Parents! They can truly surprise you! My mother wanted me to take a picture to prove to her where I was! I could not take that picture because I was not where I told her I was. I had been caught in my lie and there was nothing I
could do about it. I could not say to the driver take me back all the way to Mtubatuba just so I could take a picture. It was not going to work. I went through my phone and there was not a single picture where I had my hair up. To be honest it’s not really our thing as black girls. Having your hair up means you expose the stitching of your weave usually so we prefer it down. Braids and natural hair maybe but truth be told when last did one have natural hair long enough to take such pictures.
“What am I going to do now?”
I asked myself when I put the phone down. When we entered I had noticed that this ICC place was quite concrete. There was no bushy area I could take a picture from and pretend it was rural areas. African villages don’t have lawns so it means I would have to look for a place that could pass off as a village and a girl I could pass off as Khanyi! That was impossible. My other option was to drive all the way back to Mtubatuba, 2 and half hours away just to take a picture! Isn’t that crazy? I called my dad crying.
He asked me.
“Mommy wants me to take pictures with the people here and they are saying that in their culture when someone dies, no one takes pictures it’s disrespectful to the dead! What must I do?”
I cried as though someone had died. Only the coldest cruelest most evil man will not be moved by the site of a woman crying (ok fine and policeman) but you know what I mean. A woman’s tears to real men still mean something and my dad is a real men.
“Its ok sweetie don’t be dramatic le wena, I will tell her to back off. She has to understand that the rules in her house are not the same rules for everyone else!”
He hung up immediately. It was not because he was going to solve my problems but because he didn’t want to hear me cry. Plan one done! He was going to fight her for me.
There was a knock on my door, yes a real knock! I was expecting someone to say housekeeping but they didn’t.
I said when I opened the door. It was a girl, probably my age just smaller. You know those girls that look young but if you look closely and under that make up you can tell have they chewed one too many Christmases in comparison to your normal teenager. Yes, if you drink and party a lot no matter how much make up you wear, we can tell that you drink frequently.
“Hi, I hope I got it right, you are Palesa right?”
She asked me. Ok, how did she know my name!
“Yes I am!”
I said to her.
“Oh awesome! Fuck I was dying of boredom. Your friend asked me to come keep you company. Do you mind if I come in?”
She asked me.
“No not at all!”
I said. Was I being punked or robbed? I was not sure!
“I met him whilst serving drinks and then he said I should come to this room since we are about the same age! Don’t worry I don’t judge, I too wish I had someone like him. You know I have never left eThekwini, not once. Here when you are born in the township you dream of one day ending up in Umhlanga and reality is if you do end up there you most likely working at the mall. Or stupid jobs like that…”
This girl spoke a mile a minute and she spoke fast too. I could not even put in a word until at the end she turned around and said,
“Do you have food?”
She asked me. I burst out laughing which baffled her indeed.
“You know you didn’t even tell me your name!”
I said to her. I don’t know why I found it funny; maybe it was the thought that I had traded my peace and serenity for a radio station.
“O crap, my bad! My name is Valerie, do you want the surname too, Majozi, Valerie Majozi in full but everyone calls me Val. I don’t mind it but I wish people would use my Zulu name because you know in this down the only English name that doesn’t raise eyebrows is Amanda right so when you come up saying you are Valerie people look at you funny. With a name like this you can’t have a scandal because everyone remembers who exactly you are!”
She said and in my head I was telling myself I only asked you for your name and indeed if you talk this much even Robert Marawa would remember you if you called in.
“Nice to meet you Val and no, there is no food here! I can’t even order because I don’t have his card on me so that sucks! Imagine dying of starvation in such a hotel, even St. Peter won’t let me through into heaven because am so stupid!”
I expected her to laugh but she didn’t. Instead she looked at me blankly and asked,
“Who is St. Peter and what’s he got to do with you and heaven?”
I raised my hand to scratch my head instinctively but half way through that motion I stopped myself.
“Nah never mind! We need to make a plan for food!”
I immediately said. I was not about to explain to this girl who or what St. Peter was, it’s ok she live in her ignorance. Only God know why he made stupid people so who am I to judge.
“Yeah I know hey! Come I show you a picture of this girl? Imagine she has been trying to steal my boyfriend. What kind of friendship is that? I caught her texting him and he texted back. I went to his phone to check his messages from her and what I suspected they have been talking for a long time!”
She said very annoyed. Yah neh, Sam I will pay you back for this one. I looked at the picture of the girl and you know how they say oppression is in the mind, if you tie a donkey on a plastic chair it won’t run away because its tied down…that was Valerie. The girl in the picture was no offense nothing like her and very far from being a threat to him.
