“Who ever invented this thing called love did not love women! They sacrifice so much of themselves so often to only be treated like they are worth so little by the men they love!” Mike Maphoto
Losing a person is hard. You have shared so much time and space with them. You share memories, thoughts, events and so much more. When you lose such a person there is so much to be consoled on because we can all relate to such a loss. Having still born… Now that’s another story! I read somewhere that “the death of a baby is a violation of expectations!” I cannot begin to imagine what it is a mother would feel when she lost her baby. All the dreams, the expectations she must have had and all that time when she spent talking to the womb, I know this because that was Cindy. Cindy would even stories to her unborn baby. I remember once her mother telling her not to do so, it’s bad luck.
“Where are you, I am coming now?”
I said before she even responded. She was at a hospital in the East but she said she did not want to be seen right now. She just wanted to be with her man. She will tell me when she was ready. I understood where she was coming from but Cindy was not just a friend to me. She was like a sister as well. I did not know what to do. I drove straight home. There was definitely no celebrating tonight because I know how badly she had wanted this baby. They had struggled for a long time and had been to every doctor they could find to try and help them. It started to rain. I can’t believe it was raining. It was one of those flash showers so it probably was finishing soon but there was enough of it to make me run into the house. As soon as I entered my phone rang loudly. I need to change my ringtone! It was Rudzani! Of all the people today did it have to be her? I picked up regardless.
“Yes what do you want?”
I asked her.
“I wanted to apologize for what happened!”
She said. She was very calm when she spoke meaning she had been thinking about this for a while.
“It’s fine. Its water under the bridge. You got what you wanted right!’
“No I did not. Now they are moving me to Cape Town just so they can retain you and from what I heard, the little white girl is going to get my job. It’s like everything you warned me about is happening!”
She said. By little white girl she meant Nicolene. That’s what I called her when I was annoyed. How could she get that job she did not even have the experience?
“I am sorry to hear that! You gave them an opening to toy with us and look; they have separated us and left me with Buhle in the office!”
I said and she kind of chuckled,
“Guess you going to have to learn to speak Afrikaans with her!”
She said. See what I meant about Nobuhle, she was one of those black DA members who think other black people are dumb, carry an unnecessary cheap on their shoulder, are lazy and corrupt. When we first came we used to talk to her because well, she was black but with time we had learned from her that all blacks are Equal but other Blacks are more equal than others. She was the Other Blacks. Needless to say the white people at work loved her.
“Yeah I am going to have to make do with her! Good luck in Cape Town!”
I told her. I don’t know why I said that. I was not being spicy either,
“Eish I dread Cape Town. Yes you get paid but imagine waking in a place where you don’t feel free every day? I am going to start applying to come back immediately!”
The thing with Rudzani was that she did things by the book. She was not worldly enough to roll the dice and risk fighting the system. I am very certain she could have told management that her family is in the North so she could not move to Cape Town. You can’t be forced to move if you don’t want to! Cape Town is like another country altogether and who are we kidding, it’s far! When she hung up I felt a bit better about what had happened. Her flight was tonight as she had to go settle in for another conference that was happening there and they had asked for her to come early.
“I will call you when I can!”
Was the last thing she said? I fell asleep with a heavy heart as I could not get Cindy out of my mind. What she was going through was definitely not easy. I had to see her somehow. Its funny how I was not at work for only a few days yet when I came back I already had lots of work on my desk. I did not go straight to Susanna’s office even though I knew she had left. I went to my old office and looking around it actually felt empty without Rudzani. I am not saying I missed her but she had always been there if you know what I mean. I was used to saying hi to her even when she was moody and would try avoiding conversation.
Mr. Gold said when he popped in. Why was he checking on me? I was not about to be his new friend!
“Thank you sir!”
“Make sure that you try initiate contact with Mr. Tizora so that we can start wheeling and dealing!”
He said and then he left. The one thing I appreciated about this guy was how he got straight to the point. I knew why I was here! I was here to get them that contract. It’s like I was going to be judged on that. I called him.
“Hey Lungile I only have two minutes what’s up?”
He asked me.
“I wanted to talk to you about our deal!”
I said to him.
“I can’t talk right now, don’t forget we in Durban this week for the AIDS conference. Some of your senior bosses are here too!”
He said. I think by senior bosses he meant the Cape Town headquarters.
