Blessed Chapter Twenty

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You know there is a certain thrill you get when you do something that you are not supposed to be doing. It always comes you can’t avoid it. There is that thing of not getting caught that makes you feel a mixture of guilt and excitement. That was me at that moment. I should not be going here! Imagine this was an HIV Conference where they were most likely talking about men like Sam who sleep with young women. He was a guest there and here he was bringing his makhwapeni. It’s like those that make the rules for everyone else don’t care as long as they get what they want. I should be ashamed too because in spite of all the warnings given about this, I actually did not care. Someone really should give a medal to the person who invented condoms. In fact a street in heaven or hell must be named after him. Heaven in that he had saved so many lives by preventing HIV and Hell because all the children he had effectively killed by not allowing the sperm to leave that rubber enclosure! Yah neh, no wonder why the Catholic Church is anti condoms, they are genocide on their own! On a serious tip isn’t it ironic that the men who say they are anti blessers because now they are in power were most likely blessers themselves. Julius, Floyd for example… Are you telling me they have never been blessers? Come on now and that includes all those ANC chaps in power who try act like saints on the topic! They are exactly like Sam!

The trip was actually quite pleasant to be honest. I was looking forward to Durban. Durban is the one person that South Africans go to sin no wonder why that place has so many churches. Everyone knows that when you go to Durban and you are not from there, you want to have fun. The irony is, they don’t even have that many clubs and who is fooling who, there is nothing fun about going to the beach except that you are allowed to be semi naked in public! I wonder if I will get money to go shopping. That would be nice. Yeah Gateway might be big but they did not have that many nice clothes but shopping is shopping.

“Which hotel is he saying?”

I asked the driver.

“He is at the Radisson Blu hotel that’s where the ICC is. It’s the prime hotel in Durban for such events meaning that he must be a very powerful person!”

He explained. When people have money and power you find that most people who meet them for the first time are awed by it. I think I had reacted differently to it when he first presented it to me one night at dinner.

“I am not really into fancy restaurants. I know it makes me sound backward but I have a healthy appetite. Most girls who are on diets are so unhappy!”

I told him.

“I know but the best restaurants also serve the best cuts of everything. That justifies the cost of the plate. You just need to upgrade your pallet that’s all!”

He said and he laughed. Firstly I have no idea what a pallet was and secondly a cow is a cow, unless the meat is old and stale, it tastes the same!

“I suppose you are also going to ask me to lose weight then because of my appetite?”

I asked him now curious about these eating habits.

“Funny enough no, I would never ask of that. You are not skinny yes but I can’t call you big. I am older so obviously my tastes are a bit more open. I can’t understand why a man would want a thin girl at my age; clearly it should remind them of their own children!”

He said shaking his head and it was my turn to laugh. He was implying that daughters of men his age are skinny so if he dated one it would be like dating his.

“I have never asked, do you have kids or is it a no go area?”

I asked him. He paused a bit before he said,

“It should be a no go area but I will tell you. I have 3 kids, the last one being a year older than you!”

He said taking a bite out of his asparagus! You better bite that asparagus you shameless man to not see what was wrong with this picture but when you are blinded by money and power who cares!

“Oh that’s nice. I want to have kids some day but not now! For now I want to be young and to study!”

I told him.

“That’s good!”

He responded. I am sure he had heard this statement a lot of times for all the little girls he had dated. I could not help wonder how many had come before me and even worse, how many we were right now!

“I know I might have asked before and I don’t want you to think I am insecure or anything but am I the only one in your life right now, on the side I mean!”

I asked him cautiously and toying with this disgusting food. I was not enjoying my meal. Some of these sources were not mixed with black people in favour! He laughed and responded,

“You really are! I can’t multi task. I have dated two girls at the same time before and it didn’t end well. I don’t like that game!”

He said. He was being very pleasant and kind. At times older men don’t want you to ask them too many questions because well, you come across as annoying.

“What happened?”

I asked him laughing too,

“They became too expensive?”

I asked him in what was actually a rhetorical question but he chose to answer,

“I am the CEO of a major listed company, I take home over 250k a month after tax, trust me, I could afford them. It was that they demanded too much time which I could not give. With you it’s different, you know when to call and that’s perfect!”

I really didn’t care about all else he had said but had this man just said he was taking home two hundred and fifty thousand a month? What the hell was he doing here with me then? I thank God he did not have instagram because I would have been replaced a long time ago.

“Yes he is powerful but he does not like showing it. He is very humble!”

I told the driver in response. It’s actually funny now that I think of it, if a man is a blesser he would never actively show it. He won’t be in your face for the world to see that he is a blesser. He will be more underground than anything. It’s the ones with no money that post pictures of their cars and houses on Instagram to try and sell the image. Real rich people you won’t even know that they are that rich.

“Eish sister, my I please have your email address so I can forward you my CV. I have BTech in Civil Engineering and I can’t get a job. I was about to go stand on a street corner before I got this job as a driver for this conference!”

He asked turning around.

“What must I do with it?”

I asked him but it actually came out wrong. I was trying to say something else but oh well; I had only managed to sound proud and arrogant.

“Please give it to him. Please! Even if he eventually says no the fact is you have tried to help another child of Gods!”

If that last part was meant to be emotional blackmail it had worked. I gave him my email address as though I had any power at all to influence his hiring policies.

“He gave me his room card and he said that he will most likely only come there in the evening so you should wait for him!”

I think it was the way I was dressed that made him not put two and two together that this man was not my father as he had thought.

“I will help you with your bags!”

He said as he parked in parking. I was hungry. I had not eaten and was looking forward to raiding room service. There were so many people here! They all looked busy and the security was tight. I didn’t have to do much talking though as my driver knew his way around. His room was big; I love this hotel Shem even though it was my first time here. You know an expensive place when you walk in and this was expensive. Finally I was here, alone and I fell on his bed. It was already made. I took out my phone. I don’t know how I had done it but my phone was off. The battery was not flat it just switched off. I switched it on as we passed the off ramp to the airport. We were now like 10 km away from Gateway.

“Dude I have been trying to get hold of you? Why has your phone been off?”

She asked me angrily.

“Calm down, I am here now! What’s up?”

I told her, why was she being dramatic.

“Your dad called looking for you! He says to call him back because your mom is on the warpath!”

She explained.

“Did he say what she wanted?”

I asked her.

“No he didn’t but I suggest you call to calm her down! It’s not worth the fight and you must pick your fights well!”

She advised. It was kind of funny coming from the person who never picked her fights and went full force always.

“Hi Mom!”

I said when she picked up!

“So wena you think you can do whatever you want?”

She asked me angrily.

“What have I done now?”

I asked her,

“How is wrong for me to come support my friend who is burying her own family?”

I asked her calmly. I did not want to turn this into a shouting match because with those, with my mother you never win.

“I told you to come back!”

She said angrily,

“I know you did but you didn’t tell me how you expected that to end. I am in the middle of nowhere, in a close knit family; must I now go to her parents and demand that they take me back to Joburg?”

I asked her.

“I don’t care!”

She shouted.

“Mum I am good child, I do everything you want when you want, I never talk back or anything, please don’t do this!”

I pleaded with her. This was me fighting back.

“Yes you do until now! Why now? This is why I don’t believe you are where you say you are?”

She said.

“Really mum! I would lie about a funeral, at my age?”

I asked a bit annoyed at her lack of trust.

“Ok then. I want you to take a picture of you and Khanyi. Tie your hair up in the picture! I want the picture in the next hour then I will leave you alone!

With that she hung up! I found myself laughing!

Yah neh!

*****The End******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

I am 22 and my boyfriend is 27.we have been together for two years. Let’s call him J. When we met I was in a relationship with someone else. And I left them to be with J. two months down the line I cheated on J with my ex. Something I regret very much. I ended up confessing and he forgave me. My problem is now he just does not trust me at all. He is so controlling, he wants to read my text and goes through all my social feeds, messages, pictures and everything. I have tried talking to him about it and things changed for a while. When we started he had a friend that was so crazy about him and now he is cheating on me with her. He does not know that I know. I am allowed to go in his phone so I found their flirty conversations. He now takes his clothes to this girl to wash for him, cook for him and spend a lot of time together. I usually do his laundry and I am not complaining but last weekend I went to his house and found his laundry done. I know my boyfriend he is so lazy. Someone must have washed and ironed for him. I confronted him and he did not deny who did. He told me she offered and he knew I had a lot on my plate. I did not even know he went to see her. Yet I cannot even go out with my girlfriends without explaining myself and giving a fixed time when I will be back. I feel disrespected. The thing is Mike I feel like I deserve to be cheated on since I also cheated. I really love this guy and I am so hurt I don’t know how to confront him coz he might just walk away.
Another issue is that we have been fighting like crazy. we can decide to go out and by the cinema counter we be fighting about what movie to watch, eventually we will end up driving back home and fighting, we do not get along anymore. We fight about almost everything and he cannot compromise. He is too proud and very stubborn I can’t handle it anymore. He is also too short tempered, shouts
At me like a little child and sometimes insults me. Am I fighting a lost battle? Has he fallen out of love with me? Or is this his way of pushing me away just so I be the one who walked away. Sorry for the long read.



35 thoughts on “Blessed Chapter Twenty

  1. Am i the only person who learnt from the missteps of a young wife that you never admit cheating to your man, you deny and deny even if caught red-handed.

