“Blessed are the girls who put themselves out there for they shall get the blessers they want!”
That’s how I should have started this chapter but I won’t because it must add,
“Woe to the girls that do not know boundaries because they will end up for your fathers!”
Yes that would be so much better. When you make friends you never expect them to betray you even though more often than not they do. Even if they are crazy like Khanyi, you expect them never to bring that craziness back home to you. They do it to other people not you. It’s like having a friend who likes fighting; even if you disapprove of that part of them you do not expect that to one use it on you. It’s part of being naïve. It’s like being a side chick. It’s all well and good when he eventually dumps the main chick for you but how long do you think it will take him to get another side? Again, we are naïve to things that we should expect. I don’t know if it’s the frailty in us women or the love that makes us blind ourselves from what will eventually happen. Sure you can’t have a friend who gossips about anything and everyone and expect her not to gossip about you when you are not there! Plain stupidity I tell you. Khanyi went to get my charger from her dads car as they drove in whilst I was on her phone. I had handed her my phone and already she was charging it by the time we got back in. It’s weird how we were in the deep rurals but there was electricity everywhere. You know when you listen to ENews or read the papers you expect village people to not have electricity or water but now that I was here I don’t know what they were talking about. Maybe they live in different countries.
“Your dad sounds cool!”
Khanyi said. She actually took me by surprise with that statement. We had never discussed him before because come to think of it, I never talked to him when she was there. Girls need to learn this, if your father is powerful and has a powerful job, do not go around telling your friends how powerful he is! With this blesser obsessed generation it’s only a matter of time.
“When he wants to be. At times I feel like my mum just crushed his spirit and he has taken comfort in the bottle!”
I told her.
“Ah that’s sad friend. I think he needs to get a new woman to get him over your mum!”
She said and I laughed. There are people who believe that to get over a relationship you must go into another one. I am not one of those because I just feel like opening your legs because you closed them to another is very cheap and tacky. Most likely the person you opening them up to you don’t even like and I have noticed that because you are punishing someone who most likely has even moved on more often than not you end up pregnant! Imagine my dad at his age fathering a child… Nope… Not wise!
“He will find himself one, he is a big guy!”
I said and we laughed about it. We went back in to the twins who were visibly drunk.
“You guys are weak shem! Is this what they teach you at Zululand that after three drinks you pass out?”
Khanyi accused them when we walked in. One of them laughed and said,
“We have been up since four this morning. We had to study as we were writing at 8am before we came back home!”
She explained. I have never understood 8 o’clock exams either. They are evil. Even in high school they don’t make you do that. Eish, I keep on forgetting these girls’ names, I am terrible with names or maybe I too was getting drunk.
“You guys keep getting calls, must be nice! My so called boyfriend is waiting for me to either call him or send him airtime to call me!”
She said and the girls laughed.
“You can’t be serious! Your man doesn’t call you if you don’t call him?”
I asked. She actually seemed offended by that and responded,
“Not all of us have men with companies. In KZN more often than not when you have a man you take what he has to offer which is nothing but words! Those words are not even many or that romantic at that unless he wants to get laid then he will sing you Nomvula for sure!”
And we laughed,
“Isn’t Nomvula Xhosa?”
I asked her and she responded,
“It is Xhosa but our boys have their own words!”
She said then her sister jumped in,
“It’s kind of sweet but oh well, what sis means is that it’s not enough!”
They all started talking in Zulu. I think in the conversation they actually forgot I was there. You see in Jhb I can hear a few words of Zulu (unless it’s the taxi drivers of course those because those are straight from Nongoma it’s a wonder how they learned that license book to get a license). When these guys spoke it was like watching a version of Isibaya live without the subtitles. My little Zulu knowledge was totally irrelevant here.
“I am in Durban for the HIV Conference! I am bored! I should have come with you!”
He said in what I think was a joke.
“I am also in KZN hey! I am in a village in Mtubatuba!”
I told him. He said he had heard of it and then said something I didn’t expect.
“I am sending my driver tomorrow morning to pick you up!”
He said very casually.
“You do know Durban is three hours away from here right?”
I asked him
“Yes I do!”
“Ok then. I don’t believe you and in any case go talk about AIDS!”
I said in a mocking tone. He would be crazy if he did it. He told me he had to go and I turned to Khanyi and said,
“Guess who called me?”
“No! It’s not Neo!”
I told her. Speaking of Neo he had not called me the whole day and that was very much unlike him. Neo would call to check in at every rest stop if he took a trip. If I was the one on the road he would call several times to check if all was till ok. Today he had not. He had been rather distant but that was not the task at hand.
She asked me!
