Young Employed and Single

YES 84

I need to unearth this as delicately as I possibly can s here goes. When it comes to love, women can lose all forms

of reasoning. Every woman alive, non lesbian of course will tell you that they want a man who loyal, attentive, faithful, loving, a provider and decent all round human being. We don’t want liars and unreliable people in our lives because in future such people bring problems often too difficult to fix as you will already be too invested in such losers. It’s no secret, women like men who are responsible but don’t worry, they will forgive the irresponsible man just as much. Love to us is not what we say we want but what we have in front of us and often it means settling for the rubbish that comes our way. Picture it this way, as women in our dating lives we dated men we thought were perfect until they showed their true colours. In marriage we marry men who were those men to other women. We tend to want to pretend that when we find our husbands he was a good man before with no bad things in his past but truth be told most of these men are those very dogs which we warn each other about in our cliques as friends. Bongani was clearly one of those dogs.

“Wait up; are you saying we are just going to let this thing slide?”

I asked her in utter shock.


She responded. When does one become a friend? Is it when you warn another person from themselves or when you keep quiet when clearly that person is heading for disaster like Miriam was in this case!

“Miriam, you just discovered your husband has another wife and kids and you are just ok with it?”

I asked her! I am not a vengeful person myself but I swear if a man ever does that to me I will serve him his testicles for supper!

“Lungi, it’s my marriage ok! I appreciate what you are trying to do but back off!”

She warned me in the most unfriendly of terms! Message received loud and clear. She must not come running to me when this goes south! I don’t even think I had the energy to go to the house now but we were already preparing. She did not say anything to me until we got t the car and started giving me directions as they were on her phone. Why couldn’t they have just sent a location so that I wouldn’t hear her voice right now? I was not sure what was going on but a true friend tells you the truth. I had done my part but I feared that she was headed for an even worse fate.

“We are here!”

She announced when we arrived. We were in deed. I had not even seen how we had driven the way that I had been concentrating on her. It’s a wonder I did not hit a tree or something. There were already many people there and this was the night before. The event was taking place at her parents’ house it turned out. I was struck by how big their house was. She was clearly from a rich family then. They were having a night vigil.

“We are here! We won’t be long. We are going to go sit with Bongani!”

She stated bravely. I don’t even know what to say! One minute we were fighting this guy and the next we were looking for him to sit with him.

“Are you sure about that?”

I asked her. I wanted to tell her that it was too soon for that then I remembered that she too was his wife.

“Yes I am sure. Stop worrying Lungile come on! We will be fine!”

She said I followed her in. We did not greet many people because we did not anyone. Fortunately we did not find Bongani. We took our seats at the back at her insistence so that we could see everyone enter but he did not come. All in all the two hours spent there were not that bad. It was tragic and the church people sang their lungs out.

“Its time to go!”

I told her around 10pm. There were still people coming imagine. She was very reluctant to leave but I could see that she too was tired. As we walked out guess what, there was Bongani at the gate talking to some men! Of all the rotten luck.

“We not leaving, he is here!”

She announced.

“But what are we going to do Miriam? Are we going to stand there with the men too! Look around you, all the women are literally on one side so how will that work.”

He looked up as I made this argument and he saw us. I expected him to panic but the man calmly made a slight wave then he walked towards us. It was defensive thing on my part for I immediately crossed my arms across my chest.

“Lungi stop it! Be nice!”

Miriam hissed under bated breath. I felt like I was being a child being forced to watch the news when there was something nicer playing on TV.

“Hey ladies!”

He said calmly. The shameless bastard even smiled. The only thing that gave me satisfaction was the fact that his lip was definitely swollen and it was my friend who had done that. She had managed to get in a good punch in there! She should have broken a tooth shem!


I said coldly.

“I thought you were not going to come hey for a moment there!”

Miriam said sweetly. She was ultra nice even pulling out the smile. She gave him a pat kiss on the lips and hugged him. I honestly felt stupid.

“I promised you I will be here.”

He said.

