Blessed 32

Posted on Posted in Blessed are the Blessed

Before you think Neo is weak never forget this, “Tears aren’t a woman’s only weapon. The best one’s between your legs. Learn how to use it!” Who said that? I bet you many people are thinking of all the sexist pricks that could have said that but that was Cersei Lannister in Game of Thrones. How many great men have risen and fallen at the hands of a woman? Even in the bible, it was not a snake that made Adam betray God it was the love for his woman. I dare you to tell me I am wrong. Sex is a tool that has confused men for a very long time. You can control what they do, how they do it and when they do it if you know how to use it right. Unfortunately I don’t but I knew Neo, I knew where to touch and how to make him happy for lack of a better word. A lot of women know how to make a guy squirm but to them its love making as opposed to obedience making.

“Baby you look good but I don’t think now is the right time!”

He said without taking his eyes off me.

“Shhhhh baby, I am the one in control here! You and I have not done this in a long time and it’s what makes us drift always!”

I told me in a low begging voice that was not a whisper!

“I know but how about we do it a few days from after we have fixed things between us!”

He asked and I moved closer to him and held his face by the chin and proceed to kiss him. He did not pull back, he kissed back but when he did not touch me back I put his hands on my ass and squeezed them!

“Oh baby…”

He moaned,

“Yes daddy take your naughty girl!”

I said talking dirty. I won’t lie I wanted to laugh. Talking dirty is funny and I think that’s why most girls don’t do it, girls I know in any case. We think we are above it and it makes us look cheap but in all honesty it’s stimulating and plays mind games with your partner. Is disempowering yes but making yourself vulnerable to your partner yet making them powerless to your whispers is priceless any day. It also turns yourself own and too.

“Today I tie you down, and if we have a second round you get to tie me down and do whatever you want to me ok?”

I told him.

“You really going all out neh even though I said no?”

He asked me.

“Yes I am going all out.”

I playfully pushed him roughly on to the bed and as if opportunity was just lying there he had his ties on the couch. I tied his hands on the head board and took off his track pants.

“That’s a bit aggressive love, what new technique is this? You into bondage now!”

He asked but he was teasing.

“I am trying something new. You always say that our sex is the same and monotonous so today I am going to show that I have been watching porn like you advised!”

I said and we both laughed. Shit! This was killing the momentum but hearing him laugh more than made up for it. I was getting somewhere be it slowly.

“I am going to gag you ok. Don’t scream now like a little girl. I don’t want you to touch me and I do not want you to say anything anymore, you killing mood.”

I told him. I didn’t really gag him I instead just blind folded him. I think gagging is a bit extreme and normal people don’t do it to each other.

“Maybe because you are seeing too much that’s why you are thinking too much!”

I told as I blind folded him. He looked very confused by this “new me” but I think it intrigued him to see where I was going with this.

“Well it’s because I really don’t want us to do this. I would rather we talk and try to fix us before we can get to this!”

I laughed him off as I pulled his pants down. I know men and blowjobs so I gave him one.

“Where are your condoms?”

I asked him. He didn’t have any but because I was on contraceptives I didn’t mind. Everyone else I had slept with, Sam that is, I had only ever used a condom. I had never not used one so I knew I was safe. Neo and I had been tested a few times together so this was the ultimate test.

“Do I need condoms?”

He asked.

“No, you don’t. I have been faithful and I will never put you or me in harm’s way for that matter.”

I responded. It was a lie and because I had used condoms with Sam always it didn’t feel like it was not. I was wet already so I went on top of him. I really hate this position. I like him to be in control and hold me down. Only side chicks go on top and if you a girlfriend or wife you shouldn’t have to do this much work! It’s not natural.

It took him forever to climax and I think it’s because not only was I awkward on top, he was not used to doing this ‘upside down’ like he called it. He had a helluva good time though because he was panting and encouraging me whilst at it. I was flippen exhausted and my thighs hurt at the end of it all. It just goes to show that being skinny or small is not a substitute for not going to gym. I was so unfit. When I was done I rolled over and started panting on the one side.

“Uhm, time to untie me now!”

He said as he helplessly lay there. Crap, because I was exhausted it took effort to do that but I did.

“I am happier now!”

I told him lying down again.

“Thanks for that but I really don’t think it was necessary for us. I would have listened to you just as well without it.”

He said after that super awesome session even by our standards. Why was he acting like he didn’t enjoy it?

“Don’t you like role playing?”

I asked him.

“Of course I do. I think everyone who has ever experienced it does but when the mood and time is right. We have problems right now and they are not solved overnight by a quick roll in the sack!”

