Y.E.S 52

Posted on Posted in Young Employed and Single

“Just because the person you love is broke and walks does not make him a better man to the one in a car. Morals are not about money but about what’s in a persons heart!” Mike Maphoto

I know my mother means well but she does overstep her boundaries. At my age she cannot ask me who I am sleeping with unless I am the one telling her. She must respect me. My friends always tell me that I am to blame for allowing my mother to constantly emotionally blackmail me like this. She like putting me down and reminding me that ii am a failure because I had no steady relationship and a ring on my finger. The problem is when you are single you are usually seen as a child and your parents see you as the one they can still influence. My sister was married so to a certain extent and in my mothers eyes she “belonged” to her husbands family. She acted like that too because she always did things on his side of the family but I think secretly its because she is avoiding mum. I would too if I could.. To my mother I was a child and even the thought that I had my own place did not seem to matter to her.

“No mum you can’t ask me such a question come on now. Its not correct!”

I reprimanded her.

“I can’t ask you what? I can’t ask you if a man wants to bring lobola to my house? Is that it?”

She said. I could see she was trying to make me feel guilty for asking that. She was good though. This woman, I salute her!

“Yes mum you can’t ask ask me that. I refuse. I won’t answer that question with all due respect. Its wrong!”

I told her standing my ground.

“Well in case you are, that man has a child Lungi? What are you doing? You didn’t get all that education to go be a step mother! Jesus did not die on the cross for my daughter to become someone else’s childs nanny!”

She lectured me. It was annoying but admit it, the last part with the Jesus thing was funny.

“He is a friend and a neighbor! You are the one that always says I must live well with my neighbors so don’t make this a big deal!”

I told trying to make her not raise her voice because with my mother things go hot very quick.

“Well your friendship is not healthy because once you get used to raising another persons child you will not want a child of your own!”

My mother was a piece of work.

“Who said I am raising someone elses child? You met them for two minutes and already you are judging! I am oold enough to associate with whoever I want mum!”

I told her very annoyed but with Africans telling them you are old enough to do something is like slapping them in the face. My mother was no different.

“So you are defying me?”

She asked me.

“Defying you on what mama? There is nothing to deny you on. Mbuso is my neighbor and I live well wwith neighbors as per your advice. He lives with his daughter because his daughters mother passed away. Now you want me to sit here and judge them, no wait, sit here by myself and stare at the TV all day because you are uncomfortable that I have a friend?”

I asked her standing up to her. My mother was a bully and to a certain extent I had allowed it. I had allowed for her to treat me like this.

“That’s not the point. The point is a man with a child is a bad idea. If you ever end up with him don’t bring his child to my house! I want you to have your own and stop playing house with other peoples children!”

She said.

“The pastor is waiting in the car.”

I told her as my way of kicking her out. I could not say to her it was time for her leave directly but she got the picture. She did not have a choice because at that stage I had already walked to the door.

“Yes he is waiting but wena time is not waiting. You need to have a child or children soon otherwise you will regret it later!”

She told me. I did not want to respond because that would mean conversation with her when I wanted her to go.

“Yes mom! And thank you for coming!”

I said to her when we got to the car. She was not done yet with me but because the pastor was there I think she held back. I said bye to the pastor and thanked him for coming. As I walked away I could not help feel anxious about everything that happened to me and to make matters worse a bird shiit on me as it flew past, imagine! Of all the bad luck. I had to go to my place and change.

When I got to his door I took a deep breathe and composed myself. I needed to steel myself because I was feeling a tad bit emotional at this stage. I knocked and Ntheteng sweetly asked from the other side,

“Who is it?l

I wanted to laugh at the sweetness of this child’s voice,

“Its Aunty Lungi!”

I said from my side. It felt weird coming from me.

“Sorry guys I am late!”

I told them as I walked in.

“Its ok, we had not even started eating even though daddy is complaining he is hungry. He is outside on the phone with my aunt, my mothers sister, and they are fighting again!”

She said. This kid spoke too much. I learned this the hard way growing up. I once overhead my mother gossiping very bad things about some lady on our street. She was gossiping with Miriam’s mother obviously. They said the lady was a prostitute and bitching around with peoples husbands. It was not even true funny enough. The following day at school I told my friends about it and one of the friends was friends with that woman’s daughter who was a grade above me. She not only beat me up but went to report me to her mother who confronted my mother and Miriam’s mum and guess what, I got the hiding of my life from my mum. Miriam was not spared either because she was beaten up by her mum for being guilty by association but the truth is I am the one who had opened my mouth on grown up peoples business.

“Ok that’s fine, let us let him finish his conversation in peace. What are you watching in any case?”

I asked her.

“Ricky, Dicky, Nicky and Dawn!”

She responded and I just realized I knew absolutely zero about kids.

