Blessed 43

Posted on Posted in Blessed are the Blessed

Looking at everything going on around us it felt as though my life was not certain. The strikes just gave me a level

of uncertainty which made me wonder if I was going or staying. I wanted to finish school early so I can get out of my mother’s hair. That’s the naivety of most students this thing of believing that we can get a job soon after school. For some reason we can do economic and statistics which tell us the reality of things outside of school but we fail to acknowledge how easy it is not to get that job. My little sister might have been naïve but she knew this all too well and often spoke about it. The news really can depress you. I know people will say at this stage since we not really going to school we might as well study but the reality is we had already missed two semester tests that contribute heavily to our year mark. This means then there was uncertainty as to what it is we were going to study. I looked at Khanyi and my sister as they concentrated on the TV and I went outside. I wanted to speak to my father. He had left abruptly yesterday from the dinner.


I said when he picked up the phone. It sounded as though I was on the car speaker as you know that funny echo that comes when you on the phone like that.

“Hey baby girl!”

He said cheerfully.

“Is everything ok? Last night you just left. It was as though one moment everything was fine and the next something irritated you!”

I told him.

“Ah really Palesa, nothing was wrong. It w was time to go home that’s all. I didn’t want to leave too late; you know the crime in that area!”

He said. I know when my father is lying and right now he was lying. Since when did he talk about crime? It’s not that he didn’t fear it but rather we had all grown up with it so it didn’t stop us from living.

“Come on dad I know when there is something you not telling me!”

I protested.

“There is nothing I promise. Listen baby girl, let me drive I will talk to you later!”

He said and with that he dismissed me and hung up. What on earth was going on with him? I went back to my room and sat on the bed. As I was sitting in the room I noticed that Khanyi’s phone was on the side of the bed charging. I already knew her pin. I went to her phone and I blocked my father’s number then deleted it off her phone. I didn’t have time to go through any of her messages for fear that she would walk in on me. She also had access to my phone so I changed the name I used for my father on my phone just in case she tried to still the number from me. I was not going to give her a chance. What ever happened last night with my dad had something to do with her.

“Were you talking to dad?”

Boitumelo said standing at the door. She startled me.

“Yes I was.”

I told her.

“I miss him you know. It was so nice having him here last night. Did you see how he and mom never fought even once? It was so refreshing yet so confusing!”

She said and we burst out laughing. It was true, my parents fought all the time which made it normal meaning when they didn’t fight we had reason not to worry.

“Yes I get what you mean!”

I told her at the end of my laughter.

“Please stand up!”

She said. That was an odd request. I did as she asked and I stood up with my hands gesturing to her my confusion at that request. She walked up to me and she gave me a big hug.

“I am glad my big sister is back too! I know I give you a hard time always but I love you just the same!”

She said and she let go and walked out as I said thank you! My sister was a very confusing person. Half the time you would swear she hated me then she will have moments like these. I heard the kitchen door open and close meaning she was on her way out, probably to the garage to buy airtime.

I went back to the TV room to join Khanyi and when I entered she smiled and said,

“Ok then so it’s decided then, today we not going to school!”

Khanyi declared after watching that. I laughed at her confidence in how she was saying it. She sounded very happy with the idea but she was forgetting the consequences of not completing the academic year.

“Yeah we are not but I also don’t want to stay in the house the whole day. I need something to keep me busy.”

I told her. This is why I did not like staying indoors. I got bored rather easily and that’s not what I wanted. When you stay in residence at school there is always something to do. You will never get bored.

“Maybe we should go shopping! You still have that money Sam gave you in Durban remember!”

Khanyi reminded me. I had actually forgotten about it. That was a good plan. There is no girl in the world that will not tell you how shopping is not fun especially if you were being spoiled by someone else’s money.

“That could be a nice outing neh!”

I said to her contemplating the idea which to be honest was not a bad one. Sam had given me money in Durban which I had said was for shopping. I also had the new shoes so I would need outfits to go with them. I was not about to wear floral jumpsuits from Edgars with Louboutins so I had to shop but this is not what I had told myself the money was for. I had an idea which I was not sure how it would turn out. I had not been lying when I said I wanted to take Neo away with me and I could do this now.

“Khanyi do you think it’s a good idea if Neo and I go away for a weekend? I need to go away with him because you know that after all is said and done I love him and I have to make things right somehow!”

I asked her. I thought she would disagree with me.

“Why a weekend?”

She asked me.

“I don’t get you?”

I asked her.

“Think about it, if you go during the week no one will suspect you if having left town. Already you dad is angry at Neo so why put him in that awkward spot so do it when he is busy and he can’t surprise visit you. Your mother will think you are at school, Sam will be too busy at work and Neo will be with you. Going during the week especially now that there are strikes is in your best interests!”

