Blessed – Chapter 12

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“What’s on your mind?”

What a question at this moment? Could I tell him that I was thinking about another man who wanted to spoil me rotten when he could not? Here is my question to you, we all know that most guys, no, all guys want the hottest guy they can get but what is that they offer in return? Think about it, for my beauty what are you bringing on to the table? There are so many people who say beauty doesn’t pay the bills but those people lie to themselves! There is way more ugly people than hot people and you know it! Yes I know people say beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone but cruel, mean, evil or not, when a beautiful person walks in you see all the ugly girls giving her attitude when they don’t even know her! Picture Beyoncé, if she was your neighbor would you like her? I don’t think so!

“What makes you think that love? I am perfectly fine! Was waiting for you so we can murder this pizza!”

I told him with a big smile! God knows I loved pizza!

“Oh ok must be in my head. We need to go away somewhere soon don’t you think! I feel like we need to bond hey. It’s always like we are busy plus school makes us unable to spend the time we need!”

He said. It had been a while since we went anywhere and that was because money was tight! He liked travelling and didn’t mind whether it was on a bus or not. Having grown up in Pretoria meant I had not travelled much before I met him. Since then however we have made the student budget work and actually had epic moments.

“Ok cool where would you like to go?”

I asked him.

“Maybe Mpumalanga! It’s very nice there and the accommodation is not too pricey!”

He explained. I knew it would exhaust his budget. My job was to talk him out of it but Neo had a tendency of making up his mind as soon as he said something. There would be no turning back from this.

“How long have you been thinking of this?”

I asked him.

“Not long but I think we should regardless! Am working hard and the uber is making money! I must spoil my leading lady!”

He said and I teased back saying,

“If I am leading who is following?”

Of which he laughed!

“No one comes after you, you know that!”

He said and I did too! The guilt now was real! Neo was almost too good and if I didn’t know him better I would say too good to be true. He was my man.

“What about Sam?”

A small voice said in my head? A conscience is something that keeps you grounded but let’s be honest; do you think Patrice Motsepe and Bill Gates made their fortune by having a conscience? I don’t think so, they made their billions first over the skeletons of others then came back and started giving people money to regain our respect!

“There you go again blacking out in the middle of a conversation!”

He said as he handed me a plate!

This was getting harder to maintain than I thought! I could couldn’t lie with a straight face and constantly I found myself day dreaming even when I was with Neo! That’s the problem with having an affair with someone with resources! You start having things that you never had before and if your partner is attentive enough he can pick this up really quickly. With Neo it was different, I think he trusted me so much in his head me cheating was the last thing he would ever expect. We had been through a lot in our relationship, dark times to be honest but we had lived through them together! He had been with me step by step and I with him which is why I knew he was someone I could trust. I never tell anyone this but about 3 months into us dating I lost a baby! No I did not abort, I had a miscarriage! I had not told my mother or anyone else that I was pregnant and his first words were,

“I need to go tell my dad so that he can give me a job!”

He did not ask me whether I wanted to keep it or not nor did he ask what we should do! I have a cousin who dated a guy for five years, was loyal to a fault even when he cheated! When she got pregnant he beat her up so badly she miscarried. Her crime,

“You cheated on me! That baby is not mine! I knew you were a whore all along!”


Guess what?

His mother and sisters supported him beating her up because he was the breadwinner at home. He worked at Makro of all places in Silverlakes! To them, she having a baby meant that the money she was already taking from him would double.

“If it’s a boy you picking the name! If it’s a girl I am picking the name!”

He said to me. He was so excited! I had just told him that I was having a baby and he was so excited as though he felt as though he had married.

“Baby I am scared!”

I told him.

“Scared of what? It’s a baby! Its God’s gift to the world and oh my word I am going to be a dad!”

He screamed! Imagine we were barely 20, no jobs but to him it was like Jesus had come back!

“I can never understand you hey! I really can’t!”

I said laughing at him.

“Did you think I was going to be like Nasty C and say ‘like she thinks she got a baby on the way, I try to tell her to get rid of it!’??”

He said rapping that part for me. He knows I loved that song even though it was super disrespectful to have a man who made you pregnant telling you to get rid of your child because he made you pregnant and can’t worry about buying that child pampers! It immediately reminded me of that ‘slap her with a dick’ song which disrespects women but we love it and call it art. So Nasty C singing that was art!

“It’s not funny if you put it that way!”

I told him.

