you want. I have decided to go with you in any case!”

I said. I was feeling guilty. I don’t know how much of my tantrum my father had told her but to be honest I could fight this fight as it’s not like there was no truth in it. My mother slept around a lot when she was younger and I know that and she knows that.

“No go to your father! He is the one you think you can talk to. I am an adult, your mother and much as you think the decisions I made when I was younger were selfish, they were mine to make and I own up to them. That’s why am divorced today. I wanted to be happy and your father did not make me happy!”

She said so candidly in that UJ parking lot. For a moment I was stumped because I won’t lie I had expected denials but she had not done that. Now what! She beat me to the punch.

“So why are you crying?”

I asked her.

“If cheating on dad in front of us made you so happy why are you crying?”

I asked her.

“I am crying because I never realized that one day you could question who your father really is. After what I put him through to have his children second guess his parentage like that is wrong and for that I feel bad!”

She said. This was not the place to have this conversation. My bags were already in the boot. I did not have to be here.

“It’s ok then. If you can’t take responsibility for damaging us then be like that.”

I told her as I left the car. She drove away immediately. Let her be Boitumelo’s problem. Parents should not act like they too did not make mistakes as kids. I had done exactly what my father had said I must not do, fight her!

“I thought I told you to just relax and not fight her!”

He said when I picked up.

“I could not help it. I need to fix some things for my trip before I go. I will have to leave from your place!”

I told him.

“Ok then!”

He said in agreement. I had a bit of a problem. I now needed to go buy luggage. I did not have good luggage to start with and you can’t travel to Dubai with luggage from Game! Come on now.

“Let’s go buy luggage!”

I told Khanyi when I got to her room. With all that happened it already felt like this was a hectic day.

“I thought you had left. I guess things worked out your way after!”

She said with a smile.

“It’s not even that. Just know. That in two days we are out! Finally! I can’t even contain my excitement!”

I told her. We screamed and jumped up and down. Excited to go to a country we don’t know and not even sure that my blesser was still going to talk to me after what he had said about his wife.

Everything was on a knife edge!

*******The End**********

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

I hope you and the readers had a fantastic festive. We missed you and am glad the holiday is over.

I am a 26 year old female who has been dating the same guy for four years now. He is turning 30 this year. Our relationship is ok without being great. We have that monotony thing that we do the same things every day. It’s boring but I have learned that the grass is not always greener on the other side. We are not married but both sides of the families know we are together and are accepted. In December I met another guy. He told me to my face that this was going to be a December thing only. He is 28. I have never enjoyed life so much. The sex, the naughtiness and all that. He made my blood boil and me feel alive again. Because of the routine in my relationship I knew when to see my boyfriend so it never clashed. I would go from having the time of my life to watching TV with my boyfriend. I realized that much as I loved my boyfriend, he is my best friend I care for him, I was not happy. I did not ignore this and tried to get him out the routine. I tried to make us go out to movies or parties and after the first one, because it rained imagine, he said no more parties. Movies he stopped because he said the malls were too full and let’s rather go watch TV at home that’s why I pay DSTV. He is not a bad person at all he is just not fun. I know I am comparing him to my December fling who broke it off with me on the 2nd as he promised but what’s a girl to do. New Years Eve my boyfriend went to bed at 10pm because he said he could not understand what the fuss was about. He expected me to sleep too I totally refused. I told him I was going to church which I did for ten minutes then went and got the best sex ever. It was goodbye sex I know but still I had so much fun. Now I am back to the reality of a man I love but does not excite me. I have no regrets cheating but I also don’t want to break up with him. For the record I am not staying because of his money, I earn more than him. I am staying because I love him.

Has anyone ever loved someone and been bored to death doing it? How did you get him to put spark into the relationship? I love my man but I won’t regret not living because of him.

Thank You


30 thoughts on “Blessed 65

  1. Same dilemma, I just happen to have met someone who speaks my love language. My bf is not the type to call and say “i love you” or buy flowers and send sweet texts, let alone kiss or hug without it being during sex.

    1. My man also has the boring nature but I have come to appreciate it rather than getting frustrated. The trauma f**k boys put you through is not worth it.

  2. yoh at 30 you cant untrain him. You make him sound like he has the tendendcies of an old madhala. a great life is a life well-lived so ask him him what is it thst he wants to do?

  3. ……2017 Neh … What a way to begin the Year….. Letter number 1…… All I can do right now is just laugh I dont know why. … Tell him straight up… you want it doggy , in the car , tell him strahgt up front. Guys this is 2017 …. Lets Learn to open the communication channel with our Partners…PLEASE Now ….. Back to Tebogo… How did you fall inlove with? what is it that made you go aow when you saw him? what happended during the first year?what makes you wake up in the morning and say I LOVE MY MAN…MMMM..Damn? how did he mange to sweep you of his feet if he doesnt hit the one critical button? What did you do to get butterflies in your stomach …? Ask yourself these Qs… I hope you find the Answer…. Otherwise , you promoted him too quick.. He was supposed to stay in the Friend Zone….

  4. Thanks Mikeesto, sand storms look certain kule Dubai trip.

    Tebogo, SIGH!! #20SFEBENTEEN has officially begun huh. You are so smart, you sound so articulate, I’m actually shocked at what I’m witnessing here. So what is this, settling for less and pimping yourself for sex at the expense of your man who in all honesty, most probably will be an ex? You are bored out of your mind and you have decided to delegate your punani to some December fling and YOU HAVE NO REGRETS. Thixo wam here I was thinking that chilling indoors with your person was romantic kanti ya’ll think we boring? Then when I’m partying up a storm you say it’s too much?

    This year I think we as dudes need to get this question sincerely answered, What in the hell do women want coz manyan nyan Tebogo what you are doing is cruelty and I believe there is a special place in hell for people like you, especially for lying about going to church kanti uyotyiwa. Sies!!

    If you are so bored and earn way more than this dude who clearly doesn’t do it for any part of you except your heart, why not leave him? That poor guy probably thinks you are his wife to be… that maybe you might be the mother of his kids, akazi kanti ukuthi uthole nje some *explicit language* yentombazane. Ai no.


    1. amen!!… why is it that with most women, there is no grey area, its either black or white…. you are a good lover or you arent….. when most men love you they love you with your flaws, learn to accept and live with them. kanti where is the sacrifice that we are told of in society?…. also i think umdaka sisi wabantu, any person who claims to be self respecting and cheats, be it a kiss, via text or any form of infidelity is not a good person, frankly speaking u dnt deserve to have a stable relationship, that man is too good for you… if ukwazi ukuphisana ngekhekhe kanjalo nje, no doubts, hesitation nor regret… MI!!! Thatha!! ngath umupha induku… ai cha ngeke


    1. Most definitely, Queen.
      When a man cheats, it’s in his nature and when we do it we are condemned for it.
      Tebogo, you deserve great d**k and of your man isn’t giving it to you and doesn’t have an interest in charge going his ways, go get yourself that maginificeny d**k, all day and everyday!!
      Singakhathala yile society yama phiciphici(sp).

  5. As much as I sympathise with you and understand your frustration about your but it doesn’t change the fact that ufebile.
    What is sad is that u repeatedly slept with someone who told you from the start that you will be his festive mnyakazo….. the way you handled this is ethically wrong and for you to claim your super love for him after what you have done, it’s beyond my thinking. Having sex on the side and moments later you are sitting and watching TV with the person you claim to love…shwele nkosi.

    Cheating will always be cheating regardless of the excuses. Whether you regret doing it or not. Whether the sex was out of this world or not……imfebo iyimfebo nje qha.
    Instead of working on your relationship and make your man to be what you want, you decided to be a festive statistic…. so what do you want now?

    Stop cheating and fix your partner!!!!!!

  6. Thanks Mr Maphoto.

    Tebogo please watch the movie Temptations then deduct your answers there. I’ll rather stay with a boring man than a f### boy. They know which buttonshould to press and steal your heart and leave you broken.

  7. i totally understand your situation.. girls here are side chicks and were December things as well but will come here and judge you yoh!
    talk to him if you can’t deal anymore leave the poor guy alone and go look for happiness elsewhere because he obviously doesn’t make u happy.. sometimes love is not everything.
    all I can say is don’t drag the poor guy only to hurt him at the end.

  8. Thank you Bhut Mike……yeeey this Dubai trip is gonna be lit nje….

    Eish people are sooo quick to wanna tell you to leave your motho and yet its not easy to juust leave a person because of ONE aspect that is flawed kuye…. Tebogo…you need to talk to your guy and give him the low down….as easy as it may not be but you will ned to be as blunt and open as you can so that he FULLY understands that this boringness of his is not doing you any justice…. And don’t just talk nawe, SHOW HIM… be spontaneous, He must hear you and see the things you like…When you watching that movie at home, point out the things you like and TELL HIM…. Suvele uyofeba nawe , hawuuu…..

    And when you talk to him tell him that if he doesn’t do these things for you , you will go look for them outside….that should give him a wake up call….. Talk to him and be stern and blunt…don’t be afraid to “hurt” his feelings because we women do that sometimes, keep quite or be vague because you don’t want to “hurt” his feelingks….If you want things to work out for you , you gonna have to “hurt” …..

    And ask hi9m this question “If he , your man doesn’t want to make you happy or do these for you then who should do it”

    And STOP febaring man…..iyhooooo so early in the year and already your Hoe-levels are high up there!!!


    1. @PillzBerry uzovele amtshele ukuthi if she thinks there is a better person out there akahambe. And all of the talking would have been for nothing nje and will hurt her kakhulu.

      Tebogo your situation is all too familiar. Be happy you are not married to him! Chances are it will not change…well not with you. Maybe for a week or so and then he will go back to his comfort zone. You’re 26 years young. You settled too early in my opinion, and a relationship that makes you feel alone and frustrated is not a relationship, because believe it or not, this was not your last fuckboy. I suggest that out of the love that you have for this Dude, leave him. His is not a flaw, but a personality trait. And go out there and have the fun and the happiness that you so strongly believe you deserve. Once that’s done, you will come at a place where you will know what means more to you and what you can tolerate and cannot.

      Ngoba manje, you are creating a situation where you are feeling wronged, but you have went and committed a mother of all sins…see the comments. Sleeping around is your business, only if everyone involved knows, in this case your darling boyfriend that you love so much has no clue. Now that is wrong. So go fly little bird and spread your legs…I mean wings where your heart desires. Just don’t come back and share a bed with an unsuspecting man. Usilimazela amadoda.

      1. And I understand MiCasa, but if the guy loves her he WILL make an effort in the name of making his woman happy… We all do something out of love not necessarily because we enjoy it…Compromise and all.. So if he loves her he will atleast try….Anditsho ke uba he will go all out and be sponteneuous of which she will will have to patient as well….

  9. Tebogo, my situation was with an ex who would rather go party out there with his friends, but when we are together, he would rather stay indoor and not want to do anything fun, he would sleep all day or be on his PlayStation. and he was the kind of a guy who always fell asleep after sex, and I will be up bored. so I understand your frustrations. the problem is that u cannot force this guy to change. so try to talk to him about it. maybe he will listen.

  10. Hai 20sfebeteen stru.

    Tebo, mama I actually feel for you yaz. Now have you ever tried to find out why his like that though. Also look into yourself, sounds more like you’re both playing the game on different levels.

    Anyway you’ve opened a door that will never close again.

  11. Obviously women don’t know what they want. If you are quite,honest, displine and respectful some girls sees you as boring. Others like opposite kanti sifela ntoni na madoda.

  12. Tebogo please pass that guy to me my man is spontaneous and fun but also a cheater so I would rather have a boring man which maybe with luck I can teach him a thing or 2 and be happy rather than a player and a cheater think about it dear

  13. You sound like me back in 2012!!! One day you will learn to appreciate that boring routine! You are young and probably haven’t partied much or had your fair share of whoring! Don’t leave your 80 for 20 dear! I learned that the hard way. You don’t need anyone to take you out to dinner or movies, take yourself out or go with a friend! The world is a cruel and dark place

  14. Tebogo my bf we heve been together for 3 and a half year nw he never went down on a girl before but with me he did at first o ne a gana o neva nyonya like he wana puke but nw he ivn ask me bbe can i go down on u i just wana play with it. He ddnt know how to finger but nw he can put in his dick while djying my clit he was old fashioned u know a type of kissing n feel with his finger if m wet then direct him mrengerenge in my honey pot after cumin he gets off to wipe off but now hell no i tell him what to do i talk inbetween sex i direct him where to go sumtimes i play follow the leader i will start with him n then he finish with me i wake him up with a blow job n get on top ride him as hell n he returns a favour so tebogo talk to ur man tell him what u want n how u want it he will get used to it sa mo fella pelo play dirty with him le ge aka tlhatsa he will be fine

  15. Ta brada Mike.
    Tebogo, make google yo friend.
    Google places to go where its more private but romantic. U said U earn mo than him, so book outings for two more often where U sleep over. BnB’s, self catering etc are quieter than hotels.
    At home send him out with friends & when he comes back home, he finds a romantic set-up. Teach him as he obviously lakes in that aspect.
    The alternative is whoring yoself like UR doing & if UR a true Christian then U will feel dirty & worthless in the end.
    If he can’t grow some “apples” or “pears” (balls) then be the one who grows them by not being a part-time side-chick. Not even full time at that. How cheap!

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