There comes a time in almost every affair where the makhwapeni has to deal with the wife. It’s amazing how men can rule the world, control it and have the power to make or break but they cannot seem to avoid getting caught by the wife. It’s always like that and when I think of it I wonder they even managed to juggle two women in the first place. The problem right now was not that the wife was calling; the problem was that I was on the road with Neo. I am not even sure whether he could hear my phone call as he was right here! I had planned for this very moment but in my planning my boyfriend would not be sitting right next to me.
I remember it so well, we were sitting in his office and he had just received a call from his wife. I had known him for about a month even so you can imagine when I say it was too soon I meant it.
“You know what? There is something I must teach you now before we go any further and it’s important that you listen! I know you might find it a bit weird but it’s really important that we have this discussion!”
He said smiling but I could tell he was serious even now when I was still figuring him out. He had used the word ‘important’ twice so I guess whatever it was he wanted to say it meant something to him.
“There will come a day when you might get a call from my wife or even bump into her with me…”
He said and he paused. He probably did this because my eyes widened in shock
“I don’t want to talk to your wife!”
I immediately protested. What was this dude talking about? Had he lost his mind? Wives when you are cheating with their husbands are like meeting a hungry lion in the dark, they are ferocious and will fight to the last breathe, physically at that, to get their points across.
“I don’t want you to either but am not stupid these things and for some reason people never prepare themselves for that moment. I am not people I am me so we will discuss it!”
He said. My initial thought was how awkward this was but it made sense. He was smart. When you are cheating and both of you know your place, you must always prepare for worst case scenario and this is what he was doing.
“Ok yes I am listening?”
I told him sitting up to pay more attention to him not that I was not listening.
“If she ever calls you she will most certainly be asking either who you are to me or how I know you. Either way you can’t stutter or act surprised. You will have to be very calm because if you panic you will get us both caught!”
“Ok what do I say?”
“Well you will tell her you are the group leader of our student program and you answer directly to me!”
He told me.
“Do you even have a student program?”
I asked him.
“We do and they answer to my office. Not to me directly. It was my wife’s idea to open one so she will believe you that much I am certain of!”
I was not too sure this was solid though because if it was her idea then she had some kind of oversight on it.
“What if she asks a lot of questions? Will I be able to answer? I say this because if this was her idea then it means that she might want to know how it’s going!”
I explained to him. He thought about it for a minute then he stood up and went to some drawer at the back of the office.
“Here is the brochure! Please read it so that you know what we do there! That’s all you will need to know. She will not ask further than that! She is too busy doing her own things!”
He said with a smile. Men are good at creating elaborate lies.
“How long have you been planning this?”
I asked him because it was obvious that he had not just thought about this. This is what crooks do, they plan ahead. If you have a man who gets caught so easily in a lie that means that he is not really a player but a chancer! He laughed before he answered,
“Like I said, it’s something that occurred to me that you must always have a plan. You can’t plan for everything else and screw up on this one because small as it might sound, it’s probably one of the most important plans you can ever make in your marriage!”
I looked at him and I really wanted to make a slow clap and stand up as I do it because he deserved a rising ovation.
“Yes ma’am how are you maam?”
I replied cheerfully as though I was happy to hear from her. I didn’t even know who she was so the fact that she would buy the happiness was slim. This however eased Neo immediately because he could see it was not a call I was avoiding as he had initially thought.
“I found your number on my husband’s phone, who are you to him?”
She asked without greeting me back. I explained to her exactly what her husband and I had agreed upon. It’s a good thing too that I remembered everything about that brochure because when he made me read it he also asked me questions later. She was more than just convinced and before she hung up she asked me where I was going since she could hear the car,
“I am with boyfriend Neo we going on a mini break. I was in hospital recently so he is taking me away!”
I told her.
“That’s very sweet. I wish my husband could take me on holiday once in a while!”
She said. We chatted a bit more but about general stuff mostly about the protests and how they were affecting exams.
“Can I greet your boyfriend?”
She said. I was a bit nervous about that but I figured she was fishing so I told to go head.
“Baby, she wants to say hi!”
I told him. He nodded. This helped me also in that he would know for certain I was talking to a woman.
“Good afternoon maam!”
He said. I think she just greeted because he did not take long. The last part he said was,
“Don’t worry maam I will take care of her!”
And he laughed as he said that. He gave me back my phone and I told him not flirt she was married. She laughed when she came back,
“He sounds like a nice young man!”
“Thank you maam!”
