“No matter how badly you screw things up in your relationship, no man is allowed to hit you! That one is a rule you take to the grave no matter what!”
“The problem with us women is that we put too much emphasis on the importance of sex when men only realize the importance of it if they catch you cheating on them! We then go and sing songs on how we run the world when we can’t even run our own sex lives without being named or shamed by our fellow sisters!”
I remember when I first said this on campus in one of the elective classes I had taken at university in my second year, Philosophy! What bullshit and a waste of my time. Some people had laughed whilst other high and mighty girls had sneered at me for saying that.
“Explain what you mean Miss Mbatha!”
My professor had asked me protecting me from the commotion I had caused… He was an old Jewish man who seemed to make us do all the teaching. I was nervous and uncomfortable but I was ready,
“Isn’t it obvious, with women we will do anything to keep loyal to the man we are sleeping with no matter who else he is sleeping with. It’s more than just love but also the fact that we prefer to remain familiar to one person in bed. This is what makes most men know that we will never leave them. Sex is a weapon they use to keep us in check yet at the same time they use to conquer more women. We are too afraid because the moment you liberate yourself from sexual repression you put yourself every woman who is still under it calls you a whore! They cannot seem to understand that all the men whoever cheated on them it was an act of sleeping with someone else and it hurt because they were loyal and waiting for him to come home and do it to them!”
I explained to the class and that had triggered a nerve especially amongst the female students. The male students just smiled because I am certain they knew I was right. The hands had shot up immediately and I remember one girl in particular, who said,
“Well if you sleep around that makes you a slut and there is no justification to it!”
The professor had interdicted and said,
“The word slut is not politically correct but does that sleeping around make the man like her, a slut for lack of a better word?”
She stumbled but you could see she was uncertain with herself,
“I guess so but society judge’s women different to men so they can get away with it! Women can’t be seen to do what men do because we are different. We must keep loyal and faithful this way we won’t be called whore!”
She had said. This girl was at UCT, probably had many distinctions in her matric making her educated and yet she still thought as though she was born under a rock in some village in Lesotho. That’s how oppressed in the mind we are as women and why men get away with everything.
“So let’s put this scenario forward, if you sleep with a man who tells you he is married is that being sexually liberal? Or wait, since you are so liberal, does it count if your friend or colleagues man goes down on you is that being liberal? I changed it there so that there is no sex nor are they married but is that liberal enough to you!”
A girl called Sbucie asked. She was actually a friend of mine but those pesky friends with all the questions. A debate ensued but I won’t carry on. It’s a fine line I guess. That was once upon a time though! After that lecture I had turned my life around from such beliefs of empowerment and started criticizing the one truly happy and carefree person I knew… Miriam!
Fast forward to this moment, in my kitchen, with my legs around this man I really was being a slut not because I was having sex, be it only oral but because of the person I was having it with!
“Lungi stop it!”
A little voice in my head screamed. I could hear it clearly that voice but I kept shooting it down. The problem with being single is that you are actually often horny but because you are hardly ever put in situations where you could give it up, when it’s in front of you, take what you can and give nothing back.
“Azwindini no come on…stop please …it’s so…”
I protested half heartedly as I pulled him in closer with the leg around his neck. I was balancing on one leg and every time his tongue went deeper I found myself standing on my tepee toes. It felt so good and I did not want him to stop.
“You make too much noise!”
He said from down there when he finally pushed off me and stood up and led me to the couch! Why was I not telling him to stop as we walked there? I was scared he would stop when I needed it now more than ever! He was wearing jeans and he took them off on his own after I lay on the couch.
“Why are you lying down?”
He asked me! I was a bit surprised at that question.
I said looking for an answer,
“Stand over here and bend over! I am going to fuck you like the bad friend you are!”
He said putting me in the doggy style position. What he meant to say was he was going to fuck me like the bitch I was I am certain because was this not how I was behaving. Wanton is bad and I wanted it. I went and stood in position. I saw him take out a condom and when I tried to turn and see his manhood he turned my head and said,
“What do you want to see? Look that side like I told you!”
This guy had elements of being a sadomasochist Shem but I complied! I was ready already after that incredible muff. He came and stood behind me then I felt him penetrate me. He was slow in his entrance technique but I suddenly got alarmed when no matter how long he pushed it in it felt like there was still more! This guy was huge!
“Dude you going to hurt me!”
I protested as I felt as though I was full up.
“I won’t hurt you, I will be gentle I promise!”
He said and these were the first kind words he had said to me since we started this little tryst. He kept his word about being gentle thankfully because that thing was a weapon. Wow he was big! I had never ever had one this big before and ladies, size matters, stay away from big dicks!
