People always say that men are successful because they stick to each other. They don’t betray one another and have each other’s back. A man can be friends with a guy who he met through his girlfriend and that man will let him cheat
in front of him and not say a thing. Note, these are men whose only link is the wife. Men have that kind of loyalty and with women, well, it has its moments. She can have your back for now but the moment you start fighting even on something completely unrelated she can bring out your files like she is David Mahlobo! I was supposed to have my oldest friends back in this moment and the only way to do this was by going against her which on its own was a betrayal. To protect her I had to betray her. This was a hard decision to make. Miriam was a fighter and I know she would not hesitate to go physical. With her pregnancy however this would be highly irresponsible of me to let her fight another woman who obviously laid a claim to her husband. In all the years I had known Miriam she was not one to change her mind meaning even if I tried talking her out of it by pointing out the obvious she would never buy it. I had to try,
“Miriam you are pregnant, you are putting your baby and yourself at risk! Come on now! Whatever we find there you can’t be Miriam of old wanting to break people’s heads by throwing bottles!”
I warned her. I once went to the hospital to see her after another woman had hit her with a bottle. She was a brawler and yes she had chilled a bit now, it’s something I knew was still inside her.
“I am not stupid! I have thought about that but I can’t lose my husband so soon into the marriage! He has to respect me!”
She told me. This thing called respect, the more women are empowered the more we fight for it but at times respect does not trump the safety of your life or child.
“If he is cheating why don’t you just leave him? It’s easier than all this. You can’t chase down every skirt he goes after!”
I warned her.
“Do you know why I can’t leave him?”
She asked me.
“Firstly stating the obvious I love my husband ok. Secondly no one expects this to work, not even you! Everyone is waiting for the day I implode and do something stupid. I don’t blame them not having faith in me and relationship because of my past but I will not fail. I am going to prove to everyone that just because I had a life growing up I can keep a man!”
She said and I felt so guilty because she was right. I don’t think many people actually believed this marriage would last. This was Miriam for crying out loud she used to have threesomes for the fun of it! Did I say that out loud? Oops, was meant to be a secret!
“It’s not about us though? It’s about you and what you need!”
I reminded her.
“No Lungile it’s about everyone. Even my own mother warned me that if I don’t settle down I might never get such a man like this again. The irony is I see all these high and mighty girls, the ones that were saints in school and judged people like me struggling to keep their men. To me it’s a victory because not only did I enjoy my youth, I am determined to enjoy my marriage!”
She said and I kept quiet. That was kind of a low blow because one of those girls was me. We had spent our young lives judging the girls that clubbed, partied, had blessers or sugar daddies and for what, only for us to be struggling with our morals when we got older.
“Ok cool, don’t worry I have your back just don’t hurt my niece or nephew in the process!”
I told her. She let out a weak laugh and the she drifted somewhere faraway. She was not going to speak to me and I think it’s because she was thinking of everything we had said. Maybe I had gotten through to her but I was more determined than ever to warn her husband but I didn’t have his number! I never saved the little brothers number either which reminded me, what ever happened to him?
We drove in silence all the way to Nelspruit. I had booked us in BnB called Ubuntu Kraal and the plan was that after a bit of rest we go have an early dinner at Riverside Mall.
“Miriam we are here!”
I told her waking her up. She had slept right through.
“Oh wow I must have been more tired than I thought!”
You are pregnant!
I meant to tell her but I could not. She clearly didn’t care about it because why pick a fight if you have a baby inside you.
“Yes you were!”
We checked in and put our things away.
“I am actually hungry now. I did not eat in the morning. Let’s freshen up and go eat please!”
I told her. She too said she was hungry. It was already 4pm meaning we were going to have an early supper at this rate.
“What time are we going to find my husband?”
Eish there we go again.
“I don’t know hey. You the one that said you have your tracker magic so obviously will hear from you when you want to go!”
I told her I had accepted my fate that there was no coming out of this so oh well let’s see how the cookie crumbles then. My phone rang and it was Simba. I had not informed him that I was now off the case and this time there was no recourse.
I said in my greeting.
“How are you?”
“I am good thanks.”