He said and I got so annoyed.

“So you call us making love a quick roll in the sack seriously!”

I get that he was angry at me but I had also put so much effort into this moment so he must not cheapen it.

“No I am not saying that but us making love does not mean anything unless we fix us!”

He said again.

“Neo, it’s why I am here. It’s why I am not going anywhere today no matter what!”

I reminded him. I was scared if I left I won’t be able to come back in.

“You know you still have school right and so do I?”

He asked with a wry smile on his face.

“Don’t remind me. I even have an assignment but guess what, I brought it here.”

My phone rang. It was my mother. I showed him the caller and I ignored it.

“This is just a fight waiting to happen!”

I told him. She called again and I ignored.

“Shouldn’t you get that?”

He asked me.

“Uhm no!”

She was relentless. She called again. Really for me it does not rain but it pours. I had forgotten about her. She had been angry that I went to the funeral and my mother is not those moms that cool down after a few days. She is far from that. She gets angrier with time and there is no calming her down unless she is satisfied. She must get her pound of flesh first.

“Pick it up!”

Neo said.

“You know she is angry already that I went to the funeral so that will just be suicide for me!”

I told him.

“That’s the third missed call she has left and you know she won’t stop calling until she gets you. Rather deal with her now as long as prolonging your misery for later!”

He advised. It was not good advice as far as I was concerned because I know my mother pretty well.

“Where are you?”

She asked angry already! What was she angry at though?

“I am back at school?”

“Good! I am at your res right now! Come here right now! I am going to teach you to defy me!”

She continued angrily.

Teach me what?

“I can’t come! I have a test soon so I am studying!”

I lied. My mother could embarrass me and now that she was angry I would rather meet my punishment at home, privately.

“You think you can run away from me forever akere! You will need pocket money soon, o tla bona!”

She said and hung up!

“What was the conclusion?”

Neo asked me?

“I should not have picked up the phone that’s what!”

I told him because deep down I was panicking.

*************The End**********************

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Readers

Today’s chapter was written with the below letter in mind. After your read the letter please answer the question, did Palesa rape Neo because he said NO several times and she insisted?

Thank You


Bra Mike

Thank you for the platform.

I am in trouble and could go to jail. I am a male aged 22 and am in my final year. I have been hitting on this girl for about 2 months and she is 20 and a second year. I am single and so is she. Things went well; we started kissing and all but no sex. We arranged a trip together of which I told her we would have one room (explicitly it was not implied) and she agreed. She even took the room voucher to show her friends and tell all supported her. Two weekends ago I booked us into a Sun City hotel (my mother works there hence the vouchers). We had wine by the Valley, did all things Sun City and went back to our room. We started kissing and when I tried to go further she said NO it was too soon. I tried to convince her and her NO stayed NO. I respected her decision and was not aggressive at all. I could see she was uncomfortable now so I told her I would sleep on the couch and she can lock the door behind her if she was still feeling unsafe. I was still very horny but I respected her. Around 2 in the morning she came to the couch and said she was being a baby about it and she was sorry and she initiated the sex. It was great sex; we cuddled afterwards even and slept on the couch. I only had a one night voucher so we left the next day late afternoon. When we got back to Pretoria (TUT) she went cold. For days I begged her to tell me what was wrong until she sent a message telling me never to contact her again because I raped her. Obviously I panicked. I looked for her until I found her. She was with her friends and I was with a female classmate friend as well. She retold the very same story I just said here to everyone who was there. Her friends argued that because of the wine (which we both drank me probably more than her) and the fact that I had taken her out of town (with her consent) she had been too scared to not give me sex for fear I would leave her there in Sun City and she won’t have transport home nor could she ask from her parents. To them she was forced to give it to me to be able to go back to campus or back to safety. Even when she said no I had made no threat or acted aggressive (she confirmed this too). Imagine how stunned I was when even my friend (classmate) said yes I had raped her. When I defended myself with the facts which she confirmed (as the above) my friend told me I was being typical arrogant male and not taking responsibility for my actions and should humble myself and accept the blame. Accepting the blame would be saying I raped this girl which is far from the truth. I have gone through what happened so many times to the point of writing them down so that I don’t forget a thing and I still don’t see what I did wrong. Did I rape this girl? She said NO and I left her alone. She came to me hours later and we had sex and were romantic the rest of the day before we left. I made no threats to her, did not imply anything that could be threatening either but am I a rapist?

Help me please I am starting to doubt myself even with the facts right in front of me.

