We are not a modern family by any means so no I do not support my mother inviting Neo to my house. Yesterday we had dinner as a family and that already was once too many times for me. I had let it slide because they were doing it for me thinking they wanted people close to me around. When he did not come surely they should have seen it as a sign. She must not force things. What kind of self respecting black family invites their daughter’s boyfriend to supper anyway? Let’s not start these white tendencies now and pretend to be people we are not. Neo could definitely not come. I appreciate that my mother knows my boyfriend but they should not be on calling terms. I don’t come from Atteridgeville where your boyfriend is supposed to bring a braai pack every time he visits. What kind of nonsense is this? I was not going to take this lying down. I called Neo. He had so readily agreed I am sure just to please my mother without thinking this through. He must grow a back bone!
“Hey love! Did my mom call you?”
I asked him even though I already knew the answer to that. I am not sure why I even asked that.
“Yes she did. She was so sweet. She said because I missed supper yesterday there was no way she could not let it go so I must make supper tonight!”
“I beg to differ. You can’t come to supper!”
I told him straight up. Some thing you do not need to beat around the bush on. Tell the person the truth.
He asked me like it was a question that made sense in the first place.
“And then what? I said you can’t come to dinner! You want my father to kill you? Come on dude be realistic le wena? You can’t be invited to everything and say yes maam! Sometimes you need to learn how to say no!”
I told him.
“Ok you making me look dumb right now. Your mother called and she asked. I was not going to be rude to her! It’s not my thing. I am respectful and polite!”
He explained getting a bit defensive. Indeed he was respectful and polite but even that has a time and place.
“That’s good for you but not on this occasion. I am still trying to fix things between you and I, my mother and I seem to be working things out too and the last thing I want them is to use you as the thing they have in common and want to destroy!”
I told him. He paused for a moment and I even thought he was gone.
“Did you just say your parents are working things out?”
He asked me.
“Did I stutter?”
“Ok that was unnecessarily rude!”
“Anyway I asked because that boyfriend of hers called me not ten minutes ago asking me to come see him at his company for that tour he promised!”
I could hear my heart drop to the floor with a thud. He meant Sam. I had told him Sam was my mother’s boyfriend and Sam had actually befriended him.
“Oh wow, what are you going to do?”
I asked him.
“This is the opportunity of a life time of course I am going to go but won’t it be awkward knowing that your parents are trying to work things out whilst he is chowing on the side!”
I laughed at the word ‘chowing’ just to make it sound authentic but reality is my heart was beating so fast it could pop out! When Sam had offered to help Neo I had said no. I remember I had even fought him on it. However, knowing how scarce jobs are I could not deny him this even if it had potential to cost me dearly. I say this with all my heart, never be poor! Poverty is the worst sin God could ever have created because when you don’t have options you will sacrifice even what you call decency to try make something for yourself.
“It’s my mom’s things love you do what you have to do and get that scholarship or job or whatever!”
I told him. It’s the best advice I could give. He needed this and I wanted this for him. People are often quick to say that girls like me are selfish to sleep with these rich older married men but truthfully we are not. We benefit so many people from our sacrifice. So you think I want to suck a dick that was born during apartheid for the fun of it or because I love history so much? Get the fuck out of here with those deputy Jesus tendencies! I am a born free but being born free does not mean anything if you can’t get jobs, can’t enjoy life and hell yeah if I have to date people with enough money to share I will do it. Why batho judge beats me because I am doing me and you are doing you? I have never come to your house to ask your broke ass for anything yet one day when this blesser gives me a job you will be the one at my doorstep begging me for opportunities! I will say no mind you because I got that job on the strength of my back and how flexible I was in bed whilst you spent your time praying in a tent at church singing in the worship team!
“Do you really think I was going to bring up your mom though?”
He said laughing. OK that was a bit dumb of me though.
“Ok I give you that?”
“If I don’t come to dinner though won’t it mess up my relationship with your mom who in turn would spoil the relationship with her dude? I really want this and I don’t see how this helps me at all!”
“Dude come on. It’s not like you can bring up the interview in front of my dad because he too will ask questions. Let me handle my mom ok, everything will be fine!”
I reassured him for selfish reasons! I just don’t understand him at times.
“Are we going or not? It’s getting late!”