“I tried telling you that before and you told me I don’t understand music. What has changed? The fact that now its talk to you as a woman?”

He asked. I did not entertain him though because I had to think of how was I going to tell my mother. She knew I was sexually active, most black parents know that we are they just choose not to accept and advise. They pretend like their ancestors who gave them these rules made them in 2016 when reality is parents should be even closer to their kids today than ever before.

“How do we tell my mum though Neo? It’s easy to say we can do this alone but telling my mum is like trying to get myself shot!”

I said but he laughed.

“Love stop stressing please! You going to affect the baby and I don’t want my baby to have stress before he is even born!”

He said laughing.

“Please take this seriously!”

I told him.

“I am. I will tell my parents and they will tell yours. Let the adults deal with it for us. I don’t think we have done anything wrong. If we love each other then we do the right thing!”

He said. He was being so sweet about it. I loved him. He was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

“Ok love I trust you!”

I told him as I hugged him. I was worried yes at being pregnant but I was not panicking. It’s amazing how much it means to have a reassuring boyfriend because it means you know you always have someone whom when they say they have your back they actually mean it.

That was all history now even though we will never forget it. He had been the most amazing caring boyfriend since. I know of a lot of girls who after such a traumatic thing dump their boyfriends because they feel like seeing them all the time would serve as a constant reminder of that moment but I was not one of them. I was the girl who had survived because of him. I had been young yes and a part of me believed that having a baby that young would have slowed down not necessarily ruined my life as I had not lived or seen enough. This is why with this guy willing to pay for me it to see the world it was too good an opportunity not to miss. Mpumalanga and Dubai are worlds apart and whilst the former was more intimate, closer and amazing because of who I was going to share it with only the stupidest fool would fail to realize why Dubai was a life changing experience!

He stood up to go to the kitchen where he was charging his phone.

“Love I have three missed call from your little sister!”

He said showing me his phone!

“Did she try calling you?”

He asked me! I immediately said no because he would then ask why I had put my phone on silent as I never put my phone on silent when with him!

“You must call her back because it could be important!”

He said and I told him that I had no airtime! He handed me his phone!

“Call her now please!”

He said and handed me the phone! This little brat though! Why was she doing this? She never usually behaves like this!

I dialed her number and she immediately said,

“Brother in law!”

In a cheerful voice!

“No it’s not him, it’s me! What do you want?”

I asked her menacingly so she could see I was not playing with her! This child needed to be put in her place.

“Oh now you picking up his calls! You won’t be with him forever! I will call him at night when I know you will be with your old man! Let’s see then how you will pick up!”

She said and she hung up!

Eish mara why me really?

“What did she want?”

He asked me seeing how disturbed my face was!


I snapped unwittingly!

“You can’t say nothing love come on! I can see your face has changed!”

He said!

“How do you block a number on your phone?”

I asked him with a serious look on my face!

“You want to block your own sister?”

He asked very shocked!

“Yes I do and I also want you to block her on mine! That little girl is out of order! I am so angry at her!”

I said. I was not stupid; I knew what I was doing!

*******The End*******

Michael Nkululeko Maphoto (fb)

Dear Mike

Thank you for reading my letter.

I have been cheating on my husband since before we got married. It’s been seven years now and the guy I was cheating with recently died in a car accident. I am not coping. He was married too. I can’t cry or mourn him because I work with my husband and go home with my husband. It’s like he is always there and I just want to breakdown and mourn for this man I shared so much with. I met him around the same time I met my husband (ten years ago) but we never could be together as he was seeing someone. He married before I married but the affair never stopped. I got married too and had two kids and still the affair continued. We were in love I guess and I know people say you can’t love two people at the same time but that’s them because I know I did.

How do I mourn this man who meant so much to me without raising alarm bells? My husband knew the man and if I cry he might put two and two together.

Thank You

Cheating Wife

53 thoughts on “Blessed – Chapter 12

  1. Thanks Mikeesto, daily dose.

    Isbindi kodwa cheating wife….. you are not coping?? Really!!!! For ten years you have been unfaithful, for ten years you have been “in love” with another man, for ten years you have been screwing another woman’s husband while you allowed another man to screw your husband’s wife, you. And you have the nerve to write here and say you not coping?

    The slightest possibility that your children could be that of the dead man’s, the humongous deception and betrayal on your husband, on your family, do all those things not register an inch in that brain of yours? How do you even have a conscious to cry and want to mourn a man that was never was yours when you went and said vows to another? How do you even have the liver nje yokukheberesha for this long and then have the audacity to want to sit kwi mattress for your side dick? You ought to be disgusted of your very existence sisi wabantu.

