Unless the man is your father and even then this is questionable, men will always put their needs first before
yours. Think of all the men back in the day who went to the mines and came back knowing they had HIV, because they wanted to get laid they came and gave this disease to their wives because their selfishness meant that they only catered for themselves. Maybe that idea is extreme, yes nowadays women cheat too but who were the original cheats? What brought us to this level that we now share mutually assured destruction simply by entering in a relationship, men! I could not believe he had done this! Why then had he called for me if he had someone else to fuck?
“Get ready for bed!”
That’s what he had said to me. This man had just slept with another woman and the next thing he was saying to me was get ready for bed? Really.
“I don’t want to sleep!”
I whispered to myself but not loud enough for him to hear. I stood up and paced back and forth.
“Sam, did you just have sex with another woman?”
I asked him. I did not know how to react. If it was Neo I would be so angry and ready to commit murder but with Sam, he was in charge and the boss so what was the best way to react.
“You can’t ask me that Palesa, I don’t ask you when last you slept with your man either. You do your thing and I do mine!”
He said. He was showering with the door open so he could hear me clearly as I was standing by the door. I felt my head spinning with confusion.
“But how could you do that Sam, I came all the way here because you specifically asked me to do so?”
I asked him the tears stinging me now.
“I didn’t think you would come back on time and besides she means nothing to me!”
He said in a ‘matter of fact” manner. My feelings didn’t matter. He was the boss and had paid for me to be here. He had gotten me shopping, well I didn’t buy but you get the point so he could do whatever he wanted as far as he was concerned.
“So it’s right for you to do this to me Sam? I am a person, a person in your immediate space and look at me now…”
I said and the tears just came out. Look, when you have a blesser no matter how self important you may feel you know you are cheap! Your sense of worth is down to how much money you can get out of him in return for sex as that’s all his value gain. It’s like you put a price on your punani as Khanyi had called it. That’s all fair and good but for the person to come and tell you or show you just how cheap you are that cuts deep. It had never happened to me before!
“I am sorry little one. It won’t happen again. I thought young people don’t mind such things. Sex for you means nothing nowadays even in the conference they told us. It’s for the fun of it not for the love of it! Am I wrong?”
He asked as he got into the shower.
“That’s the reason why old people mustn’t have conferences about young people on their own because they lie to each other!”
I retorted! It stung him but he laughed!
“Well old people make policies and have the money so we do what we think is best for you!”
“Like sleeping with other women then expecting the young ones who can’t think for themselves to be fine with it? No wonder why this world is so fucked up!”
I don’t think I had ever sworn in front of him. Even he was surprised if the good look he gave me was anything to go buy.
“So what happens next?”
He asked me. I still had the money he had given me, I am sure I could go get a hotel even this late but Khanyi had said I needed to take care of Neo first. Imagine now I could end up losing both Neo and Sam by how I reacted on this one night. I went and sat on the chair in the corner. I literally crawled into a ball to be honest. He could see I was hurting.
“I didn’t mean it like that! I am sorry Palesa. I will understand if you want to go home.”
He said changing his tone and a bit softer. Was he getting rid of me permanently or he genuinely meant that.
“I am fine. You have always been a gentleman and I never expected to see this side of you.”
I told him with a coarse voice due to all the crying. It touched a nerve because I could see he got uncomfortable. They like being put on a pedestal and they like to look powerful and respectable always no matter how disgusting they are.
“Can I make it up to you?”
He asked. What choice did he have and what choice did I have? I did not respond because I did not have an answer. When you have a blesser you should learn to put your emotions aside and do what needs getting done.
“It’s ok I will survive!”
I said. I stood up and in front of him I took off my clothes, took my towel and went to take a bath. In the shower I cried some more but not loud enough for him to hear. It still hurt like a mother though. After I was done showering, I came out stark naked and dressed up in front of him. He was looking and that’s what’s I wanted. I dressed up fully and put on the cock blocker of all nightwear, my onesy!
“Are you going to sleep in that?”
He asked me! After the little show I had given him even a gay guy would have asked the same question and why not? I looked like I lived in a gym, even I know that.
“What do you expect me to sleep in?”
I asked him. He looked dumbstruck but what I had just said and I was certain he was going to throw me out.
“Anything but not that! You look like you are wearing overalls! I know you angry at me but you not getting into this bed, my bed, dressed like you going to the Siyanqoba rally!”
He said. I felt so helpless. I was thinking of torturing him but truth be told, I had no choice.
“Are you really going to make me do this? Does this feel right to you after what just happened?”
I asked him.
“Are you in love with me or are we just fooling around? I seem to remember you telling me how much you love your boyfriend and I have never asked you to get rid of him. Most men will! So I got lucky from a woman from another country who I will never see again and you want to dump me?”
He asked me almost daring me. There was something about the way he said that made me think he was on the verge of kicking me out. He had turned on the warm air on the aircon, the one I had failed to operate.
“I never said that either. If I was not human I would not be hurt. I have learned to respect you, it’s obvious, everyone does and it’s because you have earned it. When someone you respect so much does this what do you think happens next?”
I buttered him. I took off the onesy, leaving me wearing my thongs and nothing else. The pig actually drew his breath.
“If you don’t want me to sleep in the onesy I won’t sleep in it. You the man so you decide.”
I said to him.
“Yes please. You look so sexy! You should not hide that from me! I am such a fool for what I did today? I am sorry! You look good!”
He said with glee. I think he was horny! How could an old man like him be horny twice in one day? Didn’t they say these old dudes can only get it up once? He could see I was not in the mood.
“Love we can fix this. I know I hurt you but me sending a car all the way to pick you up means I want you hear. That’s all that matters. I messed up. We can fix this and I want to fix this starting tonight!”
He said. ‘Starting tonight’ probably means that he wanted sex to show how much he cared. South African men are truly all the same.
“Tomorrow we will fly back together to Jhb! You will go shopping like you said and we still have Dubai… Is that the sign of someone who doesn’t like you?”
He asked me? Was that a trick question?
“Tonight if we have sex we won’t be making love, we will be having sex and you will hurt me. I am unhappy but you know to please you there is nothing I will not do!”
I told her. I had confused him. After the conference he had just come out of, what I said meant that I was effectively saying to him that he might as well raped me. I went into bed, where he was lying in his boxer shorts. I put my hands around him and I lay into him. It was a cuddling motion. My boobs were on his side in their naked glory.
“Its ok love we don’t have to have sex!”
He said. I smiled a bit but then the next worry came, would he dump me when we got to Jhb?
“Can we just talk so we can get back to normal?”
I asked him.
“No its fine, I am tired!”
He said and he turned and switched off the light on his side. Shit! I had to think quickly! I was not going to lose my blesser because getting a new one is the hardest thing ever!
I had to something. I dug deep; he was not my man after all just someone who was paying me to have a beautiful life in exchange for sex every now and again right. Why was I being high and mighty? I knew my place.
I gave him 30 minutes to pass out and then I knew what needed to be said, I listened to my inner Khanyi because it’s something she would say.
I slid down the covers. It’s a good thing her was naked already and I proceeded to blowjob him, be it with tears in my eyes!
He woke up in seconds!
I had truly become a true blessee!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I love your work. I respect the patience you took to build up this blog. It takes a lot of heart. Thank you.
I just got my first job and the first thing I would like to do is get rid of my boyfriend. I am 26 and we have been together since I graduated 3 years ago. He has helped me with my bills, upkeep and gave me a girlfriend allowance even. He is not arrogant but because he was paying for all these he cheated constantly and even beat me up once after I went through his phone and confronted him. In the time we have dated he cheated with about four girls that I know off and one is a girl who is in matric this years. I did not leave him then because of that fear of being alone and in all honesty when you don’t have money you need all the help you can get. I have a degree not even a diploma but could not get a job even in retail until now. I have been working two months and it’s permanent. Now he seems to be paying more attention to me but I already have that hurt inside of me over what happened in the past.
How do I get rid of him? Do I take out all the files so he understands why I am doing it or do I just tell him with are through and walk away?