Y.E.S 72

Posted on Posted in Young Employed and Single


“You should never be afraid to challenge or disagree with your partner. If he or she was always right then they would be God. We all make mistakes and we need to accommodate each other even when we disagree!” Mike Maphoto

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There is a Zimbabwean song I heard recently, I had to ask someone to translate it for me so I hope we got it right. It’s about a man who is questioning if there is true love out there or if the thing called is just fake. I am reminded of it because of Sfiso and I right now especially the me attending the funeral part. The song is by an artist called Steve Makoni and its words (translated) go something like,

“(Woman) if you not there I don’t sleep,
(Man) Yet first thing tomorrow morning your eyes are pure white?
(Woman) If you not there I don’t eat,
(Man) So who finished the mealie meal?
Man: Who has true love in this world because it looks like we all just whiling up time and chilling together.
(People) Someone please grab that man, he might fall into that hole, the woman lying in there is his wife but I can swear before the sun sets someone will have hit one him!
The woman here is now a widow, the man who died is her husband but I swear on this very woman that before it even sinks, she will have been hit on!
We tell each other that if you are sick, I will get sick too, if you die, I will die too but how many people do you know who lost someone they loved yet today we are here together?
It can be at a funeral, the boyfriends\girlfriends are the first to arrive to offer their condolences but this is just to show I was there for you but we still on.
It can be at a wedding, the boyfriends\makhwapeni are the first ones to arrive to say congratulations and more congratulations but meanwhile they wink at each other reminding each other nothing changes!
You are telling us that your husband went far for work so a bit of fresh air at last yet you the wife we finding you at all these parties with who then?
And you father, your wife has just given birth, it’s a baby girl you tell us, so who is that woman who is congratulating you whilst your are holding her ass?
You say that you woke up very early to go to the hospital, you tell us she is slept a better and is feeling well but who is the woman you are kissing right now father?”

Ok hope I did not butcher that royally. I did not know Sfiso well enough to attend his wife’s wedding but because we had spoken recently and I had slept with him I knew it was important for me to attend. In times of discomfort you can’t call yourself a friend if you can’t wish them well in bad times. I had to attend I don’t think I had much of a choice. For many the fact that we had cheated on the deceased in life it might mean that it would be inappropriate for me to attend but who is fooling who. I can assure you that at least one party you threw or attended you have been there with the person your partner is either cheating with or cheated on you with, you just didn’t know. That’s South Africa, that’s #moralsmustfall so we can tell each other a million things on what good people we are but take a look in the mirror before you call yourself good because blasphemy won’t take you to heaven! Stru! Be honest to yourself!

“Ok so when are we leaving? I need to fix a few things first before we go?”

Miriam asked me. She was the one who had called so why was she asking me this now.

“I don’t know. You will have to tell me because I am surprised you not going with your hubby?”

I told her.

“I would have gone with him but he wants to go early so that he can help with things there. They are pretty close so he is driving with him from the airport. It’s such a sad time though!”

She told me.

“I know hey. He told me about the wife and the baby. Now I wonder how he is going to survive being so far away from home alone without her!”

“Sfiso is strong. He will pull through this and it won’t be easy. I just hope he won’t do something stupid. My advice to him would be to take it one day at a time. It’s such hard work trying to survive such a loss!”

I don’t remember Miriam speaking this maturely before. Marriage had really changed her and I daresay it had calmed her down that’s for certain! When she was her old self this was the time she would be say free pass, visa, let’s go party. With all this said though I could not tell whether she was happy or not. A person who parties a lot when they are forced to calm down because of marriage they tend to struggle. This being bottled and caged often means at some point they will explode so with Miriam it was only a matter of when.

“Yes it is. Let’s talk tomorrow, I have had a long day and tomorrow will be longer still.”

I told her. I wanted to rest. The day had been way too hectic. Tomorrow I still had to deal with racists and what they will throw at me. Story of my life. I just passed out. I did not even eat.

In the morning I woke to a very strange sms. It read,

“I am sorry about yesterday. I don’t know what got into me. I was so hell bent on revenge I almost made a bad situation into a disaster. I don’t think I will be pressing charges at work either even though Ndini is insisting that I do. You won’t be hearing from me anymore!”

That was from none other than Rudzani. It reminded me of what I wanted to do, block! I blocked her number immediately. The only time she could talk to me was if it was at work. No more personal correspondence between us. We were not friends and this girl was actually quite unhinged. Don’t fool yourself, quiet people are dangerous! Have you ever heard of a serial killer who was loud and outgoing? No!