    Anyways if i were you I’d do me a favour and get out of that relationship. Maybe kuba andikwazi kucenga and i dont get easily attached to guys as they nothing but trouble. And remember to uphold your 7 Bz (Books before boys because boys bring babies)

  2. Thank you Bhut Mike 🙂 Eish Khanyi has gotten herself in a rather sticky mess….

    Gia : First I want you to do this for me…. Go to a mirror every morning…. Say this : I am bright, I am beautiful and I am brave and I love myself…. Do this every morning before you go to work or school, and at night before you sleep….

    This will, hopefully boost up your self esteem and make you realise that you do not deserver such nonsense…You will be bright enough to see the light …Beautiful enough to know your worth… Brave enough to walk away and Love yourself enough to not allow this man to treat you this way….

    I am sensing a tad of abusiveness in this man of yours who “claims” love you…why is he insulting you???? I’m sorry but I have a problem with people who talk down on their partners all in the name of anger!!!

    People treat you how you allow them to… Dont let this get out of hand..


  3. Dear Gia
    This guy doesn’t love you anymore he is just waiting for you to walk away , him shouting at you , is a sign that you annoy him
    Do your self a favour and leave him , don’t make your heart a dustbin.
    I don’t get it with Girls giving boyfriends the benefit of a Husband , by doing their Laundry , Cleaning for them and cooking then you expect the Guy to marry you he won’t coz he is already getting the benefit Free of Charge .

    1. I dont understand this either.. an ex of mine once got so mad at me for not jumping at the opportunity to clean his house.. told him to go find a woman that will do that for him because there is no ways I’m cleaning a house that is not mine and doing laundry of a man who’s not tripping over himself to make me his wife.. he even insisted I must have a helper because i would arrive at his place with clean and ironed laundry.. he thought i was hopeless with domestic duties all coz I didnt perform them at his! he even got mad that i never brought him any food when i had cooked.. like no ladies.. lets not do that maaaan! these women are making these men complacent

  4. QnA Rule Number One of cheating… never ever confess even if you life depended upon it. Come on now He is not your pastor who you have to get things off your chest to. Why must he now suffer the pain of knowing that he was not enough for you when you are the one on the wrong? If you are feeling guilty then suffer alone don’t punish another persons child’s for it. Of course he will never trust you again, you can’t even trust yourself. You are selfish in that you expect things to be perfect but trust once broken is hardly ever recovered. So you think if he cheats too you are even? How old are you again? This is not a game, a relationship is not about getting even. You need to sit with him again and ask him what next because this is not how it’s supposed to be!

  5. Gia.. confess so that what must to can happen? lol

    leave that guy.. cheating is one thing, but once respect has left a relationship, its a lost battle shem. Part of him may love you, but I believe he is no longer emotionally invested. I put up with being treated like that for months one time and when i decided to leave, the dude didnt even flinch, confirming what i already knew.. his heart was no longer mine..

    I say leave.. there is nothing left to fight for there. Its gonna be hard and you will probably stay to prove people wrong but trust me; one day you’re gonna wake up and feel nothing for that dude and you will be very uncomfortable.. Respect is so important in a relationship and this dude is blatantly cheating on you..lawdt..

    and stop doing boyfriends’ laundry maaaan layries! wtf is this new trend vele???

    1. Hahahahaha yhuuuuu T-girl… irkes me that girls wanna be all wifey to their boyfriends YET they dont wanna be all Hubby to them…..ithini na kanti lento???? I though I was missing something here….

        1. Its sad that females are conditioned to think serving a boyfriend as a husband proves they are worthy of being wifed.. I’ve had a man say to me “each time you’ve been to my place, I’ve checked if you have qualities to change my house into a home”.. i promptly told him to go fish elsewhere with that nonsense because I refuse to audition to be a wife. If you do not love me and dont realise that marriage is about SERVING and not BEING SERVED, then I have no business wanting to be married to you.

          Let us teach our girl children that they do not have to prove their worth to anyone..please

      1. like you want your laundry washed and ironed, but i dont see you buying me a house and groceries.. siphi na???

        1. i feel so late for replying.. yhuu my ‘so-called’ told me loo shit yoba yena he doesn’t reali consider looks, body or dress code in a woman but if she cooks, cleans nd does laundry thats a turn on kuye.. i told him to go look fo u Fheli (Muvhango) bcos im not practising to be a good wife when im in his place. i always protest when it comes to cooking nd washing fo a man because they’ll still cheat noba wenzani fo them

  6. Walala Palesa! … Gia you confessing, that was STUPID I’m sorry I’m not condoning you cheating but confessing was plain stupid. If you feel guilty and wanna confess go to your Priest, pray to God. He forgives, men don’t. You dug your own grave sisi and there’s not turning back from that now.