“What makes you think he is cheating?”
I asked her.
“Wena how would you feel if you find your friend has been chatting to your boyfriend for months and never told you. From my boyfriends chats they say hi every two days. I smell a rat and I am going to beat her up!”
She said with so much confidence! It reminded me of some of these small political parties saying they are going to rule South Africa… Sigh! You have got to love this country! The girl in the picture was no threat to her on her boyfriend because she was big, as in tall and big. Note I didn’t say athletic. I don’t know how food was forgotten because we started discussing relationship, she did most of the talking of course and I made sure I did not divulge too much about myself to this radio station. About two hours later she jumped up and said,
“O shit! I have to go and sign out otherwise I won’t get paid!”
“I will be back don’t worry!”
She said and ran out of the room. Sign out? I had even forgotten she was working at the convention and its one of those people you ask yourself how they can even keep a job.
I didn’t actually realize I was tired as I drifted into a nap. Ten minutes later someone was standing over me.
“Sorry I am later than I thought. We had so many sessions and so many important people spoke today such as Prince Harry, Elton John etc!”
It was Sam and he was standing there smiling as he said it. He actually said etc as a word. I did not care really. Now that he was here I wanted to be there, back with my friends. Not even because he was late to attend to me but he looked old. You know it’s weird; most girls don’t really like their blesser. When you are not with him you think about him especially when he goes to nice places such as Durban and you are stuck in your room. You feel like you also want to be there so you can have fun and see the sites but if you happen to be there with him, you don’t want to be seen with him. You would rather be there but not with him.
“Oh that’s nice! You should have invited me! Where else will I ever meet the prince?”
I said faking interest because I only did not care about an English prince. He had nothing to do with neither me nor my life so why should I care. Give me Jesse Williams and I will go crazy but a white dude, nope, not even if you paid me.
“Next time love! How was your trip here? Did everything go ok?”
He asked me.
“Yes and yes. I was bored the whole day though because now I was stuck in the room and I had no money to go anywhere. Even if I had, I was too scared to leave because I don’t know my way around here!”
I told him. He laughed and he came over to hug me saying,
“I am sorry. I should have thought of that but everything happened fast especially this morning but I sent you Valerie! Did you like her?”
He asked me?
“Do you know am too old to be set up on play dates?”
I asked him and we both laughed.
“At least she kept you company, I was sure they would fire her on the floor the way she was talking too much down there so I rescued her!”
He said feeling very chuffed with himself.
“The bad news is I have to go again. Even now I still have meetings to attend but that won’t take long then I am all yours!”
“You brought me all this way to be alone? I want to be with you baby…”
I said in my sheepish voice. Ok with men, no matter how old they are, they want you to act as though without them the sun won’t rise in the morning.
“I know love. I promise when I come back we can do something. I will ask the driver to take you to the mall. Do a bit of shopping.”
He proceeded to take out a wad of cash and handed it to me!
“I withdrew before I came here! No card means no paper trail!”
He said. I know what he meant. He did not want his wife seeing what he was doing with the money. I smiled politely like the little prostitute he had made me feel like at that moment.
“Yes baby, no paper trail!”
There was a knock on the door,
“I am back!”
O God please why me?
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
How are you and your readers?
I am a man aged 32. I have been dating a lady who is now 35 for three years now. We have never been faithful to each other because when we first started she was getting over a break up and I was more like her Ben 10. She has a much higher job than me in a different company, very well accomplished and like Ausi Lungi in YES, independent and strong. It was all fun and good then last year she stopped all the games and asked me to stop mine too. I had a girl on the side and she knew about this. With that girl we were on the verge of breaking up because well, I was cheating on her. She ended up dumping me even before I could do the deed. The problem is I don’t trust my 35 year old. She wanted a baby by me which she said she would take care of 100% as she does not want to get married. She said she wanted my baby as I suit all she wanted in a child. She used those words! I told her I was not a child and she tried to cover it up. I like her, maybe even love her but I can’t just give her a baby and walk away. I didn’t want to lose my relationship with her but at the same time I needed to find a way of putting her back to order. Now guess what, she is pregnant and I don’t remember me not using a condom with her. I know we talk of accidents but I don’t recall us having one. She said its mine and the moment she found she came straight to me. Now she is saying we should get married because she can’t have a child raised like a stray! Is this woman normal? Should I trust that the baby is mine? Should I consider marrying her?