“I understand that there was an incident with Mawela at your offices. I have only just arrived and he told me that you guys called him to explain some of the findings you had found! Is it ok that I come in and see you guys in the office on Monday so that we can clear this up?”
He asked me politely.
“I am afraid I won’t be your point person on this anymore. You will have to call the company directly and they will tell you who to speak to. I left them yesterday! It’s a long story but I am sure they will give you someone capable as my replacement!”
I explained to him politely. I did not want to sound dramatic about what had happened because I don’t know how much discretion I had now that I had left. Imagine messing up my law suit because I spoke too much.
“You are joking right?”
He asked me in total disbelief.
“I am afraid not. I am very sorry for this. Good day Mr. Tizora!”
I said to him and hung up the phone immediately. I had not realized that Miriam was standing behind me.
“You lost your job?”
She asked me!
“I did not lose it ok, I quit. You should stop eavesdropping on peoples conversations its bad!”
I told her rather annoyed that she had heard that exchange.
“We in a small space I don’t think I could not have heard what you were saying unfortunately. Are you ok?”
She asked me and my answer was a snappy,
I did not want to talk about it so I stood up and walked outside! This was my problem which I was going to deal with alone as best as I could. I did not want too many people passing judgment or giving their opinion on it. It was not about them and entirely about me.
“I am sorry I listened in. I think we should go to the mall now because I am starving!”
She said. I did not respond but went back inside to take my car keys then headed back out again. I am not even sure I was angry at her anymore; possibly it was my annoyance with what was going on.
“Please don’t tell your mom!”
I told her and somehow we both burst out laughing. If that woman found out she would tell the whole street that I got fired. When it came to gossip and rumours that woman was without a doubt a god in her own right! She was a force of nature!
“Of course I won’t! My mum can make a small story turn relevant so fast so that the last thing I would ever dream of doing!”
She reassured me. I believed her. Her mum had ruined a lot of things for us in the past simply by saying all the wrong things. We found our way to Riverside Mall.
“Let’s find the food court. I don’t want some restaurant where we have to wait hours for food!”
She said as soon as we walked into the mall. I agreed with that too because much as I was hungry I did not want a heavy meal.
“I am buying since you drove us all this way and I didn’t pay for fuel as yet!”
She said. One thing about Miriam, she was always fair when it came to the bill. She was not that friend that took advantage of you simply because you earned more.
As we got to the counters there were different fast food restaurants everywhere with chairs in the centre. I was slightly ahead of her.
“Goodness it’s packed!”
I said to Miriam but she did not respond. I turned to look at her and she stood there frozen looking at something. It’s not a lie what they say when they say the woman always knows. We did not even have to go look for her husband. There was Bongani her husband and he was holding hands with this woman. We had not even gone to look for him, he was right there but that’s not all, from the play area some kid ran to him and said,
“Daddy, why must we leave now? I want to play some more and besides David is still playing!”
Mpumalanga people and the name David! You would think they were Jews!
“He has kids?”
Miriam asked me rhetorically but the confusion in her at this moment was palpable forget the fact that he had another woman possibly a wife!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for reading my letter. Greetings to everyone.
I have a problem guys, it’s my husband. He is the laziest man when it comes to sex and I have tried everything from watching porn, buying toys and even going for therapy. He is simply not interested. We have been married for 13 years now and I am 36 he is 40. At the beginning of the relationship he was sexual but not over the top. In the last five years things just deteriorated. We have reached a point where we can go three months without sex and the day that we do have it the sex won’t last ten minutes. As a husband he is a wonderful man. He drinks at home, takes the kids and I out shopping and outings at least once a month. He is funny and charming and everyone loves him. I once thought he was having an affair because of his disinterest in me until I realized no other woman in her right mind would stand for this. I go to the gym, I dress sexy and attractive for him but I don’t think he even notices. So many men hit on me young and old but I am loyal and faithful to my sexless husband. I don’t know what to do. I am so horny half the time even at work not because I am lustful but because I am not getting it. I have toys, but what’s the point when a man is lying next to me. The temptation to cheat is growing stronger by the day and I don’t want to do this. Please anyone can you help me get through to this man.