Thank You


61 thoughts on “Blessed 32

  1. I am someone who works with such cases of rape and abuse. She felt she was coerced to have sex like she said, however if you didnt say anything manipulative or pressurized her in any way, I wouldnt be worried. We are living in a world where girls are told and expected to have transactional sex so if a guy spoils you there is internal and external pressure to “give it up.” You were a gentleman to sleep on the couch who sought her consent and respected boundaries when consent was not given. you sound like a good guy and if your communication was open from the planning phase and everything and you have the receipts to back it up, you will be fine. I think next time considering she is not your girlfriend, go Dutch and have her pay certain things so that she doesnt go all the way to Rustenburg with a guy she doesnt fully trust and has some sort of independence and can pay for her own room etc. insist that your dates have their own budget, it may not sound romantic but if there is shared power in the date, either one of you can walk away. What if you had lost your wallet and your partner only has her sneakers and hair ties?if your account of events are accurate and you didnt make yourself look good, you should be fine.

  2. Accused I feel like you didn’t rape the girl because you did not force her to have sex with you.
    1. Yes you guys had some wine but you didn’t take advantage of her because she was drunk.
    2. She came to you after you let her go and she initiated the sex
    3. How can she say she was scared that you wouldn’t take her back home when you didn’t act aggressive or threaten her?
    Sometimes females falsely accuse a guy because they regret having sex with a guy, yes rape is a serious issue in our country but some women take advantage of this and start throwing around fake accusations and that’s not right because she can take so much from you including your life by sending you to jail on charges of a crime you didn’t commit. I keep saying guys need to stop having sex with any and every girl just because you’re horny and you need a release, some girls will do exactly what this girl did to you just because they regret it. Be careful of who you have sex with guys!

  3. Naaa dts not rape, Neo would have kicked his legs up n down n side ways since he was tied to show he means no. With us ladies we even scream our lungs out. But if NO but u comply moan feel nice then ur NO means YES. So shortly im saying Palesa did not rape her n Suncity guy did not rape the lady

    1. HEY?! excuse me??? “but if no but u comply moan feel nice then your no means yes”???? I am sorry but what world do you live in??? Are you aware that it is possible to climax (orgasm) even when you are being raped? does that mean you wanted it and enjoyed it? yoh yoh yoh! Your statement just gave me chills.. I’m so scared of you.. LORD!

    2. Are you serious? When does nNO ever mean YES? In what planet? Your analogy of the situation is terrible!! Do you know how many wives and girlfriends are raped by their parteners because of your reasoning? Just because my partner makes me horny and even come does not mean that I wanted to have sex with them! NO ALWAYS MEANS NO!! No matter what

        1. Belara…there is a thin line between seduction and manipulation…she MANIPULATED him …NOT seduced….Read this chapter again please!!!!

          Haibo…siphi na apha???? I am sooo appallled…..

  4. Hi

    Ask for a meeting with her and a friend, make sure you have a witness. Record both your statements and consult a lawyer.
    Some girls can be very vindictive. if what you are saying is indeed true and it was consensual then you have nothing to worry about.

  5. QnA it’s not as simple as the above put it. If she felt as though she had no choice but to do it because she was stranded then yes it was rape. 1. He had all the power because by the sounds of it he had the car and the room 2. She drank and even if he did it means she had demeaned capacity 3. She said no several times and he still insisted even though he failed eventually 4. She had no way of getting home. He took her to a place foreign to her, she was entirely dependant on him. Its easy to see why a reasonable man would have realized that she might not go home with him if she rejected 5. He is using the Zuma/Malema argument that after the rape she stayed the whole day as though nothing had happened but remember she still was not at a place of safety so she had to grin it bare it.

    1. 1. She also had the power to use the key (lock herself) in the room.
      2.No one forced her to drink the wine .
      3.She said no several times and he left her alone , she then decided to go wake the guy and get some (her own choice).
      4.She was not entirely dependent on him.. are you trying to say she had no cent with her? even on her bank account?.. she could have called friends to borrow money for transport, notify them ku she’s stranded or came up with a transport plan.
      5.She’s just regretting giving it to him.
      He did not rape her.

      1. I totally agree with you lonenee.. He didnt threaten to leave her there why did she feel stranded??? He didnt force himself on her…why is she again feeling raped???

        I think iProblem apha is her feelings more than the actual situation at hand….

