No one wants to think of themselves as a selfish person. I am not a selfish person therefore and watching him walk away like that hurt so much. What the hell was that girl thinking? Did she really think I was going to make her take my man like this? I realized that causing a scene at this moment would be counterproductive. I am not xenophobic, I am a university student after all but seeing this foreign girl take my man made me hate all foreign people. I was fuming but I am not sure who I was fuming against. I wish I had that Valerie girl’s number because I wanted to destroy her. She is the one who had done this! There is a reason why girls all have pictures on Instagram but don’t show off their men. It’s for times like these. I needed to talk to someone and the only person I could think of was Khanyi.
“You wouldn’t believe what just happened?”
I said when she picked up the phone,
She asked. I told her the whole story of how I had bumped into Neo in the parking lot. She listened attentively. When I was done she responded.
“You didn’t even ask how things went after you left. I must be the one to advise you but you don’t even check in on me!”
She said and she hung up. Ouch! The one time I needed her she had hung up on me. I really needed her so I called her back. When you have a best friend there is very little you would not do for them. Maybe it was just me who believed that but she kind of had a point. I had left her and left with her supposed enemy at that.
“I am sorry friend you are right!”
I said to her. I thought she would hang up but she did not.
“It’s fine. All I am saying is you need to also pay attention to me and my needs. It can’t always be about me.”
She told me. I apologized yet again and she seemed to be understanding still. Now I was scared to bring up Neo so I let her guide the conversation.
“After you left there was drama. My uncles were fuming. One wanted us to follow you back to Jhb with his car and another wanted us to call the police and get Yolanda arrested. My father was shamed for allowing a woman to talk to him like that. I thought he would stand up for her but he just proved to be even more useless on his own. My uncle kept on drumming it into him that a woman should not have that much power in the house. It was like I was watching a movie in the 1800s!”
She explained. I was scared to say anything because I was not sure what side she was on. When it came to Khanyi she seemed to sit on the fence on this feminist agenda and when she spoke out for women came with what mood she was in.
“I must say Yolanda surprised me. She always looks like the weasel that I thought she was as she often avoids arguments and hides but today she stood up for herself in a way I did not expect.”
She added and I asked,
“Did you respect her for it or are you with your family that a woman’s place is under her husband’s thumb?”
I asked. I think that was a loaded question as I had asked specifically so as to guide her answer.
“Oh come on, it’s not really about being under his thumb, she must respect my dad especially in front of his family. Now he looks like a wimp and he has lost respect amongst his brothers!”
She said. I was very surprised that she had chosen to defend her father after all this. Yolanda would have been the most obvious choice considering she was the victim here.
“Oh I see. I just thought you guys really pushed her to breaking point. You know in some villages, actually recently even in Limpopo a woman was accused of being a witch and the community burnt her alive and killed her nephew too. This was not a week ago even. So if your family call her witch, which you did, to her face, must she be burned too?”
I asked. Eish, guess I had chosen a side.
“Oh come on we are not that barbaric!”
She defended her family.
“I did not say you were but you accused her of the very same thing your family accused Yolanda of and why? Her crime is she married your father? So why isn’t he a witch too because it’s not like she married herself.”
She kept quiet for a moment then she responded,
“Let’s not talk about this anymore!”
“Its fine let’s not but I saw the way she cried all the way home. I thought she was going to kill us the way she was distraught. That woman loves your dad and you know it. You are just too angry and bitter to see that she is good for him and to him! She even puts a lot of effort in you but all you give her is shit for no reason! Next time they call her a witch remember that old lady they burned Khanyi, they burnt her to death! That’s how righteous they were!”
I told her. I guess I was trying to bring this whole Yolanda saga to an end. We could not keep on discussing it over and over again but wrong is wrong and those village people needed to get off their high horse.
“Ok cool then. My father says he will go to Richards Bay tomorrow to hire us as a car to bring us back after the funeral!”
She explained and I had something to say to that too,
“That’s wise! This way the two of you will be able to sort out your issues and come up with a way on how you will both make it up to Yolanda!”
I told her. Someone had to tell her. If I was her best friend then I had to cross that line and hopefully make sense to her. The problem with girls is that a line can be crossed even when you are trying to help. A small thing can become a big thing depending on what mood she is in and the consequences vary.
“Yes I thought so too. Please let’s drop this topic. I know which side you are on…”
She started but I cut her off,
“It is not about sides Khanyi! There is only one side and it’s the right side! I love you my friend but at times you are so stubborn!”
I said laughing trying to lighten the topic a bit. We had become too serious now and that would not end well. Girl friends are like boiling oil, you have to handle with care always otherwise you can become ex friend very soon and she will reveal all your secrets.
“Ok I hear you anyway about you and Neo, let’s talk about that!”
She said. It was a good way to change the topic because I really needed us to talk about that.
“How did you say you got caught again?”
She asked me. I told her the whole Valerie story and how she had posted a picture of us on Instagram and tagged me. When I was done she laughed and said,
“Yho! You can’t even deny it hey. How? So what’s your plan?”
She asked me.
“Dude that’s why am calling you so you can give me advice! I don’t know what to do and you know Neo is my future!”
I reminded her.
“I know he is but le wena you have to be realistic; you can’t maintain both Sam and Neo at the same time. Sam is high class and is has a lifestyle that will eventually get you caught. Neo is at school. He can never meet you on the same level as Sam can. Right now you have Sam, that’s secure but Neo it’s not. If you do the stupid thing I think you are thinking of doing, that’s dump Sam then you will be very stupid indeed.”
She told me. Was she saying this because of the money?
“Tell me what I should do then!”
“I know for a fact Neo is going to come and demand that you dump the sugar daddy. He is going to ask you to call him, in front of him, put him on speaker and tell him it’s over. He might even ask a question or two from the sugar but that’s about it. They won’t even have a conversation!”
She told me, of which I asked her how she was so sure,
“All men do that. They have an ego. He won’t just dump you without trying to win you from the other guy. It makes them feel like they are still in control even though they will still be angry!”
She explained and I was taking it all in. I know usually when you cheat on a guy he dumps you but almost always if he comes back to you he is going to abuse you for it!
“All you have to do is call your sugar and encourage him to say that yes you came to town but nothing happened because you started crying saying you wanted to go back home. On the instagram you said that the girl spoke about shopping meaning you must say that you gave back his money whilst the sugar daddy must say you threw his money right back at him.”
She explained. This was too risky though, way too risky for me.
“Sam would never go for this and besides he has left the country already!”
“Are you really that slow?”
She asked me which was a bit insulting.
“Ok I don’t follow!”
“We don’t use Sam; he is too old for such childishness. You have to find a guy or man who wants something from you or who you can trust to say the right thing!”
She explained and for a moment I hit a blank. I did not have many guy friends. Yes I am not those girls that love male friends more than female friends then come back and say equal rights when they can’t even stand their fellow sisters.
“I can’t think of anyone! I am so screwed!”
She screamed in frustration!
“Really Palesa must I think of everything for you. You said the guy who drove you asked you to submit his CV for him. That is our guy. He already knows that Sam is your sugar and I am sure he met Valerie too so he would sell the best lie! Think Palesa think!”
She said. I found myself smiling because low as this might be, this could actually work.
“Yes I will do it!”
I told her! I was going to get him back without losing Sam!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Thank you so much for the well wishes. I am on the road to recovery now but am feeling very good. I hate hospitals but this was more pleasant than I thought. My post op nurse was a lady who was a fan of Realities and she told me that Nothabo’s character was like one of the doctors she worked it. She even introduced us. The Diary family is bigger than I thought. Thank you guys for having helped grow this brand.
I have been reading your blogs for years now and you are the best. Greetings to all the readers.
I have a problem. I’m 27 and became a huge supporter of sex toys by mistake. My husband is in the army and was deployed outside the country for two six month stints. To keep myself busy I bought a toy. I’ve been using a vibrator for a few years and successfully so…I cum every time. Unfortunately I can’t seem to get myself off without the vibrator, nor can my husband for that matter. Before my husband I had been with six men, whom, despite their best efforts (with their fingers, tongues, or penises) were never able to get me to orgasm. Hubby is back now but the sex life has become terrible for me. I can’t use my toy when he is there because it sends the message that he is failing at is duties and what’s worse he s always horny. What can I do, if anything? Should I see a doctor?
Thanks for your time,