Funny enough, much as our parents love us so much they also contribute to holding us back just as much. If your parents are church like and conservative then by default they want you to be like them. My mother picked days when
she thought parenting meant putting impossible rules. She had a way of giving you all the freedom in the world but in a way telling you that you could not use it as you pleased. That freedom came according to her and on her terms. These were the days she reinforced the notion that she was thee mom and you were the child and you had no say in the matter. Always I respected that decision but today what she was asking me was impossible. I could not up and leave after I had just arrived like that. Come on now. She was most certainly being unreasonable.
“What did you say to her?”
Khanyi asked me.
“I told her I am not coming.”
I said rather curtly to be honest. I did not want to talk about it because to Khanyi she would love as it would be me rebelling against my parents like she does.
“Oh ok cool. The twins want us to go out! I don’t want to stay here with these old people
“Are you sure that’s wise? This place is so rural there is nowhere to go!”
I told her.
“There is always a place to go; you just have to know where to go!”
She said. They had a plan but this was a funeral surely we had to focus on the things on hand. My mother slightly had a point on Khanyi; all she seemed to want was having fun. I know I was quick to blame daddy issues but something was wrong with her indeed.
“Look what I found guys?”
One of the twins said to us as she walked into our allocated room. She was carrying a bottle of Jonny Black. I don’t even drink such things but I found myself jumping up and down with the other girls in excitement.
“We don’t have to go out then! We can drink right here and just catch up as girls!”
Her sister said. I thought Khanyi would protest but she was ok with the idea. She told her sister to go look for lime or something to dash with because there was no way we could drink this thing straight. Within an hour we were in the room all four of us were supposed to be sleeping.
“Khanyi says you might be going home tomorrow?”
One of the twins said.
“Nah I told my mother that I won’t be going so it’s not happening!”
I explained in between sips. The twins looked at each other before one said,
“Defying your mother will give you bad luck in life?”
One of the twins said to me! And then? Ever noticed how kids that grow up in semi rural places have funny beliefs like this. The way I see it, if it were true, no girl would ever have gotten married. For you to get a man you have to have defied your parents. No matter wants to allow their child to have a boyfriend because that means they are sanctioning her to go and get laid. This of course unless you are on Date My Family where your mother is actively trying to get you a man. Very creepy stuff I tell you but who is complaining, its marriage!
“Guys come on, so now you are saying I should have said yes to leaving tomorrow! I just arrived and I just met you guys! Why would I want to leave?”
I asked them and we all laughed. It’s funny how wrong things can seem so right. I had indeed just met them yet to me they were making more sense than my mother who I had known all my life. That’s what we do though isn’t, we trust our friends more even if we don’t know them for a long time.
“All I am saying is that before you cast your idea to stay in stone, call your mom first thing in the morning, call her again and try to convince her. Think of reasons why you should stay! Don’t just leave it via the sms you sent! Yho I can see my mum now if I had done that! She will raise all my ancestors from the ground to come after me I swear!”
She said and again we laughed. She had a point I have no doubt about that but this girl did not know my mother. Once her mind was made up it was made up! No wonder why she made so many bad decisions.
“I want to hear more about Dubai?”
I knew we were going to go here.
“Come on guys we have not even been there yet so how can we even have answers!”
I responded laughing and clearly getting a bit tipsy.
“Yeah but I am sure after you knew you were going you did a bit more research! I hear that they use Mercedes Benz as their taxis! How deep is that?”
She said and we all laughed. Somehow all this wealth seemed exaggerated though. I am not saying Mercedes Benz is the top of the line but who does that? Have you ever tried to catch a non Uber cab and seen how shitty some of these cars are now you telling me people are using such cars as that? Nope, I had to see to believe like Thomas.
“I want you to get me an Arab blesser!”
“What will you do with him you can’t speak their language?”
Her sister asked and we laughed.
“Dude everyone speaks English! Even if it’s not good English but we all speak it!”
She fought back.
“And besides if he is rich enough he will hire a translator!”
We laughed some more!
“Money has no language as long as it does its job which is to buy!”
Khanyi chirped and we all toasted to that. I had had a misconception of rural girls to be honest; these girls were very modern in how they did things minus the slight accent of course!
“I need to call my dad before I get drunk!”
I suddenly remembered out loud. I stood up and already I was a bit light headed. I stepped outside to make the call.
“Hi dad how are you?”
He said. He sounded very excited to hear from me when he responded,
“Yes baby girl, you have been very quiet. Are you good?”
He asked me.
“Yes school is well and all else!”
“Today my girls are loving me even you sister called me just to talk. It was very nice catching up with her and now here you are!”
He said. My sister always seemed to take away my shine that one. This was not the first time she beat me to something. It’s like she always knew when I wanted to do something and would beat me to it. I think I was slightly jealous of her! Is it possible to be jealous of your sister though?
“So what’s on your mind?”
He asked me. You see fathers are very practical, they tell you what they think is the right path or not without beating around the bush like your mum does. I broke down and told him everything about the funeral, who Khanyi was and why it was important for me to be here. He listened and when I was done he said,
“Your mother had a point, you should have told her!”
He started and I protested,
“How when she is never there and when she comes it’s either too late or she is already in a bad mood?”
“Don’t use that tone with me! There is something called a phone and I believe we are using it right now. You could even have texted her but that’s not the point. I admire that you are being there for your friend but you need to start thinking of after you bury your friend’s gran, what next? When you go home your mother won’t be talking to you and you know that!”
He concluded the obvious. What next indeed?
“I will be at school and when I want to go home I can come to your place!”
I told him. I knew that would excite him because ever since they separated, going to his place was like picking a war with my mother. She is the one that had cheated on him several times yet when he left she had played victim and said it was his entire fault. It was no secret. My mother blamed my father for everything and she had made sure that she turned him against us. My father was so done with her that he did not contest the divorce, I know this because I read the court papers and saw my mother’s indiscretions. I never told my little sister all this but she had taken to hate my father. That’s why he was happy she called. It’s easy to blame the men when women are doing exactly what they are doing today.
“You know you can come anytime. I have moved from Soshanguve, I am in town now but will moving again soon, my bond just came through!”
He said with excitement in his voice! I don’t know why people divorce at times, often when that happens one partner tends to lose more and it’s usually the man. You risk so much in divorce. My father when he was gatvol had first moved to the township to get back on his feet. We lived Acacia and yes I was house was no mansion but it was very much suburban with all those amenities that come with suburbs. He still had his car but it was not a good living but because he had not contested the divorce my cheating mother had taken everything. I don’t know if he regretted though because he seemed happy.
“Ah my battery is dying!”
I told him and just like that my phone switched off.
“Khanyi where is my small yellow bag, I left my charger!”
I asked her.
“Crap! I thought it was Yolanda’s I left it in the car! I think dad is out right now I heard them drive out will take it when he gets back!”
“OK cool! Can I use your phone? I just want to conclude with my dad!”
She handed me her phone and I called my dad.
“Hello who is this?”
He asked as he didn’t know the number. I explained I was using Khanyi’s phone but I will call him tomorrow. We said our goodnights and that was that.
Looking back, using that phone, would ruin my life some day!
Friends are snakes!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)
I am Bulelwa Nkosi from Vosloorus, I am a student at Monash University currently studying BA International relations and Philosophy minoring in Economics.
I am sending you this email because I am in need of your assistance, I ask if you know anyone who can help me fund my final semester University tuition please assist me with their information. I’m a young woman who is a leader in her community, I create leadership platforms and opportunities for young people in Vosloorus. At the moment, I am currently going through financial difficulties at home. I hope that you can help me. Please.