She said and she made sense.

“Besides Neo is faithful Shem, he is patient, he deserves it and you must spoil him!”

There was no sarcasm in her voice but at the back of my head that ‘shem’ meant a lot. It was like Neo was a toy that I was abusing. Maybe I should put him out of his misery and just break up with him without leading him on. For some reason it was so difficult to get rid of Sam and funny thing is I didn’t even love him. Truth be told getting a blesser is so hard no wonder why people are opening Facebook pages to sell people dreams. Every girl wants to be spoiled but realistically how many men out there are willing to do it and how many girls end up at the front of the line to get those blessings. If I dumped Sam chances of getting a new man would not be easy.

“Let’s look for accommodation then! I know a few nice places or rather have heard of a few!”

She said as we went on to Google. There are just so many places to go to. After we found a nice place I checked availability but it was fully booked and so was every place I searched after that.

“Must we just give up?”

I asked Khanyi after the excitement had been drained out of me. I was so excited when I was looking but now that excitement was gone.

“No, you can go to Limpopo! Everyone talks about Bela Bela, its nice there. Am told and you stay in a Protea!”

She said. That was a good idea. I am from Pretoria so I know what she was talking about. I called them to make enquiries and they said they had space available. I made a reservation but did not pay because I still had to do the most difficult part which is convincing Neo to come with.

“Now I have to call Neo, what if he says no?”

I asked Khanyi.

“You will have to convince him if he does! Speaking of Neo we need to figure out what to do with that Namibian bitch! She knows Neo is your man and she is trying to step into your territory!”

She said with an angry tone. I had not forgotten her either! I don’t believe in violence but this girl thought she could take Neo out on dates behind my back and it was fine! If a snake enters your house you beat it. We are going to see who the Khandeshi is after this! She had miscalculated if she thought I was weak and would allow such nonsense!

I called Neo!

“Baby I have made bookings for us to go to Mpumalanga… I know I didn’t ask you but I really think we need this time alone to rekindle and talk things through.”

I told him.

“When do you want us to go?”

He asked me.

“I was hoping tomorrow. With the strikes taking place I thought it made sense to do it now. You said you make your most money on weekends so I can’t really say let’s take the weekend and besides they have midweek specials!”

I told him which was true. These lodges don’t expect many guests during the week as people are working. During the week it works out for them if they have cheaper rates.

“Yeah I think I am game. I did say that there is a lot of pressure right now with all that’s been going on!”

He said and I was relieved. I honestly thought he would say no as that had become his favourite word lately. Everything you asked him he answered no.

“Oh wow, thanks, I was scared you would… Never mind! I need to go buy a bikini!”

I said and he laughed.

“You can’t even swim!”

He reminded me!

“Yeah but I can go into the water and take pictures!”

We laughed. Today at least, all was well in my life, my man was back and I was going to beat up some girl who thought she could take my mine right in my face.

Ke tlo go bontsa sefebe nyana sela go re ke nna mang. Palesa ga se wa tsealiwa monna.

*******The End*********

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto

Dear Mike and readers

Help me out guys. I got engaged to T in April this year. We have been dating since 2003 (have one kid together). Last yr I caught him cheating with 4 girls at the same time & told him its over. I never really got angry with him – so I gave him an ultimatum – either marry me or get out of my life for good. So he paid Lobola. My problem is that last year with these girls, he has been spending money on them & not supporting our son & his son from previous relationship. Always claiming he didn’t have money. So after I gave him the ultimatum & he became the *perfect man* for few months. Now he’s back to slacking off on supporting his kids, and I also heard rumours that he’s seeing someone on the side –but can’t really prove anything because he’s denying. It got to a point where I called a family meeting & I told his family everything including the cheating &his parents stand with me. He was angry why I told his parents about the cheating & says I did it to spite him. Eventually he agreed he will clean up his act – it only happened for September. The annoying part is that he only supports when you make noise. If you keep quiet – he relaxes. I have spoken to him on many occasions & he always claims poverty (I’ve seen his payslip-no poverty there) How do I make this man take me seriously?

Thank you

19 thoughts on “Blessed 43

  1. Leave him, a man will never respect nor tale you serious if you ever forgive and stay after cheating and or any ill treatment. take your chid and leave

  2. Roses

    You lost the plot when you let him make you a forever girlfriend babe. The fact that he only proposed when you gave him an ultimatum should show you just how invested he is in you and your baby. This man seems to only be interested in being a “player” (please note that I use this term very lightly). If you want a man to take you seriously, let him know your worth. Finding out that a man is cheating and using that to basically force him into getting engaged wont make him change into the perfect guy. A cheat will always be a cheat until he decides, by himself, that he is going to change. MY advice to you is stop wasting your time with this boy and move on with your life. Having a baby with someone doesnt mean you should tie yourself to him for the rest of your life. You deserve better and so does your child. Let that boy go.