“I don’t see her, where is she? I thought you said she would be coming with!”

Miriam said sounding a bit disappointed. By her I assume she meant wife number one!

“Yeah I know but the kids were quite traumatized by today’s events we ended up deciding that she must stay with them. You saw Themba yourself!”

He said with concern in his voice.

“Oh ok I guess that makes sense. You should have told me though because now it makes it look. As though you have lied to me again.”

She said again with a smile in her voice but she sounded disappointed. Why would she be disappointed that her great rival was not here though? I felt like she was playing a charade.

“My parents have arrived though. We should go greet them!”

He said cautiously.

“Yeah you told me that they were almost in town.”

She said. I was finally starting to figure out what was going on the more they spoke the more Miriam’s sadistic plan was unravelling.

“Ok let’s go greet because Lungile is tired, we too need our rest!”

She said. A moment ago she had said we must stay. All this had changed simply because the first wife was not coming.

“You can’t just say hi and bye though. You are their makoti!”

He reminded her sweetly.

“Yes I know but I am their makoti carrying a baby so my body is tired!”

She reminded him. He was not going to push it.

“I am going to the car.”

I told them.

“I will come and find you just now!”

She said confidently. My friend for all her flaws was a warrior! Sometimes she had a kamikaze spirit though which if half the women of South Africa had then the men of this country would not abuse us s much!

My phone rang as I walked to the car. I was not familiar with the number but I picked up.

“Aunty Lungi, it’s me Ntheteng!”

Imagine my shock. Not only was it so late but she had never called me.

“Sweety shouldn’t you be in bed!”

I asked her.

“My daddy is sick! I don’t know what to do. All my aunts are not picking up! I am so scared!”

Crap! The one day I was not there, the fucken one day! This was the moment I had needed.

“What’s wrong with him?”

I asked her.

“He can’t move.”

She told me.

“Ok I want you to listen to me neh, I want you to walk to the gate and get the security guard there!”

I told her.

“I can’t go there Aunty Lungi, I am scared of the dark by myself and its raining!”

She told me. Goodness what now!

“Ok put the phone down. I will call you back just now!”

I told her. There was only one person I could call and wow this was a humbling moment!

“Hey Lungi, wow fancy hearing from you?”

She said. I don’t know if she was being nice or sarcastic! Yup it was the one and only doctor in the world who also wanted Lunga.

“Hi. I have an emergency. Ntheteng just called me saying her father is sick and can’t move. I am in Nelspruit so I can’t do anything to help! Please I need you to go there now!”

I explained to her.

“Goodness. I was leaving the hospital as I am post call so I will be there in five minutes. Thank you for calling, he will be in good hands!”

She said and that last part I could sense satisfaction. Not only could she help by being there, she was a doctor too!

I had just given her my man on a silver platter!

*******The End********

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Chief Mike

You know what; your work is out of this world. Thank you for sharing your talent.

I am a 35 year old man and I have been married for six years now. I am a doctor based at Bara and my wife works in JHB cbd. When we got married we discussed children and my wife was eager. Two years later I found that she was on contraceptives behind my back. She told me that she had not had a way of telling me that she had changed her mind on children. I felt so betrayed. I think out of guilt she took out her loop and we got pregnant with twins who are now three years old. We love our kids but often I feel she blames me for having them. Her career, which was her excuse for the loop never suffered because she in fact came back to a promotion after people stole money at the company she worked. We have been fighting for over six months now. Three weeks ago I found out she is sleeping with her ex boyfriend and also slept with one of her colleagues. I found this in an old phone she has when I wanted to use it. She has been sharing this information with her sister. Her sister, loves me, I thought she did anyway, was advising her to stop the affair with her ex when she mentioned in her text that ‘even sleeping with Lesetja was wrong I told you’. Lesetja is a colleague I know him and he is married. I always assumed that if this ever happens I would blow up and burn the house down but I have not reacted. I just don’t know what to do. I love my wife and if I had reacted I believe I would be in jail today. I don’t know if I want a divorce but right now I genuinely hate her. She does not know that I know.

