Blessed 41

Posted on Posted in Blessed are the Blessed

Most friendships are based on lies. I have been dying to say this for so long but it never quite came out right. We

pretend to our friends to stay relevant but the truth is, what you had in common often is not what you desire as you get older. People change and you can wake up one morning and realize that the person you called your best friend ten years ago has become a stranger. That’s most of us girls and that’s why we don’t have our childhood friends anymore. There is nothing like saying ‘above all friendship comes first’ because it’s not true. The moment you say that is the moment that you mess up your life because having someone else’s back means often you compromise your own standards to take care of theirs.

Khanyi had totally judged me. How could she say that? A true friend does not judge! She was there when I started this thing with Sam and now she was basically say I was such a whore and not in the girlfriend kind of way. So this is what she thinks of me and all because she is the one who encouraged me to date him for all the benefits we were both enjoying. I stood there in my room for a good five minutes not knowing whether to shout, scream or just cry at my stupidity.

“I still love you though even though you think so lowly of me! Your dad is my dad just like that psycho I call my father is your psycho father too!”

She said when she walked back into the room. I think the blank look on my face alerted her to the fact that I was not happy with what she had said. I kept quiet.

“What? Are you angry now?”

She asked me and she was right to ask because I was boiling. If it was during the day I would have kicked her disloyal ass out. Again I did not respond.

“O come on though Palesa, if you and I don’t discuss these things together who will discuss it for us then?”

She asked me.

“But how is telling me that I am a home wrecker who is going to get what’s coming to them a discussion?”

I asked her.

“Ok if you put it like that I am sorry, that came out harsh. It was not my finest moment nor was it the point I was trying to put across. I am sorry ok!”

She said.

“What was your point then? I want to hear it because I did not expect you to ever say such to me?”

I asked her. We had to get to the bottom of this otherwise we were not sleeping tonight.

“All I was saying is …”

She stopped; I don’t think she had anything to say.


I asked her aggressively. She had meant what to say and yes it might have come out but the truth often comes out when you least expect it and this is what had just happened.

“This looks bad but I swear it’s not what I meant and you know it. You hurt me by saying that I was after your father. I tried to hurt you back without trying to fully understand you and I am sorry. That really was not my intention!”

You see that was a better apology not the rubbish she had given before. Maybe I should stop being too hard on her and let it go.

“Ok cool then. I am sorry for what I said too but truth be told now that I am doing this thing I am doing, I fully appreciate what it is we young girls do. ITs like we are innocent of all crimes and all the blame can be placed and the men.”

She said. I don’t know how that managed to come out but goodness it sounded so profound. Men are always blamed for being sugar daddies as though the young girls they prey on are dumb and stupid enough to not make up their own decisions.

“True I guess but I want to hear where you are going with this, please continue…”

She said encouraging me. I am not sure if she was genuinely interested in hearing my thoughts or it was just to appease me but I was on a roll now I guess.

“Think of it this way, how many older men have hit on us growing up?”

I asked her.

“A lot!”

She responded but with this pensive look on her face.

“Yes a lot and how many of those did we date?”

I asked her again. I was engaging her in an intellectual debate on dating so she better be paying attention.

“Very few if at all!”

She responded.

“Yes. We were told how mature we were for rejecting their advances. We were told that we made good decisions and that these men where immature to even ask us out. They were the pariahs and blah blah blah!”

I said she laughed.

“What’s blah blah blah, have you run out of points?”

She asked and I laughed and said no.

“My point is why is it the day I, a university student that can stop the country in a #feesmustfall movement said yes I am called a victim! I am super smart that’s why I went into university in the first place yet people make it sound like when he came to ask me out I all of a sudden lost the ability to reason and make a rational decision? It’s like he brainwashed me when I consciously said yes to his advances after having rejected so many! Think about that!”

I told her.

“If this was a movie they would be playing that background music at the this stage because damn this was inspirational.”

I said and we both laughed. Crisis averted we were on the same page again and the friendship was back on track. Somehow it was in that moment that I realized that this was my life and I should live it as I pleased. This thing of constantly seeking approval does not work. My phone was ringing and it was Neo.

“Hey love!”

He said when I picked up.

“How are you?”

“I am good thanks. I thought you were not going to call since you were working!”

I responded.

“I am busy but it’s rather tense. I had these two girls in my cab who were accusing us Uber driver for being rapists and abusive towards them!”