“When can we discuss this because we need to conclude before you run off?”
I asked him.
“As soon as I get back. I also don’t want to live things lingering for too long!”
He explained. Simba had this firm way of talking that was reassuring. He was a man’s man if that makes sense.
“Ok that’s fine so Monday morning?”
I asked him.
“No Monday is far! Saturday! I want to take you to play a game of golf then we can sign!”
He said laughed and hung up. Cry My Beloved South Africa, did he say golf! I went and gave Mr. Gold feedback and all he said was,
“Saturday it is, do not fuck this up!”
Yup, his words! I was sitting on a razors edge clearly. As I was walking back to my office I saw a beautiful man carrying flowers by reception. It’s a pity he was a messenger because he actually looked decent. You see when you are young, looks matter. You want to date the hottest guy but as you get older, looks don’t pay the bills and in fact even if he had a job, most good looking guys are fuck boy and would cheat on you with an envelope if they could! I laughed at that thought as I entered my office. I think I had sat at my desk for less than two minutes when there was a knock! It was the flower boy and goodness he even looked better close up!
Said the guy with flowers.
“Goodness they are beautiful, are they for me?”
I said with a big smile but I was actually just teasing. Who would send me flowers? Sfiso was too far, Simba was not my guy and oh well, there was no one else! I live a miserable life that’s for sure!
“They could be, but not today! Besides you look like the roses are cheesy kind of person!”
He said and I laughed. I was. Zulu girls raised right and flowers eish are like most women and soccer. In the right conversations we claim to like it but the reality is a bunch of grown chasing after a ball is plain stupid to me!
“Well roses are cheesy sir but I think it’s the thought that counts!”
I told him.
“I beg to differ actually, if you can find what the right flower is and the right scent, it’s almost like perfume, the right scented flower can do wonders to your senses!”
He said and I could see he was implying something naughty with a straight innocent face.
“My senses are just fine with all these chemicals I work with but humour me, which flower has the best scent! A scent which says to a girl on the first date, I like you, I really do, and am willing to wait!”
I asked him. I can’t believe I was talking flowers now! I hated the things. When I was a child I once got bit by a bee at my cousin’s house after I broke a stem on a bush that had a flower on it. I will never forget that incident.
“Goodness, I don’t know hey. It depends on the person really. When a guy meets a girl you first have to assess what she is like before you can even know what says I like you to her properly!”
He responded like an artful dodger. He had not answered my question though but I did not pursue.
“It seems like you work as a florist yet you seem over dressed to be one!”
I told him. He laughed and he said he actually did not just that he had an appreciation for them. This guy would make good friends with Nobuhle I thought to myself and I laughed out loud. It was actually rather rude.
He asked me.
“Nothing, I just remember a friend who also thought she like flowers and would try teaching me but I could never get it. I just saw her in you and suddenly missed her!”
I said and wow, how is that for thinking on your feet. I was obviously lying.
“So sir what can I do for you?”
I asked him.
“I am actually looking for my girlfriend. Well, I wanted to surprise her but I keep looking around and the surprise is going to be on me!”
“Who is your girlfriend?”
I asked him but somehow I already knew.
“Her name is Rudzani and you must be Lungile right?”
He said smiling.
I just stared at him like a fool. He did exist, I was wrong, he was here, and she was gone!
“Are you Azwindini?”
I asked him.
“Yes I am!”
Eish, since when do Venda men do flowers! Apartheid must come back!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
How are you and greetings to the other readers!
I am 23 and just got my first job. I have been dating the same guy since I was 17 and he is committed to me. He turns 30 this year. I love him and in school he helped me a lot. He also helped in getting a job and for that I will always be grateful. He has never hit me and we hardly ever argue. He is sweet and he is kind. My family met him a few times and they actually like him. My father sometimes asks about him. The problem is he is ready to settle and I am not. He proposed to me and I had to say yes because if a person has been there for you this much it’s hard to say no. I don’t want to get married at 23. I want to enjoy life a bit more. He is my first and the only man I have ever been with. I see my girls taking holidays and the like but I can’t because he says they get up to no good there. It’s like at 17 I found myself my father to replace my biological dad. I have discussed this with before and he says if I want to go on holiday I must go with him and nobody else. I want to find myself and with him I will never be able to do that. I love him but it’s not enough. I am so frustrated.
Please help to make a decision that won’t destroy everything.