“Don’t be so quick to say sorry just so you can avoid an argument with your partner. Some battles if not fought at that moment turn into a war that there will be no coming back from when they could have been fixed at the beginning!” Mike Maphoto
You know when you are accused of doing some think you know or think you have not done it’s very difficult to actually reconcile it with yourself. Anger is often your first reaction meaning logic takes a long time to prevail. The drive to my mums had been me trying to avoid confronting that inside me. I did not want to be hasty in what I did next which is why I wanted to go see her. My mother had a way of making me angrier about other things meaning I could for a moment at least forget my own problems. I was not sure what I was angrier at with Rudzani, her betrayal or her getting me suspended. To me these were two very different and separate crimes. Now my mother was saying I must forgive! I know it is in the bible where it says “Vengeance shall be mine!” But mine is not going to wait for that long. I was going to fix her somewhere somehow.
“Do you remember the first speech I ever gave you when you got your first job?”
My mother asked me. How was I supposed to remember that? How did she remember it? She was about to lie to me this woman.
“No mom I don’t!”
“People you work with are not your friends. You can tell yourself that they are but these are people who are forced to sit next to you because like you they need to get paid. You are forced to create a bond but should their job ever be on the line because of you then they will choose themselves over you. That’s why it’s not a friendship but an outcome of circumstances!”
She explained. How did she expect me to have remembered that though? I vaguely remember her telling that me so no she was not lying it’s just that I never really listened to my mother.
“I should have taken it to heart mom I am sorry!”
I responded to her.
“It’s ok. No one listens to me anyway! You and your sister think I am a drama queen who wants to ruin your lives! Sad I tell you!”
She said and I laughed. Well I had to laugh. It was awkward because in a way our mother was very nosey and wanted to be involved in everything we did. We knew it came out of a place of love but the woman was a disaster!
“It’s not like that mum. We do listen. It’s just that sometimes we don’t see eye to eye! I am sorry if it hurts you!”
I told her.
“You are only sorry now because you need my advice. When I called you to say I had cancer you did not come why?”
She asked me. Oh that! How do I tell her it was because she was like the girl who cried wolf meaning it was most likely a false alarm like the hundred other false alarms she had already given over the years?
“I was too busy at work and mum if you were sick you would have come to the office. You have done it before!”
It was no lie either. She thought she had mumps of all things under the sun. Imagine your mother at security asking to see you because she had mumps. At times I think my mother thinks I am a doctor! Turns out she had absolutely nothing but because she had seen some program on TV it made sense for her to think she had them because as her child she had never had them.
“Oh sue me for wanting to stay alive long enough to see my grandchild, your child!”
She said standing up to go to the kitchen.
“I am thinking of making mutton today! Are you staying for dinner?”
She asked me. This was my mother’s way of asking you to leave. To my mother mutton was the meat that visitors needed to learn to respect because it was expensive. If she was cooking it that meant you had to leave and make no mistake about it, if you did not get the code she would ask you to go.
“No mum I won’t be staying for dinner!”
I said a bit annoyed at her. She had not responded when there was a knock at the door! It was Miriam!
“Dude I saw your car outside and I thought I should come say hi!”
I must say I was surprised. She was the last person I expected to see. I had last seen her that day with Sfiso who still had not called me since he got back to London or whatever rock he came from under!
“Your mom didn’t say you were there! I saw her outside when I entered!”
I told her coming up to hug her.
“I haven’t even entered yet. My car is at the gate. Will see her after I see you!”
She said. I was still angry at her about Sfiso but fuck it, it was worth it. I didn’t have salt anymore so we good now, dickmatized!
“She says you buying a house! Congrats friend!”
I said to her and she looked at me confused!
“She is lying! I would have told you. I told her that we are going to start looking at property to see what we can afford. We never said we were buying!”
She explained. I believed her over her mother because that woman can exaggerate.
“It’s your mom!”
I said and we both laughed. It was not meant to be disrespect but we had been friends so long we knew our mothers well. Her mother was like my mother and mine like hers!
“She is in a competition with everyone that one! Don’t mind her!”
She warned me. Having her here made my day seem so much better. I needed a friendly voice to talk to.
“Guess who has been asking about you?”
She asked me. Why do black people like this guessing game business? It’s so hard to know what’s on a person’s mind.
