“You should never be afraid to challenge or disagree with your partner. If he or she was always right then they would be God. We all make mistakes and we need to accommodate each other even when we disagree!” Mike Maphoto
There is a Zimbabwean song I heard recently, I had to ask someone to translate it for me so I hope we got it right. It’s about a man who is questioning if there is true love out there or if the thing called is just fake. I am reminded of it because of Sfiso and I right now especially the me attending the funeral part. The song is by an artist called Steve Makoni and its words (translated) go something like,
“(Woman) if you not there I don’t sleep,
(Man) Yet first thing tomorrow morning your eyes are pure white?
(Woman) If you not there I don’t eat,
(Man) So who finished the mealie meal?
Man: Who has true love in this world because it looks like we all just whiling up time and chilling together.
(People) Someone please grab that man, he might fall into that hole, the woman lying in there is his wife but I can swear before the sun sets someone will have hit one him!
The woman here is now a widow, the man who died is her husband but I swear on this very woman that before it even sinks, she will have been hit on!
We tell each other that if you are sick, I will get sick too, if you die, I will die too but how many people do you know who lost someone they loved yet today we are here together?
It can be at a funeral, the boyfriends\girlfriends are the first to arrive to offer their condolences but this is just to show I was there for you but we still on.
It can be at a wedding, the boyfriends\makhwapeni are the first ones to arrive to say congratulations and more congratulations but meanwhile they wink at each other reminding each other nothing changes!
You are telling us that your husband went far for work so a bit of fresh air at last yet you the wife we finding you at all these parties with who then?
And you father, your wife has just given birth, it’s a baby girl you tell us, so who is that woman who is congratulating you whilst your are holding her ass?
You say that you woke up very early to go to the hospital, you tell us she is slept a better and is feeling well but who is the woman you are kissing right now father?”
Ok hope I did not butcher that royally. I did not know Sfiso well enough to attend his wife’s wedding but because we had spoken recently and I had slept with him I knew it was important for me to attend. In times of discomfort you can’t call yourself a friend if you can’t wish them well in bad times. I had to attend I don’t think I had much of a choice. For many the fact that we had cheated on the deceased in life it might mean that it would be inappropriate for me to attend but who is fooling who. I can assure you that at least one party you threw or attended you have been there with the person your partner is either cheating with or cheated on you with, you just didn’t know. That’s South Africa, that’s #moralsmustfall so we can tell each other a million things on what good people we are but take a look in the mirror before you call yourself good because blasphemy won’t take you to heaven! Stru! Be honest to yourself!
“Ok so when are we leaving? I need to fix a few things first before we go?”
Miriam asked me. She was the one who had called so why was she asking me this now.
“I don’t know. You will have to tell me because I am surprised you not going with your hubby?”
I told her.
“I would have gone with him but he wants to go early so that he can help with things there. They are pretty close so he is driving with him from the airport. It’s such a sad time though!”
She told me.
“I know hey. He told me about the wife and the baby. Now I wonder how he is going to survive being so far away from home alone without her!”
“Sfiso is strong. He will pull through this and it won’t be easy. I just hope he won’t do something stupid. My advice to him would be to take it one day at a time. It’s such hard work trying to survive such a loss!”
I don’t remember Miriam speaking this maturely before. Marriage had really changed her and I daresay it had calmed her down that’s for certain! When she was her old self this was the time she would be say free pass, visa, let’s go party. With all this said though I could not tell whether she was happy or not. A person who parties a lot when they are forced to calm down because of marriage they tend to struggle. This being bottled and caged often means at some point they will explode so with Miriam it was only a matter of when.
“Yes it is. Let’s talk tomorrow, I have had a long day and tomorrow will be longer still.”
I told her. I wanted to rest. The day had been way too hectic. Tomorrow I still had to deal with racists and what they will throw at me. Story of my life. I just passed out. I did not even eat.
In the morning I woke to a very strange sms. It read,
“I am sorry about yesterday. I don’t know what got into me. I was so hell bent on revenge I almost made a bad situation into a disaster. I don’t think I will be pressing charges at work either even though Ndini is insisting that I do. You won’t be hearing from me anymore!”
That was from none other than Rudzani. It reminded me of what I wanted to do, block! I blocked her number immediately. The only time she could talk to me was if it was at work. No more personal correspondence between us. We were not friends and this girl was actually quite unhinged. Don’t fool yourself, quiet people are dangerous! Have you ever heard of a serial killer who was loud and outgoing? No!
“Today is going to be a good day!”
I told myself as I was getting ready for the day.
“Today is going to be a good day!”
I walked out the same time as Mbuso and Ntheteng.
“Good morning Aunty Lungi!”
The little angel shouted from her car window. It was going to take a miracle for Mbuso to avoid me because with the way his daughter loved me, it was mission impossible for him.
“Good morning my baby! Have a nice day at school today ok!”
I shouted back but not too loudly. Mbuso just waved and did not say anything. He was not being salty though because we were both late. I walked into the office with a smile on my face! I greeted everyone even people I don’t normally greet. I went to the kitchen to get coffee and back to my office. It felt as though I had so much work so I dived into it. I only raised my head when there was a knock and it was Mr. Gold.
“Sir you are back! Finally! How was your trip?”
I asked him with the biggest smile. I think he was very surprised at my attitude because I never get personal with him.
“It was fine thanks. Can I come in? For a quick chat?”
“Please come in, no problem at all. I could do with some company. I have been at this for hours anyway so it’s refreshing!”
I told him. If he was angry at something before I am certain I had confused the enemy.
He said sitting down. He looked at me for a while and I realized that he did not know how to start the conversation.
“Mr. Gold I don’t bite. I take it you spoke to Ms. Du Toit?”
I asked him taking the bull by the horns.
“Yes I did. I leave you for two days and I come back and find people in tears!”
He said exasperated!
“In tears? I am lost! I am not crying!”
I told him.
“Yeah I can see that but Nicolene is crying because of what happened in the meeting and Ms Du Toit is also crying saying that you did not respect her!”
My smile immediately left my face.
“I did not respect her?”
I asked him without raising my voice as though I was enquiring which worked for me. I did not want to sound incredulous.
“Yes. She is very unhappy and I am told that she wants to lay a formal complaint against you. Please just go apologize to her to avoid any problems going forward. I don’t like this things of when colleagues go against each other!”
I don’t think in his head he even imagined for one moment that I could have been the wronged party here.
“Not before she apologizes to me first!”
I told him without blinking an eyelid.
“She is your superior, you can’t hope to fight this and win!”
He warned me.
“Fight what? Following company procedure?”
I asked him.
“Look around you Khanyi, I like you ok, you are brilliant at your job but you know the politics around here. You keep your head down and get on with the work!”
He said in what almost a whisper. Had he just admitted to racism? Why had I not recorded this conversation?
“Did you just say that to me? You are white and on the other side so you have no idea how frustrating it is to be me! At least you go home and smile!”
I told him so annoyed at this man’s nerve!
“You think so! I am a Jew Khanyi and yes my skin might be light be lighter than yours but amongst ‘us’ white people as you think I am, I am the bottom of that food chain.”
I won’t lie I was so confused by that.
I asked him.
“So you thought there was no xenophobia amongst us? Do you even know anything about Jews and what we fight every day?”
He asked me.
“All I know is about world war two and Hitler and that was over 80 years ago so it doesn’t count!”
I told him just exposing more of my ignorance.
“I will pretend you didn’t say that because you clearly don’t know. Read a book or two to learn the truth about how Jews have suffered in the world, are still suffering then read about what Jews went through during apartheid! I am not justifying anything, please don’t get me wrong, all I am saying is we all have a struggle and in companies like this you might appear a hero for taking them on but usually they win. I have a meeting now!”
Bloody agent nxa! Trying to confuse me with nonsense!
******* The End*********
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
What’s your secret? How do you do it? Your stories I must say are amazing and always entertaining. Well done sir.
I am 26 and I have been working for two years. I joined the company I work for straight out of university. I work for a huge company and within the first few weeks I got a crush on this older guy at work. It started off as me feeling sorry for him as he was a bit of a loner. He is 46 now. I know this because I have stalked him since I met him. I know he is divorced, has two kids and doesn’t drink. He is a bit religious but I am not sure to what extent. The story behind his divorce is that his wife cheated on him several times and even with his own best friend. I have never dated an older guy but I like this guy so much. Recently I heard that his wife was trying to make a comeback and she even came to the office. I was devastated so I decided that I have not wasted all this time checking out this man for nothing. I had already been talking to him a lot at work flirting where I could but the man never actually followed up. I don’t think he even noticed that I was doing my thing! Anyway I decided to ask him out straight up. I was so surprised when he agreed because I was certain he would reject me. We went out and we kissed. We went out three times in fact. He then told me that his wife wants them to get back and for the sake of the kids both families have agreed. I was angry and disappointed. I told him I was not going anywhere because I am in love with him which he did not object to. I have just signed myself up to be side dish and no regrets whatsoever but now I don’t know how to compete with the wife! This is not about knowing my place because as far as I am concerned they are still officially divorced so I stand a fair chance even though she has a head start.
A lot will judge, I understand but I am in love and I am not backing down. Please advise me on how I will compete with this woman who has a head start.