Y.E.S 51

Posted on Posted in Young Employed and Single

“A lot of people get this whole love thing wrong. Its important yes to love and be loved but its not the only thing out there. You can’t kill or harm yourself because someone stopped loving you. You have better things to do!” Mike Maphoto


I don’t know if I am the only girl in the world that goes through this but my mother annoys me! She is simply too much. As females our mothers should be the people we go to for advice because they should guide us better. As Lungi, my mother was the last person I could ever dream of for having such a nice open relationship with. The woman could not be trusted. She did things her way when she wanted and how she liked it. Forget how you feel about it because her way was the right way always. What was she doing here though? My mother is so dramatic I should never have told her. This is the reason why I avoid doing thinks with her or through her. She can take something so small and turn it into a very big thing. Now she had gone on and involved the pastor! This was so annoying.

“Moruti, welcome to my humble home!”

I said as I ushered them in. When you leave home not many people from your past get to visit your home. Needless to say apart from Mam’ Dolly and Miriam he was possibly the first person to come here from my old neighborhood.

“Thank you my child. This visit was long overdue!”

He said.

“Can I offer you anything to drink or eat?”

I asked them. Talk about time. Thank heavens I had bought food earlier on.

“No thank you. I am fine I don’t know about your mother. You left before we could serve you lunch!”

He said. There had been food at church. Once a month the women cook and we all eat this big lunch at church. Its always been like that. They say its for building trust and friendship amongst us the congregants.

“I am ok too!”

My mother said. I could hear that tone. She was here for business not to play around.

“Your mother told me about your situation…”

The pastor began. I wanted to stop him right there and ask him what situation. Unfortunately, that would embarrass my mother and I will never hear the end of it. Its close to being a sin, no, it is an actual sin to embarrass your parent in front of the pastor. Every child knows that black or white!

“Its not a situation pastor, I just had questions that’s all.”

I told him.

“Come on Lungi, don’t tell half stories. We drove all the way here so tell him the truth and all of it!”

She said. She turned to him and said,

“See what I meant, my own child seems scared of talking to me that’s why I thought you could help!”

I think the pastor had come here under duress. My mother was hectic and aggressive. No wonder why he had left his lunch to come here, she had cornered him.

“Lungi, help only comes to those who ask for it. Your mother is worried about you and as you can see we have never been here before meaning things are serious!”

He argued. I was not refusing to open and besides I did not need the lecture. It was just a matter of timing that’s all.

“Ok I have been having dreams but its nothing serious and its not like its every day. On Friday evening I got sick and I collapsed. The doctor said I was not sick it was just exhaustion. Yesterday is when I had two dreams, one in the morning and one in the evening. I dreamt of my grandmother…”

I went on to narrate the dreams. When I was done my mother said to the pastor,

“That is exactly what happened to Yanga and I don’t want happening to my daughter. I saw how it destroyed and this will destroy her too!”

She said. She started crying. My mother also!

“Mama why are you crying? It was just two dreams not like the world is coming to an end!”

I told her annoyed at her being this overly dramatic.

“You really don’t get it. Every time I tell you I am sick you treat me like I am crazy and paranoid but its because the ancestors are punishing me for refusing the calling. How many times have I been sick to the point of death but doctors can’t find what’s wrong with me?”

She asked me. My mother was a hypochondriac. She liked this idea of being sick all the time and she often made up stories like that. No one believed her anymore because it just sounded too much.

“Mum we take you seriously, every time you get sick don’t I take you to the doctor? Why are you making it sound like I forget you?”

I asked her but she ignored and spoke to the pastor instead,

“Please pray for her to be protected from this. I don’t want it for her!”

She pleaded.

“I can only pray for you but I can’t promise that the dreams will go away. I have prayed for many people who have this calling and some I saved and others I failed!”

He warned me. Clever guy to sit on the fence so to speak. Very clever indeed.

“Yes please pray for me!”

I said to him. I just wanted them to leave.

He started praying at the top of his voice! Goodness my poor neighbors. It was as though he was chanting and I just wanted to die of shame. Whoever heard him would think I was bewitched or something. He kept talking about cursing and rebuking by why at the top of his voice on a Sunday afternoon at that! Come on now! Everyone was in the flats and am certain the white people in the complex would complain about this.

“I curse you and I rebuke you in the name of Jesus!”

He shouted at the end and said,


If I had a demon in side me I am sure it had heard him loud and clear!

“We have to do this a few more times because the once will not be enough!”

My mother said,

“Do it like now?”

I asked her because there was no way this was happening again now. I had had enough, no thank you!

“No I can’t do it now even if that was the case. You need to be baptized again. That one is important.”

The pastor explained. Guys, I had only had to dreams in the space of one day and already they were saying take such big decisions.

“I will think about it. I am fine really.”

I tried to explain but no one was listening to me. My mother jumped in and asked when I could be baptized. I think to my mother I was still a child. She could not fathom that I could make decisions of my own.

“I don’t know when we are doing them. As you know we have specific days for such things so I can’t just schedule a date and do it!”

The pastor tried to explain to my mother but she was hearing none of it.

“Listen, with all due respect, my daughter doesn’t have a long time before this thing takes her. It has to be as soon as possible. Even if you are doing her alone on that day I don’t care!”

She instructed at him.

“I will ask the elders at church. She will have to come to church as well for everyone to pray for her because we work as a unit!”

He reminded her. I certainly did not want a ton of people knowing my issues. Before she could respond there was a knock on my door. It had to be Mbuso. I went to get it and immediately Ntheteng walked in holding the pizza,

“Aunty Lungi dad takes so long to decide. We were stuck in Debonairs because he could not decide what you would want to eat!”

She said. Only when looked up did she realize that I was alone.

“Oh hello!”

She said to my mom and the pastor.

“Hello to you too little girl what’s your name?”

The pastor asked her as he was closest to her. Mbuso walked in as she was saying,

“I am Ntheteng!”

“Oh what a beautiful name! It means praise me and I am so honored to meet you!”

He said with a smile on my face. My mother was not so warm.

“Mama, Moruti, this is my friend Mbuso he stays a few houses down!”

I explained by way of introduction. They all greeted and Mbuso took his leave. I told him I will come see them later. I think this was the opening the moruti needed because he immediately said,

“We are done here. When we make arrangements for the baptism I will tell you. Let me go wait in the car I need to make some calls!”

He stood up and I walked him to the door. I thanked him and told him I looked forward to hearing from them. This man was patient enough to wait for Jesus for 2000 years but he could not wait for my mother for 15 minutes. That’s how much of an irritation she was.

“I need to have a meeting with you and your sister. There are some things I have put off for so long that we need to discuss!”

She said when the pastor was out already.

“Mama since when do we need to announce a meeting. You make it sound scary we can meet anytime I don’t have a problem!”

I told her. How do I tell her to leave now though? I wanted to go to Mbuso’s they were probably eating by now.

“Ok then we will arrange it! I will call her and check when we can come.”

I told her. I am sure she wanted to tell us about my aunt because it was clear that this thing was worrying her a lot. I think I had told her too soon before actually seeing if the dreams would have persisted. I could see there was still something else in her head and she was looking for a way to say it.

“Mum just say what you are thinking because I can see there is something you want to say!”

I said. She had to go and to my credit or idiotity, I just had to ask, I just had to Eish!

“Are you sleeping with that man?”

She asked so seriously pouting her mouth like a fishing sucking on a straw!

“Sleeping with what man?”

I asked her even though it was obvious who she was asking about…

“Don’t play stupid with me. The man who came with his child, are you sleeping with him!”

She asked again.


I protested, she was out of order!

“Well just know if you are I will kill someone! I am not joking. What a disgrace!”

She said and instead of standing up she shifted her body to sit even more comfortably!

What now?

*******The End********



Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)


Dear Mike


Thank you for reading my letter. I have been thinking of writing it for a long time but I have been embarrassed for some reason.

I have been dating the same guy for about three years. Everything was cool until I went on holiday with my family and I cheated on him. He found out because my little sister told him about it after I had had a fight with her. I told him it was not true and at some point my sister told him that it was not true either. Something changed in him. He is a very sweet guy and cheating was one of the spur of the moment things when you get over excited on holiday. Anyway the problem is he has been asking me for anal sex since we got back (April). He had never asked for it before and frankly speaking who would. Has he turned gay all of a sudden? I mean is anal sex even logical? I love my guy and I will do anything for him but anal sex scares me a lot. He does not have the biggest ‘John’ in the world but the thought of something going up there is so scary. He has fingered me a few times ‘there’ and though it was not painful it is rather uncomfortable because it is not natural. I feel so guilty about me cheating that am about to give it to him but I have so many questions. Is it painful? What if he likes it so much we end up doing it every time? What if he ends up gay? HIV implications of it all? Does he still love me or he is trying to teach me a lesson?

Thank you for your time

Jhb Girl

37 thoughts on “Y.E.S 51

  1. tHYINI thiza Lungi z mom ungena [hi kanene.

    JHB Girl, i would never i mean never do anal sex, when you constipated its painful to poo imagine a hard thing over there, helllllll noooooooo

  2. JHB girl….Am confused …so you not sorry you cheated because well for you it was a spur of the moment thing because you were over excited???? And you worried about HIV from of anal sex??? Ignorant much??? Hay ndi lost…

  3. QnA My brothers name is John eish now I will never look at him the same way lol. I showed him this letter and he laughed. As for anal sex, a lot of people have it they just too embarrassed to speak about it. I haven’t tried it yet but what the hell, life is an adventure and you will always be scared of what you doing try

  4. Thanks Mikeesto, daily dose 🙂

    JHB girl LOL!!! Thanda kabi uku cheater on holiday. Ok so lets address the anal part of this, he is not gay come on now LOL!! The guy just needs some ass nje so #Mnike. Aint nothing wrong with anal sex, in fact its the best thing ever if you combine it all in session 🙂 There are lubricants you can use if you are scared of pain but trust me, if you can pop a king size kak outta there, his average John shouldnt be a problem. So to answer your question, anyone can ask for anal, all guys should be asking for it, it should be illegal to be denied modzidzi.

    So make up for your cheating ways and give a nigger somethin brownie 🙂 🙂

    You made my day shem…. Your letter deserves a shot of Bells 🙂


  5. Jhb girl you’re so full of ignorance.
    I got one question for you.
    Aren’t you worried about anal cancer and probably shitting yourself at the age of 45?

  6. Thanks Bra mike you are the best.

    @ JHB girl, he wants to stick it up the Fororo 🙂 , that is something no one should pressure you to do. you must give it up if you want to. He might not be gay. there are straight men who enjoy that thing. 🙂 🙂 I don’t know what’s attractive there but it looks like some people have found something attractive through the back door .

  7. JHB girl I for one would never go for it, that anus was not meant for sex bathing yoo. Those who have done it either say it was uncomfortable or painful. Cant even think about it.

    Today I don’t agree with Jackzorro at all.

  8. loooool tjo Jackzorro zokumangaza shem, legalising uMdzidzi#dead
    @JHB Girl, girl you ahve cheated on him and there is nothing that can be done to change that, so if he wants to do things that makes you uncomfortable then dont do them. wooo you shouldnt even think twice nje.

  9. JHB Girl… just Anal Douche before you get busy(buy lotsa lub, water based)!!! but most importantly discuss this with him before hand and how you too will go about this, you can even do it to each other, some guys like their prostate to be milked!! Wink Wink… go on a porn site get educated,.

    mare i feel he is being dangerous asking for that after you cheat… it might be a power thing that he wants to do. Domination.

  10. Q & A Don’t partake in anal sex dear otherwise you’ll be entrapped forever. I know a lady whom agreed to do it once and the husband never wanted the vagina again, he only went for the vagina when it was baby making time. She got depressed and tried to kill herself, and was left with one option, divorce. She still hasn’t healed from all that trauma. Be happy the guy is showing you his true self before marriage, so you have a choice to do an abormonation pr to leave and get yourself a real men.

  11. yey yey yey! anus was never meant to insert things somblief guys yhu! a finger here or there..sharp.. A PENIS?! animeni please. JHB girl dont do that out of guilt, if you are not comfortable with the idea then stay away because that thing is not for the faint hearted. I have a friend who was extremely curious about so 1 time she and her bf got drunk and tried it, she enjoyed it coz she wanted it. Manje wena umuntu wakho is pressuring you, uzoba ne trauma girl.

  12. Lol don’t do it Jhb girl, lub or no lub that shit is painful, and there are a lot of complications that comes after, i had to see a Dr a few times and you can imagine how embarrassing it is uyodunisela dokotela because he needed to see what was going in there, kuqala ngo fingering vese next time uzofuna i fisting 😂

  13. Lol@ the comments. My advice…..don’t do it love.the truth is that it weakens the rectal muscles very soon you will be shitting on your self..

  14. QnA I think he is asking for it because he can see your guilt and it’s technically your last virginity so he wants to take that too. It’s like you are being made to prove your loyalty to him but this does not guarantee he won’t dump you afterwards. If you not ready for kinky then don’t do it because at the end of the day the body belongs to you and only you

  15. People who fantasied about that are porn film watchers. It makes looks simple and adorable. Let me tell you it is fashionable anal sex because of the media but it is up to you.

  16. lol i,m suprised i havent seen this comment yet regarding JHB girl,s plea of advice from people so let me just put it out there, gal this thng is just simple nje ur guy doesnt want to eat where anada guy from some holiday has eaten but stil wants to do u becoz some guys are jsut like that nje, so he prefers the anal maybe the thot of someone doing his gal disgust him, but disgust or not, dont do things you are not comfortable with just becoz u feel guilty, nkampane ka lahla motho joh…

  17. I agree with you @nthablolo.

    Jhb girl, I don’t know but something about him wanting anal is a bit off. Think about it, is it for the thrill or does he want to F you like the female dog he views you to be after you cheated on him as punishment??????? Someone once said that for you to be comfortable, you must ask uncomfortable questions.

  18. hahahaha the comments here are a buzz
    @Jhb Lala, bona if you enjoyed his finger up there maybe you might enjoy his dingiling too with help of lubs of course but if you are not up to it, don’t do it. It might break you if you force it…literally lols

  19. LOL but on the real though guys, I think jhb girl wants some anal but she just has these negative thoughts because of her guilt. Whatever the motive is for the guy, we shouldn’t be attaching it to this anal request LOL!. So the first point would be for jhb girl to see if he has changed in his sexual behaviour when doing their normal routine… Coz it could be that his ego is bruised and he may just be sensing that his John isn’t big enough for your Marlena 🙂 So your “last virginity” maybe his only remaining refuge.

    You guys re funny though

  20. Lungis mom has a lot of explaining to do… and finally now her sicknesses makes sense, i love how this story was constructed you link everything together and they make sense from the beginning. i hope it doesnt end soon thou 🙁

    Jhb Girl, as well all know men dont easily forgive cheating, could be that your man wants to punish you for cheating by wanting anal as its something he never asked for before, and MAYBE he might think that after having his way with you he might feel superior and accept that u cheated and move on, but what if it doesnt change anything afterwards and he still gets to dump you? Your confidence will be twice bruised than before. walk away i dont see anything good coming from this

  21. anal is no no I for one would never try it.. but if you’re the curious type try it at your own terms, do it only if you are comfortable with the idea, other than that dont do it just nje because u bae wants it.. at the end of the day the fororo is yours, no one should force or pressurize you to stretch it yooh the only biggest thing that should pass through there is shit hai dicks

  22. Okay QnA it’s all up to you if u wanna give up your mpundu otherwise you not going to enjoy, to answer your question, yes it is painful, very painful but for some reason the more the strokes the more enjoyable it gets (still painful though) hiv implications … If you already having unprotected vaginal sex with him aren’t you worried about hiv then?? If he has hiv you’ll get it through vaginally or anal sex , will he want it more?? Depends on your guy, but from my experience he just had #Fomo I gave it to him we both enjoyed it , he doesn’t demand it in fact I demand it at times. Is he teaching you a lesson? We don’t know and will never know go and have it and come share the experience haha…. ladies side chicks keep on winning cos they willing to explore wena your still worried about your bum , your ass won’t leak (unless if it’s full time anal then I don’t know) so go out there and explore shem.

  23. Jhb Girl….well there is absolutely nothing wrong with trying anal sex. I’ve tried it a couple of times and started enjoying it at some point. Yes it is painful at first…kodwa as soon as John is thrusting slowly you’ll be happy too. Just as long as you have lots of lube and you’re on control of how he puts it in, you’ll be okay.

  24. Thanks Mike

    Mara I watch porn n they make it look easy but what about the shit back there?isn’t there some nasty smell n shit wn he pulls it out? Lady if u don’t wanna loose him give him that fororo 😁 cause we all know this ladies holidays u get fcuked most of the time vele… 💯 cause I was told some chick Tut(The Heights) Block F 😂 had a loose stomach n her shit came out wn he pulled out Yhooo…. It was shitty experience I tell u💯

    Please guys may we get feedback letters also…

  25. Flow though LMFAO Kwaaaa. You cant do the fororo while constipated bathong… And when you do on a normal day, you ought to have cleared the backend of any nasty suprises. oh and to answer your question, aint no smelly smell if your person is clean nje period. 🙂

  26. You people are so funny! The quite a lot of people have done anal see it’s just that they don’t say! Even that Holy friend of yours has done it and enjoys it. I for one have tried it and enjoyed it! No douche was used just lube! Do try it Jhb girl but don’t do it to keep him because you can give him and he can break up with you if you say he has changed

  27. You guys are cracking me up :):) , Hhay Jack no way, Odour is kicking back there. even after washing it or exfoliating, its cooking there, Period.

  28. X-rated stuff I am about to pull here….

    The thing with anal is this, men love it because it’s so tight, so basically the muscles around the fororo hole. And no, he is not gay, some guys just really do enjoy it. Although you as a lady need to have cleaned your area and your body thoroughly before partaking. You won’t enjoy it that’s a promise, but we all differ since his Johnny isn’t the biggest. Either way give up to please and make him happy. Just use a lot of lube and rather be drunk for your first experience, also when he thrusts your chocolate box let him finger you and massage your cilt. Ooh, that you will love and lastly the only other high moment is when he comes in your fororo.

    PS. Don’t let him let him change holes though, as in one minute he is in the p****y the next in the fororo. No, that’s extremely dangerous, as bacteria can easily be transmitted. Hope you have done HIV tests etc together though.

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