She said with a huge grin on her face. For a moment I tried to pretend that I did not know who Jeff was just to wipe that smirk off her face. It was her husband’s Ben 10 drama.
“Don’t act like you don’t know who he is now!”
She said and we both laughed.
“Come on now, he is a kid! You want him to go and write me a song like I am Pearl Thusi? Imagine that!”
I said and we laughed. Young kids of today and us are so different. Ever since SA hip hop became a thing these kids, even the older ones talk funny and actually think that we all respond to that nonsense.
“Ah from now onwards I am going to call you Pearl Thusi in front of him!”
She said and again we laughed. I had not thought if Jeff since, well since the first time I had thought about him actually. I changed the topic quickly because Miriam could twist this around and definitely go and say the wrong thing to him. She had done it before. She was relentless though.
“You must call him!”
“Dwee because he can’t afford airtime and you do!”
And again we burst out laughing.
“You know he is a good looking boy and you need someone regular to stir the pot since you always insist on being single!”
By stir the pot she meant sex. Goodness Miriam loved sex. She was that type of person who said she was so good at it whoever she gave it to wanted more of her! Is it even possible to be good at sex though? What makes you good at it? Who trains you at it and after how many teachers are you good at it?
“Lol my pot can stay unstirred thank you very much! I am done with men! They are a problem and they lie!”
I told her and she then got a bit serious.
“I am sorry about Sfiso! Thinking back I should not have introduced the two of you! It was a bad idea!”
She told me. I did not make a big deal about it but yes she was right, what she had done was wrong even if she had the best intentions. The truth is a person who tries and hooks you up to someone who is either married or in a relationship without warning you is not a good friend to you. This goes also for someone who is trying to revenge on someone by setting up that persons man with you. I was not going to make a big deal of it though.
“It’s ok just don’t do it again please! It was not cool when he said he had a wife!”
I almost said I felt so cheap then remembered how many married men she had slept with. If women are to be honest, married men are the easiest to sleep because they are the most bored. It’s true that most many are easy but married men take the cake. They feel like they have so much to prove like the fact they can still get girls anywhere and anytime. This thing called marriage, Aowa, it’s scary but it’s only scary because us women think and expect that simply because you looked good in a white dress it’s the last day your man so any other woman as beautiful! We simply set ourselves up for failure!
“So dude you haven’t told me yet, how is the married life? How does it feel to be Mrs. Somebody?”
I asked her. She laughed then said,
“It actually sucks. He wants to know where I am and where I go! He even wants to tell me what time I should go home imagine if I am out!”
She explained but she seemed to be taking it well.
“Yes but that’s part of the sacrifice because you are now one with that person!”
Goodness when did I become such an expert on marriage? You see what happens when you can’t get a man, you read so many Cosmos and end up and expert on bullshit!
“Oh well that way of thinking is not for me! I am going to calm him down don’t worry. I don’t want to feel like I am in a cage!”
She said standing.
I think I had upset her.
“Let me go see my mum before she sends a search party out for me. You know how she is!”
She said as we both walked out.
“Are you leaving already Miriam?”
My mother asked when we passed the kitchen. She too was upset at me for some reason now. This woman mara.
“Yes mma I am leaving!”
“Tell your friend please that she must visit more often!”
She told her referring to me.
“She must be like you, disciplined and married and love her mother!”
She added. Here we go again. Back to the marriage topic! It’s like whenever I came home we go into this marriage mode! She has to find a way of bringing it up which made me feel like such a failure at times!
“Don’t mind her; the sun is not greener on the other side!”
Miriam said as I got into my car! She held the get open for me so I could drive out!
Now must go see my lawyer!
Michael Nkululeko Maphoto
Dear Mike and fellow readers.
I sincerely hope a good Samaritan can assist. As i have been a follower of this blog since 2014 I have developed a relationship with the way we interact. I’m a 22year woman who is just looking for any establishment within the communication industry or anything for that matter my goal is going back to school part time and do my BA in communication science and politics. I hold a Ndiploma in journalism have worked in a community radio station for about 9months. I just wanna spread my wings and make a name for myself. I don’t believe in handouts which is why an opportunity would be highly appreciated.
Will die fighting for my dreams into prosperity
Thank you Pammy