I can’t believe he was expecting me to go shopping with this baby sitter! Valerie spoke a lot and in spite of the
fact that I had just met her, I already knew everything about her. She was a student and because of the conference, like the driver she was also working for extra cash. I could not behave like a petulant child so I did not complain. It’s another thing about men with money that you must learn they do not want to be disobeyed. They have so much power they are used to people running around for them. I am not saying you me be docile as that would bore them quickly. You pick your fights and you pick them well. This was not a fight worth having.
“So if all is well I will see you when I get back!”
“Sure I will be here!”
I told him. What else could I say?
“Oh I almost forgot, take the drivers number, don’t want you getting stranded!”
He said. He was being thoughtful I guess. I was starting to get the impression that he was trying to get rid of me badly. Now I was getting suspicious. I said I was going. He is the one who had called me here and now he was busy.
“You don’t look so cheerful; going shopping would cheer anyone up!”
She said after we got hold of the driver and we were headed towards parking.
“Did you find whoever you went downstairs for?”
I asked and he changed the topic immediately. I did not want to talk about Sam with her. She seemed like the type who would then go tell the world everything you had said.
“Yes I did. They were about to punch out. Had to make a lie that someone on my table had spilled everything and forced me to take his things to hotel dry clean blah blah blah! Imagine! Those people are relentless!”
She said. I could not get how they could be relentless if all they wanted her to do was to do her job. I thought I had won but the moment we got back into the car she started again,
“He must really love you. The most I ever get for shopping from my man if I beg that is and beg for a long time at that is r1000. Vele its fine though because he is still starting out his business so one day we will be like you!”
She said. I was not sure whether she was judging me or not as she said it but with people who talk a lot and who talk fast you never know what it is they are saying.
“It’s not as glamorous as it sounds!”
I told her. The driver looked back. Remember he had thought the man was my dad and I could see by the look in his eye that he was disgusted. Ok fine, I could not see him. My own conscience made me think that he did but he said nothing.
“Dude you get to shop and travel! It’s every girls dream. If you live in the same town with your boyfriend the best you can do is have him take you to a movie!”
She said and we both laughed. It was actually weird how she said that in that if I compared her boyfriend to Neo, Neo was a baller in the things we did together.
It was an hour into Gateway and I had not bought anything. The mall is huge yes but in all honesty it feels like it has nothing nice for you to buy. All these shops and you end up finding yourself in Edgars! This shop ke Satan shem, it follows black peoples psyche like knowing witches exist but not allowing yourself to acknowledge they do for fear of offending the God you pray to or people calling your backward. I looked at my phone and I don’t know how or what I had pressed and a picture of Neo flashed across the screen.
I decided to call him.
He said rather coldly.
“Is that the best I can get out of you? Such a cold hi really Neo?”
I asked him.
“What do you expect? I am supposed to always be happy when I hear from you like I am a child waiting for his parents to come back from work?”
He asked me.
“Clearly you are mad at me for something; please just say it instead of shouting at me just because you feel like it!”
I answered back.
“You don’t see it? You don’t see that you have changed? You even resorted to lying to me something you never used to do!”
He said accusing me.
“What did I lie about though?”
“Who was that person in the car with you that day at res because it was not your mother?”
“How could you even say that?”
I asked him.
“Because your mother called me looking for you earlier today and guess what I said, ‘sorry I did not stop by and say hi when you came to campus’ and she said she has not been to UJ in months!”
He said. Now I had a lump in my throat. Busted! No wonder why my mother had been sniffing around so much.
“She must have been mistaken!”
I said in my defence but it was hardly convincing. At times when you are caught you are caught just accept it.
“Keep telling yourself that. You know where to find me when you decide that I am worth being honest to!”
He said and he hung up the phone. I should never have called me. My day had just gotten sour! Now I did not feel like shopping anymore. I was not feeling it. I wanted to go back to the hotel and sleep.
“Are we not having supper, I am hungry!”
Valerie asked when I told her I was not feeling so well I wanted to go home.
“Can we just buy some take away and call it a day. I am tired and not hundred percent!”
I told her. She was not too excited anymore and I guess she would have to wait another day to go shopping. We ended up buying Nandos not because I like it but because she said it’s the one she likes. They dropped me off at the hotel and because I did not how the car worked they went their own way. I made my way to the hotel and I just fell on the bed again. I was hungry and could because I could not work this damn aircon! Fuck!