    People like you give marriage a very bad image, I wont speak ill of the dead but Im sure we all know karma aint pleasing nobody. Crucify my lack of symphathy but darly you are the definition of evil and I dont associate kindness with such.

    1. Jackzarro I dont think that lady is referring to the “mourning of ukuhlala ekhukweni”. I think she just needs some time to cry and let it out on her own which is something she feels with her husband always being around her… she cant really do! I am not saying she is correct by wanting to do so but even girlfriends mourn boyfriends whom like her were not committed. I will say this again… i am not saying she is correct to want to mourn but ke it is something she feels she needs!!

  2. Amen Jack I mean this woman ufuna sithini kahle kahle as for “cheating wife” like she is proud of what she is doing.

  3. Thanks bra Mike
    Cheating wife o or dira bang nthwe so mara?? Well am not judging,i feel disgusted by people who pray for good husbands,find them then cheat on them.Sisi do u know how many women out there who envy u for being married yet wena u take dat fr granted?
    In fact God should punish u for bootswa sisi cz if u read ur bible u wud’ve known gore it’s one of the ten commandments. As for mourning-onale sebete mosadi

  4. Thanks Bhut Mike 🙂

    Heeeee yeCheating Wife, I had to read your letter 3 times yazi because I could not fathom this…..I dont even have a word for it….what exactly do you want us to say? Or what do you expect us to say?? Had it been your husband wanting to cry over another woman whom he has been cheating with for the duration of your togetherness , how would you feel??? Hmmmm

    So you want to cry and mourn ANOTHER man while your loving husband is there – devoted to you, loving you and taking care of you??

    Heeeeee hay I am lost for words…… Kanti what kind of world are we living in na??
    Why did you get married??

    Hay ngumhlola loo????


  5. Say what you may guys, whether she was cheating or not losing someone you were close to is not easy, she shared 10 years with this man regardless of the circumstances surrounding their affair. Ncese cheatingWife go see a therapist otherwise sooner or later your hubby will see something is up with you.

  6. Cheating wife, get your self sick and not go to work so you will have time to mourn. I know exactly what you talking about, loving two people at a time is possible, very possible. Fortunately for me I decided not to marry anyone.

  7. I just wish to know where did you find the time to see the other guy since you saying you work with your husband and travel with him?

  8. thanks for the dose mike
    so cheating wife what your trying to say is u had a chance to cheat for all those years while working with your husband and go home with him at the same time, or u just got employed recently at ur husband’s company m confused, but now u don’t have time to mourn or cry coz u a always with ur husband. i think u dont want to mourn coz the same strategy that u used to cheat on ur husband u can still use it to mourn on ur side dude. wow wa hlamarisa sure

  9. If he loved you so much how did he leave you,he should have married you instead but guess he knew you weren’t a wife material,he knew you would cheat on him,10 yrs is a lifetime dear to have a marriage based on lies#clapsonce. Guess you also need to be cleansed,zila nge panty(turn it inside out)uhlekisa ngendoda yakho you don’t deserve to b loved coz u don’t love youself,

  10. Tanx mike… @cheating wife I have no words fr u kodwa if u want to continue being married go c a therapist n get ur act together, n hopefully u won’t cheat on ur hubby again spend all that energy to him. People who cheat on their spouses don’t deserve them the is no excuse were vows r concern

    1. @ cheating wife….get in ur car drive somewhere quiet for a few hours cry, scream, shout…get it out ur system and fix ur makeup and go back home to ur family and move on with ur life….I’m not in anyway condoning ur behaviour…I’m not here to judge…but ur lover is no longer here and ur Husband doesn’t need to know about this and finally this is ur chance to start afresh and be faithful!!!

  11. Cheating wife- mourn and cry secretly. Akere the affair was a secret? So everything afterwards must be secret. You are a resourceful woman, you carried out a 10 year old affair.

  12. Thanks Mike..
    Cheating Wife I do not know what to say to you. I just have no words for this thing you did. What is it mara with this cheating business?? Someone please enlighten me!!! In your letter you do not give an excuse for cheating so I’m guessing it was for fun and I assume your husband is a decent dude who takes care of you and family and does not abuse you. I would also like to understand why the dead dude did not marry you if you guys were so inlove? Hai bethuna ndixakiwe yile into.

  13. Guys i think its too late to be blaming cheating wife, she needs our help and advivise, i dont condone what she did but she is also human like everyone of us here, we are all not saints, we all have staff we did that we are not proud of, we all have our dirty laundry laying somewhere, none of us is neither perfect nor better…the only difference is that we all mess up differently hence none of us deserve to be crussified, and none of us is worthy to crusify. Let us love and support each other unconditionaly, i mean regardless of the circumstances and the world would be a better place. Cheating wife please you need Jesus for guidence, He wont judge but giude you on what step to take.

  14. thanks Mike.

    Cheating wife, make time like you did when you went to screw another woman’s husband. go to the same place where u did your thing with him.
    that should make you feel better.

    kodwa haw ihlazo lakho shem..

  15. Cheating wife
    I suggest you go to a place where the two of you used to meet and just cry to your satisfaction. You shared ten years with this man so I understand how you feel. People out here pretending like these things don’t happen , come on guys we even have TV shows ie utatakho, khumbulekhaya, nyan nyan. And you’re still surprised and acting all holy. The poor woman didn’t kill anyone, she just loved a man, give her a break

  16. ME: Is cheating illegal?
    You: No

    ME: Did she hurt her husband by him finding out?
    You: No

    ME: Did she ask for advice?
    You: Yes

    ME: did you advise her?
    You: No

    ME: did you advise her?
    You: No

    ME: Get the fuck outta here with your judgemental tendencies! She asked for advice so advise. She didn’t ask you to judge whether her having an affair was wrong or not. She asked you how to moan someone she loved. You act as though you have never cheated. The difference between you and her was that you got caught. How long it took you in that cheating and her is irrelevant. You are just like her if not worse. In ten years she cheated with one person. How many have you cheated with probably on different guys you dated at that! Shame on you for trying to act like you the best person God ever made.

    Cheating Wife
    Find an excuse to go visit and friend and you cry for that man for all the dick he gave you all those years. You loved him for it so you will miss it. You loved him for the conversations and even the little time spent together so you mourn for it. You lived him for the person he was because ten years is not a short time if the person was good to you you endured him going home to another woman not because you are dumb but because you loved him. People judge without thinking. They want to act like they are Jesus when they all have flaws. Make time for him and mourn him for the man he was to you.

  17. Thanks Mike for the daily dose Woman are so good in putting each other down thats for sure if a man wrote this letter sure thing he was going to get advise he who has no sin cast the stone

  18. LOL. For the 1st time ever, I disagree with Jackzorro nawe Plizzberry and for the very 1st time I agree with Zuma. The Lady asked for advice on mourning for a loved, not cheating qha.

  19. I also have a guy I was dating before I met my fiancé…he is engaged to someone else too….we communicate everyday but accepted that we cannot be together and hurt people we are with now…. we do go out sometime but we never been intimate since I met my new man….I still love him and he loves me too but we set boundaries that it shall not go deeper than that …just to avoid unnecessary stress . I Guess we will always be together by hearts and hearts only….. I feel for the lady for what she is going through..

  20. wena Zuma uyabheda nje no offense i for one dont have advise or any sympathy for this cheating wife and im very justified terms of your comment because i have never cheated.rhaaaa for all we know maybe you are the cheating wife trying to justify your stupid sfebe tendencies like seriously hw can she cheat ten years and not get caught and then come here and ask us how to mourn in secret if she cld cheat uzohlulwa yin ukufihla ukuzila kwakhe.nxa yaz wangcika kwancinza amakhwapha .go wherever you were cheating and cry there wena nx usiyeke la

  21. Lol! Wow. @Zuma Amen. Omg, do you know how painful it hurts to lose a friend, family member or lover? Generally just someone who was close to you? To wake up one day and realise that they’re no longer there, you feel so lost. It’s a kind of pain that I can’t explain. A pain so deep it makes you question God’s doings. The only way to deal with that pain is to mourn. As time goes by, you feel it less but you never forget it. Imagine being taken away the “privilege” to mourn, cry and just let it out. You become that “pain” and it consumes your life, but if you actually deal with it *mourn*, you’re able to move on away from it a little faster and hopefully you get to a better place. So @CheatingWife MOURN! As soon as you find time MOURN. Because you’ll still have to face your reality and live with the guilt of cheating on your husband, there’s no one you can blame but yourself.