Khanyi said to me as soon as I hung up. Wonderpark was not that far. It was a walkable distance but the heat is not welcome. Pretoria on average is 2 degrees warmer that Polokwane officially so you can imagine how hot it really is here. I took my bank card and we left.
“Just so you know I prefer Sandton!”
Khanyi said when we walked into Wonderpark. I laughed and I told her I preferred it too but we had to make do with what we have. I remember when once upon a time this was heaven then it became Menlyn but now it’s Sandton. Never had any love for the inflated prices at Hyde Park. Who are they bullshitting? Its malls like Hyde Park that teach prostitution without even knowing it! Everything there is incredibly expensive you need two blessers just to eat! We were walking past the Dirty Lolli shop when someone called my name.
A voice said to me from behind. I turned around and there was my high school ex, Tshego! I hugged him obviously but it hit me that they were not lying when they said girls mature faster than women. He looked like a lost little boy and he was carrying a backpack on his back for absolutely no reason.
“Wow long time how you been?”
I said to him.
“Been good dawg how you been?”
Yup he had just called me dog. He was those lost generation boys that grew up kwaito and spoke tsotsi but because of hip hop they had to adopt English as a first language. The mix never worked.
“Khanyi, this is Tshego, Tshego my best friend Khanyi! We dated once upon a time!”
I told her.
“Nice to meet you Tshego!”
She said with a fake smile. She was clearly not interested in him as she stayed on her phone chatting.
“You are hot!”
He said by way of response to her.
“Really Tshego! You don’t grow up neh!”
I told him. It made sense to me now why I could never date my age again. He represented everything childish.
“So what you doing lately?”
I asked him.
“I am a rapper now Fam! You should listen to some of my shit I put up on Sound Cloud!”
He said proudly. Yup, I know, this was my ex. At 21 this was his prime I guess and I wanted to laugh but I was just ashamed for him.
“OH that’s great. I am glad you doing you hey! So when will I listen to your stuff on radio!”
I asked him.
“Ah you know how it goes? I am still hustling. Do you have any connects that you can hook me up to since you by Auckland Park! It mad tough hey!”
He said. He was genuinely asking and sincere which is what made it even sadder. Tshego was not always the brightest back in high school but he was damn good looking. Now he had added tattoos and he just looked like those skinny American rappers. I could see even now why he had appealed to me then but that was it. He did not excite me mentally or intellectually. He was a child in a man’s body.
“I don’t hey but if I hear of someone who can help you out I will hook you up I promise!”
I told him.
“Let me give you my digits! I changed numbers recently because bitches be hitting me up and I can’t focus!”
He said. I could hug him right now and tell him to snap out of it, go study or something but why burst his bubble! Cassper and crew have really ruined so many young people’s lives with their nice cars on social media. Now everyone thinks they can rap their way into riches and ‘bitches’. This epidemic is worse in Pretoria North because we are English enough to understand rap, good schools and cosmopolitan but black enough to still visit the townships our parents grew up in every weekend. Hip hop there is seen as though it’s in our blood.
My phone rang and the number was private.
“I need to see you today. It’s important. I know you at home but you don’t have a choice!”
He said. Come on now he could not visit me at home.
“I can’t do it I am at home Sam!”
I told him.
“You can and you will otherwise I will knock at your mothers door! See you at 8pm!”
He said. Was he mad!
8pm was Generations and there was no way I could leave because Legacy or not, my mother would be watching.
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Hello Mike, and the readers.
Okay here it goes; I’m a 22 year old female dating a guy who is 21 years old for 3 years now. Problem is, this guy is too friendly and have way too many female friends In all his social networks. Even though he shows me off, always bragging about what we have. Everyone on his social networks knows about us. But every time I go through his phone, I always see something that breaks my heart (pictures of girls, screenshots of him with them flirting). He has cheated once with a girl high school girl young enough to be his younger sister and I forgave him after he went all the way out to win me back. I’ve never ever doubted his love for me, that’s why I’m still with him (and we have a 1 year old daughter). But this thing is destroying me in every way. Even when he reassures me that I’m the only one for him, i still can’t help but feel like maybe I’m not good looking enough. He says i should stop worrying and that I’m Just being insecure.
Can you guys please tell me how do I deal with this? How do i fully trust him again? I really love this guy and he’s the only person I wanna grow up with