“Never heard of them!”

I responded. She seemed disturbed that I had never heard of them. We sat together as I watched the most annoying kid show ever. Goodness we had the Power Rangers in our day and that was cool. I was the Pink Ranger when we played with my friends.

“Sorry about that!”

Mbuso said when he finally came to rescue me. It was perfect timing too because I would have fallen asleep for sure.

“Dad, Aunty Lungi does not know Ricky, Dicky, Nicky and Dawn just imagine!”

Ntheteng said without looking up from the TV. We laughed him and I as he responded,

“She will some day!”

I noticed that with Ntheteng there he was much more free. Its like she brought out the best in him.

“Ok Aunty Lungi, let’s have a pizza moment. We need to warm it up since well, its a bit cool since we came back! Ntheteng would you like to help us?”

He asked his daughter but she was so absorbed by the TV I doubt she heard us.

“That’s what happens when the TV is own, she can’t concentrate on more than it unfortunately.”

He explained. I stood up and escorted him the kitchen. I must say for a man who lived alone he was quite neat. It might sound like a stereotype but its fact, women keep places cleaner and more orderly than men.

“How much pizza do you give her because that’s a lot of cheese?”

I asked him.

“She only has one slice. She does not eat a lot so its a always a war getting her to eat.”

“Ntheteng please pray for us?”

He asked her. You pray over pizza? For me we prayed when we cooked food because fast food doesn’t count.

“Ok. Let me pause the TV!”

The little confident girl said and she burst into song, the prayer was a song I mean,

“Thank you Father, Thank you father, for our food, for our food, ‘any many blessings, ‘any many blessings, A-ha-men, A-ha-men!”

I wanted to laugh because it was so funny and so cute but I could see this was a serious moment, priceless.

“Thank you for that!”

I told her.

“Do you pray at your house before you eat?”

She asked me. The truth is I don’t but if a kid asks you if Santa is real do you say no?

“Yes I do, I don’t do it like you though. I will teach you some day!”

I told her.

“I would like that but don’t make it too long like they do at church because I get bored!”

We ate the pizza full of voice and conversation. This was the Mbuso I had hoped for. He was open and happy.

“My soccer is about to start ladies!”

He finally said. It was almost three and quite hot outside.

“Ah dad come on, soccer is boring. I will give you the remote if you buy me icecream!”

She said blackmailing her father. We both laughed at this.

“I would like some ice cream too how about we go but at Mcdonalds together!”

I asked her and she readily agreed.

“Please dad can we go. Its just five minutes away!”

She said and indeed it was but he seemed reluctant.

“Must I come with you?”

He asked me.

“No stay, we are girls and we can do this right Ntheti!”

I asked her.

“Yes we can!”

She said as she got up.

“We will be fine don’t worry. Must we bring you some ice cream too?”

I asked him. He refused and we left. When we got to Mcdonalds the drive through was packed. Jhb people are lazy ah. You can’t even walk out of your car to walk 50m? No that can’t be right. We parked and we walked in together.

“Oh that girl goes to my school!”

She pointed to some girl who when she saw Ntheteng she immediately ran to her to say hi.

“Come meet my mum!”

Ntheteng said to her.


“Mum, this is my friend from school. See I told you I had a mum she was just out of the country!”

Ntheteng lied but she was so excited as she said that!

“Hi Nthetengs mum!”

The little girl said.

I greeted her back but this was too weird and unnerving for me!

*********The End***********

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Hi Mike

Please hide my ID
I am a 33 year old, fun loving, affectionate lady who knows what it takes to make a relationship work. I have been single for 2 years as I was concentrating on working and my studies.
These days I feel very lonely and is looking for a companion/ partner. – He must be honest, mature, gentleman, respectable and knows how to treat a lady.
I am located in the Western Cape but travel a lot to other regions for work purposes, and a long distance relationship would not be a problem for me.
If there is anyone out there who is single and looking for love please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Miss Independent

53 thoughts on “Y.E.S 52

    1. lol Roses miss Independent is more like every single female in the WC!! If she was 28 I would swear I wrote the letter myself and forgot about it!! Hook us up Mike lol

      1. Say that again Lolly, I also thought someone posted the letter on my behalf. Hahahaha
        Ukushima is real and it sucks.. I feel like Cpt is the capital city of ‘Shimiology’ especially amongst women..

  1. Shame poor Ntheti bathong.. I can imagine how much it sucks for her having to explain what happened to her mom.. Lungi wa batho le yena just stepped right into that one..yhu

    Mike is now running a dating service.. wololo.. haha.. that DOAZG family meet up must now defos happen..lol

  2. Some kids would rather make up a story about the mom being overseas like Nthetheng than to tell them she died. Its so sad yet you understand why in a way. They always say the most judgmental people are church goers, Lungi’s mom is no exception! Yho!

    A Dating service is not a bad idea hey, LOL. Miss independent hope you find your suitor dear and I hope this does not open a channel of mockery because some people really struggle to find someone. awudlali uMzwangedwa bakwethu.

  3. Oh thank you Lord for taking me out of my misery,i thought i was the only one in the shimville,i even thought m sick or something,now its a relief to know there is many more like me,35 and single fir the past idnt know how many years.
    Abuti Mike,here is anoter challenge for you*hook us up😉*

  4. Eish Ntheti just made me shed a tear there, indeed, kids rather make up a story about a parent than telling the truth that they passed away. one child in my street (5 year old) did the exact same thing Ntheti did with me when I took her with to the mall. it’s very sad

  5. Miss Independent you are not alone hey… I’m also looking for someone. I stay in Roodepoort Wilgeheuwel Haaalaaaaaaa

    Oh and I’m 27.

  6. Awu kodwa Jesu yelekelela bo , I feel your pain Ladies but most Guys are in Prison ,some are Gays we are left with a few but lets hope Bra Mike will hook you up with his Reader’s

  7. Eish Ntheteng made me share a tear, just yesterday my daughter who is grade nine was telling me to adopt a boy in her class. The boy got in trouble at school and they called his mom. She told me that the mom said she doesn’t stay with his son he stays with his granny so why do they call her intsead of calling the granny. She says the boy was so devasted when he told them that his parents doesn’t love him that’s why they took him to his grandmother.

  8. Lol lol #hookusup #doazg Mike I’m single too and Durban based. Thank you Miss Independent for opening up the platform 😂

  9. Ntheteng reminds me of a 7yrs old me, my dad passed away when I was 6, I’d also lie about his existence, as a kid u envy those wit both parents hearing all those stories they tell, then they ask where’s ur dad…. Aah 19yrs later can’t believe it still hurts:(:(:(:(:(

  10. Gosh Shima county fleeking!
    I feel sooooo relieved right now you guys don’t understand, im literally the only 1 in my circle who’s been single for the past two going on three yrs , abanye fall in and out of love and im out here Single AF…

  11. Thanks Mikey again for a nice read, Lungi’s mom though, just like my mom, noisy lol. Lungi will make a great mom to Ntheteng, please make it happen I’ll buy you an ice cream. Ahem! eish being single neh is a fashion these days. True love no longer exists Stru hence relationships don’t last and people end up being single. Good luck to all those ladies who are looking, I’m single and not looking Thank you lol. I will suffer loneliness at the age if 60 not now.

  12. Thanks Mikey again for a nice read, Lungi’s mom though, just like my mom, noisy lol. Lungi will make a great mom to Ntheteng, please make it happen I’ll buy you an ice cream. Ahem! eish being single neh is a fashion these days. True love no longer exists Stru hence relationships don’t last and people end up being single. Good luck to all those ladies who are looking, I’m single and not looking Thank you lol. I will suffer loneliness at the age if 60 not now. And by the way I’m 47.

    1. i think the older one gets, the easier it is to be okay with being alone. A lot of my older colleagues dont want to hear ANYTHING about men.. they literally tell me to stay single.. I’m only 25 wethu, i’ve not been hurt and annoyed enough to be okay with being alone..lol

  13. Heartbreaking… Reminds me of how my daughter emphasis dt she dsnt hv a father… How do u respond to that. Shes not even at school.. I understand ntheteng’s pressure

  14. Thanks Mike

    For lonely ladies around Pta I can only offer company for a night I’m even willing to spread myself. Mike help them but no strings lol, this is what I give to our community cause sharing is caring

  15. Wishing U gudluck sesi wam.
    Mrena quoted Oskido that “Life iskorokoro”
    Men but especially women, when U need a shag, it’s like guys since it that UR desperate & U they deny U.
    When UR single & looking they don’t shela U. But when UR happily in a steady relationship or married, every Thabo & Sipho want yo number to meet & shag.
    Ome more thing that worries me with women empowerment, one will have fake everything, hair, nails, eyebrows, perfume, jeans, bags, shoes U name it. Come to man, he needs a “perfect” original guy. Men don’t come “standard”. Most polished rich guys are already taken unfortunately & it’s up to U to find a rough diamond & try working around it. Of course he must bring something on the table.
    Standards shud be there, don’t n’t settle for less but. BUT, don’t throw away (judge) every guy before UC what they bring.
    From a men’s point of view, some decent guys actually disguise to be not so rich or flushy to screen women. Not all that glitters is gold or diamond for that matter

    1. Aowa another Friendzone just like that Sandile.. Hhahahhaha… Sikhathele ama friendzone, we have enough friends, sidinga ama proper relationships now.

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