She hung up I believe satisfied with what we had discussed.
“Who was that and what is that student what what committee you spoke about?”
Neo asked as soon as I hung up. Again I stayed calm. I had not told him who was calling so here was I think the awkward part about to come out.
“Remember that guy who I said is seeing my mum, that’s his wife!”
I told him. He looked at me very confused but I rolled my eyes as though I was saying ‘ke tla reng?’
“In short the husband wants me to join some program their company is offering and the person who started is happens to be his wife. It’s weird I know but it’s an opportunity!”
I told him. I could see from his face that he was not happy about the idea. His face sunk immediately.
“Aowa Palesa you can’t take that job? Come on now, your mom is dating the guy isn’t that a bit much?”
He asked me.
“What do you mean I can’t take it Neo? You told me that when he gave you the opportunity to come tour his company you had no choice but to go because it was a huge opportunity so how is it any less of an opportunity for me?”
I asked him defensively. I knew how to play my part for him.
“Its not that I don’t think it’s an opportunity, these things have consequences and when shit hits the fan you will be caught right in the middle of it if you get that job!”
He told me trying to drive his point across and at the same time trying to calm me down.
“The point is, it’s an opportunity, and I need the experience and the money anyway so I will take it. If shit hits the fan then we will cross that bridge when we get there!”
I told him.
“What if I get a job there too? Have you considered how it will affect my status there?”
“You are being selfish love. You need a job as much as I do. You are exploiting a situation just like I am but to you its better in your eyes if it were you, what about me? Are you going to give me a job?”
I asked him.
“I am not the one whose mom is sleeping with the boss though don’t you get it!”
He retorted cheekily.
“It’s because my mom is sleeping with him that you are even getting this opportunity so don’t make her sound cheap! Let’s get the jobs and move on!”
I told him. He could see I was getting angry because now I folded my arms across my chest and was looking outside. There was silence for about ten minutes which was only broken because the navigator wanted us to turn. We were there already. It was not so far out of Pretoria after all.
“Love I am sorry. Please let’s not start this getaway on a sour note. You are right, we both have to exploit whatever opportunities we get!”
He said. I told him it was fine but he must not disrespect my mother like that of which he agreed and apologized again. We were here at last and the place looked as nice as I had hoped #baecation. I called my mum and told her we had arrived safe and all was well. I also called Khanyi to tell her the same thing.
“Let’s take a walk before we settle in. We can see what the place has to offer and then we will then come back and unpack!”
I told him excited.
“Yes that makes sense!”
He said. I stretched out my hand to him so we could hold hands whilst we walk. It’s what people do on holiday. I took a few pictures and update my instagram pictures with the hashtag #baecation just for control so that people must know. The picture was a selfie stick picture of him and me. I tagged him when I posted it.
Five minutes later there was this comment from someone I don’t even know written
“@mangmang212 isn’t that the guy who was kissing your friend at Churchills on Friday? I swear its him so who is this bitch?”
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for the amazing writing you have given us these last few years. I doubt very much there are many people with your talent with words. Your stories are always balanced, dramatic and always have a lesson to teach. That’s a rare gift.
My problem, I have been married to my husband for three years now. I am 30 and he is 33. A year after we got married one of my friends told me she saw him with another woman in a club. That night its true he had gone clubbing with his boys with my permission as he never went anywhere at all. One of his friends was having his bachelors so it was club party. I was obviously angry and I confronted him. He took out his phone to show him pictures of the event and there were women in the pictures. He explained that these were club people and that yes he had taken pictures with females. After I pressed him hard he confessed he had kissed one of the girls but it ended there in the club no numbers exchanged. I felt so betrayed by him I punished him for three months. He slept in the spare bedroom, did not go anywhere and his phone was always with me to see if the girl would call. She never did, he never did anything. I never full forgave him though because every time we had a fight I would bring it up. We had a baby a year after this and I started to feel self conscious with my body. He would reassure and all but I felt he preferred other women. I don’t know if he cheated. Six months ago I cheated. I went to a friend’s braai and my husband stayed home with the baby. We had fought earlier because he wanted to drink knowing he would be babysitting. I met a guy there and I slept with him. It was out of town so was sleeping at my friends. The guilt has been killing me ever since. I am so ashamed and I feel dirty. It’s been six months and every time I look at him after what I put him through for kissing that girl I just fall apart. My marriage is starting to suffer because I am so defensive and angry at myself. What can I do to fix this short of confessing?