      2. Agree with you 2 ladies.
        To add to that, the problem is also that the woman is mostly victim and the man perpetrator by virtue of being, so we are mostly inclined to look at how she could have felt victimized even though the actual threat didn’t exist.
        1. He might have had the power because he had the means to get them there, but she chose to give away her power when she willingly went with him to this remote place without any means of fending for herself should she be put in an uncompromising situation.
        2. Both of them were drinking so how can one’s demeaned capacity overrule the other? Is that not unfair though? Because she’s a woman right so she can argue that but he can’t right?
        3. Fair enough, she said No and he tried to convince otherwise, but at the end of that she was left in the same position because her wish was granted. Does the fact that he asked more than once now constitute pressure? Was it right for her to assume that because she said No to him then he would leave her? Was he actually obligated to take her back from res? Shouldn’t everyone be responsible for their wellbeing?
        4. Who’s fault is it that she had no way of getting back home? He did not kidnap her, she willingly went with him there, she was aware of her situation and still chose to take that risk. Why must he then be punished for her risks which led her to start feeling pressured? That’s on her not on him.
        5. I don’t think he’s using it as an excuse but as validation of his version of events.
        Nna honestly I don’t think this was rape, mainly based on the fact that she put herself in a situation that led her to assume that if she didn’t give it up then he would leave her. She still had the choice to then find her way back to wherever, she chose to rather have sex with him so that she can put it all on him, which is unfair.
        As women, we also need to think about the consequences of our actions. No one is responsible for you, only you, if you choose to place that responsibility into someone else’s hands then that’s on you, your choice. If you have no backup to get yourself out of that situation then rather stay home.

        1. EXACTLY….and why did she not talk to him to find out if he will leave her there or not if she does not give up the cookie…why not suuss out the situation FIRST…before “concluding” that she is “forced” to sleep with him??? Hay man….

    2. Hi Lucia and others
      Your comment is puzzling me! I think of the following scenarios:
      1. When Palesa decided to blow Sam in “his” sleep because she was in tears and said “No”then it is rape?
      2. When a girl ask me for R100 (any amount/thing) and I say you can get it if you agree to sleep with me and she refuse then she change her mind, it is rape!
      3. When that Khwezi went to JZ to ask for bursary and JZ said he doesn’t have funds but he is asking for blankets then it rape (not actual fact of the case btw)?
      4. When I ask you for sheets and you say no then you change your mind is that rape?
      5. When my wife says “No”since I came late last nite then in the morning she ask for morning glory, if I give her is it rape?
      There are many scenarios playing in my head right now, but I remember someone who once said after sleeping with a lady irrespective of the circumstances you must pray she does not go to the police!

      It has happened a lot where we find ourselves having done what we are not wishing to have done, like giving that nyaope guy R20 for washing car window to extreeme issues like sleeping with a person that you are ashamed of admitting to have slept with.
      I am always highly disturbed by false accusation of rape and sexual abuse as it let someone feel as a perpetrator. It is as difficult to prove that there was consent as it is to prove that there was no consent especially against the sneaky sinister people.

      Please try again to convince me. I can write a lot but will stop here

    3. Please take note of the fact that yes he tried to convince her to have sex and she said “no” and guy respected that,even went and slept on the couch. Now how in the world is it the guys fault that she came back HOURS later to inititate sex … nah dude … no … this is not fair. You know some people get raped seriously, this was NOT RAPE !!!

  6. “Only side chicks go on top” lol I have not laughed like this in a while and what’s worse my boss walked in and asked what I was laughing at and had to show her. Thankfully she laughed too. It’s true though this thing that if you have a Sugar daddy and a boyfriend at the same time you always end up having to sleep with both and both the different sex mean different things to you. You compartmatize your emotions and reasoning for the things you do so on this on BRA Mike I give 100%

  7. I survived two rape attacks without being raped and was raped once, in front of people! I have never been this open about my experience before but I feel she is making a joke of what rape really is. I am truly disgusted by her choice of words. Rape is not a joke at all or something to be taken lightly. She has serious issues she needs to deal with to understand the magnitude of the word RAPE

  8. …if she felt unsafe
    She could have left the room and sought Sun City Protection services. Surely transport could have been arranged.

    You left her alone, she came to you at 2am…what coerced her, her own horniness?

    She regrets giving it to you.
    Maybe she just wanted the attention without the sex…now she regrets it and puts it out like she had no choice.

    Get legal advice…so you stop doubting yourself

  9. Kungadlalwa ngomfana wabantu, he didn’t rape her. Guess what I have been in a similar position where I said no and the guy respected my decision and I stuck to it so nothing happened. Its so sad that this girl is playing victim instead of acknowledging that she had a moment of weakness. When a guy tempts you to have sex with him and you give in that’s not rape. If a guy forcefully has sex with you without your consent that is rape. I feel so sad for you guy this girls accusation is so serious.