He said. I could hear he was feeling down.

“Why would they do that though out of the blue?”

I asked him.

“You have missed out. There have been incidents of such and one video even went viral!”

He went on to explain what he was talking about and it made me pause, the service all of a sudden sounded so dodgy. Uber for many of us students means peace of mind and reliability but if I could not even go to them freely then indeed I understood where the girls were coming from.

“I am sure the girls were only venting their frustrations out on you, they were not calling you a rapist per se!”

I told him.

“It’s so frustrating though. I am hardworking and decent but now I am being cast under the same shadow as every bad person out there. I need my Uber to make money and if I can’t make this money I am screwed!”

He said. This was the Neo I knew. He was not scared to open up. Most men have a tendency of hiding their fears even if it’s something that is actually harming them. Neo would open up and tell me exactly what was in his heart. That’s why I loved him. He never pretended to be close minded.

“I am sure this will pass baby. Just make sure you are safe when you are driving out there because I don’t want these girls attacking you!”

I told him and he made a half hearted laugh.

“How was your dinner? Did your parents survive it?”

He asked me and again we laughed.

“Well it went perfectly even though dad left rather suddenly without explanation. I am actually going to call him and ask him why he did that!”

I told him. We chatted a few minutes longer then that was that. My mother came to my room.

“Khanyi, would you mind if I slept with Palesa today? You have her every other day and I get her so briefly!”

She was saying as I got off the phone! Ah crap, I didn’t want to sleep with my mom. She kicks in her sleep I kid you not but then again, to her I had tried to commit suicide so there was no way she would be letting her eyes off me. Not today anyway.

“Its fine mma I don’t mind.”

Khanyi said. My mum didn’t even ask me and I don’t think I was going to let her do it in any case. I am mature enough to know why it needed to be done. I was in for a late night talk.

“I thought you were going to refuse to come!”

She said when we finally got into bed.

“Why would I though?”

I asked her.

“I don’t know, you raise your daughters with all the love in the world and you tell yourself that you know them so well but you are always wrong. They grow up and make their own decisions which can leave you so flabbergasted because you thought you raised them better!”

She was saying. My decision to “commit suicide” was what was being questioned here and well, it had to.

“I remember when you were young; you used to love stealing your sisters Nespray. I would get so angry when you stole it and shout at you. Your father would come in and tell you not to make me angry because I loved you very much. He was right, that love I had for you meant that at no point did I ever hit you for it and to this day I love you so much I would never want to hurt you!”

She said. She was lying, she had whopped my ass a couple of times but it was not out of malice but love. Sometimes I thought she was being irrational but truth is I would have done something for her to reach that point.

“I am sorry mom and I love you too. I don’t know why I had such a lapse of judgment and it will never happen again!”

I told her. I found myself crying too because much as I know the truth, I accept I had really hurt the people that I loved, myself included.

******The End********

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

I have been refreshing my page since Friday and there has been no post. Please don’t tell me you have stopped writing because your work is the future! Greetings to all the readers.

I have a problem. I have been sleeping with a colleague from work. I am married two kids and am 36 he is 39. We started having the affair about 9 months ago and now he is falling in love. I tried to break it off and he threatened to tell my husband. If he does I will be ruined, my family will be ruined and even his will be ruined. I don’t know what to do because he is practically blackmailing me for sex and I find I can’t say no because this threat scares me that much. His wife can forgive him for cheating as he has cheated before but much as I believe my husband loves me, he will never forgive me. I don’t want my children growing up knowing that their mom broke up the marriage because she was unfaithful. I love my husband and I know cheating does not send that message to you and your readers but sometimes mistakes really do happen and I made the ultimate one. Please give me advice on how to stop him from sleeping with me as well as exposing my secret.

Thank You


34 thoughts on “Blessed 41

  1. Mistake for 9 months? Lol nah that’s a conscious decision not a mistake. Now that’s it’s coming back to bite you you’re playing the victim? What’s done in the dark will come to light, accept it and confess before he tells a misconstrued version of the story to your husband.

  2. Hi Umtata, this colleague of yours is trouble, how about you set him up, have him on a video clip trying to touch and you just say big “NO I DONT WANT, I DONT LIKE YOU I AM MARRIED” the best place will be at work, then you can have that video as your weapon, send it to your email as a back up then show it to him, this way he will not only be worried about his wife finding out but the HR too, police will also like to know him better at that moment and oh your husband will love you more for that…

    Just do it as a threat though, you were both wrong in the 1st place

    1. totally digging your plan… works both ways Mr 37 Aka SexyDad, lets just hope she does not have any distinct “birthmarks” that are visible only when naked.

