Y.E.S 37

Posted on Posted in Young Employed and Single

“If you keep calling people who talk about you behind your back your friend, people who never seem to support you unless they need your help and people who every time you are in trouble are nowhere to be found then the problem is with you not them. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you and unless you walk away, they always will!” Mike Maphoto


She was not my enemy. There are so many things Rudzani was but she was not an evil person, of that am convinced of. She was just stupid and stupidity unfortunately is hard to get rid of. There was a time in my life when I would have called her a friend and that was what, four days ago? Her going to Cape Town would do nothing to aid her relationship with this mysterious man she loved so much! That much was certain! He simply never existed for her to call her own. I walked out of that office looking like a boss. At times when I thought of this man it felt as though he was married or something. Why would he never call her over to come and see her and what not? This was just dodgy you know.

“When can you come back because we want you in the office tomorrow?”

He asked me.

“Well I can come in but won’t that be awkward like I asked earlier. I would rather come on Monday when everyone has done their shifts!”

I told him.

“The only one that will be here is Susanna. Rudzani went home early today after we told her she was being moved. We did not force it on her as it’s a promotion. She is getting your job in Cape Town meaning more money as well as her own office. She will report to Susanna!”

He explained. I could now not say but Susanna was here as this would be overkill now but I think he noticed. He stopped me by saying,

“You need to thank Susanna because that woman fought for you like you were her own daughter! She even threatened to resign that’s when the company identified her as the perfect candidate for the Cape Town job. This little mess of yours caused a lot of problems that’s why things moved so fast but I am going to keep an eye on you as what happened here was wrong and you know it!”

He said. To say I was beyond stunned was a no brainer. Why would Susanna have fought for me so much? This woman had made my life hell for a long time so what was her end game. I don’t know why in my head conspiracy was written all over this.

“Madam Lawyer are you happy with what we are offering your client as we would like her to sign now!”

He asked Zama. She kept a stern face throughout all this so I was not sure if she had liked it.

“Its fine but we would like to read the contract first!”

She said.

“It is a standard contract, the same she was on except different responsibilities. We are not that company that would have time to have an underhanded contract that’s loaded. Please go to H.R. And see Nobuhle she will be expecting you!”

He said. He was actually not that all happy with me. I stood up and he stood up with his hand out stretched.

“Congratulation Miss Mbatha, do not disappoint our faith in you!”

He said and he sat back down as we walked out.

“What just happened?”

I asked Zama as we walked out.

“I don’t know but keep walking to H.R. Before they change their minds!”

She said. I wanted to burst out laughing but I did not because I did not want to draw attention to myself. It was awkward enough being here!

“Lungile I was expecting you!”

Nobuhle said when we walked in. Ah, had he called her to say we coming.

“Hi Buhle how are you?”

I said to her. I knew her but not that well. She was one of those ladies we said hi to. There were not many black people at the company but because she spoke fluent Afrikaans it kind of made her one of them. What kind of Zulu person speaks Afrikaans vele?

“Am good thanks. The contract is ready. You must be the lawyer Mr God mentioned. He says you can go through it and ask me any questions you might have!”

She said as she sat us down. Her phone rang and she said yes sir three times!

“Lungi, Mr Gold asked you to come to his office!”

Zama and I both stared at each other at once but I said,

“You can start on the contract whilst I go see what’s up?”

I won’t lie I felt like I had gotten this job through the back door so walking back to his office made me feel like he was going to break my heart. What did he want to see me about though?

“Come in!”

He said after I walked through his door. His PA was not at her desk meaning I had gone right through.

“Is something wrong?”

I asked nervously as I walked in.

“No, I think you forgot your phone that’s all!”

He said. Its true I had. It was where I sat on the desk.

“I didn’t even realize this, thank you!”

I told him. He was not an overly friendly man this guy. He hardly smiled.

“Sir I have a question”

I told him and he said I could ask.

“If I am getting Susanna’s post, Rudzani is leaving, who gets my old post and Susanna’s because I will obviously need support structures!”

I asked him.

“We will worry about that during the week!”