  10. Dear Accused
    you did not rape that girl.. she came to you willingly after you had given her space and even said she can lock herself in if she felt unsafe. Her fear of being left in a “foreign” place does not mean you now forced yourself on her. Did she call anyone to notify them she was stranded? did you threaten to leave her there? I personally do not see how she could say you raped her. She’s regretting what she did.. you sound like you were the perfect gentleman to me. Yes, perhaps she would have wanted you to say “no, you dont wanna do this, lets not”.. fact is you wanted her, when she resisted, you stopped and walked away.. she came to you.

    Palesa and Neo’s situation has some blurred lines.. but I’d say it was rape. he said no multiple times, she just did as she wanted to do and did not listen to him say no. If it was the other way around she would have probably cried after the fact and shut down or something. I’ve been in Neo’s position (not exactly tied down or anything kinky like that) and i said no, I meant that no.. I meant it.. I meant it.. I MEANT IT! dont tell me because I complied I wanted it.. I was not strong enough to physically resist.. Neo got tied up and even asked if she was going through with even though had said no..

    yoh hai, Pheladi’s comment done pissed me off!

  11. if what you are saying is true then is not rape,and last time i check u must have forcely penetrate, bruises,torn clothes,screaming and i hope u used protection.Wish you all the best young man.

    1. Your version of rape is soooooo off though! The reason we are having this debate today is because rape is not just how you put it, if it was that easy then we wouldn’t be discussing this letter. It’s important for us all to understand what constitutes rape hey so we don’t find ourselves in such situations, both men and women for that matter.

  12. she wanted the zombo *& got it…she unlocked the door & walk straight into your pants, all you did was chow that kuku….
    dont feel guilty, she is the one having regrets because she fingered herself & eventually went in for the kill as a spur of the moment action.

  13. Accused you did not rape her, you went out of your way to make her feel safe. I am scared for you because with our police as soon as they hear the word rape they don’t care they just arrest you. Consult a lawyer dear.

    As for Neo, well he went along with it.

  14. Accused have a conversation with her and record the story. Read the rape act (Google) as long as there is consent on both sides and no coercion or use of force it doesn’t account as rape, and your both about the legal consenting age. Rape is no joke and from the story I hear guilt and regret being covered with the word rape and it’s disgusting

  15. Thank you bhut Mike…shuuuu what an explicit chapter this was…..

    QnA : Okay, feelings aside…because ke law works with facts and not feelings…with the facts that you provided. You did not rape her…. You took her out because well…you were courting the girl which all guys do..when they want a girl…when she went to Sun City she was aware that you guys will be sharing a room right?? She went still…. You initiated sex …she said NO… you left her.. you told her to lock the door if she is unsafe…cool…Now she was in that room alone and “safe” …she did not thingk to call someone and alert them that she is stranded?? She did not go to the Police to let them know that she is stranded??
    Did you threaten her?? No.. Did you manipulate her?? No ,….instead you left her alone…

    She comes out of the room because she had time to think about this whole situation…you took her to SunCity and the only way to repay you is by “giving it up” …. Now she feels cheap because she thinks you did all this because you just wanted to get laid…Is that rape..Hell NO …. HER FEELINGS and YOU forcing yourself on her are two different things…. She FEELS you raped when in actual FACT you didnt ….

    Seek legal advice though…. I know a few lawyers in JHB if you want me to hook you up….

    As for Neo and Palesa…..Palesa because he said NO twice and she disregarded that completely and did as she pleased with him…I too experienced this when I was dating an abusive boyfriend…he would hit me and then force me to have sex with him…Did I want it …Definitley NO…

    As for Pheladi….shame on you wena…shame on you….


  16. I would suggest you stay away from her and go to the police station and make a formal statement and tell the pilice thewhole story so that you protect yourself. If you know a police officer it would be better to talk to them first before you go to the piloce so that they advise you on how to go about this whole thing. You did not rape her though if she felt unsafe she could have called the police. Do not seek advice from lay people seek legal advice all these people could help build your case. Drinking wine id no excuse for her to accuse you of rape, you gys had sex now she regrets it she should just move on. I am sorry that you are gong through such, I hope this gets resolved peacefuly. Talk to your parents as well BUT STAY AWAY FROM HER AND HER FRIENDS as this could be seen as you trying to interfere with witnesses should she take it to court. Go to the piloce first but not to turn yourself in but to protect yourself. tell them you want to protect yourself just incase she turns around and go lay a charge of rape against you…. Godspeed budy