“Today is going to be a good day!”

I told myself as I was getting ready for the day.

“Today is going to be a good day!”

I walked out the same time as Mbuso and Ntheteng.

“Good morning Aunty Lungi!”

The little angel shouted from her car window. It was going to take a miracle for Mbuso to avoid me because with the way his daughter loved me, it was mission impossible for him.

“Good morning my baby! Have a nice day at school today ok!”

I shouted back but not too loudly. Mbuso just waved and did not say anything. He was not being salty though because we were both late. I walked into the office with a smile on my face! I greeted everyone even people I don’t normally greet. I went to the kitchen to get coffee and back to my office. It felt as though I had so much work so I dived into it. I only raised my head when there was a knock and it was Mr. Gold.

“Sir you are back! Finally! How was your trip?”

I asked him with the biggest smile. I think he was very surprised at my attitude because I never get personal with him.

“It was fine thanks. Can I come in? For a quick chat?”

He asked.

“Please come in, no problem at all. I could do with some company. I have been at this for hours anyway so it’s refreshing!”

I told him. If he was angry at something before I am certain I had confused the enemy.

“Thank you!”

He said sitting down. He looked at me for a while and I realized that he did not know how to start the conversation.

“Mr. Gold I don’t bite. I take it you spoke to Ms. Du Toit?”

I asked him taking the bull by the horns.

“Yes I did. I leave you for two days and I come back and find people in tears!”

He said exasperated!

“In tears? I am lost! I am not crying!”

I told him.

“Yeah I can see that but Nicolene is crying because of what happened in the meeting and Ms Du Toit is also crying saying that you did not respect her!”

My smile immediately left my face.

“I did not respect her?”

I asked him without raising my voice as though I was enquiring which worked for me. I did not want to sound incredulous.

“Yes. She is very unhappy and I am told that she wants to lay a formal complaint against you. Please just go apologize to her to avoid any problems going forward. I don’t like this things of when colleagues go against each other!”

I don’t think in his head he even imagined for one moment that I could have been the wronged party here.

“Not before she apologizes to me first!”

I told him without blinking an eyelid.

“She is your superior, you can’t hope to fight this and win!”

He warned me.

“Fight what? Following company procedure?”

I asked him.

“Look around you Khanyi, I like you ok, you are brilliant at your job but you know the politics around here. You keep your head down and get on with the work!”

He said in what almost a whisper. Had he just admitted to racism? Why had I not recorded this conversation?

“Did you just say that to me? You are white and on the other side so you have no idea how frustrating it is to be me! At least you go home and smile!”

I told him so annoyed at this man’s nerve!

“You think so! I am a Jew Khanyi and yes my skin might be light be lighter than yours but amongst ‘us’ white people as you think I am, I am the bottom of that food chain.”

I won’t lie I was so confused by that.

“How so?”

I asked him.

“So you thought there was no xenophobia amongst us? Do you even know anything about Jews and what we fight every day?”

He asked me.

“All I know is about world war two and Hitler and that was over 80 years ago so it doesn’t count!”

I told him just exposing more of my ignorance.

“I will pretend you didn’t say that because you clearly don’t know. Read a book or two to learn the truth about how Jews have suffered in the world, are still suffering then read about what Jews went through during apartheid! I am not justifying anything, please don’t get me wrong, all I am saying is we all have a struggle and in companies like this you might appear a hero for taking them on but usually they win. I have a meeting now!”

He said.

Bloody agent nxa! Trying to confuse me with nonsense!

******* The End*********

@diaryofazulugal
Mikeatdiary
Mike@diaryofazulugirl.co.za
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

What’s your secret? How do you do it? Your stories I must say are amazing and always entertaining. Well done sir.

I am 26 and I have been working for two years. I joined the company I work for straight out of university. I work for a huge company and within the first few weeks I got a crush on this older guy at work. It started off as me feeling sorry for him as he was a bit of a loner. He is 46 now. I know this because I have stalked him since I met him. I know he is divorced, has two kids and doesn’t drink. He is a bit religious but I am not sure to what extent. The story behind his divorce is that his wife cheated on him several times and even with his own best friend. I have never dated an older guy but I like this guy so much. Recently I heard that his wife was trying to make a comeback and she even came to the office. I was devastated so I decided that I have not wasted all this time checking out this man for nothing. I had already been talking to him a lot at work flirting where I could but the man never actually followed up. I don’t think he even noticed that I was doing my thing! Anyway I decided to ask him out straight up. I was so surprised when he agreed because I was certain he would reject me. We went out and we kissed. We went out three times in fact. He then told me that his wife wants them to get back and for the sake of the kids both families have agreed. I was angry and disappointed. I told him I was not going anywhere because I am in love with him which he did not object to. I have just signed myself up to be side dish and no regrets whatsoever but now I don’t know how to compete with the wife! This is not about knowing my place because as far as I am concerned they are still officially divorced so I stand a fair chance even though she has a head start.