He said and put his nose back into whatever report he was going through. Again the nervous tension came back into me. I was being setup for failure here! All of a sudden it did not seem straight forward anymore.
As I walked out I was not sure what exactly was going on, yes I had gotten the promotion but everything was happening so fast, too fast!


Someone said from behind me as I headed towards H.R. It’s a voice I knew all too well.

“Hello Susanna!”

I said with a smile on my face. Often it was a fake smile but at this moment I was not sure what it was.

“Is everything sorted?”

She asked me.

“Yes. Thank you so much for the part you played!”

I said to her. I really was confused. How do you embrace your enemy really? How did Mandela do it? He didn’t practise the Madiba dance for 67 minutes in his 27 years of incarceration yet he was willing to forgive where I could not. This woman had given me hell and yet she was standing here with the hero status.

“Word of advice, I know you think I was harsh on you,”

Wow harsh is not the first word that came to me; I had cruel, mean, evil, witch and more but,

“I was not. You were and are my favourite but this company doesn’t treat women nicely especially if you are seen to be soft. Whoever is going to work for you, you must be firm and unfriendly unfortunately especially if it’s a woman. Trust me on this and you will go far!”

She said and she walked away. Funny enough what she said made sense in its own way. When I looked around, most of the women here were doing menial jobs to be honest. I had never thought of it like that even though I call myself a feminist when I am sober. I walked back to H.R. With her words ringing in my head. Was I being hoodwinked?

“That was fast!”

Zama said as I entered. I could see from the way she was looking into my eyes she wanted to know if everything was ok.

“Everything is fine. I left my phone on his desk and I bumped into my old boss imagine!”

I said to her. Buhle was still there so I could not say much. It took another ten minutes before Zama looked and said,

“Everything looks in order, there are no landmines and there indeed is a significant salary increase!”

She said with a huge grin. I looked at it and honestly I must scream right now but I was a professional. I signed and Nobuhle congratulated me.

“Let’s go, we still have things to do!”

Zama said as soon as we were done. We walked out and I asked her,

“What needs doing?”

She laughed,

“Oh nothing, I didn’t know what to say when we were leaving and I didn’t want her thinking you going home to do nothing!”

She said and we laughed. This girl was crazy. As the fresh air hit me in the parking lot it was my first moment to fully reflect on what had just happened. I had actually walked out better off than I was when they first fired me but still I felt sour. I am very big on us all rising together and that was hurting me because it was very certain that Rudzani is the one who would be screwed out of this. Zama on the other hand was so excited.

“Dude this weekend we are celebrating. Friday after work, drinks are on you! I will see if Nthabiseng will come too!”

I laughed and told her it was wishful thinking.

“Did you just call me dude?”

I asked her laughing.

“Who still uses that word?”

“I am old school I guess!”

She said also laughing.

“The weekend is too far shem! Its only two, I want to go have a drink and I don’t want to have it at my house! I want a nice fancy place where they can see us black girls doing it for themselves!”

I said.

“Girl power!”

She said and we actually high fived me. This girl was cool.

“It’s a pity I have to go to work so enjoy and don’t drink too much otherwise I would be coming to bail you out again!”

She said. With that we hugged and she drove off. Don’t ask me why but women just liking hugging. I used to find it uncomfortable but now am so used to it.

I got into my car and started to drive. Melrose Arch was my first choice whenever I needed to celebrate. As soon as I got out of my work complex I screamed with joy. I was so happy. I was playing music when my phone rang. As it was connected on the car it rang the whole car, it was Cindy!

“Hey Cindy my bestie!”

I said cheerfully.

“Best day ever!”

I told her before she could even respond.


She said on the side,

“Yes Madam!”

I responded!

“I lost my baby!”

She said. I didn’t get that.

“I don’t understand, what do you mean?”

I asked!

“I lost the baby! This morning! I lost my baby!”

She cried!

All the excitement, the joy…. Gone!