Is this marriage over? Can I ever trust such a person again?

Please advise


26 thoughts on “YES 84

  1. Kanti why dont the rest of us get loyal men who just want to love us and have kids with us bathong :(..uLIfe utricky nyan.. askies Bara that you have to deal with such. I doubt very much though that your marriage is over as you SEEM to want to fix things, you just resent her for what she has done. I think all you can do at this point is confront your wife as keeping quiet about this will only kill you inside, then take it from there. Perhaps she too has some unresolved issues that you both needs to address. Perhaps seek counselling.. Goodluck

  2. Thanks Mikeesto, awesome as always.

    Life u tricky nyan @Thatgirl, here is a good man devoted to his wife and children, getting cheated on like nobody’s business. My guy, walking away is always against parental advisory but this shit is 18SVNL. Either someone dies or someone walks, and with you having the evidence, the bitch gots to go. I’ve realised over the years that when this happens to you, the denial hits you so hard you are in disbelief and you are unable to react the way you normally would, like killing her and burning the house down with her in it. But sbalie this cannot be fixed, it’s over, finished, done!

    She consciously made a decision to cheat, with an ex even, that’s unforgivable. She them cheated again with another man, cementing the fact that it was by no error with the ex-anyway. There is no biological proof nor scientific that can give reason to her feberish outburst just because she removed a loop and had twins, its just unconstitutional for her to blame you for that shit. Lomfazi akangomfazi and it’s a pity you didn’t see her for what she is before you wasted some good ass steaks and gave cows for, even a quarter leg chicken aint worth it. Pick yourself up nigga and raise your kids, prepare yourself mentally and emotionally coz you might just be going towards the biggest fight of your life. All the best playa!!


  3. Isi Zulu sithi amathanga ahlanzela abanganama bhodwe. I feel so bad for your my brother, cheating is a terrible thing and I don’t wish it on anyone. You can either walk or forgive. Forgiveness is hard… once the trust is broken it’s hard to get it back. My significant other cheated and years later I’m still not over it. Best of luck to you and your kids. You sound like an awesome guy who was just unlucky to have married such a selfish ungrateful person.

  4. bara that is not a wife, I for one will never forgive such..imagine now the ex and the colleague I’m sure see u as a stupid man. she not only cheated with one guy but two and still you thinking of forgiving? she slept with the ex that’s the utmost disrespect., and you are willing to forgive? by now people see your wife as a bitch, the guys she slept with see her as a scuftin, hai mahn already she sees you as a stupid man please don’t confirm that for her and divorce her busy body. some bitches don’t appreciate, such an honest guy yet you cheating hai mahn. if you don’t leave that sfebe struu Bob you will raise another mans child. le wena. u making me angry nxla, that marriage is over simple.

  5. i don’t think your wife love you Mr Bara, she has some sought of a problem ngawe, so its up to you whether you wanna find out or you can just move on. confront her and make sure you have all the proof but prepare yourself cause this is just a start of a bad thing to come.

  6. Really woman dont know what they want. They get bored by loyal guys and substitute with ass ginsta’s. Woman like drama shame, utshatela ntoni kanti awufuni bantwana? My borther confront your wife and show her evident when is denying and decide after that process about your life.

  7. Yhuuuuu That Hirl….like can I juuuuust have Bara all to myself nje…..

    Yhooo my guy, I’m so sorry shame for what you going through 🙁 such a crying shame….

    But as ThatGirl said, you seem like you want to fix things with your wife and the first thing you ned to do is talk to her , let her know that you know her sheninigans and take it from there…. She cant blame you from wanting kids though…because this is something that you made known BEFORE ya’ll vowed to each other and she agreed… Why put the blame on you now??? Not fair… But clearly you both need a lot to get off your chests so you need to start talking to each other before this escalates any further….