  17. Thank bhut’Mike and team
    Mr Accused, you did not rape her and I agree with THATgirl, she regretted what she did afterwards. Maybe she was hoping you will ask her if she was sure about what she was doing when she came to you at 2a.m. maybe if you had, she would have told you how she felt and you being the gentleman you are would have accepted that she did not want to have sex but felt she had to give it up coz she thought she had no other means to go back to the university. Maybe she asked advice from one of her friends who maybe advised her that she was being childish and perharps asked her what did she expect seeing that she came with you all the way to Sun City knowing you’d share a room, did all things fun only to be stingy with the cookie at bed time (just my opinion)
    Palesa and Neo’s situation is greyish – I think he did not say NO because he did not want to have sex but rather NO because they had issues to resolve; I am not saying that his NO did not mean NO. He did not want to have sex to sweep the problem under the carpet – he wanted them to talk first then they can do the dance I would think also depending on whether they had reached an understanding. As she said in the beginning she was using her “weapon” to get out of the dog box and thought that after that session she will be forgiven. Neo might have wanted make up sex but they had not yet made up; maybe he felt guilty for getting her injured when he pushed her and maybe just maybe he let it happen becuase he felt he will be forgiven for pushing her and injurying her in the process even though it was not intentional.

  18. Today’s Q& A if what is written on the letter is true word for word then according to me I would say you did not rape her .

    with Palesa and Neo case i would say she raped him.

  19. Dear Accused
    You did not rape this girl and now she’s ruining your name. You need to forget about this girl. She hasn’t opened a case and is using you to justify her inner sfebe. She wanted it but doesn’t want to accept it. Probably one of those girl that think sleeping with a guy she likes means she’s a whore.
    Stay away from her. Any thoughts you had of dating her shelve them. If she continues saying you Raped her, ask her for both of you to go to psyCad (think every varsity has them) so you can both work through this since she won’t open a case. If she refuses, stay away from her.

    This letter reminds me of something. There is a rumour that Limpopo girls are going around seducing and sleeping with people’s boyfriends and husbands then demand that the guy leaves his f2f of wife and marry her or she’ll open a rape case.

    We need to draw a line between Rape and Seduction. Sam was Seduced. He gave in, enjoyed it and Orgasmed.#HandsOfPheladi

    No court is going to find a man or women guilty of rape of the said victim admits s/he enjoyed it. Kanthe what is a Victim? Someone who enjoyed the said crime?

  20. Phaledi, Phaledi Phaledi. Tjo…a no turned into a yes you say. We have a long way to go…That is why most rape incidents are not reported. Fear or a no turning into a yes just because you complied. i complied almost everyday with my cheating husband who thought that the reason we had problems was because we didn’t have sex enough and he used that against me in front of our pastor and family. Forget his emotional unavailability, forget his lack of affection when sex is not had, forget all those other things that left me sexually unattracted to him.

    But I had to comply because it was my wifely duty and each time he rolled over, a piece of me left. I was raped right there in my marital bed time and time again, but it cannot be reported, because compliance. Every time it started the same….NO!!!!!!

    Damn I am livid

  21. in Palesa and Neo’s case ,I don’t believe Palesa raped him because the basis of Neo saying no was because he thought Palesa was using sex to solve their issue and also jokes were passed between them during the time of foreplay

    and on Accused’s case still the answer is no ,she willingly went to him and initiated the sex ,how was the poor guy to know that she thought that he was gonna leave her in sun city if she didn’t give it up ….she could have taken that time to explain to him her fears and hear what the guy had to say ,how do u date someone whom you feel you can’t have such talks with ….in this case really its not anyone’s fault or whatever but I think its very important that this girl rethinks her accusations before someone’s life gets ruined

  22. Guys.. why does it matter WHY Neo said no??? the fact remains he said NO.. why are some of you trying to change the meaning of the word NO?! I’m so shocked right now.. I’m in tears! if you orgasm you were seduced and you enjoyed it??? are yall kidding me right now?! please read up on physical stimulation! GOD! just remembered a movie i watched where a girl felt dirty because she couldn’t orgasm when she had sex with her boyfriend but she got raped and some how found herself having multiple orgasms.. did she want to be raped? NO.. was she enjoying being raped? ABSOLUTELY NOT! but our bodies are full off nerves, and when stimulated correctly they WILL react.. THAT DOES NOT MEAN YOU WANT TO BE STIMULATED! NO MEANS NO!!!