*******The End*******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Thank you for reading and posting my letter.

I am a married man. My wife does not work and we have two children together. The problem is that my wife’s family is so involved in our marriage. They tell her what to do and when to do it. Now she wants a third child because he grandmother said two kids are not enough. I don’t have the money for a third child and I have told her this. She has stopped talking to me and has stopped eating imagine! Of all the luck in the world honestly why did this have to me! Who has a wife who goes on hunger strike? My misfortune came in that I work on a mine that happens to be in the same town with where her family is from. I met her when I got a job here. It means she has access to them every day and they have access to her. We never have enough money because her relatives are always at my house! I have complained and have even gone to the extent of calling a family meeting. They called me stingy and unreasonable and still came! I am not a harsh man but I can’t live like this. I am on the verge of telling her that if she thinks her family is better than me then she must go back to them! She won’t die of hunger in our house, a hunger she forced upon herself and she is already destroying my family. After work I don’t even want to go home because the house is always full of her people. I love my wife, I really do but I can’t do this anymore!

Please help me with solutions.

Thank You

Marula Platinum

30 thoughts on “Y.E.S 37

  1. When I grow up I want to be like Lungi. Dear Marula, your wife needs to work. a new child in this economy isnt cheap, otherwise send her back home but ummm from the sound of her family, they are demanding and unreasonable and because you work in a mine, you must spoil them all. Good luck.

  2. I think my life is slowly turning into Y.E.S.. lol.. thanks for the awesome read

    Dear Marula Platinum
    Your wife bathong! I for the life of me will never understand women who cannot balance their households, especially housewives.. I know a woman that left her well-paying job to be housewife and my goodness, her household runs like a well-oiled machine. She controls the finances and makes sure everything is above board. A woman that allows people to influence her marital and household affairs is definitely not a homemaker. She does not have the discipline. I honestly cant think of a solution for you.. hunger strike even? food is so good bathong i would never do that to myself lol.. You’ve tried communicating your frustrations to her and it has not worked, perhaps you need to try some extreme measures.. dont ask me what though, because I’m honestly clueless.. your wife is special.

    Ya ne.. we really put ourselves through the most when we love people.. Good luck sir, I pray your wife sees the light.

  3. Thanks Mikeesto, poor Cindy 🙁 That just killed the entire high ya Lungi….. Awesome dose buddy!

    “Who has a wife who goes on hunger strike?” Funny guy 🙂 My dude I don’t know what mentality this is that having lots of children makes a family, that ish creates poverty and it makes life way way too difficult to manage. Put your foot down my bru, wie dra die broek? That wife of yours needs to know her place, and family e that continues to meddle in your business needs to be put in place. You must ban them from your home brother man.

    Imagine coming home from work tired as hell coz of rock drilling to find a bunch of family members you dont even like much…. I’m surprised you don’t have a makhwapheni already ntate. Your wife needs to know nappies and formula is kak expensive, already amazambane are costing a fortune….. She needs to chill or accelerate her hunger strike qha, wena look for a step mom in the meantime so that when she dies of hunger, the other one can step in and take care of your kids.



  4. Marula Platinum:
    “Hunger strike” – There is no such. She eats during the day when you are at work. It is a strategy to force you into things that you don’t agree with. It is unfortunate that you are both on a different level of thinking. She does not put her immediate family first (which is yourself and kids). She allows her side of the family to interfere. I would apply this rule – my money, my house, therefore my rules. Show her family members the door and tell wifey that you love her to bits, but if she wants to go with her family she is free to do so. Remind her that when you got married you vowed to love and honour each other, but that is not happening. She is loving and honouring her family members. You can also consider going for marriage counselling…

  5. Nothing is as charming like a man with authority! show them who the man of the house is(I say them coz it seems like you are married to her whole family), show them the door and tell her to follow them! Be firm! tell her to come back when she decides to be your wife! skatlo dlalwa ke bo mahlalela! She goes on a hunger strike?! hehehe! dijo dile monate so.

  6. Thanks for the letter marula.if ur wife wants another child tell her to go find a job first so she can finance the child.as for ur in-laws I think sebara fee must just stop u can’t support them anymore since it’s causing u marital problems nd if ur wife doesn’t see this it’s time to move on with ur life with ur kids.