A lot will judge, I understand but I am in love and I am not backing down. Please advise me on how I will compete with this woman who has a head start.

Thank You

Big Fan

43 thoughts on “Y.E.S 72

  1. Yho some women though!! You are actually willing to fight for a man 20 years older than you that just told you to your face that he is getting back with his wife-mother of his children? You just sold your soul!! Exactly what advise are looking for? What is there to compete for anyway? They will most probably remarry and he will definitely not tell the wife about you… And we go around wondering why men dont respect women and take us for granted when we are the ones who think so lowly of ourselves and give them the upper hand… Volunteer makhwapheni is what you are my dear

    1. @ Lukha I wonder too, what is it that she needs advice about because she has clearly made her decision?

      Some people are attention seekers nje, @ big fan stop wasting our time ne and let people with real problems be helped mxm!!!

  2. Jews “suffer ” but not in the way blacks do. Plus white capital tends to tiptoe around them so we can’t be comparing struggles not to mention a lot of white capital is Jewish that supports other Jews. To be fair black people needs to learn the hustle of other people. Rudzani is now irritating, you wouldn’t think that she is college-educated. As for Big Fan your man seems to be emasculated and not an alpha so this wife can walk all over him and come back? Don’t compete but rather inspire him to stand up for himself. Once he sees how you genuinely care about him and want peace for him and for him to grow a backbone he will ultimately choose you. Support him, remove the competition mentality and make him thrive.

    1. Yes. Encourage him to stand up for himself. He may feel like since you are years younger than him, you will do unto him as his wife did. Try create a bond with his kids so he can see that nawe you can be a mother to them and therefore he dont need that good for nothing wife. Owh obe last thing, do you see your future with this guy, like marriage etc?

        1. It’s what she wants. She is 26 not 16. We all can’t play with our age mates and some ladies find much older guys mature and nice. These older guys also don’t act typical “old” like back in the day.

  3. Do you guys actually edit your work before posting it – wedding versus funeral…..very unprofessional! And I find it with most of your blogs.

    1. I mean you could tell that it was a mistake and what he meant. You do not pay for Mike’s work hence if it doesn’t kill or harm anyone and you actually know what he meant. Let it go please!! this is unneccessary

      1. Exactly some people like to be unnecessary no wonder the other blogs were cancelled because of people like Zoe that only judge.

      2. lil, Zoe is right Mike always makes mistake, how is he to get sponsors when he makes so many mistakes, stop buying face and rather motivate him to pay attention to what he does so he can better his work. Criticism should be given without favor where it is due!!!

      1. Lol ai she appointed herself I Guess, Zoe that was very rude of you and unnecessary hle Mike is doing a good job and wena you think you know better mxm some people though.

    2. I get your point dear but next time just highlight areas to be corrected so that bra Mike can edit them. lets work together and encourage each other. I very sure he is trying his very best, if we can help, lets do so.

  4. The way people like catching feelings to everything though. You just read and don’t complain
    Thank you Mike and you are to good

  5. Big fan love has no age sweetheart…who judges them when they do God knows what..i dont understand why some people are raising the age issue, we are way past that era … and its not like she and the guy cheated on the ex wife….but you should have a talk with him again, its either he wants you or her…..i wouldnt advise that you became the side chick because you might get hurt at some point

  6. Lungis life is dramatic I tell you, it’s like one issue after the other, it’s so challenging stru

    26year old, cha sisi le competition okhuluma ngayo angiyiboni total. You can try to push to be in this man’s life but it looks to me like he will go back to the wife coz they share a lot together. And it all depends on him ukuthi uthanda bani phakathi kwenu but I think you already know the answer to that, but good luck

  7. Thanks mickey. haibo big fan do you think this guy will say no to a woman throwing herself to him. Office romance are a no go area. I suggest you stop men talk my dear. you still young to be a side dish

  8. If you find a mistake in this blog, just address it in an appropriate manner, or just stop reading, simple. no need to be rude about it, those who edit are human beings as well so they bound to make a mistake here and there. Was it really necessary to use the word “unprofessional” ? Come on now

  9. 26 year Old ai doll age ain’t nothing but a number kodwa appointing yourself to be a side dish is not worth it I do not mean t judge but you deserve better and you seem to know what the meaning of love is as you say you are prepared to fight for him, so instead of being in a competition with ex wife rather show him how much love you have for him and can give him, pray to God to help you with your situation and you will see everything will work out just make sure you put God in everything you do with your relationship and life….

  10. Your story almost resembles mine, except for the ex wife part:-). I’m dating an older guy-much older than me and we’ve had to overcome huge differences, chief among them our families being against the whole thing cause is unusual. Being patient and not doubting that this is what we want has been helped a lot. I’m telling you all this to say, if it’s both what you want then fight for him, BUT he must also be fighting for you. Do not settle for less, it will hurt terribly in the future if you settle for being a side dish, because you love him. At 46 he knows what he wants and he’ll make it known to you. I therefor advise you to ask him what his decision is regarding the ex wife situation, if he is going back to her, then for the sake of your heart walk away nana, it wont be worth the hurt. It’s one thing to be a side dish because one is a gold digger (for lack of a better term) there are no feelings in this, but it’s a whole different game when you are in love with someone-your heart is invested, so you run the risk of hurting because love calls for vulnerability, and this is not a bad thing when it’s mutual.
    So, be honest about being in love with him to set the tone of your seriousness and find out about the ex wife situation. If he’s not going back with his ex wife then by all means make it work. It wont be easy cause dating an older guy comes with a lot of differences and requires understanding and a whole lot of patience, but it’s amazing and worth if you’re both in love.
    Please don’t invest your heart if he’s not into you. You have to establish this part first. I wish you all the best hun.

  11. Ubhuti Mike uzonwabele bethuna. Can’t be thinking about funerals. Anyways, we all know what he meant so andi-understandi le ngxokozelo ngathi kufe umntu, yhu.

    Shame usisi wabantu, phandliwe yi Silver Fox. But ke uzomthini umntu xa sele esenzile isigqibo sakhe. This fighting for a man business doesn’t sit well with me shame.

  12. Thanks Mike……Rudzani though…really creepy character.Coupled with her work issues it may be time for Lungi to leave this place too much drama….racism should NEVER be condoned or accepted simply because ‘sizothini’ (shrugs shoulders) and Mr.Gold very bad boss for blatantlh saying keep your head down and do what you do…we need to stop constantly giving people piwer over us and further teaching them how to treat us by stomaching their bullshit and then acting outraged when they take the bait.Lungi needs ro fight fire with fire…they dont expect her to stand up to them also bringyour political friend or name drop in the office and watch them squirm at all the negative publicity (yes sometimes yoh must take your cards out and play them ) haha

  13. Thanks Mike.Loving how Zimbabwe is featuring in your stories lately.Keep it up.
    Q&N
    Doubt you will be able to win him over, after all he claims the ex wife soon to be official wife again did he still took her back.You welcome to try though

  14. Haaibo…

    Bra Mike… all these women have men problems, someone please get me a man so that I can have some to write too mike… #sigh

  15. This book is incredulous! I was reading a scene where LungI was about to muff the quite venda lady and the scene completely disappeared

    1. @ Bathong, my sentiments exactly, and then you have these ignorant puppets telling us that we must ignore his mistakes, mxm!!!

      1. haybo , kanti how do you guys read? she left the hotel mos after refusing to muff the venda girl, what must happen now?

        if you have your story lines, then write your damn blogs and let Mike write his own the way he wants too. tshin madoda!!!!

  16. Thanks Mikey

    26 Year old, Love only is not good enough to sustain a relationship but that’s me, maybe I have little faith I don’t believe in everything. but if you want to be part of that family arrangement, just make sure you are not hidden, the minute you have to hide, that’s a problem right there. and you don’t need to compete in any relationship even if its not this one. Men don’t have to compete for shyt why put yourself under pressure.

  17. Y’all should just chill. Save your data and stop following the blog if what you here for is to put your red pens in use.

  18. Constructive criticism is always healthy. Re ska mo roga.

    For some to say people say others should just stop following the blog it’s actually not on. Ke bo ignorant.

    Without people’s datas how will Mike get the support? How will the blog be voted number one if 70% of people just decide to save their datas?

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