In the last couple of weeks I had slept with two men. Before that it had been probably a year even since I last got laid. Had I finally broken my shackles! If so the timing was wrong because I wanted to get married and I needed a man who would not see me as loose for sleeping with him. Both Azwindini and Sfiso had women and I had done both of them knowing that they did. I should be ashamed of myself indeed because I don’t think I would want that happening to me.
He said. I could smell the breakfast he had made. I had slept right through him waking up and making it.
“You wake up early!”
I told him.
“I don’t have a choice. Rudzani called and she could not come. She booked me a flight to come to Cape Town so I am actually on my way to the airport now. I hope I will make it!”
He said with a smile on his face. Eish, the things we had done last night flashed right across my face and the sense of embarrassment just overwhelmed me.
“You are not going to…”
I was about to ask and he answered before I finished,
“I am not going to tell her, no! It was fun though!”
He said and just like that he stood up and he left. He just walked out making me feel like a booty call in my own house. At least he made breakfast I thought as I hid my head under my pillow like it would help justify what I did!
“Lungi you fucked up!”
I said to myself out loud. This should not have happened even though I had really needed to get some.
“Drinks tonight with Zama and I!”
The message read. It was from Nthabiseng but after what the drinks last night had led to I was not feeling it at all.
When I woke up the food was already cold. I warmed it up and I ate. Every surface I had touched last night with man was haunting me. I called Cindy and her phone was off. I tried her man and his phone was off too. I was very worried about her now. I thought it was best to just go to their house by force to check if she had been discharged. It was better than sitting at home speculating. Cindy was like family to me and I loved her to death. I bathed and got ready to go. Last night’s deeds were forgotten.
“Good afternoon neighbour!”
I said cheerfully to him. It was already after one and Ntheteng was with him. She ran to me and gave me a hug.
“How are you aunty Lungi?”
“Am good little one how are you?”
I greeted her back.
“I am good but dad is in a bad mood. I wonder what happened!”
She said and he responded,
“Ntheteng that’s enough. I am not in a bad mood I am just tired. How are you?”
He said to me. I could tell what she meant because he was that happy go lucky guy he was when he often spoke to me.
“Am good. What’s gotten you so sour that even Ntheti can see it?”
I asked him and she chirped in,
“Yes daddy, please invite Aunty Lungi to the movies tonight. She is bored like you that’s why she is always driving around!”
She said and I laughed.
“Ntheti I am not bored, I am a busy person!”
“Yes she is Ntheti; go inside now it’s a bit chilly!”
He told her,
“Not before you ask her dad!”
“Aunty Lungi do you want to go to a movie tonight?”
He asked me irritably and just to make the little girls day I said,
“OF course I would but will first have to check my schedule!”
I told her.
“See daddy that was not so hard, now you don’t have to check if her car is in its spot everyday!”
Talk about being exposed! She ran off to their place.
“Don’t mind her! You know kids; they talk out of turn if they are not raised right!”
He said clearly embarrassed and mocking himself.
“I saw your friend in the morning when he left! I was about to knock on your door!”
I asked him. It had slipped my mind but when it hit me I immediately said,
“No he is not my friend!”
And that came out terribly wrong.
“Oh ok, the stranger that came in with you last night and drove off this morning, that guy!”
“How do you see all these things though?”
I asked him.
“Simple, I was checking out my beautiful neighbour, meaning you, but when I realized men she does not even know sleep over, I stopped!”
He said sarcastically and he walked away to his flat!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I hope this finds u, the team and your readers well… your books are to me by far the best. Big up to u… u should consider adding me to your team, not only because im a good writer myself but so i can be ahead of every1 with chapters😅😅😅 I just can’t wait everyday for a new1..
I am a 28 year old based in jhb originally from the rural areas of Mpumalanga. My hubby and I moved to Jhb looking for Jobs. We fortunately found them, not fancy since we both didn’t study much.. After matric he did only drivers licence code 10 and started working as a driver while i worked at a retail shop. Oh we have two kids by the way and raising them has never been a problem.. We somehow felt it was time I went back to school and i enrolled at unisa while he upgraded his licence to 14. The problem now is he was retrenched 6months ago and he used that money to pay off my and our kids fees for the year.. he has since been trying to get a job with no luck. I won’t lie that paying all the bills doesn’t get to me but i don’t mind as i know he is a good man and takes good care of us when working.. I’m worried my man might be diagnosed with depression. He is always sad, indoors and doesn’t socialise anymore. If he is not out putting out cvs he is in bed. My daughter told me he found him crying last week and that really frustrated me cos i think he now feels less of a man, like he is failing us. After the retrenchment he had plans and knew that we will survive for at least 5months and was kind of sure he would be working again in 4months.. can any1 who knows of any1 help him pls.. our lives are not the same and im afraid i might lose him. He doesn’t even touch me anymore because he is afraid i might get pregnant..
Thank u guys in advance