“A lot of people get this whole love thing wrong. Its important yes to love and be loved but its not the only thing out there. You can’t kill or harm yourself because someone stopped loving you. You have better things to do!” Mike Maphoto
I don’t know if I am the only girl in the world that goes through this but my mother annoys me! She is simply too much. As females our mothers should be the people we go to for advice because they should guide us better. As Lungi, my mother was the last person I could ever dream of for having such a nice open relationship with. The woman could not be trusted. She did things her way when she wanted and how she liked it. Forget how you feel about it because her way was the right way always. What was she doing here though? My mother is so dramatic I should never have told her. This is the reason why I avoid doing thinks with her or through her. She can take something so small and turn it into a very big thing. Now she had gone on and involved the pastor! This was so annoying.
“Moruti, welcome to my humble home!”
I said as I ushered them in. When you leave home not many people from your past get to visit your home. Needless to say apart from Mam’ Dolly and Miriam he was possibly the first person to come here from my old neighborhood.
“Thank you my child. This visit was long overdue!”
“Can I offer you anything to drink or eat?”
I asked them. Talk about time. Thank heavens I had bought food earlier on.
“No thank you. I am fine I don’t know about your mother. You left before we could serve you lunch!”
He said. There had been food at church. Once a month the women cook and we all eat this big lunch at church. Its always been like that. They say its for building trust and friendship amongst us the congregants.
“I am ok too!”
My mother said. I could hear that tone. She was here for business not to play around.
“Your mother told me about your situation…”
The pastor began. I wanted to stop him right there and ask him what situation. Unfortunately, that would embarrass my mother and I will never hear the end of it. Its close to being a sin, no, it is an actual sin to embarrass your parent in front of the pastor. Every child knows that black or white!
“Its not a situation pastor, I just had questions that’s all.”
I told him.
“Come on Lungi, don’t tell half stories. We drove all the way here so tell him the truth and all of it!”
She said. She turned to him and said,
“See what I meant, my own child seems scared of talking to me that’s why I thought you could help!”
I think the pastor had come here under duress. My mother was hectic and aggressive. No wonder why he had left his lunch to come here, she had cornered him.
“Lungi, help only comes to those who ask for it. Your mother is worried about you and as you can see we have never been here before meaning things are serious!”
He argued. I was not refusing to open and besides I did not need the lecture. It was just a matter of timing that’s all.
“Ok I have been having dreams but its nothing serious and its not like its every day. On Friday evening I got sick and I collapsed. The doctor said I was not sick it was just exhaustion. Yesterday is when I had two dreams, one in the morning and one in the evening. I dreamt of my grandmother…”
I went on to narrate the dreams. When I was done my mother said to the pastor,
“That is exactly what happened to Yanga and I don’t want happening to my daughter. I saw how it destroyed and this will destroy her too!”
She said. She started crying. My mother also!
“Mama why are you crying? It was just two dreams not like the world is coming to an end!”
I told her annoyed at her being this overly dramatic.
“You really don’t get it. Every time I tell you I am sick you treat me like I am crazy and paranoid but its because the ancestors are punishing me for refusing the calling. How many times have I been sick to the point of death but doctors can’t find what’s wrong with me?”
She asked me. My mother was a hypochondriac. She liked this idea of being sick all the time and she often made up stories like that. No one believed her anymore because it just sounded too much.
“Mum we take you seriously, every time you get sick don’t I take you to the doctor? Why are you making it sound like I forget you?”
I asked her but she ignored and spoke to the pastor instead,
“Please pray for her to be protected from this. I don’t want it for her!”
“I can only pray for you but I can’t promise that the dreams will go away. I have prayed for many people who have this calling and some I saved and others I failed!”
He warned me. Clever guy to sit on the fence so to speak. Very clever indeed.
“Yes please pray for me!”
I said to him. I just wanted them to leave.
He started praying at the top of his voice! Goodness my poor neighbors. It was as though he was chanting and I just wanted to die of shame. Whoever heard him would think I was bewitched or something. He kept talking about cursing and rebuking by why at the top of his voice on a Sunday afternoon at that! Come on now! Everyone was in the flats and am certain the white people in the complex would complain about this.
“I curse you and I rebuke you in the name of Jesus!”
He shouted at the end and said,
If I had a demon in side me I am sure it had heard him loud and clear!
“We have to do this a few more times because the once will not be enough!”
My mother said,
“Do it like now?”
I asked her because there was no way this was happening again now. I had had enough, no thank you!
“No I can’t do it now even if that was the case. You need to be baptized again. That one is important.”
The pastor explained. Guys, I had only had to dreams in the space of one day and already they were saying take such big decisions.
“I will think about it. I am fine really.”
I tried to explain but no one was listening to me. My mother jumped in and asked when I could be baptized. I think to my mother I was still a child. She could not fathom that I could make decisions of my own.
“I don’t know when we are doing them. As you know we have specific days for such things so I can’t just schedule a date and do it!”
The pastor tried to explain to my mother but she was hearing none of it.
“Listen, with all due respect, my daughter doesn’t have a long time before this thing takes her. It has to be as soon as possible. Even if you are doing her alone on that day I don’t care!”
She instructed at him.
“I will ask the elders at church. She will have to come to church as well for everyone to pray for her because we work as a unit!”
He reminded her. I certainly did not want a ton of people knowing my issues. Before she could respond there was a knock on my door. It had to be Mbuso. I went to get it and immediately Ntheteng walked in holding the pizza,
“Aunty Lungi dad takes so long to decide. We were stuck in Debonairs because he could not decide what you would want to eat!”
She said. Only when looked up did she realize that I was alone.
She said to my mom and the pastor.
“Hello to you too little girl what’s your name?”
The pastor asked her as he was closest to her. Mbuso walked in as she was saying,
“I am Ntheteng!”
“Oh what a beautiful name! It means praise me and I am so honored to meet you!”
He said with a smile on my face. My mother was not so warm.
“Mama, Moruti, this is my friend Mbuso he stays a few houses down!”
I explained by way of introduction. They all greeted and Mbuso took his leave. I told him I will come see them later. I think this was the opening the moruti needed because he immediately said,
“We are done here. When we make arrangements for the baptism I will tell you. Let me go wait in the car I need to make some calls!”
He stood up and I walked him to the door. I thanked him and told him I looked forward to hearing from them. This man was patient enough to wait for Jesus for 2000 years but he could not wait for my mother for 15 minutes. That’s how much of an irritation she was.
“I need to have a meeting with you and your sister. There are some things I have put off for so long that we need to discuss!”
She said when the pastor was out already.
“Mama since when do we need to announce a meeting. You make it sound scary we can meet anytime I don’t have a problem!”
I told her. How do I tell her to leave now though? I wanted to go to Mbuso’s they were probably eating by now.
“Ok then we will arrange it! I will call her and check when we can come.”
I told her. I am sure she wanted to tell us about my aunt because it was clear that this thing was worrying her a lot. I think I had told her too soon before actually seeing if the dreams would have persisted. I could see there was still something else in her head and she was looking for a way to say it.
“Mum just say what you are thinking because I can see there is something you want to say!”
I said. She had to go and to my credit or idiotity, I just had to ask, I just had to Eish!
“Are you sleeping with that man?”
She asked so seriously pouting her mouth like a fishing sucking on a straw!
“Sleeping with what man?”
I asked her even though it was obvious who she was asking about…
“Don’t play stupid with me. The man who came with his child, are you sleeping with him!”
She asked again.
I protested, she was out of order!
“Well just know if you are I will kill someone! I am not joking. What a disgrace!”
She said and instead of standing up she shifted her body to sit even more comfortably!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you for reading my letter. I have been thinking of writing it for a long time but I have been embarrassed for some reason.
I have been dating the same guy for about three years. Everything was cool until I went on holiday with my family and I cheated on him. He found out because my little sister told him about it after I had had a fight with her. I told him it was not true and at some point my sister told him that it was not true either. Something changed in him. He is a very sweet guy and cheating was one of the spur of the moment things when you get over excited on holiday. Anyway the problem is he has been asking me for anal sex since we got back (April). He had never asked for it before and frankly speaking who would. Has he turned gay all of a sudden? I mean is anal sex even logical? I love my guy and I will do anything for him but anal sex scares me a lot. He does not have the biggest ‘John’ in the world but the thought of something going up there is so scary. He has fingered me a few times ‘there’ and though it was not painful it is rather uncomfortable because it is not natural. I feel so guilty about me cheating that am about to give it to him but I have so many questions. Is it painful? What if he likes it so much we end up doing it every time? What if he ends up gay? HIV implications of it all? Does he still love me or he is trying to teach me a lesson?
Thank you for your time