  22. Thank u Zuma uyitye yonke, cheating wife wanted advice on how 2 mourn her lover, not oJudge Moegweng-Moegweng. Nizama ukucleaner izazela zeyenu icheating with different ppl ngale kacheating wife. Jackzorro, u were way off the mark shem 2day.

    Cheating wife, u are a resourceful woman, if u can cheat 4 the whole 10yrs without being caught, surely u can mourn your late lover without being caught. Are u sure phoffu that your hubby does not know manyani abt your cheating? Maybe he is watching u very closely, be careful plz when u go abt with your mourning.


  23. Dear Cheating wife. U have every right to mourn for the loss of your loved one. Like the other reader said maybe go to places you use to go with him to find consolation and closure. 10 years wonke without being caught your cheating skills zine levels sana

  24. Fake sickness and visit his grave, well if you know where it’s situated. That should bring some closure…
    Sorry for your loss.

  25. Thanks Mike

    Lol hai bofebe neh😂
    I understand her issue one pussy it’s no enough shame yhoo. Levels mara neh
    Just cry wena nje ko toilet hai mara I don’t think I will get married fok

  26. if you always with your husband how the hek did you cheat…… and they say WOMEN DONT HAVE SUPER POWERS … *SIGH*

  27. Dear cheating wife
    Fistly I would like to say sorry for your loss.
    Pain is pain, not matter how it has been exerted and as much as this is quite a bizarre story I know you are still human and that means you also experience it. I would like to extend a hand of grace and say mourn your lover, think and cherish all the moments you have shared with him no matter how wrong it feels. As wrong as it is to have been cheating, there’s no escaping that your heart was invested in this, and as much as we can judge you and be bewildered at the gravity of your story, there remains a truth that, you are human and to be ok you need to accept pain, mourn for your loss and cherish the moments and lessons. Give yourself the right to mourn then, if not for your sake, then do it for the sake of the sanity of your marriage.

    But after having mourned please do some introspection about why you are married to your husband if cheating on him seemed to be so easy, love is so much more than what we put it out to be. Love refuses to be ok with a wrong, it cannot be possible to love two people at the same time, especially in a context like this. I am not saying go and confess to your husband, rather you need to put your big girl panties on and be honest as to why exactly you are married to your husband if the other guy meant so much to you. I think there is more to your story than you have chosen to reveal. I would like to suggest therapy for sound advise as this will one day come back to haunt you, nothing remains hidden forever.

  28. It would be very interested to find if yo hubby had a side dish or dishes too. Because for 10yrs he was happy with getting whatever 50% love making or sex U managed to give him. Just saying! Time to dig into yo resourcefulness I suppose.

    1. Wooh hats down for you mamis you managed to cheat for 10 yrs with one person.
      I feel for you though u real need to mourn this guy even if it means kumele uye emgcwabeni wakhe. Cos i have a feeling that umshado wakho uzophela ngengoba your lover engasekho cos he gave u purpose nje in a way. Goodluck sisi

  29. well in my culture if u lose a long standing sexual partner u said get a cleansing ceremony so u any get the next guy/woman sick (makgoma). so how did I go about it, or u just sleep with ur husband regardless? take a sick leave nd stay home to sort urself out b4 ur hubby finds out. I will not get into how immoral and disgraceful ur actions where or are. Goodluck.

  30. well in my culture if u lose a long standing sexual partner u have to get a cleansing ceremony so u dont any get the next guy/woman sick (makgoma). so how did u go about it, or u just slept with ur husband regardless? take a sick leave nd stay home to sort urself out b4 ur hubby finds out. I will not get into how immoral and disgraceful ur actions were/are. Goodluck.

  31. She just cheated, a sin like any other….how do you manage to judge a person by such a small part of their life? very shocked at the cruelty here. Most of the stories on this here diary have been of cases of the men cheating, bringing home teenage children many years later and where we have not applauded them, we didn’t condemn them either. She loved someone else is all. He may have not loved her the exact same way as he didn’t marry her but she loved him…n the heart wants what it wants….so disappointed 😞 in you guys, especially Jack and Pilz…sometimes, if you can’t relate or even try to empathize or understand people, if you don’t have anything Nic or helpful to say,its ok to keep quiet. Dear cheating wife, I don’t understand why you did what you did but I know the pain of losing a love one. I also know that love doesn’t answer to why and only you and God know your heart’s truth. So as some may have said here, if you can, go to the place you guys used to meet and cry you pain out and then go home and love that man you have given ten years of your life to. And sin no more…all the best…

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