    1. I guess there’s a time for Rape hey… Neo sai NO to sex at that time because for him it didnt feel right…HE SAID NO qha qwaba….. So I guess when someone is being raped they wil lsay NO and the rapist will say okay I will come and rape you another time..

      Much as he wanted the role playing and stuff… HE SAID NO …Why are people trying to justify Palesa for taking advantage of her boyfriend??? This is the same as people saying she was raped because she was wearing a mini skirt therefore her NO was not a NO!!!! HAY MAN NXAAAA

  23. This girl does not know what rape is. Giving it up only to regret it after??? is a joke! She must sort out her issues & woman-up!

  24. This girl does not know what rape is. Eventually giving it up only to regret it after??? is a joke! She must sort out her issues & woman-up! If she felt unsafe, like Kgali said…she would have sought help.

  25. The young lady went to him during the night AFTER he said its cool sleep alone. I believe she made an irrational decision and she is now regretting it. I do not believe this guy should go through life believing that he raped this girl when it seems that he didn’t. He told her to lock the door if that would make her feel safer, of which she did, she then came later on during the night and initiated sex because she thinks he would have kicked her out? Come on. He would have kicked her out earlier, that guy was a perfect gentleman and for him to write to us shows that he is really beating himself about it. I agree with everyone that you should get legal advise and not have this hanging over your head. Such things can ruin you emotionally and mentally. Plus you will find yourself not trusting people because of it. Women should stop thinking and acting irrationally, such stories make the fight against rape harder.

  26. No means No,no matter the state or circumstance but a No will always be a No bantu,Neo said No multiple times n people are trying to justify it as a Yes ,but he said NO,had the tables been turned everyone wud have agreed that its Rape,QnA from the letter you wrote i wud say u did not rape her,its a pity that we live in a Country filled with Hyenas who Rape Old Women to infants daily,it now seems that some n pls note that i said some Women take advantage of an already Worse situation n claim to be raped when they aren’t for reasons known to them. Also they know that as a Man in a situation involving sex no one will believe you,even when u go to a Police Station they laugh at you Men and Women ,so my advice to u Q n A pls stay as faraway from her as possible n Yes Neo was Raped coz he said No a lot of times.

  27. Neo was raped he said No several times,the girl sun city was given space bt decided to wake up n initiate sex ,so she was nt raped.

  28. Your intentions was get laid and by the fact you go all out to persuade to go with her to lavish hotel. That put you to difficult position to prove it was conceptional sex.

  29. The comments in this chapter are an actual representation of the perpetuation of rape culture in our society. There are three sides to every story: his side, her side and the truth. Always remember we experience each moment differently. We could be stuck in a room together with no windows and no doors, just sitting on a chair each, and each of us would recollect the incident differently. Whether Palesa raped Neo, I would say by definition, yes she did. I think something that is always missed in rape conversations is that the body reacts as it is designed to biologically. You become aroused, you may even orgasm but it is still rape.

  30. Abantu abangenamqolo banje ke ukudika. This girl went out of a safe zone and asked for it. Now the excitement is gone and she wants to play the victim. I really hope for the guy’s sake, she finds her spine. So many of our brothers have been ruined by this nonsense.

    Some of todays comments have been really good, they might just help on a case we had to deal with at school. Thank you @THATgirl and many others

  31. So much to learn here brada Mike. Dankie.
    Accused, if all U wrote are facts, U did not rape yo girlfriend. Her thinking U wud or cud leave her etc are not facts & the court does not work with assumptions.
    She had so many options, using her phone to call, SMS, pls call back, whatsapp, call room service for assistance at night, wait till morning for cleaners, U name it.
    She never said NO after she came back to U @2am. B4 she had said NO & U STOPPED. U even went out of yo way to make her feel safe. Find legal advice & record everything when U discuss as evidence.
    As for Palesa she did rape Neo. Neo said NO over & over again irrespective of the reason(s). U steal food myb U can justify it but one cannot justify rape.

  32. The elements of rape are the following, sexual penetration, without the other person’s consent,unlawfullnes and intent. In order for an accused to be convicted of rape all the elements must have been present at the time of commission of the act, with regards to consent, if the consent is given as a result of force,intimidation or threat then the consent will be invalid. In your situation I believe that you did not use force, intimidation or even threaten the complainant . Lastly intention the accused must be aware that the complainant did not consent to the sexual penetration, it is clear from your story that you were not aware that she was not consenting as such cannot be charged with rape, recording her might be a good idea for your case and furthermore you have the right to a good name and dignity a suit for defamation of character is clearly needed against this girl.