    1. I agree with you Nonks K. Deny…deny…and deny. Confessing out of guilt is just a big no. Deal with your guilt. Go see a counsellor or priest.

  7. Hhaibo People do not make Taking Care of your man sound like a bad thing..Theres absolutely nothing wrong with cooking and cleaning for your man..How else is he gonna kno ure capable of taking care if him if i dont do it now??..If he has intentions of making u his wife he will regardless of u giving him all benefits now…
    GIA your man is no longer into you..Find yourself someone who’ll treat you the way you deserve to be treated..

  8. Gia your relationship is gone, finished, klaar, iphelile…its not only because you cheated HAYI!!
    The confession fucked things up, ndiyindoda and I know this, you can go anywhere in the world thina madoda siyafana we never forgive umntu otyiweyo!! If you don’t leave this guy you’ll never find inner peace, NEVER!!!

  9. Thank you bhut’Mike
    Hayi Skeezy, no one is saying it is a bad thing but going out of your way to do it is something else. If he can see that I’m capable of taking care of myself what’s gonna be so difficult that I can’t take care of him when we’re married? If my boyfriend is visiting me over the weekend he first asks if he can bring his laundry, he cannot just assume that i’ll do it for him & vise versa as I also cannot assume that he will do mine when I visit him. When he is at my house I clean and cook & he helps same goes when I visit him, he cleans & cooks, I help; otherwise how else will I know that he will be able to take care of me when he is my husband if he doesn’t do these things for himself. And if your man doesn’t do these things for himself/takes care of himself & expects you to, don’t you then wonder who is taking care of him when you are not there?? Ladies please men are capable beings, stop spoiling them and then complain that you’re not being appreciated/taken for granted and when things don’t go well you complain that you did everything for him and now this. You cooking for him and doing his laundry (proving to him that you are wife material) is not a guarantee that he will marry you #my opinion
    Gia girl, that man doesn’t love you anymore – all the signs are there, let go. It will hurt but you will heal and hopefully find someone who will love you for you.

    1. Gogo you put it SO nicely.. some guys these days expect their girlfriends to be their servants. Its like they’re incapable of using a spoon when you are around. Relationships are partnerships and we must help each other out, and you can expect what you wont give.

  10. Haaai ke! You love him neh, do you love yourself?
    1- He knows you have excess to his phone, but he left you evidence
    2- The evidence shows that he’s cheating. Did he run to you to confess?
    And here you are complaining about you being the one who should be doing his laundry. You need to do that mirror thing that Pillz advised you to do. He does not respect you vele, angithi that’s how you taught him to treat you.

  11. Gia you should have never told him you cheated on him.

    I was dating a Stubborn Zulu guy and he owns a franchise, not to mention his young and yummy. But he was always working and would only come from work late. This one night i went clubbing Eish then my crush who is a model was in the club and the whole night we were kissing each other. To cut a long story short, at the end of the night my ex was waiting for me at the door and asked me why my lipstick is smudged Lol

    And I told him It’s because of my glass, he laughed and said let’s go home when he saw everything. Up till today I still deny everything. And changed the story too I was saying congratulations to the model.

  12. GIA You lost him the minute you confessed your cheating dear,let him go dear the relationship is over,move-on

  13. Ladies

    Eg. The DA have proved themselves in Cape Town municipality meaning EEF it’s not even considered cause they have nothing to show for…😁 others have failed shame cheating is like the ANC, dont what them around again

  14. Gia., guy hasnt forgiven u my dear and this is payback time…I wouldn’t be suprised if he knows that u know about his cheating,sad thing is tht he wants u to feel the pain instead of breaking up wth U…take the hints,he wants u to walk away without him hving to say so

  15. I can see you practically worship on his foot step,do everything he said you should, he is enslaving you and abusive emotional. He doesn’t deserve you. Now you became his robot I plead girl know your worth and I believe you still got some pride. so take all the advice and learn from your mistakes.

  16. Thanks Bhut mike for these books they teach us a lot.
    GIA Ntombi the sisters and brothers have spoken. Again, you are too young for this nonsense just take a calculator and start adding, I might be wrong but I don’t think you’ve got anything to lose if you start walking away from that relationship before falling pregnant and having a child with someone who treats you like that.

  17. If he disrespects you and talks to you like a child the you best believe he wants out of the relationship.

    I sometimes find myself doing it to my girlfriend and the only reason I am still with her is because she is pregnant. I know it’s wrong but I cant help myself and find myself apologising to her for my rude.

    Gia rather cut your losses and leave whilst you still have your dignity intact and there is no baby involved.

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