The first thing I asked myself was if I had left any clues that could have made him conclude that I was having an affair. I was very careful with what I did and by introducing my parents to Neo it made sense to me that when I say I had a boyfriend. In their eyes it should be Neo. When you have a sugar daddy and want to protect them from that reality it means you have to have a boyfriend that you can introduce them to. That’s just how I see it. This way you can explain any gifts or trips you take. They might not like it but introducing them presents a double edged sword for them. On the one hand you argue and rightfully so that you are open with them so they have nothing to fear. You present the image of a good child who knows the right things to do hence why you don’t want it to be a secret. As a girl child it’s tricky though because not all parents are open minded to honesty and openness. Some parents want you to treat the fact that you have a boyfriend like a nuclear secret and these are the parents that get surprised when you come home pregnant. To them God did it because they never knew you had a man. The second side of the knife is the one where even though you might have told them, it’s in a way admitting that their daughter is getting chowed! That’s not a pleasant thought but it’s their fault really for lying to us in the first place that babies come from Shoprite!
“Ah dad come on, are you serious right now?”
I asked him trying to sound very surprised; my mother was the one who could tell when I was lying not my father. Mothers have that sixth sense and this why often I got away with things from Mom and not Dad.
“I want a yes or a no. Stop trying to change this!”
He said. He was actually angry. He was not here to have a friendly conversation.
“I can’t believe you stopped from going to study to ask me this. Dad I don’t have a sugar daddy or a blesser as it’s what they are called nowadays. I am too busy fighting with Neo, the boy my age you don’t like, to look for one not that I want one!”
I told him. When you lie, you must always add a detail they relate to. In this case I used Neo because my father did not like Neo as to him Neo was the reason I had tried to kill myself.
“Explain the trip then? When I offered Neo money to contribute to the trip he said you had paid for it! I asked your mother if she had given you the money and she said no!”
Ok I did not expect that part of the investigation but all the best liars always have an answer. I was getting good at this if I should say so myself.
“You have Neo’s number! Dad how is it right that you have my boyfriend’s number?”
I asked him. I was turning the tables and I raised my voice in the process something which I know irritates the hell out of him. My father is really a cool dad but at times he is still a man’s man especially when you raise your voice to him.
“Do not raise your voice to me Palesa!”
He snapped very annoyed at me. Men don’t like when their kids, especially daughters raise their voices to them. It is considered disrespectful, rude and uncultured.
“I can’t help it! How is it right that you have my boyfriend’s number? The same boyfriend you told me to get rid of in spite of how much I like him! You want me to end up like all these girls in residence who have blessers and are prostituting themselves in clubs for drinks? Is that what you want? I get a good boy who is respectful, loving, and loyal and yes young but no, Palesa must not date? Is that it?”
I asked him going on the offensive. I knew I had him on the ropes because once I had angered him he could not think straight and I was making good points.
“Palesa you are my daughter, I love you very much and there is nothing I will not do for my daughters no matter what your mother tells you!”
He started. With divorced parents, even if you fight about the weather somewhere somehow blame will be apportioned on the other and my parents were no different.
“The girls that get pregnant usually are not the ones that date bad boys, no, it’s the ones that date the good ones and because they are good these girls get complacent! It’s the ones you least expect that give you problems. With a bad boy at least you go there prepared for his bullshit!”
Did my father just use the world “Bullshit”
Yes he did!
“Dad you making me laugh, do you realize that you just used the word bullshit with me?”
I asked him and laughed. He seemed a bit confused but this was part two of my plan. Make him angry first to make him unclear about why had come here in the first place then make the whole thing a joke.
“Oh I am sorry, I didn’t realize! What was I saying?”
He said a bit embarrassed too by that but it was my turn to go in for the kill!
“Dad listen, I know the whole bad boy speech, in high school you told us to stay away from them and now you are saying maybe they are better off! I am not interested in babies right now. I am focused on books and books right now. I love Neo, you know I do, please don’t take that away from me!”