  33. Today’s letter jst made me so sad i remembered an incident dat hapened in my neighbourhood few years neighhours kid was accused of rape by his girlfriend coz de girl found out de guy was cheating on boy was a law student and had jst gratuated he was sent to prison and got really really sick whilst in de later de girl started to regret what she did she wanted to correct evrythin but it was too late the boy died in prison n de girl commited suicide after hearing gore de boy boys mother also died from stroke it was such a sad sad time n this letter jst took me there.rape is a very serious issue and girls jst make jokes about it all de guy in today’s letter did not rape dat girl and ppl should stop cryin rape

  34. I hope u are telling all the details that transpired, because when u say u gave the room to her so she could feel safer, it seems as if u did something that made her feel unsafe, or maybe the persuasion was intense, u know..grabbing her, kissing her and touching her everywhere etc that she ended up being scared and gave it up. But, this is how it seems like not wat happened. I advice if u left out some details to make urself look like u were a complete gentleman, write another letter so we can advice u on a way forward, but if wats on ur letter is all that there is, then u did NOT rape her!

  35. feels like something is missing, a small detail or something that u scared could implicate you otherwise if this letter is every detail then you didn’t rape her, get help before this gets out of hand. the comments have made understand rape is a different way that I didn’t before and by Micasa’s comment that got me so sad that she experienced rape in her marital bed time and time again because “wifely duties” then how many wifes are going through that on their daily lives? we’d be shocked how many women find themselves in this situation and just because its your husband doesn’t mean it doesn’t leave you emotionally or mentally traumatised but you to suck it up because you’ll be told “that he’s your husband where do you expect him to get sex from” by families and friends because married people don’t run to the authorities they go to elders first

  36. Girl was not raped, ningazo dlala nge rape la.
    Girl was not threatened
    Girl had no reason to feel threatened as she seemed to be comfortable with guy even before the trip.
    Girl was not stranded
    Suncity stranded really.. with thousands of people around you including the guys mom who works there.
    lets call a spade a spade guys too many people are going to jail for crimes they didn’t commit and too many criminals do not have space in jail.


  37. AIBO BANTU LETS NOT GET THIS WRONG so manje nithi the ACCUSED must rot in jail just because this girl uhlulekile ukuvala imilenze i see alot of people are getting imotional just because they might have experience the same thing and ngiyazwelana nani kakhulu no one deserve to be FORCED INTO HAVING SEX ok.. let me tell my story one went to joburg visiting a guy who wanted to date me ( M FROM DURBAN) so the guy paid for evrythng ngibala hair clothes bus tickets booked the 5 star hotel paid for a car and the driver that was gonna pick me up dinne me into facy RESTURANT night time came he wanted sex i said nohe try so hard still ngathi no s finaly wangiyeka he slept on the couch i did no go to him so what m saying this girl should hv made A CALL BACK to the so calleld friends and classmate in that moment and tell them ukuthi she feels not safe send a wtsapp to a close friend umtshele ukuthi ur in a situation of not knwing what to do but no instead she choose to go and wake the guy and SEDUCING HIM BY TELL HIM SHE IS BEING CHILDISH now that she feel like a slut by being easly bought with vouchers secabanga nge rape its such a shame kunabantu who where being rapes langaphandle she must n,t confused rape with feeling cheap

  38. ah man please this thing is very simple. I mean the chick stays in Pretoria after all.
    The only issue here is you didn’t give her MAVUSO, that’s it.
    Some girls in Pretoria and yes TUT as well feel that if they give you sex then in the morning you must give her cash and if you don’t give her then it is rape.
    Just go VUSA her and she will be your best friend again.

  39. I know I’m very late for this conversation, but I just had to put it out there. This girl went to Sun City probably without her parents permission. 1st mistake. She was supposed to be at school. Not gallivanting with boys. 2ndly, none of us were in that room. So unless she came onto this platform, we only have the accused’s side. There are many ways to communicate, and thus guys body language told a different story. Can he just tell us how the events might have turned out had she not come back to him. Only this girl and this guy’s friends can vouch for this guys true nature. This girl might have been scared of her parents. hence she did call them. and involving the police would have alerted them to her shenanigans. and when you are 20 you don’t have a bunch of friends with cars waiting to come pick you up. and in the case of calling a male friend, it could end up being another horny and hungry lion. she had no1 else to turn to. so rather the monster she knows well and good. This girls only crime was being a liker of things like so many young women and grown ones alike. She was manipulated by this boy. He might not have raped her, but he seems far from being the “angel” that’s being portrayed here

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *