Y.E.S 34

Posted on Posted in Young Employed and Single

“Cut out unnecessary people in your life because often they are the reason why you are not progressing. They become a liability as you become like them often being unproductive, unimaginative and narrow minded in what you can achieve n life!” Mike Maphoto


When you are single and your friend gets married you have to readjust how you treat that friend and her marriage. Its a very important thing to learn. Once upon a time when she was just dating yet another loser you could budge in and protect her from her douchebag of a boyfriend. That same rule does not apply to her douchebag of a husband. He can even beat her up and you will be seen as interfering if you protect her the same way you have always protected her or each other. That’s why I hate this thing called a ring, everything changes in a heartbeat and I mean everything. That metal ring seems to say that she must protect herself now and cannot go back to her parents home when she wants. We see it on Our Perfect Wedding how we are told that the woman now “BELONGS” to the groom’s family and that word eish; you are now owned by strangers? People take it to heart. How was I ever going to marry mara if I had all these reservations? I really had cause to worry for my future.

“What’s wrong?”

My sister asked.

“What’s wrong with what?”

“Dude come on, that call disturbed you so much and you were talking to Mam’Dolly!”

She said.

“She thinks I want to break up Miriam and her husband because I want that wife beating man!”

I said so disappointed. You know what hurt the most, in all my years I have always been a friend to Miriam, through her bitching ways and all. I have never let her down. I have watched her hop from bed to bed and sometimes when she was abandoned I was the one who picked her from the floor and patched her up together again. For her mother to then think I could backstab her like this it really cut deep.

“Come on now, I am sure she did not mean it like that! That woman you know says the first thing that comes to her mind even if it’s totally off base!”

She reminded me. It was true but that did not make it right at all.

“Do you know what Socrates said about marriage, ‘if you get a good wife by all means marry her and you will be happy, get a bad one, you will become a philosopher’ but he never said anything about a man. I say If you get a good man, marry but you can never be confident that he will stay yours no matter what you do because everyone else who has a bad one will come at him full force, and if you have a bad man you will always be in tears regardless!”

I said and my sister stared at me blankly. I don’t know why I said that. It was irrelevant but somehow made so much sense to me. I was venting. It seems as though I had so much to say whenever I was angry.

“Come now Lungi you know what Mam’Dolly is like. She is always pitting the two of you against each other so obviously she would see you as a threat especially at a moment like this!”

She reminded me yet again. I had heard her the first time but oh well she is my sister she was trying to make me feel better.

“That’s not the problem; you know what she is like! By tomorrow morning everyone will know and my reputation will be ruined!”

I explained and it was when my sister replied with an,


That she realised the full implications of that phone call. When it comes to gossip that woman was a force of nature! She was a legend on our street and can put shwashwi to shame. She knew everything about everyone and had no scruples either. That’s one of the reasons why the wedding was so full in the first place! No one in the street would have dared not to come because that woman could keep a grudge and would use it in future.

“I am going to bed!”

I told her.

“Ah dude come on. I came here for you and you want to sleep so early!”

She said. It was not easy being me today. I was emotionally down.

“I know you did but am emotionally tired. I don’t want to have a panic attack. I want to sleep so that tomorrow when I wake up I can’t make a strategy!”

I told her.

“I really hope you were joking about quitting your job though. I still think you have a lot to offer!”

She told me but I really was considering this hey. Being fired is not nice at all and it also goes on your record. If I move on and go on my own terms then that won’t be on my record.

“I won’t quit don’t worry but I think I really have to weigh my options. I have a good settlement if I live of which I can actually open a functional business!”

I told her. I was not lying either. I had a very good job and I had savings. I could get rid of the Audi and get a smaller car. The last thing I wanted was moving back home obviously but I had the comfort of knowing if push came to shove I could. If I didn’t quit I was loan worthy meaning I could get a loan to open a business and build it whilst I was working. It was certain I could not stay at this company forever.

“You know what I said about business though! It’s not wise!”

She reminded me. This is why I did not want to discuss my future plans with her. My sister was always negative. She would never say go for it. It was not in her nature to take risks. I was young and different. I wanted more with my life.

“Let’s change topics. Are you and hubby fine?”

I asked her.

“Do we really have to go there?”

She asked me. That could be taken in two respects, she was avoiding it because of what happened the other day or she was avoiding it because there really was something deeper going on. I had not thought of it. My sister had wanted to come to my house the moment my mother told her. I never asked for her to come sleep over and it’s not that I am being ungrateful, it was not making sense.

“What time is he picking you up?”

I asked her.

“Why does it sound as though you are chasing me out?”

She asked me defensively.

“I am not. It’s just odd that you have not spoken about him the whole evening. You always do!”

I told her. It was making her uncomfortable thought talking about it so I changed the topic.

“Never mind, let’s sleep, we have tomorrow. Are you off?”

I asked her. She said she was not but it was clear she was not eager to talk anymore. I went to bed immediately. If I thought that with all that had happened I would not be able to sleep I was mistaken I passed out immediately. My clock seemed to know I was suspended too because my alarm did not go off. I woke at ten the following morning. My sister was gone and the sweet soul had made me breakfast. It was already cold now obviously. I brushed my teeth and took a shower. I really didn’t want to have a long hot bath, not today. I ate the breakfast and as soon as I was done I sat down to watch TV and guess what, Leon Schuster! Really?

I was bored in ten minutes! Fuck, if this was unemployment I hated it already! How do people survive sitting on their asses really? Maybe I should take a walk around our estate. It was not the biggest but considering the lateness of the hour I could not necessarily go out for a jog. Too many cars, too much noise and too many criminals! In Jhb it’s a dangerous thing leaving your gate so you always have to be careful. I putting on my jogging shoes and was already wearing leggings. It was actually warm so I walked out with a smile on face. I walked very slowly listening to music on my phone. There really was not much to see but it was better than watching Leon Schuster on TV. The man is racist, belittles blacks in jokes but we, the blacks that love him so much, don’t even see it! Sigh! Disgusted with us really. I don’t baby DSTV to watch blackface Shem!

“Good morning!”

Said a voice that at first sounded far as I was listening to music. I looked up and saw the guy I had met in the shop yesterday, crap, I had forgotten his name.

“Morning neighbour!”

I said taking out my earphones. Yesterday if I recall he had said he was making dinner for the lady in his life.

“How was the dinner?”

I asked him? Why was he not at work? See what I said about these muscled dudes, half of them are unemployed that’s why they have time to go build those muscles.

“It ended up a disaster!”

He said with a regretful shake of the head.

“How so?”

I asked him.

“Something did not quite sit with her hence why am washing the car. She left the dinner on my car seat in the morning!”

She said. I did not get it at first and he noticed it too.

“She threw up!”

He clarified! Eeuw!


I said to him immediately putting my hand to my mouth more out of reflex! He laughed and said,

“That’s what happens with people you love! Things will not always go smoothly!”

He said. I wanted to get out of here though.

“Oh well good luck with all that. Your wife must be one lucky woman for you to clean up after her!”

I told him. He was sweet but ah nah FAM can’t be doing that.

“My wife?”

He asked then laughed.

“Before you go I need you to help me with something with my wife, it’s a lady thing I can’t do. Will take you two seconds I promise!”

He said.

“I would rather not. It will be very awkward in deed. No woman wants a strange woman in their presence with their hubby!”

I said to him but he insisted,

“Be neighbourly unless you want to take yet another walk in these two streets of hours!”

He said lifting his bucket and walked ahead of me. He was a confident man and knew I would follow. Guess I was curious and had nothing better to do. My phone rang and it was Susanna.

“A disciplinary hearing has been scheduled for the end of the week. You can bring a lawyer if you want.”

She told me.

“Why do I need a lawyer?”

I asked her.

“Just bring one. Someone must be there to protect you from yourself!”

She said and with that she hung up. This was happening!

Problem with a lawyer is that often it made you look guilty and the problem with being educated is that you think you have answers to it all….

Decisions decisions!

“Your wife doesn’t happen to be a lawyer by any chance?”

I asked him and laughed!

“She is very argumentative that one I am sure she is!”

He said! I like things ka nnete! Where was I going? I walked into his apartment and he shouted,

“Baby I am back and I brought a friend of mine!”

He shouted.

Ok this was a bad idea! I was going to get my ass whipped!

I heard the wife move from one of the rooms and the door and out she came out.