I reassured him and at the same time pleaded with him. Note how I did not mention sugar daddies or blessers this time around. That was the trick. The conversation had started with them but now the story was about Neo. What I had done was make him feel like he was in charge of my fate by putting my relationship in his hands.
“I don’t want to take that away from you, I just want you to be safe. These boys out there are not good. As for sugar daddies or blessers as you put it, you are beautiful and they just want to exploit that beauty! Your mom and I didn’t work so hard to create such a wonderful person for someone to come along and abuse that!”
He continued. My dad was producing gems today. Had he just said mum and him had ‘fucked’ so hard to create a beautiful baby? I wanted to laugh but I didn’t because he was serious but if ‘fucking’ so hard can create beauty then thank you mum and dad!
“You asked a question as to where I got the money from and I want to put you at ease, I do promotions at night!”
He asked incredulously. He knew what it was just that he never thought I did them being as lazy as I was.
“Every girl does promotions at one time or the other. It’s almost like a rite of passage!”
I tried to explain to him. The promotion industry is like slave labour for young girls coming to college or university. You work at night to promote goods to often drunk, rowdy and touchy people especially men as its often alcohol or cigarettes. Most Promo Girls are forced to dress in scandalous outfits as remember sex sales and more clients talk to you when you dressed like that. I would never do promotions even if you paid me, its filthy and a cheap form of prostitution so I was obviously lying. Imagine having to promote in winter? No thanks! My mother knew my views on this but clear my dad didn’t so he bought it.
“I want you to quit these promotions. You must focus on school!”
He told me.
“I am focused dad you know this and what’s good about this is that Khanyi and I were the best sellers and won a competition to go to Dubai. I have been scared to tell you and mum because you are not supportive. The tickets are expiring in two weeks even and I can’t even go because you don’t trust me!”
It was like I had dropped a bombshell the way he sat up when I said that but there it was, it was finally out.
“A trip to Dubai?”
He asked eyes wide open.
“Yes we did but to you everything is a conspiracy! Imagine I could not even share such good news with you!”
I emphasized it.
“They are paying for everything, trip and accommodation but don’t give much in the way of budget. It would have been fun and reward for all the long hours I worked but look at me; I am looking forward to go going to Pretoria North when I could be in Dubai!”
Ok that was a low blow, there was nothing wrong with going back to Pretoria North, and I mean hey, we have Wonderpark Mall right vs. Dubai Mall! I am just saying!
“No you should have told us. Give me the number of the agency so that I can call them tomorrow and if it’s legitimate then by all means you must go. I will speak to your mother don’t worry!”
He said offering to help. I had not expected this conversation to turn out this way but you know what, I had found an opening and took the chance.
“Are you serious dad? Mum is difficult I don’t want you to get in trouble!”
I asked him but it was all part of the plan.
“Yes I am serious! How many people from our family have gone overseas? I would be mad to deny you that?”
Technically Dubai is not overseas but oh well,
O ska bora moreki!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Great work as always, thank you!
I am 27 years old, graduated three years ago. I have a degree in engineering and when I left school I thought I would get a job immediately but things did not work according to plan. I was dating a beautiful lady from my neighbourhood. I did not have money or anything for her but for the first year after university she stood by me. She was not working but her parents have money so she would give me money here and there. Eventually she gave up on us and told me to my face that she needs a man with money to take care of her. I was so hurt but I understood that coming from a family like hers she could not be with me. She started dating some rich guy who was abusive towards her but she did not leave him. I guess money was more important than safety. People used to laugh at me that I got dumped because of poverty. Last year June I got a job at Anglo! It pays well and I started taking care of myself and my family. We are from the same neighbourhood so people talk. Next thing she is back saying that she made a mistake and wants us to get back together. I loved this girl and when she left I understood why she had to go. I have grown up and although I still have feelings for her I don’t trust her. We slept together again and I feel I did it out of revenge and not out of love. She says she is in love with me but I don’t think I feel the same way.
What should I do about this situation? Is she taking advantage of me?