It is a universally acknowelged fact that that fathers don’t like their daughters boyfriends. I have always wonder what comes to his mind when he sees him for the first time. Does he imagine him fucking me because if he imagined us just holding hands surely he would not be angry? Think back to your childhood if you ever got a beating, or threats from your parents for having a boyfriend? I know friends who got a beating for such things. When is a girl allowed to date and it be normal to the parents? With my dad I am not sure if this was ever allowed but girls will be girls and boys will be boys. They had never met because well, where, why, how? My father was semi modern, I am sure he would have been cordial but I am not sure he would have been hospitable even under better circumstances. To him I was a little girl and must remain one. He would probably give me the ‘finish your school’ or ‘concentrate on your books’ speech after the introduction. Today however, the circumstances were different!
“You little rat! How dare you come here? Have you not done enough?”
He asked Neo who looked too traumatized to even move! I knew what he was talking about and I think Neo got an idea of what he was being accused of but did not say anything to fight back. Instead his response was,
“I am sorry sir!”
Neo apologized but that incensed my father even more.
“You have some nerve you little fuck! You think sorry is going to mend my girls heart. You almost destroyed her!”
In all my years I had never heard my father curse. Its a very odd feeling to hear someone say ‘fuck’. My father was not known for his temper, that was my mum realm meaning that he must have been really pissed off and with good reason. I had just fixed things Neo I did not want him scaring him away.
“Dad stop it!”
“Stop it! Its not his fault. Its mine! Leave him alone!”
Goodness I sounded like a white kid right there. I was scared he was going to throttle him again. To his credit Neo did not fight back, probably out of respect. He just stood in a defensive position ready to either run or block.
“Sir, its not what you are thinking but I will take the blame!”
He said in a none menacing tone. He was taking the blame for something I did.
“Neo, please just go. I will call you later!”
I told him. He walked out looking rather defeated. Now it was just me and my father. He looked at me with a very confused look on his face. He then walked to the bed and said
“You almost died because of him. How do you expect me to feel seeing him standing there like nothing happened?”
Its human nature to blame others for our shortcoming. My dad was one of those parents who if you failed would blame your friends. It was never his child that failed, it was always someone else that led to it. In a way it was sweet that he put us on such a high pedastool but realistically it meant there are some lessons we never learn.
“What do you think happened dad?”
I asked him.
“I don’t know, he cheated on you. You should never ever give a man who cheats on you a second chance!”
He said sitting next to the bed.
“You should never. The moment you do that you allow the snake back in!”
That hit home. If only he knew I was the snake he was talking about. I would have corrected him right there and then but I did not. He would now have something new to feel guilty about and that would be unfair.
“You are my first born daughter. I love you very much. When I thought I had lost you…”
He said then he stopped. He was crying.
“I am fine dad. Its not what you think happened. I was exhausted and took more pills than I should have. I made a mistake and that’s it. I would never be that selfsih to try and take my own life. I am really sorry!”
I said which was my form of reassurance to him.
“Can we change subjects now. This is now uncomfortable!”
He said. I could see his discomfort. Why is it men don’t like sharing their feelings? That nurse who had come to see the shoes when Khanyi walked in earlier came back.
“Good evening guys!”
Time flies hey.
“Hi, you are back!”
I said to her.
“I am. I have some bad news. The doctor who was supposed to see you had a bit of an emergency so he will see you tomorrow. The good news is you are most likely being discharged tomorrow as well so fingers crossed!”
“This is my dad by the way!”
I said to her as I had not introduced them.
“Yes we met earlier and yesterday. Good evening sir!”
She said to me. I had said that because I did not want her to assume that he was the one who had bought the shoes. She was young this nurse and actually pretty.
“How are you?”
My father responded.
“Are there no complications with her?”
He asked her.
“I am glad there are none but doctor will explain better. She is good to go but its the doctor that must sign off on that.”
I smiled at that until she said,
“The pysch ward is the last person anyone wants to be so I will make sure you go home to normal people!”
She meant well but she made me feel like me ending up hear was because I was crazy. She did not stay long and she left. I think she was doing rounds am not sure.