“Hello my name is Ntheteng!”

She side talking to me. It was a five year old girl in half her school uniform.

I hate kids… Or do I!

I found myself laughing at how he had tricked me!

*****The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike & My fellow readers

Please post this on Y.E.S or Blessed

First & foremost thank you for the platform.

Okay where do I start? Right I’m 23 years of age, I’m from a middle-class family (Financially I always had what I needed or wanted). My dad passed away when I was 13 & he was a great dad & ever since then my mom has been taking care of us. So right in high school I was so inlove with one of my teachers, the age gap was like 8 years (so he wasn’t that old) but nothing really happened between us, he respected his job that much or maybe he was just not into me regardless we were friends & guys I really had it bad for him (now that I look back I’m so embarrassed). Anywho in varsity I only had one boyfriend round about my age, he really broke my heart & for the rest of my varsity life I chose to remain single cos I just couldn’t love anyone okay fast forward to this year, I finally decided to give this other guy I have known for like 2 years a chance since he has been nagging me & has been patient. Honestly I don’t love him I just said yes cos I felt sorry for him plus I had been single for a while anyway I started working this year & now I think I’m developing something for my manager, I’m really starting to like him & I’m pretty sure he’s like 20+ years older than me ( I don’t like him cos I want a blesser or something of that sort,as I said my mom has always provided) so I don’t know, do I have daddy issues? First in was the teacher & now my manager & why can’t I love someone my own age like my current boyfriend (eish & the poor guy is trying)… so how do I stop liking my manager? what’s wrong with me?


Thank You in advance

10 thoughts on “Y.E.S 34

  1. QnA You love who you want to love. Being attracted to older men is something society shames you on but I think they are wrong. We all like different things in people and for you if old and flabby does it for you no one should judge you. The men you like I hope are not married because that’s where the problem would lie as it creates a domino effect. Put your boyfriend out of his misery please ok because you are being selfish and cruel

  2. Thanks Mikeesto, great start to the week 🙂

    Ashamed, you’ve acknowledged that you might have issues, I think that is the critical part in this. You need to initiate dealing with the identified problem. Just a side note, don’t be accepting people’s advances because you feel sorry for them, that is cruel and it never ends well. You don’t love the guy so you need to let him go, for his sake.

    Now the daddy issues, you need to see someone, a professional, that’s if you believe in that type of tea. If not, pull yourself towards yourself and realize that no man, no matter how old, is ever going to be your father or replace your father. You were given 13 amazing years with him, let him go knowing he is in a better place and you will see him again one day. You also need to ask yourself if daddy dearest would be proud of his little princess busy with some dude 20+ years older than her. It’s all within your control missy, don’t be ashamed though, these things happen to the best of us. Salvage the situation and take proper care of yourself, you will find the right man for you, or he will find you. Manager dude is proly not it, and the dude you feeling pity for doesn’t deserve all this fakeness.

    Best Wishes


  3. tnx mike for da dose

    @Ashamed its nt wise to date at wrk especially ur boss or whateva…seeing dt hez way older dan u he myt be married,i say jst put dose feelings sumwhr @ da bck of ur head cos u guranteed to get hurt

  4. Mphoza i noticed that too but maybe its a second car??

    Daddy issues, i only got to know my dad when i was 20 (now 23) and even then i felt no connection to him, i have the same problem…i’m attracted to older man, i dont deny that its daddy issues bt u got to have a father for a good 13 years you have no idea how lucky you are. Talk to somebody about this, nd see it helps? All the best to u

  5. That was so predictable hey, the lady turning out to be a child. I love it, thank you Mike.m Is it me or do single people see everyone they meet as a potential, everyone within their “taste” I mean? Coz i feel like Lungi might now view this neighbour as a potential….

    1. Its not you hey every single woman sees a guy as a potential especially when he’s at a level that you wish for like first where he lives how he dressses and what he drives women look for certain things in a guy and if it represent itself surely ull think “potential” without even considering that he might even be married

  6. Your dad’s death hit you so hard but you locked away that pain and u slowly venting it out on having crushes on older men sooo that’s seem like daddy issues to me u want someone to love you like a dad u do not want a boyfriend in those older men seek professional help dear deal with the demons lay them to rest

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