I was so annoyed at her. Look I get it that as a friend I had probably not been the best in the last couple of months. She had a point there and I accept that but I have always said don’t bite off your nose to spite your face.
This is exactly what she was doing. She was trying spite both of us because she knew that I could not go without her and neither could she go without me. I had not meant to lose my temper but she had led me there. Like really, what the fuck! I walked to my room angrily. I called Neo.
“Baby how is things there?”
I asked him when he picked up.
“Still no change unfortunately. I know I had said that I was coming back but I don’t think that’s possible!”
He said. I could not remember if he had said today or tomorrow anymore but none of that mattered right now.
“I am sorry love. I am thinking of going to sleep at your place and also study. You know my roommate makes a lot of noise for me when I want to study is that ok with you?”
I asked him. The truth is I did not want to see Khanyi and I also wanted to switch my phone off so that should she want me I would be unavailable.
“Its fine I guess. There is food in the fridge so you can cook and stuff!”
He said. When he moved out of residence, he had given me the spare key to his flat for two reasons. One was as a way of safe keeping it and secondly it was a show of trust. Neo was perfect in so many ways it’s hard to explain. I was the imperfect one.
“Ok cool. I will probably buy take out in any case because cooking and studying don’t work hand in hand!”
I reminded him. He managed a weak laugh and said,
“If laziness had a name, I am very certain it would be named after you!”
I laughed too. It’s no secret; I am the laziest person I know. I love cooking and I am pretty decent (not great) when I put my effort into it but I never have the energy for it. I hate chopping ah; onions and tomatoes just take the fun out of it.
“Thank you love. I hope your mom gets better. I will pray for her!”
I told him. Prayer helps. A lot of people take it for granted but knowing that someone else out there is praying for the same things as you, for you, is comforting.
“Ok then. If my phone is off don’t panic, it’s because I have a lot to cover!”
I told him. I was not sure how he will take that because I did not want it to look convenient.
He said. I could sense a bit of scepticism in that. He had to go so we did not talk any further. Every university student, even now when there is Uber has their cab guy and I was no exception. I even had my Tuck Tuck guy. I called him to take me to my boyfriends place. I don’t think I have ever said this but Neo lived at a place called The Yard which is just behind UJ so it was not far but because it was dark now I could not walk. The risk in walking is often too great to ignore.
“Are you leaving?”
My roommate asked when I walked into our room. She was studying with one of her friends.
“Yes I am going to Neo’s place!”
I told her. The friend openly stared at me. I know she wanted to say something about my suicide attempt but the words would not come out.
“Are you ok there Tshililo?”
I asked her for that was her name. She was from Limpopo.
“I am fine. I wanted to say it’s good to have you back… Well!”
She responded. I really made people feel awkward around me I noticed. It was my fault and I accepted that blame, one mistake and look at me.
“I am well thanks. Roomie can I please talk to you outside?”
I asked my roommate. It was obvious I did not want Tshililo to here so we went outside. I certainly know how to make moments more awkward than they should be. My roommate was quite surprised by it but she stood up and came with me outside. I closed the door behind me.
“I just wanted to say thank you again for what you did for me! I would probably be dead if it was not because of you!”
I said and I hugged her. It took so much by surprise for a moment she did not hug back. It would have been rude.
“You are welcome!”
“I thought you wanted to shout at me for having Tshililo in the room!”
She said meekly. The more I think of it, Khanyi had a point, I was a bully. My roommate hardly ever had friends over and I think it was because I never gave her a chance to. My friends could come but I would give her friends the cold shoulder kind of thing.
“No goodness no, why would I do that? It’s your room too!”
I reassured her as I opened the door to go back in. She was really surprised by this she stood outside a second longer before she came in. I am very certain she was going to tell Tshililo what had just happened. I packed my books just in time as my tuck tuck guy called from downstairs.
“See you tomorrow!”
I said cheerfully. I never take leave from my roommate so I wonder what she was thinking right now! When I got to Neo’s place was clean and I must say he put me to shame the way he was neat. As any girlfriend would, I looked around my mans place to see that no skank had moved in. Everything was good except for the newspaper I found where he had circled flats. Was Neo trying to move? How come he had not told me? He had circled three flats, two in Milpark and one in Laborie and there is no way I wanted him to move there! What was going on? Anyway my focus was on studying so I switched off my phone, made a sandwich and got to work. I hate studying. It gives me a headache but I love passing. It took me four hours to go through first part and it was already 1am when I stood up to pee! I switched on my phone. I had no messages nor missed calls. Khanyi had not called me. Eish!
“I don’t need this!”
I said to myself out loud. I was hungry again. When I was in the kitchen I heard the key. I had not switched on the light because I was going to use the fridge light and the switch is by the door anyway.
“Who is it?”
I asked nervously! The person did not answer and when I saw the door turn my heart started beating fast. We leave in the wrong country. A girl alone is always a target and here I was alone. Neo has a baseball bat that stays next to the fridge. He says you never know when you might need it. I picked it because I definitely needed it. I was so scared. I was not going to be anyone’s victim.
“Who is it?”
I shouted out again! The person still did not answer! Should I scream? I did not know what to do as I froze!
The person walked in and I raised my bat to swing!
“Palesa what are you doing?”
When he switched on the light and so the bat coming down. I was already in swinging motion but he moved very fast that only the tip got him.
He screamed in pain.
“Baby oh my God baby!”
I said when I realized that it was him. I dropped the bat and ran to him. The reason why he had not heard me is because he was wearing headphones, those big ones like Beatz. His we bought at the oriental plaza behind UJ but you can’t even tell they are fake.
“You hit me that hurt!”
He said angrily but in pain.
“I am sorry I did not know it was you! You scared me to death!”
I told him.
“But who else could come here, obviously it was me!”
He said but he was wrong.
“You said you were not coming so obviously I was not expecting you. I am so sorry!”
I went to fridge and I did what I have seen on TV, I took out frozen vegetables and placed them where I had hit him.
“That’s to prevent the swelling!”
I told him. He was not happy with me at all.
“I am so sorry baby. What are you doing here in any case? You said you were not coming and it’s very late!”
I asked him. I had a point too because this was out of character for him. He would have told me that he was coming. My phone had been off though but wait, I had no messages from him either.
“I just came!”
“Did you want to surprise me?”
I asked him with realization setting in. He stood up and walked to the couch. He did not answer but I got the point, he had come back to check if I was really here because he did not trust me. He thought I had lied just to give an excuse to switch off my phone!
“You don’t trust me do you?”
I asked him and he sighed.
“Where is your ring?”
He asked me! I looked at my finger and fuck!
Where was it?
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Dear Mike, the teams & all the readers
Mike it wouldn’t sit right with me if I were not to tell you what a stellar job you are doing… really enjoy reading your work from the days of Diary of a Zulu Girl
Anywho guy’zin I need your help okay there is this older senior guy at my work place.. we get along very well I would go as far as saying we have some sort of friendship… I really enjoy his company & I take it he also enjoys my company. Everything was fine between us until a friend of mine was like to me there is no way me & the guy could just be friends/colleagues because men also have a hidden agenda & she kept on persisting, that’s when I started noticing the small details (or maybe it’s just my imagination) for example on more than one occasion should he see me with another male he makes sure that he calls & gives me something to do, like making copies for him & sometimes he would personally come to my office & fetch me (where he could have just called) but that’s beside the problem, THING is I honestly think I’m starting to have feelings for him so I started to distance myself from him but I really don’t want to loose our friendship & I also don’t want to ruin his marriage, family life…what do I do? how do I stop developing these feelings?