  3. QnA I can’t help but wonder why you are with this man. He does not deserve you but as long as you behave as though he shots chocolate then you will always beg him. You are young enough to have options but you act as though he is the last man left in the world

  4. Zuma, you are saying exactly what my mother-in-law said. That i spoil him too much. She is against us breaking up – but insists I must be more firm. I am honestly weak & feel like I am fighting a losing battle. How do you walk away from a 13yr old relationship after working so hard (or maybe it was all in my head since he didn’t think twice about cheating)

    1. You stand up, pack your shit, and head in the opposite direction.. the respect in that relationship long left.. you gotta go catch up with it.

      There 2 ways to do this thing.. you either stay and WORK for the rest of your life.. Or you walk away, find your peace, and hopefully someone who is willing to work with you will come into your life. This thing of tying oneself so tightly to someone who has no respect for you mentally destroys my sister. You will end up a shell of your former self if you dont learn to choose yourself over him. Love alone will not sustain your peace in this thing of yalls.. in fact.. A guy friend once told me there is no love in a similar relationship i was in. He called it obsession.. where he felt I could not see past that man, i could not even recognise how unworthy he was of me because I was obsessed with the idea of him being a good man.. which he was not. He wanted to play and lie and cheat. I wanted love, respect and to settle down with the 2.5 kids and white picket fence..

      It doesnt look like you two have the same idea of what and how your relationship should be.. question is.. are you willing to put up with it? There really is nothing wrong with choosing to stay, but you must then learn to accept your person with his extremely short comings.. we accept the love we think we deserve after all…

    2. QnA Who worked hard YOU or HIM? The way I see it you are the one who worked hard to keep him and built your future around him. He did not do that in return? A lot of men are in relationships for the comfort factor not for the love factor. He knows he can sleep around but he has a bed and food on the table when he needs it.

  5. If you have to ASK a man for money for food for his child then he’s not worth it. Leave while you can. The Lobola can be child maintenence.

  6. To be honest I was also thinking the same thing…regarding just leaving despite the number of years we’ve been together. At least I’ll comfort myself and say I got “paid back” lol. True, I did alot of hard work and he just slept around knowing I’m always there to take him back. So much for being blinded by love.

  7. Shame Rose, from what I have seen. You will really struggle with this guy. He cheats and also doesn’t take care of you or his child. This seems to be a reality most women have learned to live with but they deserve better and so do you. But you have to make the choice to walk away. If you are happy with your WORK stay. But I don’t see how you can be. Askies sham and all the best

  8. Thers nothing prayer cant fix…your answeres sre in God. Been there, done that…God saw me through, I am happy n single right now

  9. I doubt very much that Namibian girl was trying to be a smarty pants as you put it! Thank You Namibian girl even thou I don’t even know what a Kandeshi is.

  10. Any alcohol U can drink will somehow make U get drunk. But not all types of alcoholic drinks, beer, wine, brandy, whisky, U name it will be yo favourite. All U do is choose the type of poison that makes U feel value for yo money & taste well for U. But as we go, we might see our friends drinking something different & soon we may change our perceptions on our favourite.
    Same thing with love my dear, if U realise it’s time to let go & move on, do so. Personally I think courtship that goes beyond 5yrs is too much.

  11. Roses, so when you gave him the ultimatum to marry you what were you expecting will happen after the marriage?
    Did you honestly think marriage will change him or you were just too desperate for marriage you didn’t even care at the time to think it through? I’m sorry but i think the latter sounds more about right.
    Why are women so naive though?

    Anyways there is no man who will respect a lady who does what you did when you gave him such an ultimatum. Fact is when someone is caught cheating they will do anything to be forgiven and if you say marry me and ill forget about it trust me they will marry you not because they want to marry you or spend the rest of their lives with you. That was your first mistake but no use crying over spilled milk now.

    I agree fully with what MissPerfect said above, he will change the day he decides to change not because you forced him into marriage, so it’s either you lie in the bed you made yourself by being patient with his cheating until that day he decides to change or you pack your bags and hit the road then go take care of your baby yourself.
    How do you walk out of a 13 year relationship???? oh that’s easy, you just do it.
    Trust me last year i walked out of my marriage and a relationship of 14 years and right now i am the most happiest person alive, i am even angry at myself for not walking out earlier.

    Good luck with your new journey.

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