  3. Deny affair and report sexuAl harassment get your case together. You were wrong on cheating on your husband but he doesn’t deserve to be hurt by your unfaithfulness. Okanye utyise lonjanana iyeza le tanki.

  4. Lol! yall cheat with some really childish men.. yoh Umtata… goodluck with that nutcase sis’wam. I dont understand why a man would think doing something like that is wise.. tell him your husband will kill him or I really have no clever advice about this, hopefully one of the DOAZG men will give you something better to work with.

  5. But whatever happens.. deny deny deny! even when caught red-handed.. (who came up with that line again? lol).. the sexual harassment route is a good option.. I agree

  6. Thanks Mikeesto, nice one buddy.

    It seems married women are getting their freak on rather often lately, ndcela ubuza though, you’ve been screwing this man for so long a baby couldve been born, yet you claim you love your husband? Awunyi perhaps? Like ngok ubuvula amathanga neh, intliziyou yakho ibisithi ndyamthanda umyeni wam? Kodwa uphana nomnye umntu… Im so disgusted.

    Chances are that man mean knows how weak you are because for him to make such threats he knows it will work, and the truth is, if you wanted to stop this ‘mistake’ then it wouldve happened only once. If at all you valued your family and your kids and your husband then this wouldve never happened, so you have already lost everything, you lost yourself and I believe nothing else matters. You need to tell this man to go fuck himself as in last week, and if he wants to tell your husband so be it. Ngok you are pimpin yourself for no gain at all while this man enjoys another man’s temple… Im so angry right now. A 36year old bethuna, bazobasathini abantwa in their 20’s xa niphambene yimbatyo yobudenge nibadala.


    1. “Awunyi perhaps”?! 😂😂😂

      At Umtata- is it a “mistake” because he’s threatening to call you out? I wonder…
      Anyway, call that nigga up on his bluff, and just stop perpetuating this nonsense. Stop. And if he attempts again, then only can you pursue the harrasment route. In as much as you’re wrong, I can’t imagine sleeping with a man basically under some sought of duress.
      But just stop and wait it out, for the sake of your family one can only hope he doesn’t go ahead with his threat; they don’t deserve this kind of hurt. We make mistakes, but take a stance to stop, wait it out and never do this again.
      Confession? That would be gambling with your marriage, especially since you’ve indicated that he’s likely not to forgive. Your call. Good luck.

    2. Jackzozo, imbatyo yimbatyo mtasekaya qwaba…umdala, umcinci lento ayiyazi tu ke leyo. hahaha.
      Uyandigqiba shame ngaske ndikubone stru!!!!

  7. you cant cry sexual harassment,think about what that will do to his career. He will lose more then you which isnt fair ,coz u both decided to start the affair in the first place. A mistake for 9 months? Hay sisi.

    1. Haibo are you saying his career is more important than her family?! No ways wethu! He can always get employment elsewhere, you can’t replace your family

    2. I have been reading the comments on how sexual harassment is the way to go. Many women are sexually harassed everyday. Using this to protect yourself for a decision you made is disgusting!

  8. Put up a show and tell him you hadsome blood works done and the results came back saying you HIV+ , I ‘m sure after that he will run for the hills far far away from you as most ill informed people are scared of contracting the virus.

    1. Being from umtata, i know if she goes that route, it will be all over town. Amadoda akhoyo anendaba. There’s nothing wrong with being HIV+ but fact of the matter is that the stigma still exists. Which means she runs the chance of her hubby hearing it which will open a whole new can of worms.

  9. I actually thought Palesa was gonna stop all this blessed business since she almost lost Neo. Second chance and still she is not using it. Pathetic

  10. uMtata…
    Why were you cheating to begin with? Yes that’s more important. Chances are you will do it again unless you deal with the source ie. you and not your lover. Your family you lost the day you laid with that man. No use crying over them now.