“Yes! He says he is in Durban and wants me to join him?”
I told her.
“Join him there? Fuck dude you are so lucky I really wish I was you! But how are you supposed to get there?”
She asked me. I think she had misheard me! I had not said I was going to Durban.
“Dude come on he would be crazy to do that!”
I told her but she was not buying it. The twins were fast asleep at this stage so the conversation was pretty much just us.
“No he won’t! Doesn’t every girl want a guy that can surprise her at any time? Most girls date guys were they know what tomorrow will be and the day after! They is no drama or intrigue! Nothing! You never have anything to look forward to!”
She explained to me. See why I say she was a bad influence! If you have a friend who is a bad influence the problem is not that you are weak but that often when they tell you their theories they actually make sense.
“Maybe I like boring and predictable!”
I said which was a total lie. Sam was neither boring nor predictable but with him he used his money to get things done. He was not a bad boy per se but he was a man that could get whatever he wanted and could get people to do whatever he wanted them to do. That’s what made them bad. Blessers are older versions of bad boys, they might look sleazy to some but who is fooling who, even the churches you attend are rich and are after money.
“Let’s go to bed, these two have passed out!”
Khanyi said. I was not really tired but she was right, that drive had been long and we needed the rest. Tomorrow I will get to explore this village they called Mtubatuba. I don’t think I lasted 5 minutes because soon I too passed out.
In the morning by the time Khanyi and I, the big city girls woke up it was 9am and the twins had not only bathed, but also cleaned the yard and made breakfast for the elders. It was so embarrassing, ok for me, because Khanyi did not give two fucks about it.
“Dude how are we going to show our faces?”
I asked her very embarrassed.
“We walk out and greet and walk back to our room!”
She said. I was hungry though and I really needed to bath. I also had a slight hangover.
“Where do I bath?”
I asked her. She called the twins who laughed at her but in about an hour I had bathed and changed. We went to greet the elders who laughed at us for waking up in the “afternoon”. Khanyi’s father was not happy but he left with most of the uncles leaving us with Yolanda.
“You look so tired!”
I told her. She did Shem.
“If you want to be happy, never be a Zulu makoti at a funeral they work you till you drop!”
She said with a wry smile. She needed rest but I guess what Khanyi had said in the car about how they will treat her had not come true as everyone was friendly towards her. I was glad for her even if it was against my friends wishes.
My phone was ringing and it was a number I did not know.
“Morning is this Palesa?”
“Yes who is this?”
“Oh thank God, have been struggling to get network. I am lost, I was sent by Bra Sam to pick you up!”
He said! You got to be kidding me!
“Well go back ah, I am at a funeral!”
I said shocked but flattered at the same time.
“If I do that I will lose my job!”
He said. I was not sure if he meant it but now I had to listen. I gave the twins the phone to direct him and it turned out he was 15 minutes away. I called a meeting with the girls and everyone said I should go! I will come back in two days in time for the funeral. We now had to come up with a story to tell Yolanda since her father was not there. She said I could go but this was not the way things are done. I hugged none the less and thirty minutes later I was in a car with a man I did not know.
“I can’t believe you are actually here! What the fuck? What time did you leave?”
I asked him as the engine roared to life.
“I left at 7am maam and there was a lot of traffic plus cops so had to drive slow! The N2 is also not the safest highway; it’s pretty much a bad road so the journey was slow!”
He explained. He was a happy talking chap. He said he had been hired specifically for the conference he was not actually a driver by profession.
“Your father insisted that I bring you safe so please wear your seatbelt!”
I wanted to jump out and say he was not my father but I held it in. This would make the rest of the trip awkward and three hours of awkward could seem like an eternity!
I was so excited; this is what I call adventure and being spontaneous.
Tswana Girl comes to Durban!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I have a rather embarrassing story which I would like you to advise me on. I am 38 and have two kids. My husband died two years ago. My sister was married to a man from Limpopo when she died in a car accident last year. They had a child. The husband asked me to help him look after his child with him as we are both based in Jhb and he did not want their daughter to grow up in Limpopo. Needless to say we started spending a lot of time together and I started developing feelings for him. This is my brother in law mind you. He was slow to catch on and I went all out to make him fall for me. We started sleeping together. The sex isn’t great but his company is amazing. I then realized that maybe all this was loneliness and I did not actually love him. We are good friends at best. I then discovered I was pregnant, with his child and I made the mistake of telling him. He wants us to keep the child and my problem is how we tell our kids and extended families were the kid came from especially now that I don’t want him like that. I messed up and I might have reasons as to why I took him to my bed I know this could be a scandal in the family. What do I do?