I thought Khanyi had left be she had not. I saw her standing at the door. That’s what best friends do, they are sick with you at that moment.
“Where have you been?”
I asked her. My father looked confused at the question obviously as it could not have been addressed to him.
He asked and I laughed then he turned around.
“I am asking her.”
Khanyi walked in and my dad just stared at her.
He said with a smile.
“Dad Khanyi, Khanyi my father!”
I said by way of introduction. I have never described Khanyi before. She was slightly taller than me and ‘almost” thick bodied. I say almost because she was a size 32 sometimes 34, with a fair amount of booty. She often dressed to compliment her body which meant that she got her fair share of attention from guys. Today she was wearing leggings, a tank top with a jacket on top. This was normal student wear in a student area so it was pretty normal to me. However if I were to put her in that outfit in a more conservative part of time one could say she was looking hella sexy.
“Oh you the young lady I spoke to from KZN?”
My father said standing up to greet her. He stretched out his hand but Khanyi being Khanyi, very inappropriate said,
“You like my dad too so I am going to hug you. I have heard so much about you!”
She said and hugged my father. It was not a skanky hug or anything.
“Its a pleasure to finally meet. Your daughter here is the most amazing person in the world and I love her to death!”
Khanyi said to him when they had separated.
“Thank you for taking care of her. Its always important to have good friends around you!”
My father said in his fatherly tone. I noticed his voice had become deeper and more authoritative in that moment.
“Let me give you guys some time. I will be sitting outside.”
“You don’t have to leave on my account you can join us if you want?”
My father offered by Khanyi insited.
“Its cool I have calls to make in any case. I need to get some notes sent to me!”
She said and she walked outt. My father did not really look at her as she walked out he focused on me.
“It took you getting sick for us to meet your friends!”
He said and I laughed.
“Mum has met her, you must come home!”
I told him as a joke. It was so nice having him here. My father was not the type to judge you or kick you when you were done. He was a much happier person since he left my mom. A lot of people believe that in marriage men are often the problem and bring misery to their wives. Its not always the truth but it is women who are more expressive of this element. If you listened to my mums rhetoric or what she told people, my father was a royal dick, useless, selfish, stingy etc when the truth was my mother simply could not keep her legs closed. My father had become a victim in his own house where my mother could sometimes even sleep out and lie about work conferences just to go out with whoever. The day my father left, my mother cried as though he had betrayed her but my father had had to wait for two days, a weekend to leave because my mother had not been there to remain with us. She had gone to Mpumalanga with someone! Looking at him then, he was the sweetest man and I loved him.
“I am going to have to go now. I must cook. You know me and takeout food I can’t stand it!”
He said jokingly.
“Must I hook you up with one of these hot nurses dad?”
I asked him and he laughed.
“She has to be as beautiful as me neh? I am going to gym now so she must compliment me!”
He said jokingly. He looked at me one more time and said,
“Please never scare me like that again, ever!”
He kissed me on the forehead, that’s new! My father never kisses me anywhere. Being single must mean he is watching a lot of TV. He walked out and left me smiling. Khanyi walked in immediately.
“Why didn’t you tell me your dad is hot?”
She said laughing. She sat down without thinking about what she had just said.
“He is my dad. How can my dad be hot?”
I asked her.
“Same way Sam is hot. He is someones father you know!”
She said looking at me raising her eyebrows as though it was a matter of fact.
What was she own about?
“Boundaries friend, boundaries!”
I warned her then we both burst out laughing. It was funny actually, someone actully thinking my father is hot!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for reading my letter.
I have problems at home. My mother and sister have been fighting for the last couple of months. Ever since my father died, my sister has been accusing my mother of not loving her enough. She is 30 years old, has been living at home, has two kids from different men and my mother has always supported her. She was disappointed in her but I think any parent would under these circumstances but she never treated her differently. Now my sister has convinced herself that my mother is the problem. I am 24 by the way. The feud is starting to affect everyone and my mother is always crying. Its tense in the house. I am the next eldest, what can I do to fix things between the two of them? Personally I would like my sister to move out as she has always been disruptive but its not my place to bring that up. What can I do?