  7. LOL… at comments

    Honestly I think your wife is being a complete child, hunger strike? What is she going to teach the children, ai man. You sound like a sweet man, and that is all good and well, but what you need to be here is firm. With your wife and your in laws. This woman is showing that she lacks management and reasoning skills and I am sorry but such a wife will destroy anything you try to build. Draw boundaries and make them be respected even if they call you names, You need to control this situation, and I say this being a feminist well aware of how most comments here, mine included, can be misinterpreted but I feel the women is not mature enough to come to reason on her own so she needs to be pushed to it, not physically neh. If you go to church, speak to the Pastor, if not try marriage counselling, it would be free through the EAP services at your work. a neutral person will give you a chance to state your case and provide your wife the opportunity to do the same and hopefully you will reach a mutual understanding and not you giving in just to stop the so called hunger strike, (who does that really though). I think your wife needs a job, even if its part time, she is bored and she thinks making babies is entertainment but it will have negative long term effects on your marriage. I can only wish you the best, and i hope other people learn from your experience and chose mature spouses, it makes or destroys a person this choice.

  8. You need stay firm to what you believe and boot them out of your house those ungrateful relatives of hers. Just go to your bedroom straight even don’t greet them.

  9. I feel sorry for Cindy,thanks bhuti Mike, Jackzorry has a point just imagine mazambane are soo expensive,what abt formula and pampers? At platinum give your wife an ultimatum,is either you and your kids or her family,phela u married her not family yohle bathong.it seems like she cannot think for herself ke matheetsabohle o palelwa le ko go bona mabaka.as for hunger strike she is being dramatic nje,let her starve herself o tlaba strong

  10. im with you Sogi, usile lo mama uyadla nje uma uhubby esemsebenzin mcm, indlala le aydlal kzolokh kukhal ithumb ukudla kukhona weeeeeee

  11. thank you bra Mike for the dose.

    #PlatinumMiner… you lady needs to get a job or go to school to increase the family income and nit reduce it,wena you want to provide and increase ene o a fantisa and o batla go tsisa tlala mo lapeng ka bana ba bantsi le extended family? nnyaa she must find a job and then feed her family thats so important to her, then maybe you can have another child.
    mare honestly sit her down and do budgets le ene ya the next 5yrs alone for the 2kids you have now(plus her family) to make her see reality. also what will happen to her if God forbid anything happens to you? how will she take care of 2/3kids and her family? boswa/inheritance will not last with the greedy family ya gagwe.

  12. I might be too late but I hope Mr Platinum sees my bit. Bhuti this is time to put out the firee with another fire. Step 1. Fetch a few members from your side of the family. Bazohlala nje a few weeks. If she says they must go tell her nabakowabo mabahambe. step 2. Take control of the household, manage it and run things. but add a twist. Whenever you make a decision, tell her that your mother said so. Do this with minor things like buying grocceries, painting the house, rearranging the furniture. That’s her turf it’ll piss her off. Then she will realise that she is doing the same to you.
    Step 3. Get a temporary vasectomy clip. Methinks umama lo is trying to sell you a jacket! LOL uzama ukukubambisa ibatyi.

    Life is expensive I agree with Jackzorro kunzima nothenga amazambane!

  13. Her family will never respect u or ur hosehold, she has already given them the right to disrespect u more. So before leaving if u decide to leave, I suggest u go to a social worker concerning ur kids coz that woman n her family will use them to milk u dry through maintenance…so make sure u have ur kids with u when she leaves

  14. Thanks Mike

    Dude u need to speak to the grandma baba that is ur last hope.She really must get a job cause it’s real out here.😁 the comments…

  15. Ta abuti Mike, nice read hey.
    Marula Platinum, usejayivhini. U alone vs family. Bring one if yo own family to stay with U then wait & C what she says.
    Be even more stingy, have a tight budget, she can feed her family with her allowance. The hunger strike shows immaturity. She can’t deal with problems as an adult. Some women even withhold sex, so sad.
    Let her go on with her strike, stand yo ground as the man in the house. There must be at least one person who is on yo side at her family. Make him understand yo situation. I always encourage ppl to “buy” friendship with at least on person from yo potential other for rainy days like this.
    Gudluck my man ngoba ide lendaba. Qina!

  16. I agree with chezz, ur wife is not matured enough shame! kumanje u have 3 children when we include her courz naye she’s ur full responsibility. don’t forget to fetch ur members of ur family blv me she will complain about it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *