Blessed 33

Posted on Posted in Blessed are the Blessed

When I woke I was feeling groggy. I was in the hospital but someone was there I did not expect. It was Neo!

“What… What are you doing here?”

I asked him. My mind was a bit muddled up but the memories were coming back slowly. I didn’t feel sleepy or anything like that. I was perfectly fine.

“Welcome back. I been waiting for you to wake up and the doctor was spot on!”

He said looking at his watch.

“Can I explain what happened?”

I told him but he put a finger on my lips and said,

“With me you never have to explain anything in fact I have something I would like to ask you!”

He said. Was he about to dump me again? He moved back and in front of my eyes he went down on one knee,

“Will you marry me?”

He asked me. I was confused. Yesterday we were fighting and here he was asking me to marry him.

“But you are angry at me Neo? How do you marry me out of anger?”

I asked him and he laughed.

“I am not marrying you out of anger but of love. I have always said I loved you from the first day we met and I still love you today?”

He said.

“But baby it’s not that I don’t want to but will you ever be able to forgive me?”

I asked him.

“I have already forgiven you. You know I can’t stay mad at you for a long time so here we are. I am serious I want you to marry me!”

I felt like someone was pulling a prank on me. Well they had to be. If I married him that meant I will have to get rid of Sam and well, that worked for me.

“Yes baby I will marry you but we have no money nothing!”

I reminded him. Girls are often guilty of thinking with their hearts forgetting that the moment their stomachs get hungry they find fault in their partners. I wanted more for us as a couple. I was an engaged woman now, someone’s fiancée!

“I want us to get married today because I don’t want you to change your mind. I know you too well!”

Ok now he was just being absurd. There was no way we could plan a wedding in a day. I had so many people to invite.

“That won’t work baby. I need a dress. Remember that dress we saw on instagram, the one with the pearls. We will have to save for it just before we get it. I told you that’s my perfect dress and that’s what I want on my big day!”

I reminded him. I don’t if I was saying that as an excuse to avoid the hastiness or what but I said it anyway.

“Oh yes I remembered it. Do you mean this dress?”

He asked me pulling it from under the bed. What the fuck? I screamed in excitement and he just loved. Neo knew me so well. I had always wanted this dress. If you have dated a man for more than a year and never once thought about what your wedding would look like then you are wasting your time. Get up and leave! After a year it stops being just dating as clearly you building a future together.

“How did you… I mean … When did you do this? I am so happy Neo I don’t even know what to say?”

I was openly crying now.

“Baby don’t cry. Once we are married I never ever want to see a tear on your face. You know that Bruno Mars song, I can’t remember the name now but it goes like ‘So when I face, there is not a thing I will not do, coz amazing – mazing just the way you are!'”

He said singing it for me. If anything my boyfriend was the worst singer on the planet. He was beyond bad but when he sang at that moment funny as it was, it felt as though this was the great singer alive. He was my own Bruno Mars.

“That was so sweet!”

I told him and he laughed.

“I have to tell my mum though and my little sister. Goodness I can’t have a wedding without my mum she will disown me that’s a guarantee. The problem is she is angry at me so she might not approve!”

I told him. Fuck then there was my dad! How was he going to take it?

“Love you are worrying too much. Your mother is sorted. Before I asked you, I asked both your mom and dad for your hand in marriage. Your dad is scary though wow, that’s the last time ever I speak to him one on one. I swear I thought he would beat me up but he said he was proud of how I had done it and gave his blessing. They are both at the venue waiting for us!”

He explained. I was so confused. My mother knew of my pending nuptials and didn’t tell me. I am all for surprises but a surprise wedding is a bit much.

“I am just happy you came back for me and I am so sorry for hurting you baby!”

I told him and he smile. How come I had not noticed that he was wearing a tuxedo! Wow he looked dashing and when he smiled he dimples so that just made him look even hotter!

“Its ok but you really need to dress up hey because we have to go. Your bridesmaids are coming now to help you prepare!”

He said.

“My bridesmaids?”

I asked him.

“Yes! Every bride is a queen and she needs her handmaidens!”

He said and he clapped his hands and enters Khanyi, Boitumelo, his sister Lebogang and his cousin whose name I always forget. I will have to ask him in private but I had met her few times only that there was nothing memorable about her. They all rushed in and hugged me congratulating me.

“Girl you didn’t even see this one coming did you?”

Khanyi said as I saw Neo back out of the room.

“How did you hide it though? Khanyi I am so happy. It’s like the best thing I have ever achieved!”

I told her. My little sister stepped up,

“I know I was harsh on you earlier but it’s because all I want is the best for you. You are my big sister and I look up to you. I am too young for marriage and statistically if I marry at my age chances of me getting my degrees in record time vanish!”

She said and we all laughed.

“You need to get ready makoti!”

His sister said and I got out of bed. Eish I was ashamed to still be in the hospital clothes. The shame came from everyone knew what I what I had done. They thought I had tried to commit suicide and I don’t think that’s true. When I took the pills I was tired. I was exhausted. It was not me trying to take my life. I loved Neo but I think my life meant more. Maybe I should tell them the truth but nah, it will spoil their happiness.

“We need to get you bathed and dressed! The cars are already outside so we are going to have to do a rush job ok!”

Khanyi told me. I went and I showered. I could hear them talking and laughing. They were genuinely happy for me. I took 30 minutes to bath and I was out. Khanyi was on makeup whilst the other girls dressed me. When I was done I looked in the mirror for the first time.

“What do you think?”

Khanyi asked me. I was absolutely stunned. I had gone to shower a girl but the girl looking back at me in that mirror was a beautiful young woman!

“Oh my God friend, I look stunning!”

I told her. I was about to cry when she said,

“No don’t you dare cry and mess up my makeup!”

She said.

Lebo cut in and said,

“We have to go guys!”

Yes it was late I am sure. I didn’t have my phone so I didn’t know what the time was. The driver to the venue was a blur because I just wanted to see my man! From where we were it wasn’t far. When we got to the church I noticed that the reception would be in the church garden as the marquee was already setup. It being a shotgun wedding I didn’t mind. There were women outside who were singing tradition Tswana songs for me. I remember distinctly,

“O Makoti o mo botse soh, o no mmeile kae? O no mmeile kae? Gale sela! Gale sela wena!”

I love that song. It basically asks the groom “that beautiful bride where were you hiding her?” I even wanted to sing because that beautiful bride was me! That’s when I saw my mum and she came to me and hugged me.

“You have made me so proud baby girl!”

She said. My father was standing next to her! He banna? How is that possible? Those two hate each other.

“I am the father of the bride; I get the honour of walking you in!”

He said and he laughed. He held me by the arm and the wedding was starting. Neo was standing with his back to me at the altar and when the wedding music started he turned around to look at me as I entered. We walked slowly to the alter and my father handed me over to him! I turned to look at him.

“Neo, do you take this whore, this gold digger, this old man lover, this uncouth sfebe, can’t keep her legs shut, gets paid to sleep with old married men for money girl to be your wife, risking sickness and your health till death do you part!”

What the hell? I knew that voice. I turned to look at the pastor and for the first time I recognized him. It was Sam! Sam was the pastor! I looked back at the congregation and some were laughing whilst other were calling me names.

“Palesa! Palesa!”

A voice said to me but it was so far away.


The voice screamed!

“God what have you done! Palesa! Help!”

It sounded like …it sounded like my roommate!

“Help me, someone help me!”

She screamed again. I heard doors opening and more voices!

“Call an ambulance!”

“Go get the matron! Hurry up!”

Someone else said.

The wedding, I had been dreaming. It had all been a dream. I felt so weak though. I couldn’t even breathe properly.

“Hurry up guys she is dying! Her pulse is so weak!”

Someone said


********The End**********


Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike and readers

Im a lady in my 20s. I have a problem,please help me. I have tried to
lose my virginity from the age of 21 and 6 years later Im still
trying. Something happens,i dont know what. its like i freeze and
muscles get tighter, it doesnt matter how further apart my legs
are,theres a wall nje that cant be shaken.relationships dont last and
my heart wont stop loving,Its humiliating having to explain to a guy
that we can mess around but just know you gonna cum without even
penetrating me. google calls my condition vaginismus and that i need
the dilators kit to stretch my muscles. I consulted one of the best
gynaes in pretoria and she didnt understand my condition,we did a pap
smear that took forever because the instrument would not go in. I then
went to my GP and told him my problem,he referred me to isonto
lamapostola. I prayed and drank the holy water,still no change..kodwa
manje I feel like I want to know what exactly is going on with me,for
months now i’ve been thinking of visiting isangoma but my dad has
found Jesus. My mom is a ignore the problem until it goes away type of
person. so what must I do now? visit isangoma by myself,I’ve never
been to one.ngiyesaba thats why I have been putting it off. please
help me,is this problem even normal?


17 thoughts on “Blessed 33

  1. Hi Troubled I suffered from the same thing. My obgyn suggested that I buy lube and practise with my fingers or tampons… the smallest tampon. Apply lube in everything even the tampons. I went through counselling and met a nice man. It is vagunismus and I couldn’t even have a pep smear that’s how bad it was. When you do get into a relationship use lots of lube but first practise on yourself with fingers and tampons.

  2. Awwwww Mike thou such talent vakahina. for the first time in my life i actually in-visioned myself getting married/ my wedding due to such a beautifully written piece.
    @ Troubled yah neh i even had to google this condition first time ever i hear of it hope u get the help u need

  3. Thanks Mikeesto, I knew it was a dream 🙂 Nice one buddy.

    Troubled, I don’t want to say nice life problems coz girl your desperation and struggle is real. So many women claim they would take back their virginities in a heartbeat or at least do it with the right partner… Here you are poor soul, struggling to break the chains for you to get sexual emancipation. If you do go the Sangoma route, make sure it’s a female coz some of these bone throwing dudes have bad intentions and they tend to take advantage of people, especially those oblivious to their world like you.

    Take a family member or friend with and make sure they don’t leave you there no matter what. If that don’t help, you need to also come to the conclusion that God may have a higher purpose for you, which will require your purity to be intact… Or he is pulling a major prank on you 🙂

    It is possible that someone might’ve cast a spell on you too, so leave no stone unturned in discovering this remarkable phenomenon… If only it could spread to many others… HIV would be solved to some degree. Best of luck ke sisiza.


  4. Hello it is vaginismus, get the book and dilators from it helps trust me. Oh and your gynea is shit, get a new one and gp. My gynea was kind and understanding and expkained the problem to me. She shouldnt make you feel helpless and stupid. Good luck.

  5. Dear troubled you do not need a sangoma or a healer. Your condition is both psychological and physical if you get what I mean. A sex therapist will help you dear because they will use an all inclusive approach (holistic). Find one closest to you and attend sessions. This is a condition that some women have and the good news is that it is “curable” or can be “reversed”.

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