I ate my Nandos in this fancy hotel like I was eating Chicken Licken after a night out drinking, bones and all. The only evidence that Nandos was ever here was the paper bag otherwise I turned those bones into powder. I was only reminded of where I was when Khanyi called,
“Neo just called me asking me where you are. When I told him you were here he swore at me and told me I am a liar and the reason why you have become this person!”
She complained immediately of which I spoke at the same time as her,
“I think Neo is breaking up with me!”
I said to her, of which she responded,
“And then? What do you mean he is breaking up with you? Neo loves you!”
She explained. If he loved me why was he giving up on me?
“What am I going to do now?”
I asked her.
“Just wait for him to calm down. I hung up on him and told him that if he wanted to talk to me he must first calm down and I will answer any question he has about you. I don’t actually think he will call but I obviously made it sound good.”
Allowing your friends to be part of your relationship is a strong sign of a weak relationship that is bound to fail. They might mean well and you might think they know everything about you and your partner but the truth is they are not there in the quiet moments, when you hold each other and tell each other how much you love each other. They are not there when things are at their worst and you reassure each other one more time. They judge from the outside and often their interpretation of what is really going on no matter how beautiful a picture you paint for them is often wrong.
“I don’t want to lose my boyfriend and if I have to get rid of Sam I will!”
I told her.
“You can’t be serious! At the first sign of trouble you panic! Chill, I will fix this for you and you won’t lose either. This weekend you are going away with Neo, your treat!”
She suddenly said like it was a good idea.
“I would love to but where am I going to get the money for that?”
I asked her.
“Where are you right now?”
She asked me.
“I am at the hotel!”
“Dude it was a rhetorical question. Of course I know where you are. You are going to get the money to go where ever from there!”
As she said that I looked at my bag, the money I had not shopped with. I had not even counted it. She was right uyazi; I already had money so I can take him for a weekend away.
Blessed are the blessed because they shall bless their boyfriends too! That’s one thing boys don’t get. If you are in a relationship, and your girlfriend has a blesser you don’t know about, chances of the money she is getting from him filtering down to you too are often 100%. That dinner she took you out to, or that watch she bought you out of the blue is what they call guilt money. She is paying you off for sharing her and you don’t even know it! Next time when you catch her, think of all the sudden gifts you got, guilt!
“Yes ok but that means I will have to find something to tell Sam so that he can give me more money!”
I said to her.
“That’s the spirit! You aint giving up that Punani for free, you aint a nun! Hustle baby hustle!”
She said and we laughed at the word punani. The things we tell each other. I felt much better even though I was a bit nervous.
Ten minutes later same walked in!
“How was the shopping?”
He asked me.
“It was nice but Gateway is too big. It’s one of those places you go on a full stomach and flat shoes otherwise you just confuse yourself eventually!”
I explained to him.
“I know, my company was one of the original contractors on this mall and we never actually thought it would end up so big!”
He said. I had noticed something about Sam, he was a bragger! Every time I mention something he would say his company had something to do with it. I am sure if I said to him Nelson Mandela he would say his company provided the casket.
“I didn’t get to shop much because the things I like I already identified in Sandton City so will buy them when we go back!”
I told him.
“Oh ok that’s fair and wise I guess. Why didn’t you say you needed to shop when we were in Jhb though?”
He asked me.
“I am not like that and you know it!”
I reminded him. I never demand anything. He looked a bit nervous. He took off his jacket and that’s when I smelt it.
Sex produces some kind of unique odour. If you have been having sex long enough you would not miss it. It only happens before the person has bathed of course and there was no way in hell I could not conclude this.
“You just had sex didn’t you?”
I said to him.
He did not answer me and went into the bathroom.
“Sam I am talking to you!”
I shouted and he popped his head out of the bathroom and said,
“No I did not! I am at an AIDS conference where would I have found the sex!”
He said but I was already on him.
“So whose make up is this on your shirt and note it’s not on your jacket meaning the jacket was taken off?”
I pointed out.
“Go to bed I will be out right now!”
That was his response. What to do now? I was in Durban, alone, I knew no one and this man had just done this to me!
I missed Neo!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
Dear Mike and readers
I’m caught up in a situation where I’m so helpless. I wish there was catfish in Mzansi. There is a person impersonating me on instagram but the account is very vague and this person is harassing people in my name. It has gotten to a point where I almost got beaten up for it. I have reported to instagram itself with no luck and the police as well but they also couldn’t help me as there is lack of evidence that this account is impersonating me.
Can anyone please advise me on what to do now because this could get worse?