    All the best my guy 🙁


  8. Dear Bara, your wive was never in it for the long haul, that is why she never wanted to fall pregnant. Maybe the reason why she married you is because you were security for her, When a woman is in love she never looks outside. So if I were you I would confront her and hear her reasons for cheating and only than make a decision because I how do you live with a person you don’t trust and she has no respect for your marriage

  9. Batla pls that wife of yours and marry me tuu? A married woman with 3 side baes and here I am witho not even a single one! When is life ever gonna be fair maar?! 😏😏😏Mike, give that guy my email address.

  10. Bara I feel you my guy. I know that you made vows before God and said in sickness and in health till death do you part. But my man, kudlaliwe ngawe ngulo sisi. Akho mfazi unokwenza into enje to her husband, she needs one hell of a good reason for what she did (which I doubt there is any). As hard as this may be for you, confront your wife about this issue and hear what she has to say then take it from there. I doubt though that you guys will survive this, especially given the fact that nihlala worlds apart. you’ll forever doubt her loyalty towards you and that aint healthy for no relationship. Good luck though coz you gonna need it.

  11. Dankie brada Mike. Forgiving is the hardest thing is such cases as Mirriam’s case. Only for those who care too much on what others will think or say about your marriage.
    Same thing with U Mr Bara, my heart feels for U man. This is the hardest reality any man can face.
    To me personally, it’s unforgivable considering all the happenings & circumstances. This woman does not love U or care about U. She’s blackmailing U by blaming U for U guys having kids while she’s hoering her ass to other guys. What a nerve!
    Myb UR stronger than me & will reconcile but not in my books. I wud start counting my losses & get the best divorce lawyers. Next I wud take a gud 2yrs at least to heal before committing again. Gudluck my guy in the slippery roadwith thorns on the sides UR about to walk. U need a strong hand from family to lean on. I hope yo parents or sister are there to help with the twins as it won’t be easy baba.

  12. Bara u didn’t mention if u wr also unfaithful ,cheating this days its just for fun or u didn’t do it for her also in bed.Doctors a women dream husbands nje n u guys know this n dont put much effort in the relationship.Ur the third doctor I know who has been cheated on and the other chicks whr students, one is now married to other doc ,my gal told me she cheated with a soccer player nje.For closer find out y she is got it out side n divorce the bitc…

    Some need an excuse to cheat cause it fun.i cheat cause im greedy .They say its not cheating until u get caught lol Yhoooo

    Divorce n find another hoe .This generation its fukced bro

  13. Life is so unfair, it’s so hard for some of us to find guys who are committed, @ Bara come cheat with me. I will be your loyal side chick, it’s obvious you love your wife and you don’t want to leave her, use me as your distruction bathong…

  14. Why didn’t your wife want to have kids? Did you ever find out and is she a good mother to them…maternal especially since they are twins?

    Sometimes we get into agreements with the hope that as time goes we can re-negotiate our stand. Unfortunately the consequences of that can be dire and we are not prepared for. I am not excusing her cheating at all, but Bara seems to have left out that heart to heart we can only piece together with our imaginations. So now she cheated because she had kids….that’s is not true. There is something deeper and more emotional that happened here and either the wife hasn’t been open or the husband has not been listening. M

    My Guy, thank you for not reacting violently and taking a step to seeking advice, even though we are far from being professionals. Whatever you decide, I suggest that you seek professional advice, first for yourself to be able to calmly confront her. And take it from there, worse has happened in marriages and some have come out stronger. Less has happened too and they have ended. and the individuals have come out both victorious.

    good luck to you and your young family…

  15. Bara thats bad, I dont think you would get over it even if you forgive her, been there, in my case she fell pregnant 3 months before I pay lobola and I left. So confront her for your own sernity and leave after that…

  16. Bara Plsss take me I’m yourss :*

    Your wife doesn’t see u as man enough for her…….1st of all he ddn’t c you fathering her kids not tht she regrets having kids, she just regrets having them WITH YOU…..2ndly you not ENOUGH for her in bed tht’s why she ended up with an ex which ddn’t end there…..You can learn to trust her again but you’ll never make yourself man ENOUGH for her, I think your wife has a problem with you PERSONALLY

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