  11. Umtata stop same way u started. U didn’t need approval to split ya legs u definitely don’t need advises to close them

  12. Myself I will tell my hubby that there is this guy i think “undincwasile emsebenzini”.
    And keep on telling my hubby the nasty things this guy says to my face, and finally tell he said he will come tell hubby if “andincinzeli”
    Maqobokazana masifebeni ngetiming toro.
    Umtata you need to get febing 101. Awuqhekezi ngaphaya kwesithathu emtwini onye ube utshatile. *I’m hiding my face from Jackzorro*

  13. Its amazing how women are crucified for cheating when men do it all the time and they get away with it. Umtata you are a human being you made a mistake I guess its something you will have to live with for the rest of your life. Funny thing though is if this letter was written by a man advises were going to be different and for all we know the husband might be cheating too………………. Anyway you need to break it off with this guy he will not tell your husband if he wanted to he would have told him by now, he is just using you for sex and you are letting him. I hope you have learnt your lesson.

  14. Yo sisi mina i dont understand how u managed to look at ur hubby for 9 months sleeping with him n not feel any guilt of sharing his ‘desert’. Manje u want advice just becoz u are being threatened. Do u truelly lov ur man coz if u did i doubt u wud have managed to do it for 9 months. Imagine if he did dat to u wud u forgive him. Hai ustrong shaaaaaaaame!!!

  15. Yazi I agree with Shirley if this was a man ijudgement ibibgazoba ngaka. Infact advises bezizobaninzi. Mna ndinguwe I would make that video showing him touching me ndingafuni. Send it to my email and show him if he doesn’t stop I’m going to HR and the police. I’m sure uzoyeka or cry HIV uzobaleka shem coz sebonakala uba akanangqondo

  16. Umtata, you have two options . 1 Call the man’s bluff. tell him to go tell your husband everything. Threaten to tell his wife that he raped you and that you will report him to HR if he does. (You will have to sleep screw him 1 last time. Make sure it’s hard and rough. In your office) If he actually goes through with telling your husband, DENY tell your husband that guy tried to shela you and got hectic with time as you kept rejecting you. The last straw was yesterday when he tried to rape you, so you told him you were going to report him to your HR and his 1st line of defence was to try and discredit you to your hubby so that the case you intended to open doesn’t hold. You were too traumatised to even talk about it.
    Option 2 Strike before he does. Collect evidence. Ask him to send you nudes and dick pics. ask on a phone call so that he doesn’t have evidence. Make sure that he sends you dirty texts and advances and you remain cold. Next, make screengrabs and save it on your google photos. Report him to HR, open a case at the police and destroy the stupid shithead.

    What he is doing is equivalent to rape. You both agreed to have this affair and now that you want out uyakunyanzela. I am a mother, and a wife and I always say that I will stop at nothing to protect my happy home. I will have dinner with the devil if that’s what it takes. Kunini safetyelwa ngamadoda? Throw him under the bus and destroy him before he destroys your family my dear.

  17. Danki brada Mike.
    U cudn’t have stressed that point enough of women (not girls) over 18 being taken as victims in the blesser/blessies situationship. Women 21+ are mature adults & agree freely wanting to reap where they did not sow. They are as guilty as the blessers themselves.
    Mr 37, U just took the words out of my mouth about recording him at work while he trys the usual & U give him a NO answer several times. Video is best but even just vocal shud do the trick. Hope U learnt yo mistake that playing soccer at work or near your home can break window glasses.

  18. Okok’qala cc alikho iphutha entweni oqale way’cabanga b4 wayenza n lento futhi wazi kahle if ingavela izoba ihlazo so 4 dat nje asingakhohlisani alikho iphutha ekuthandeni umuntu kona 9month. Ok lendoda ekusabisayo iyahlanya bona if ingenabufakazi bokuthi wake walala nayo mmm ngoba nawe or ingenab’fakazi bokuthi nake nathanda cc’we itshele ukuthi ay’hambe iyofa ungaloku nawe uyhlekela inkinga yenu nani abanye besmame nithi nithi ngapha umuntu anisamfuni kodwa ngapha nilokhu nithokozela ukuncengwa uyena bona tshela lona ukuthi akayotshela indoda yakho mefuna n nawe qala uy’tshele indodadakho ukuthi kunalona onesdina espani iyothi ifika izosho if iyislima ngaleyondlela uyobeke wena usuphika ulale ngomhlane well ngeke ngak’tshelake ukuthi aqanjwa kanjani amanga cos ukewawenza 4 more dan 9month ubophika cc but nje okok’qala mkhiphe ekhukhwini ubenes’qinseko akunalutho olphathekayo analo angalveza ukuthi kunento nake nayenza den umtshele akak’fuseke yajwaleya

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